now is forever

@mandyjw it came from nothing and goes to nothing, recive it as the nothing that it is.

@Serotoninluv just tried to explain the inexplicable - it’s more a description though. question is: have there even ever been explanations or have there always only been descriptions?

once upon a time in a far far land that was not here nor there nor was there gravity. where lakes where deep enough to mirror golden glimpse of light and trees and sky and light blue mountain, a bunnyfishsquid flittered featherlight, roseglittergold, cloudlike dragon through the sky with mirrored eyes so wide a moon fit in. blub blub ting ting blub blub

transcending sickness means holding up the basic functions and starting to create healthy habits and supporting healthy organs while some parts of the body are still sick. caring with compassion to turn the bodies course from towards death to towards life. sometimes it doesn’t matter that we do because it matters what we do with what we do. it is all just transfering between life and death.

got this really bad cold with sinusitis - and also had the chills until the point i thought all my body would give up working, could feel some of my inner organs too. those are the moments when we experience first hand how everything works together and how we are actually not mastering our body at all or only to a certain degree, but are mastered by how the body works and are able to experience its fragility. the problems about any system is it’s illnesses are only felt where it’s dysfunctional/sick (humans are too ignorant and self centered to understand that though) - and the factors are obviously not only external or not only internal they always have to be seen systemically. sometimes it’s interesting, growing up in a family of holistic medicine men gave me a different view on how systems in general work, but understanding only always comes by practice and the only person i can heal is myself. thats also why a doctors prescription is always only an advice based on a systemical concept (that’s why it’s so important to find good ones, as most medical systems are sick, a lot of doctors are only prescription machines for pharmaceutical industry) - if the healing can reach us depends on our own healing abilities.

well someone who wants to point towards drug abuse in relation to homelessness and at the same time in relation to warm-showerers! i‘d not say someone has to take cold showers to be a man or so - but i‘d say taking cold showers and needing drugs for it makes a whimp. with some hope left that the cold might wake you up.

@Aeris thank you! @CreamCat there is nothing to transcend when it’s not properly integrated. it is a form of selfsufficiency to believe that nationalism can be transcended through a supremacy believe. the thought that a will or striving makes you a better more worthy higher valuable person is ignorance. of course it won’t bring you far if you won’t strive - but saying that it’s better than wanting to change something is a joke and deluded thinking of the ego mind, that rectifies it’s own superiority beliefs and holds you from entering into green. a person is a person is a person - a person doesn’t come with a price tag.

@RiseAbove that sounds interesting, but most heavy metals are taken up by food or air pollution - of course if you handle dangerous things you should prevent them from entering your tissues and that includes the hands if they are in contact with glues lacquers etc. but in that case wearing an additional mask might be more effective... also aluminium for example is in deodorant, so proper prevention is using aluminium free deodorant (even though that doesn’t mean to not use any at all there are working alternatives). i mean if you want to prevent from taking up bad substances, you need to exchange almost everything you use in cosmetics and detergents and foods into organic to be a hundred percent sure. i love this, though i don’t know how it already works in the us, but the more people use it the better it will get: http://codecheck-app.com/

@mandyjw yes you are right, but actually that’s one of the things a bodhisattva is not supposed to do: declining that there are other ways to reach nirvana. there is not only one way - although that’s what’s making buddhism special. full acceptance of other will also lead you to understand the other paths. how can you be at peace and fulfilled with compassion if you are fully aware and in peace with suffering?

@mandyjw i guess i get what you are saying, and agree. you are right most people come from an orange mindset. and i‘m always fast to ump in for the exceptions because they already have the tougher path. so maybe that’s where we are at, seeing it from two different perspectives. also, just noticed, be careful with mixing up awakening with spiral dynamics and ultimate patience, these three are not inevitably connected. they fit together very nicely to a picture of enlightenment, and can lead you very deep into your metaphysics, too. but spiral dynamics is a tool, now, to understand development in society and your own position of thinking and agitating in it, that’s why you can only always see where you are at and only imagine how further up would look like - i doubt the buddha had it. of course patience should come along while growing! and then there is awakening what is a metaphysical process of seeing/visualizing and understanding your own position in the world. nothing more, can also lead to solipsism or egotheism. and then there is developing patience, what’s a social process that has to do with understanding suffering and at first, very much with identification until you learn the methods to look very deep without clinging to your own emotions - that’s where only deep empathy and compassion can lead you. that’s the buddhist way. even though there are other ways to enlightenment that might work. buddhist scriptures don’t say it is the only one. and then there is still enlightenment that doesn’t have to do anything with religion or the spirituality of religions - it is enlightenment that even might not work the buddhist way, it never has, and it’s only always the last resort. but it might also not work without understanding the buddhist way.

@mandyjw that’s not what i meant - it’s just because i am sure there are some who need to start to work very early on it... there are people who are more sensitive than others and some are born „old souls“ - if they don’t start early they get lost. so what some might experience with 30 others may have seen with 15 - there are different understandings of enlightenment - different stages of deep traveling, too. you can’t really say someone is more enlightened than another but you can say some see/dive deeper as others. and what is the measurement anyways?

also why do problems usually come in bundles? and why do their multiple emotional threads intertwine? as if shit would be magnetic to shit - or the mess that happens when shit hits the fan - the cleaning is much more work than an ordered shit flush. and who threw the shit in the first place and hid themselves? it‘s kind of an cause and effect game. wow isn’t art amazing! i did that...fuck ? but there is no me you know. because i am an illusion. well that’s what we use to think not only if someone else threw the shit. the shit though - that’s not an illusion.

it sounds like it, but we don’t live in a world without friction. if we construct a world without friction it won’t work, but of course channeling the energy differently is always a way... if you go into the mechanism deep and find a solution. on the other hand sometimes you can only fight aggression by showing your teath - if that’s a laughter or a growling. so it’s really important to see what is outfront aggression against you and what not - realizing who is other and who is me. ofcourse all is you but what of it is other and what does other handle with it? and what do you?

so if i don’t know how to take on responsibility, i get scared of taking it and i push it further away. i solve other problems instead to relieve the pressure - what’s procrastination. instead of using the procrastination to solve the problem. so some problems get solved of the many but not the uncomfortable ones - the ones that feel to heavy to face. and thats actually bad, because the uncomfortable ones then stick around to hount us even more. it’s really better to solve them first - but how to get there, solving them first? i still don’t have a good solution on how to prioritize.

@tsuki are you hurt right now?

so the true answer is one person can’t take responsibility for the whole world as responsibility is not a feeling, it is action/doing. doing the responsibility not just feeling it.

no, it’s ok. this was not pointing towards you being a problem, because being there to help is not the problem. what i want to say is - it’s normal that we can’t handle everything alone. that’s why we are social beings. it‘s just that i have some basic hurdles that block me, i have to overcome. but i also have problems letting others handle my shit. and i got too comfortable in letting others handle my shit, for much too long. same as some people get to comfortable in being on their own for to long not able to recive help. the problem is i‘m also talking about two different situation threads at the same time right now. so it’s very difficult to get the threads in order - they are intertwined.

because i can’t take over responsibility from others - they are responsible for themselves. but i‘m only used to take responsibility for others while i‘m also used to let others take responsibility for me.

healthyness can’t only be measured by happiness. but i don’t really get what you point at tsuki. towards what are you pointing to? that i don’t want others to suffer? that i have a helpers syndrom? that i‘m codependent? what else should i look at? that there are too many problems in this world for me to solve because they arise everywhere? that someone told me i was the problem (dad) and another one told me i was the most beautiful gift on earth (mom)? where should i look at tsuki? can you point the direction? because there are only mechanisms and dynamics to look at. maybe to understand that it’s true, i can only always solve myself and that’s solving the problem. but how can i leave others alone then? i mean if i like people how can i leave them suffering? and if i am the problem they suffer with how could i leave them alone suffering with themselves? it’s too much responsibility to take on, that’s why i‘m running away from taking real responsibility - i also have the problem of sometimes not seing what the priorities are. so in a sense it’s difficult to discern the external problem from the internal problem, as they arise together. i mean the external hurdles and the internal hurdles.

so i see that i write that sentence down, know that i‘m doing it, telling myself i change and then still this feeling of resistance holds me from starting the disconstruction. as if my mind produces the end situation and is already happy with the imagination, illusion of it, although it never happened. happy with the thought alone. i can do it a little later - after i‘ve done the other things, because i‘m here right now, right? i‘m just being here for now, i‘ll do the uncomfortable things in the evening, or in the morning (that’s after the evening has arrived). it’s not that i‘m not being, it’s not that i‘m not aware. it’s just that i‘m only always aware of the more comfortable, until the uncomfortable thought gets really loud so i finally do it under stress and pressure. i can only imagine how nice it would be if doing these things where fun. how can i arrive at doing these things with fun? i‘m not the challenge person...so either i need to learn to enjoy chellange or i need to learn to enjoy doing disconstruction. but certainly i need a different fuel than stress. love is a nice fuel - so how to love the uncomfortable if it is exactly the opposite of convenience? i mean that’s what i really need to face in awareness, the uncomfortable, as the solution is usually found in the uncomfortable as the uncomfortable is the problem.

if it’s too cold at the beginning, you can always do alternating shower instead of only cold shower first, always ending with the cold shower. it’s very good to train the blood vessels expand and contract, or do sauna. i suppose though it’s better heating up the body temperature through wim hof or sports. only remember never do cold showering when you are freezing already. the body is supposed to react with counter heat after the cold flush. beer and codein might work better in the hair though - makes them shiny. if you don’t grow them on the head... well it could still work.

@Cesar Alba i‘m not sure but for the numbness it‘s supposedly the blood flow or a nerve - so i‘d recommend trying to stretch in advance (poses like pigeon or others might help). for the back too it’s probably because you don’t have the right posture the spine might be crunched - either you train the back muscles a little more or maybe a cushion could help. depending on what you are doing in that position, of course then it’s difficult to position the heel close to the body.

@CreamCat must have been on friday... but i got some kicks from it. guess i‘m also an egotheist sometimes. who me? impossible...hehe

@mandyjw didn’t watch it until the end but i had the first enlightenment experiences at the age of 15 and that‘s round about where a lot of initiation rituals take place. so of course it won’t be then but the calling or the path can begin very early especially for the ones with shamanic, creative or healing abilities or family traditions, for some it starts out very early. i even had enlightenment experiences as a child if i remember clearly.

that‘s either a duality or you are an egotheist... did i just invent that? ah no - too late. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egotheism you could say egotheism is a special form of narcissism.