CreamCat

I'm 30 years old and live with my parents. I'm currently working on a new one-man entrepreneur career, and my parents want results in the next 2~3 years. Ideally, I need roughly 5 years for it to really bloom and stabilize. Given the time restraint, I realized I need to shift balance toward ruthless minimalism and brutal pragmatism for the next 2 years. I'll ruthlessly cheat my learning process when I'm stuck because I found that cheating works terribly well in very many cases for a beginner. There will be limitations in cheating after a certain point, though. Cheating in this case means ignoring bullshit that comes with traditional learning methods. Tradition comes with a lot of bullshit. And, traditionalists tell me I'm cheating when I ignore bullshits in traditions. It's dynamic balance. After my new career stabilizes, then I can think about shifting balance toward true mastery and creativity. Sorry, Leo Gura. I just can't give up my ego, yet. I am so terrified of living a life in which I take orders from other people. I need freedom in my work. I really want one-man entrepreneurship. Perhaps, I'll focus on the most important aspect of my career really really hard and throttle learning other aspects of my new career for a few years. I found myself addicted to this forum. It was a really bad short-term addiction. As part of ruthless optimization process, this addiction has to stop. I think this forum can easily be toxic for people who are beginners in personal development and life purpose and thus cannot stop themselves from wasting time here. Thus, I'll visit this forum only when I have a precise strategic plan for what to do on this forum. Otherwise, it just becomes another addiction. I will still watch Leo Gura's videos. But, you will probably not see me on this forum for many months after I reply to replies to this post.

@Emerald I don't want to reveal too much personal information, but I can tell you that I want to create contents with hard work. It is basically one-man entrepreneurship. I could hire a (virtual) assistant in the future, though. The assistant may manage my website and take care of business issues while I focus on content creation.

@wavydude I just watched it. The title of the video made me doubtful, but the content was good. "The most powerful force in the human psyche is how we describe ourselves to ourselves." I think I'll repeatedly tell myself that I am the most amazing person in my field until I actually achieve excellence in my field. By the way, his father was a shitty father.

@ajasatya By drug, do you mean addictions to this forum and other communication media? You're right that I "want" to let go of addictions and become fully responsible for myself.

@ajasatya What traits of a healed person was I displaying? @Outer I was walking the path well, but I was inefficient because I had a lot of extraneous activities and nice-to-have goals in the way. I know that I will walk the path a lot better without extraneous acitivites and nice-to-have goals and distractions.

@blazed I know how long I should work. I used to work really hard. I just need to stop using communication media like twitter and forums. Twitter is useless, so I'm going to delete my twitter account. Forums will not be visited unless I have a precise strategic plan for what to do on the forums. After I cut out distractions and nice-to-have goals and extraneous activities, I'll naturally start working hard again with a ton of optimizations applied.

@Etagnwo I don't necessarily need to be healed to be optimized and pragmatic. I can't wait for myself to heal before taking action. I just need to be patient and wait until I find a doctor or until my body heals by itself. I'm aware that I'm scared and backed into a corner. But, restraints made me realize that there are a ton of optimization opportunities. Those opportunities are low-hanging fruits. What I said was that I was going to take those low-hanging fruits ruthlessly with laser focus instead of strolling and exploring territory at a leisurely pace. I realized 90% of what I do and learn are either nice to have or of low value. In the short term, I'm going to ruthlessly cut out activities of low value and focus on achieving the most important core goal of my career. I was slow because I didn't optimize and I gradually added extra nice-to-have goals to my career over time. I didn't say I was going to work 15 hours a day. I know there are limits in my work hours. 8~10 hours a day sound like a good starting point. I'll stop using twitter and stop learning a few things that will only help my career indirectly in the long term.

@dude Yes, that happens. But, I think that it is homeostasis that is shifting my gears toward pragmatism and minimalism. I know how long I should work from my experiences. Without distractions, I will naturally return to my old behaviors that involve working hard, but with a shit ton of optimizations applied to my daily routine. I realized there were many activities of low value and there were many nice-to-have goals in my career. I'm going to cut them out ruthlessly. If I was able to achieve the core goal of my career, I would make money without sacrificing the level of quality in my work. Nice-to-have goals can wait.

When Purple people recognize me as part of their tribe, it is initially ok. But, eventually I see limitations of their tribal mindset. I see them waging unnecessary flame wars against people who they conceive as opposing tribes. I don't see opposing tribes, but they do. When Purple people recognize me as part of their opposing tribes, they are immediately aggressive or passive aggressive toward me. Their aggression kind of annoys me. So, I leave. When Red people recognize me as an obstacle or a prey, they are nasty. I excise them out of my life. They do not see limitations of their power ideology. Having more power doesn't mean shit doesn't happen. Power doesn't solve every problem. I'm ok with Blue-Orange. Blue-Orange people are not nearly as aggressive as Purple or Red although I may not agree with their views. Green is a mixed bag. Some Green people are calm and relaxed. Some Green people are angry activists who push their ideologies down people's throats. Perhaps, those angry activists are not actually Green but a mixture of Purple and Red. I have yet to experience more people from Yellow and Turquoise. I've seen some Yellow people deal with Purple aggression calmly. They seemed like optimized machines. Think about a human being fighting enemies without allowing their physical movements to be affected by fear of death. That's optimized machine. As I progress from Green into Yellow, I realize that I need to lower my ego defense even further to become solid Yellow. Yellow = egoic martial art? Below is a video of an optimized fighting machine.

@pluto What's wrong with my belief system when I am easily distracted? Would meditation and psychedelics not help a lot with addictions and distractions?

Meditation is a weak form of psychedelics. That's why it takes far longer to kill your ego with meditation than with psychedelics.

Ingest psychedelics, and you will learn more about your ego.

I stumbled upon the following YouTube video. I took note of the video. Below is the summary of the video. Babies form neural connections in various ways. As a person becomes as old as 12 years old, the person's neuronal activation patterns are stuck in brain's default mode network(DMN). Default mode network is responsible for thinking about the self, evaluations, the past, the future, and so on. Psilocybin deactivates default mode network(DMN) to a degree. Meditation has similar effects to psilocybin. While DMN is suppressed, you lose sense of self, and your brain starts forming new connections toward various other areas of your brain to compensate for suppression of DMN. In a sense, psilocybin lets you access subconscious parts of your brain. This is why you have trips when you are on psychedelics. The new perspectives and insights you gain from trips last for about 1 year. Psychedelics are not addictive, but they cure addictions. LSD and psilocybin cure soft addictions to alcohol, lighter drugs, marijuana, and nicotine. DMT cures hard addictions to heroin and cocaine. One administration of psychedelics can suppress depression for about 6 months. Psychedelics are not harmful to brain and have good effects on depression, ADHD, OCD, and autism. Anti-depressants sold by pharmaceutial industry are harmful to brain and do not suppress depression nearly as well as psychedelics. ADHD drugs sold by pharmaceutical industry are harmful to children's mental growth. Pharmaceutical industry made psychedelics illegal to sell anti-depressants and ADHD cures and various other drugs at artifically inflated prices. One in 5 people can have a bad trip with panic attacks and paranoia and so on for 4 or 5 hours. The bad effects are only bad for 4~5 hours, and you can't put a value on the amount of things you learn about yourself, the world, others, and time and space you live in. One in 3 people reported that psilocybin was the single most spiritually significant event of their life. Two in 3 people reported that it was in the top 5 of all significant experiences. Psilocybin was almost as significant as child birth and death of a family member. It seems strong psychedelics are better than weak psychedelics at killing ego and treating addiction and various mental issues. Pharmaceuticals are harmful to brain and far less effective than psychedelics while psychedelics are harmless to brain and far more effective. That's why pharmaceutical industry made psychedelics illegal. Meditation seems to be a weak form of psychedelics. That's probably why it takes longer to awaken with meditation than with psychedelics. Your demon(your ego) lives in default mode network. By meditating and taking psychedelics, your brain's DMN is suppressed, and your brain forms new connections in various places. This is pretty close to death of default mode network which is literally you. The following video shows what enlightenment looks like.

TJ Reeves thinks it's possible to induce instant enlightenment by taking 4 different psychedelics(MDMA, LSD, 5-MeO-DMT, salvia) at once and electrically stimulating oneself with CES machine. It sounds scary and crazy. Is that supposed to blast one's ego so hard and fast that it instantly dies?

@Outer I don't exactly follow TJ Reeves. I'm interested in his character at this point. He seems to have interesting perspectives that other teachers don't have. Also, as a beginner, it's hard to discern who's ignorant and who's not.

@Outer No. That's why I asked. Have you taken psychedelics?

@isabel The universe doesn't feel like a playground. It feels more like an eternal meat grinder.

I never knew John Travolta was a self-actualized person.

@ansimuz How long is `a while`? Is enlightenment not ego-death? If 5-MeO-DMT induces ego death, it seems like enlightenment.

It seems I need to focus on improving my career first before taking self actualization seriously. Currently, I have difficulty with focusing on a single task at a time. I suffer from procrastination. I thought I was balanced and could focus well, but I was thrown off balance by advanced self actualization materials. I am now easily distracted. It's difficult to get back on track. Shall I just practice meditation and doing nothing for a while? What other techniques should I practice?

Nice theory, pluto. But, I know better! If everyone was existence, why would a hot girl not agree to have sex with me? Perhaps, my ego is not so well connected with God.

I am accepting my worthlessness. Once you accept your worthlessness, you become freer and less neurotic. Worthlessness is where you start. Accept that you are worthless and your life is meaningless. Even if your IQ is 160 and above, you are worthless.

What is the whole purpose of the universe? We are all curious. Even if it is beyond description, you can capture a describable subset of it.

That reminds me of jordan peterson a bit. A lot of leftists attack jordan peterson for his opinions, but those attacks only make him more famous. He makes a lot of money from his fame. He still has a lot of fans. I'm not saying jordan peterson is unethical. I didn't think his speeches were unethical. Perhaps, jordan peterson's goal is not to convince people, but to entertain people with controversial topics and direct people's attention to him with which he does a lot of things. People pay for his programs. People donate money to him. People provide him with valuable research data. If that's true, he's a genius.

Are Coral people guardians or ruthless systemic exploiters?