DMM710

But when you don’t have another person’s first person experience to compare it to, how can you know for sure that what you’re feeling would be similar? Also how can we know for sure that insights we have while tripping are true? They may feel true, but when it’s something as powerful as 5-meo; is it not possible that it might be able to create things that are true, or feel true? After all, how can we really know what a substance is capable of doing, and what’s it’s not capable of doing? Why would it not be possible? I’m not saying it’s definitively wrong or anything, I’m just saying that it may be possible that it’s not just a substance that points out truths that were already there.

I realize what I'm about to write can be pretty alarming. Many of you are probably going to tell me I should stay away from psychedelics, but hear me out. Even though a lot of it was very dark, and potentially dangerous; I learned so much about myself from this trip. I really feel like I have direction now in my life. I'm not saying I intend to do any psychedelics in the near future, but I haven't ruled them out entirely. At 6:15 I made tea with 3.5 grams of mushrooms. This was my third time doing them, the first two times I took 2 grams and it was very enjoyable. At the 15 minute mark I was already starting to feel it coming on. I don't even know when it started at full force, but it felt like there was a storm going on in my mind. A little detail that's kind of important - I have Chostocondritis, which causes chest/rib/back pain sometimes. Usually it's just a minor inconvenience, and not that big of a deal, but during the trip the feeling was amplified by 900,000x. I couldn't get comfortable, and I remember walking up and down the stairs in my house laying/sitting down in different places and positions. At the peak of my trip I was laying in bed, and my mind was extremely restless and loud. I was hyper focused on the feeling happening in my body. I couldn't tell the difference between things happening in my head, and things happening outside of my head. This is when it got really dark. I actually thought about suicide. I was reaching for some way to get out of the experience, some way to avoid facing what was happening. I've NEVER considered, or thought about suicide in my life. This wasn't like some negative thought pattern that was making me feel bad about my life; it was purely crazy visuals, and uncomfortable physical sensations. I thought about how it would be over, and peaceful. I actually called the suicide hotline briefly, but hung up. During this whole thing, I had a little voice in the back of my head reassuring me that it would not last for ever, and that I would look back and be glad I didn't do anything. This was the most disturbing part of the trip, I can't believe I actually thought about suicide like this. When I woke up today, this was the hardest thing to deal with. The second crazy thing that happened is I felt like all my vulnerabilities were out in the open. Like everyone I have in my social web that I interact with was notified of all my insecurities and fears. It wasn't just the people I knew though; it was my neighbors, it was the people at the park across the street, It was the people in the cars going by outside, I felt totally exposed. After having to face this for a while, I remember sitting up in my bed feeling like I had schizophrenia. I was mumbling random shit to myself, making weird faces, and my visual field felt like it was being moved to different snapshots around the room. Eventually it took a 180, and every time I would see a new snap shot a little bit of pressure was alleviated. Each snapshot made me careless and less about what people thought of me. It felt amazing. At about the 5 hour mark, I was almost back down to base level; I was filled with dread. I thought that I had just ruined my life, that now I was going to have post traumatic stress disorder. I then ate 25 lbs of food and went to bed immediately. When I woke up today, I was doing what ever I could to avoid looking at what had happened. After a couple hours I decided to face it, and broke out my journal. I've never used one, but today I learned how freaking valuable they are. I wrote out every detail I could remember about the experience. I then got out a separate piece of paper and jotted down the things that bothered me the most. I remembered that mushrooms could reflect your subconscious mind back at you, and that it can bring your deepest fears and expose you to them. I also remember hearing that the best way to make it through a bad trip is to not fight what is happening, and to surrender yourself fully to the experience. After dissecting the things that were the most troubling I came to a few conclusions: I always run and avoid uncomfortable experiences, which includes pretty much every social situation. This has been the case most of my life. When I had suicide going through my head, it wasn't because I felt hopeless or depressed, it was because I was so desperate to get away from something that was uncomfortable. I now have a very strong determination to look my fears in the face, and not run away. I realized that the only way for me to break out of this social anxiety is to surrender to vulnerability. Welcome it, and get used to it. And that eventually my comfort level around people will increase. I've always had a small part of me that thought I was actually insane. It's not something that I consciously think about, but the mushrooms made that glaringly obvious. I'm not entirely sure what I can learn from this yet, but at least i'm now aware of this underlying fear. It showed me the importance of taking care of my body. I don't eat terrible food, but I know I can do better. More vegetables, more water, better sleep, exercise. I feel this need to take care of future me, and be more understanding and compassionate to past me. It really made me appreciate my life and my health. I'm so happy to be alive. I won't be tripping for a while, but I haven't eliminated the possibility. I really believe there is more to learn from psychedelics, I don't want one bad experience to turn me off of them completely. I did some stuff to prepare like meditation, cleaned, cut out negative stimulation for a few days beforehand and wrote some stuff for myself that would help in case of a bad trip, but I guess it wasn't enough. If I decide to do them again I'm going to go all out, every possible safeguard I can find. And the most important thing would be to surrender to the experience, because me not accepting what was happening made it so much worse. Also my writing ability isn't the best, but I tried.

If you’re going to do it just be absolutely sure you’re feeling good that day. Physically and mentally. Even subtle physical discomfort gets amped waaaay the hell up. Be in a good mood, and maybe have someone there or on call if you’re concerned. Also you should start small. I did 2 grams twice, and it felt completely manageable. I would get insights into my life, but it didn’t feel wild and out of control like my 3.5 trip. I had a negative thought come up once, but was able to ground myself immediately. Just be careful man. At the end of the day, it’s a risk. No one can tell you how your trip is going to go. I thought I had a really strong foundation and took a lot of precautions, but mushrooms (more than other substances from what I understand) can be unpredictable.

Thank you

I’m good usually. I have anxiety (which has definitely gotten better) but I haven’t been depressed at all in months. When I was tripping balls it felt like there was no way to ground myself the way I can normally. I have. I’ve watched a bunch of documentaries, read trip reports, started small. It was just a rough experience. If I do ever decide to go back (probably not for a long time.) I’ll be more prepared. I do plan on experimenting with microdosing though. Overall there were no lasting effects from the trip other than more motivation to change myself. I actually feel great, like I have a sense of direction. What happened doesn’t bother me at all.

It's hard to say this early, but I exercised and have set an intention to fix my sleep schedule tonight. I also feel so much more appreciation for being alive. Na, for me it made me realize a root problem in my life. I avoid things that are uncomfortable, it's why I'm so isolated and don't often set out to do the things try to do. In this case I was stuck in a situation, and there was no way out. My normal tendency when something is uncomfortable is to get away from it. This was more about physical pain, and a storm in my mind. It just felt really brutal, and I was reaching for some way out. So in this case, I would rather have been DEAD than deal with something that was uncomfortable. That combined with that vulnerability experience makes me really fuckin motivated to face my fears.

So what’s your opinion on enlightenment? That’s not something that can be proven scientifically. Honestly most of the stuff discussed on here isn’t provable through the scientific method. You make a interesting point though, definitely something to think about. Fair enough

Did you watch the entire video? He addresses every question here with lots of detail. Check it out. This is a good point, but what’s the alternative? I feel like something you experience directly is more credible than a belief, no?

So I’ve done 2 grams of mushrooms twice at this point. I plan on doing 3.5 tomorrow, but there’s a bit of an issue. They were improperly dried, and most likely lost some potency in the process. Would it be foolish for me to take 4 grams to try and make up for some of that potency loss? Like is that way too big of a leap if it turns out they didn’t lose that much potency?

Gonna stick with 3.5 just to be on the safe side. Thanks

Don’t think we’re allowed to give sources (could be wrong in that though, but I’m too lazy to check the rules ) Just google it if you’re set on doing it. Check reviews on any site that you find and be careful..

Be careful with research chemicals though. It’s kind of a grey area. The sites I’ve found only accept bitcoin, and people have gotten in trouble for purchasing them apparently. I considered it, but it seemed a little sketchy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Analogue_Act

Do you guys chant Om like he says in the book? (Ong with a long o) or some other way? There are a lot of different ways people do it on YouTube. I kinda like how Ohm feels more, but I don’t wanna tweak something that I shouldn’t.

I mean physically your body is existing right now, but “live in the moment” is more about your mind. It’s more about being aware of what’s happening In the present moment instead of getting lost in thought stories about the past and the future.

I like shadguru with the exception of this video. what do you guys think of it?

But if life has no inherent purpose or meaning, and you simply create one for yourself; why should it be mandatory? I think it’s entirely possible to work a job that is decent and be ok with that. How can we know for sure that life purpose is something written into the fabric of existence? Isn’t it just an opinion or perspective? How can you make a definitive statement like “It should be like this.” To me life purpose seems like a belief, not really something that’s irrifutable. Or maybe I’m fooling myself because I haven’t done the work to try and find one. Idk, maybe once you have one it doesn’t feel like a belief anymore.

Lately I’ve been using meetup.com to find meditation or other spiritual groups. A lot of the people there have “spiritual enlightenment” listed as an interest. My first meeting is on Sunday, but I’m thinking this might be a good way to meet like minded people.

Nvm

Is that true? I took mushrooms twice, got some really great insights but zero visuals either time. My sense of self hasn’t been solid for years now, I don’t even know who I am at this point lol. I do still feel like some sort of entity, but it’s not as solid as it was most of my life. That’s interesting though, I’ve never heard that.

Yooo!! Welcome back dude!

The only thing i’m not a fan of is how Leo presents life purpose as being completely mandatory to your success and happiness. I’m sure it’s extremely effective, and if you’re completely lost and are working a 9-5 mind numbing job it’s probably just the thing you need. But if your circumstances don’t allow you to buy the course and drop everything you’re doing; the whole “mandatory life purpose” thing makes it feel like you’re not on the right track, and that you’re missing something. I love Leo’s videos, and if I had the funds I would have no problem straight up donating to him. He’s helped to transform my life so much. That said, I don’t really buy into the mandatory life purpose. I think it’s great, and if that’s the path you chose then fuck yea, go for it. I’m sure you’ll get EXACTLY what you’re looking for. But I also think you can have just as good of a life without it.

What benefits have you gotten from journaling? How long have you been doing it, and how long did it take before you saw the benefits? What do you journal about exactly?

If you’re completely present in the moment you won’t find a self in your direct experience. The only time the notion of a “self” exists is within thought. Thought is temporary, the “self” changes throughout your life, your self is not the same now as it was when you were a child. What you are is not temporary, and is not a story.

I’m never sure if I’m doing concentration correctly. It says to imagine you’re looking from the back of your head to brumadhya, and that the chakra is actually in the middle of your head. Apparently a lot of people mistakenly focus on the surface point. I find my attention flip flopping between physically looking in the direction of brumadhya while focusing on the outer point, and the back of my head. I’ve never looked forward from the back of my head, I’ve only ever looked out from where my eyes are actually located. I find it hard to visualize it. I can visualize the back of my head, the front of my head, but I can’t imagine actually looking through my head from the back. Like am I supposed to picture my head as being transparent? I don’t get it lol.

He was last seen on wednesday,so no. Lol Probably checking tech support questions like he mentioned