electroBeam

I'm not myself constantly. I constantly change depending on flow of awareness. Changing from 1 state to another. If I'm not myself during normal life, how the hell am I going to be myself during a time where time stops?

@retardedhorse1 What's so bad about depersonalization disorder? The only reason why depersonalize disorder is bad is because you are still attached to some beliefs, while being unattached to others. Learn to drop all of them. When spiritual teachers say that all of our suffering is caused by us, they arent being figurative, they are being literal. You don't have to be miserable just because you have depersonalization disorder. Being miserable is a choice you are making. You can have depersonalisation disorder, and still live a beautiful life. All of your worry about the world being meaningless is just a negative projection of your ego, it has no basis for existence whatsoever. EDIT: Just to make things clear, this isn't a spiritual response, this is me simply questioning your assumptions in your thread.

@100rockets How do you know a brain exists? If you haven't got any first hand experience of it? Enlightenment being a trick is just as likely as science being a trick of the 'mind' whatever the fuck 'mind' means.

Hi guys, I'm a very neurotic person. So I use a lot of shadow work to heal myself through neurosis I have. Though shadow work doesnt really work with me. Like Through shadow work I become aware of what is causing suffering; for example why not being with my ex is causing a lot of suffering -> because it makes me feel worthless, beneath her, and obviously the attachment to her causes problems. But how do you then get rid of the suffering? And be ok with feeling worthless, or somehow change feeling worthless? Thanks PEEPS

@username the latter. There would be no identification with the hopelessness feeling, when it comes up, it will fade into the background, in the same way things from the external world do.

life truly is meaningless, but we still have an innate desire to make ourselves happy, even if that seems impossible during a crisis like this.

Youre forgetting that enlightenment through meditation can yield the exact same results that you are articulating on with psychedelics. Going through the dark knight of the soul can also make you suicidal maybe. Its enlightenment thats the battle, not necessarily psychs.

I don't think there really is a definite answer as to whether or not someone should pursue enlightenment. I don't even think there's a definite answer to how to find happiness. All we can do is trust our inner voice, and hope that it's right. A lot of things can lead to sadness, sure someone on LSD might kill themselves, but in the end everyone dies anyway right? Nothing material exists for eternity.

Did anyone go through a process of deep lack of motivation due to a meditative insight/experience? Recently I went through a really depressed state, basically because I realised how out of align I really am with what my intuition is telling me to do(my intuition/inner muse is really loud). And that made me go through a really rough existential crisis where I kind of began to realise that success and dating is all an illusion that will not fulfil me because it will never become a reality. I'm finding it really tough to motivate myself because it honestly looks like everything I've been striving for has just been a dream, and always will be. Even if I do make heaps of money, money is a mental construct. Money doesn't exist in the present, or more accurately, the value of money doesn't. I don't know what to do. All I feel like doing is being in the present moment, and I can't find a way to get interested in 'the game' because it looks fake/not real. What would you do??

Both. Dating and success is an illusion and therefore i cannot achieve that reality. Ever. It will always be in my head and it will never leave it. I would love to say that I'm just disappointed about not getting women, but thats not the case. This has been going on for some time now. My intuition would tell me to just be present and to take things slowly at a reasonable pace, to be kind to everyone unconditionally, to volunteer at something for example,but my insecurities about success and dating would push me to be ultra neurotic, to try and make the world's best startup, and to date the greatest women. But deep down i always knew that this pursuit wouldn't fulfill me, and that it was just satisfying egoic problems i have had. This isnt the first time ive had an existential crisis involving the same problem, ive had at least 5 in the past. But this one is one that I cannot ignore anymore. I can keep chasing success and women, but the value of success(feeling successful, powerful, etc) is all in my head now, and when it is achieved it will still be in one's head. It never leaves your head. Its literally impossible to be success. I feel deeply dissatisfied with life, because of what these insecurities have done. And i really dont feel like going back to chasing. Maybe in the future but right now im jaded about it tbh. But i need to find a way to love the game again. Because i cannot just keep going like this. @Shin yeah definitely. I was being metaphorical about being a monk. I meant more like living a life that most people dont desire (non material). But this is just a reaction and phase im going through. Hopefully.

Not when being in alignment means turning into a monk

Whenever one feels that he/she is getting sucked into the memories, feelings and thoughts, its usually time to analyse them for what they really are. But the point of meditation, as you said, is not to over analyse the thoughts and feelings, its just to accept them in the present moment. If you aren't being sucked in, accept it. If you are, start coming back to reality.

idk what im going through lol.

@Peace and Love but whats the point of doing pickup if love is just something you cant control? There is literally no reason for it if that's the case. That's an entire industry down the drain.

@Meretagh Hey man, story sounds do similar to me. Be careful about saying that you aren't shy. Just because you can walk up and talk to someone, doesn't mean that you arent shy, it just means that you have the guts to push yourself out of your comfort zone. I was just like that in high school, still am to a degree, I couldn't communicate well with girls. I felt like i was boring them, talking about 'nice guy' stuff, etc. And i felt unattractive. And the thing is I was unattractive But not because there was inherently something wrong with me, but because what we believe about ourselves affects the way that we act. If you keep telling yourself that you are bad at communicating with girls, what thoughts are gonna pop up when you start talking with girls?(hint its in this paragraph). Do you see how that would affect the way you talk about girls? I had deep social anxiety, so I use to push myself into social situations that no one else would put themselves into, in a way of trying to liberate myself from the negative thoughts I had a bout myself. Did that help me much? Nope. Because being exposed to your fears, doesnt change the beliefs about you, if you dont work on them specifically. Whenever you start talking to girls, start believing that you are the greatest gift women could ever possibly find, because honestly while the law of attraction sounds airy fairy and lofty, theres some deep truth to it. Your not the problem, but your beliefs are.

If people didn't want a relationship organically, there would be no reason to fear not being in one. I'm not insecure about not playing tennis, because I naturally don't want to.

In Leo's video about advice for college students, he encouraged us to get into dating so you know what's out there. He said that some people in highschool get lucky and find a girl in year 8, then 15 years later break up, and is left completely clueless about the dating world. That's not what we want to end up being... Being in a relationship without pickup experience will make you that though. Insecurities like these are fuelled by man/woman's natural tendencies to want to be in a relationship in the first place.

@Consept Don't forget, it takes billions of years for dna to change to a point that a certain characteristic disappears from existence. I.e. a characteristic like polygamous or monogamous tendencies. Tribes didn't happen that long ago when you look at the evolutionary scale of humans. What did happen long ago, and for a very long time, was cave men not in tribes at all.

women(maybe) and men are polygamous, until a child is born. If men were naturally polygamous even after a child was born, due to the women not getting enough support, the child wouldn't last very long, hence his genetics wouldn't last that long. People are both polygamous and monogamous by nature. We tend to be polygamous during our youth, but there is a natural tendency to care and look after 1 person after a long term relationship has been established. Men and probably women, both tend to have in their mind who is short term material, and who is long term material. And I don't know any evidence that suggests that men are polygamous about the ones they choose to be committed to, even if they do have 1 or 2 sexual encounters during marriage, they are definitely set on 1 person.

@blazed sure but theoretically speaking you can change your ego into anything. I've somehow almost cured social anxiety and autism just from shadow work. And so many people on here change their personalities into something else that its crazy what you can do. Theoretically speaking, there could be many differences between someone who got rejected, and someone who didnt and got a girl. These factors CAN be material assets, or physical attractiveness, but generally people agree that its 90% personality that gets the girl. So if you can change yourself to morph your personality into the latter, you can theoretically most likely get the girl. Yes this is drastically oversimplified, but when you say that there are some girls you just cannot get, and that PUA is a scam, you're implying that love is fuelled by some fixed, special, unchangeable aspect of ourselves that somehow makes us attractive to girls. That's not true at all, and infact you can completely change your personality to get nearly any girl you want theoretically. PUA is ingenious. Equivalently for a girl, its like putting on permanent makeup, your attraction is changed for the better, forever.

Definitely to have a really deep, fulfilling relationship. Being with someone who really genuinely cares for you, someone you can look after, someone you can express your genuine altruism to, etc. But for me, and i think a lot of guys, girls that I'm attracted to in that way(cute vs hot) are 1 in 500 girls to me. So I gotta make sure I'm the best pickup king on the planet to ensure that when and if that girls comes along, I can definitely get her dating me. I've written privately to a bit of peeps on this forum, and they are all thinking the same as me^^ We aren't doing it because we like sex, or dont like relationships, we are doing it for experience. Infact, I don't really have a strong desire to have sex or date girls im not attracted to anyway. And I know you can look up relationship advice from gurus, but they wont rake in the girl of your dreams.

@see_on_see actually you can get out of the friendzone. Some people do it. They invite the girl out somewhere after 1 year of not seeing her, act a little disinterested in her, and use every pickup technique they can perform, and because hes a changed man, she could get some chemistry going with him.

What pickup tends to do, from what i have seen others do, is change that subtle essence of that person. Their personality actually changes. Like when there are millions of videos out there called 'how to avoid the friend zone' for example, there has to be something to it. It seems crazy to me that this attraction is somehow fixed and cannot be changed, like physical attraction. Because our brains are very fluid, doing personal development does change your personality. The only thing it doesn't change is your intuition, or the 'inner voice', which if attraction was somehow related to higher consciousness, then that would be a problem to pickup. I didn't mean that they set up rules, I meant that with that girl, the reason why she didnt want a date with me over the phone was because I did something that turned her off, subconsciously. Either not being assertive enough, being too much of a nice guy, not showing enough aloofness, etc. And if I had 3 years under my belt, I definitely wouldn't have made those problems. And the attraction probably would have sparked organically. This is what most people in pickup believes and thinks, that it is possible to develop yourself so that you do spark a chemistry with someone, purely by learning pickup.

Yeah makes sense. I just assumed a girl would be like "oh hes physically unattractive, so I dont want to date him" or "oh he wasn't assertive enough so I found him unattractive" in her head while dating me, because im definitely aware of why i dont like someone romantically. But I did totally forget about the whole "girls dont know what they want" mantra when making this question. Though im not quite sure if evolutionary traits still exist. Im naturally very very very selective with who i want to date. I find 1/500 girls attractive and long term material. Its taken me a lot of hard core shadow work to be able to go out on dates and have sex and maybe even possibly a casual relationship with a girl im not attracted to. Ie the average woman. Though im not sure if i could handle a serious or actual relationship with a casual woman just yet, or ever. I must have come across as bitter in my post, but honestly i was just thinking of ways to innovate on pickup and figure out ways to increase skills quicker. Although I do believe that you can improve yourself into someone's heart, if you learn enough pickup. Attraction is a science after all. I would rather them say that they don't find me attractive. At least then I know its not something I said or a family problem or some other problem not related to attractiveness. You must have hacked my phone, because I girl said that to me after dating me for 3 weeks literally 3 days ago. though she wouldn't have said that if I started pickup 3 years ago, because then my ego would have been attractive to her. Again, if i did 3 years of pickup beforehand I would have definitely have gotten her. I can't do anything about it if i dont improve myself.

My current goals at the moment is to get a hell of a lot better at dating women, and also to be a superstar when it comes to my career. But naturally I am not the sort of dude who would be good at these things. I have Aspergers syndrome, have had social anxiety, and am extremely awkward. I cannot just 'accept' myself, as a lot of you would point out. I am so disgraced with my current mental form(being awkward and shy), and my self esteem is so low, that I just cannot do it. Because of my social anxiety, i miss a lot of opportunities to grow myself. For example: - I will see a really cute girl in the shopping centre, and I just can't get the confidence up to talk to her - There is a girl I like on tinder, and i will respond to her, but in a creepy way, because of my awkwardness - I will get rejected for a job, and I know i should contact them to ask my why, but my shyness will prevent me (with self sabotaging thoughts: you are just being a pain to this person) - I will not ask a particular angel investor for money for my startup, because I don't want to upset them. - I'm hesitant in not including certain members in my team for a group project, due to their lack of skill, even if I know that the person isn't the right fit for the team, purely because I don't want to upset them. Whenever something like this happens, I am almost always down for the rest of the day, because I feel like I have let myself down, and that these issues are not issues I should be happening, considering I've been trying to get rid of my shyness for at least 5 years now. Am I being too harsh on myself, or is my guilt completely warranted, considering the mistakes that I am making? If not, what should I do instead? How do I deal with this guilt and shame?