Sempiternity

This is the best guide for being a Man.

I just realized what is the thing that stops me the most when it comes to Women. I have no problems with approach. I'm good looking, charismatic, interesting, confident. So I have zero issue attracting women. And I get hit on alot by very attractive women. My issue is that when I see a beautiful woman I'm attracted to, I judge whether to approach her, or have sex with her, based on if I would want to date her long-term. Which is very few women, as I have high standards. So with this I am limiting my possible sexual connections by like 90%. See I live in a pretty tight-knit community and everybody knows everybody. My fear is that if a woman is interested in me and I have sex with her, she may want more afterwards and want some kind of relationship, and if I don't want that as well, then I could hurt her. And in my community, to hurt a woman, you will get a bad reputation very quickly. Besides that, I'm a compassionate man that doesn't want to hurt a woman's feelings by creating false expectation by having a passionate night of shared love. So I'm left with passing up many many opportunities of connection. How do you go about handling this? Do you be up front and honest with her that night, before having sex, and say this is a one-night thing for you, and don't want anything more? Seems cruel and a major mood killer. Do you have sex with her and then just ignore her messages afterwards, until she eventually gets the hint? Also seems cruel and unethical. Do you have sex with her, maybe even a few times if it's good, and then tell her later that you're not interested? Again, seems unethical, as if that's what I felt from the beginning, the right thing to do would be to be upfront from the beginning. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just be an uncaring man, so I could have sex with as many woman as I want, and not give a shit whether they get hurt or not. But, that's not me, and never will be. Being a loving person, I have no choice but to consider the consequences of my actions on others. So you can see the conundrum. I wish I could get over this fear, so I could just follow through on every connection that arises, not worrying about the aftermath. How do you personally handle this? **Experienced input only please.

I'm not trying to 'get away' with anything. Nor am I trying to be a 'fuckboy'. I just want to be a good man with an active sex life, and not hurt anyone. And yes, getting a bad reputation in my community, means you are unsafe, and unsafe men get ostracized from the community, by not getting invited to events, gatherings, parties, festivals. My community greatly cares about creating a safe space for women. And my community means everything to me, and is my whole life. "I mean the girls who want serious relationships would avoid you and the ones who also just want quick sex would stay." This is not what I'm saying I want. I want to be able to have sex with any woman I have a sexual connection to. Some might lead to a stronger connection that leads to a relationship. Some might not. The point is, if I have a feeling that it might not, is it okay to still have sex with her, with that knowledge it won't necessarily lead anywhere.

To add to this, I'm not talking about going out to random clubs and hitting on Stage Orange and below women. I am only attracted to Stage Green and higher women. My community is huge, like 8-9 thousand of amazing Stage Green / Yellow peoples. So there is no shortage of amazing women. If had lower standards, and was just going to clubs and picking up club chicks, this issue wouldn't be much of an issue. As I would probably never see that woman again, after sex. But this is definitely not the case. Every woman I come in contact with, and have sexual attraction with, is someone that I will see again, and is connected to like every person I know. Hence the apprehensions. And I am very much not attracted to random club/bar chicks.

Heard all this many many times before. Hopefully this time it's a revolution, leading to a space that fosters intelligent discussion, instead of a cesspool of immature teenagers or grown 'men' who have the maturity level of teenagers. I've been checking in on this forum for many years, as I see it has the potential to be something great, and at times there is greatness. Years ago there used to be some real jems of deep conversations and debates. I feel like the toxicity of this forum has scared off most serious people, and most what remains is childishness. Hopefully this time it makes a difference, leading to a real change. Thanks Leo.

Letting go of all those things, or not, the dream remains the same. The dream (reality) has to cease for one to be Awakened.

When I'm home, my digestive system works perfectly. When I'm away from home for many days, say on a camping trips or week-long festivals, my digestive system seems to shut down. No matter how private of accommodations I have, my system just can't poop for many (3-4) days when away from home. This of course hinders my enjoyment of these activities. Do you know of any natural (no chemical laxatives) things to take (beyond fiber, or coffee/tea, as that does not do the trick) that can get the bowels moving smoothly even when the body doesn't want to?

Everything, including everyone in your life, are all you. It's all the same. Everything is within consciousness. Nothing is outside of consciousness. Consciousness is one thing - Everything = God = You. This Now, is it, all of it, is you. To give up your family and loved ones or not, is irrelevant. It's still the same, all you, all God. What's the point of all this, of life? It's to unify love. Can you reach higher states of love through "others"? That's for you to decide. My advice, love you family. They ARE the path to spiritual realization, as your love for them helps you maximize love. Use that love and connection as a tool on your path of realization. To do the opposite seems counterproductive. Gratitude for those in your life is the path of love. Love is the path to realization of who and what you are. Which is Love.

Fascinating. So you're saying you now put weed above 5-MEO-DMT, DPT, 5-MEO-MALT? Is this now the psychedelic you would recommend to followers of your work, to achieve full God-mode?

@Leo Gura When I take edibles, I easily get to a place of feeling like I'm dying, and if I went further and didn't hold back, I may break through to an Awakening. With your experimentation with weed, have you had an Awakening?

high enough 5-MEO-DMT dose + surrendering to your death.

I'm old-school, and have had much success in my dating/sex life, but I've mostly just been fumbling my way through my dating life. I would like to learn how to properly do 'approach', and to be able to more effectively 'close'. I see lots of people on this Dating section using terms like Sets, leading to a close, seeding the pull, bouncing, and so on. What is this knowledge/teachings from? Where would you suggest I go for learning effective 'game/ approach'?

Yep, I confused the names. Thank you, @The0Self. Thanks for the resources

@NoSelfSelf. Thank you! I'll check these out!

@Raze Thanks for the resources! @NoSelfSelf , @something_else I appreciate the concern and advice, but that's not what I was asking for. I'll go through the resources and pick and choose what I think will better my chances with connections. I'm smart enough to wade through any bullshit, and find gems that can help me better in interactions with women. I'm not going to follow anyone like a cult, I just want some knowledgeable pointers on how to better approach effectively, and to close. Instead of talking with a girl, and it going nowhere because I never learned how to properly close. I've been dating for 30+ years, so I'm no newb. Just wanting to be more of a pro at approach, instead of winging it.

Goals? Being able to effectively approach, and close. To be able to connect deeper with those I'm attracted to. Could be casual hookups, which could maybe lead to more committed relationship if we click and have common lifegoals and the love is deep enough.

@Thought Art Thanks, looking for other teachings, sources. @Federico del pueblo I'm pretty self-confident, self-assured, no trauma, good looking, talented, etc. Just lacking proper education on how to Game effectively. Looks like technical game is what I'm looking for. I looked up Todd V and subscribed. Thanks! Anyone else have good resources to check out?

Excuse my ignorance, but what is the source of these terms you're referring to? Is there a video, book or particular teaching these terms come from?

What I'm talking about is reading body-language, looking for non-verbal cues, or best yet verbal confirmation, to gauge whether your physical advancement (in this case a pretty significant advancement) is wanted and welcomed. The way you make it sound, is you say "I love you", and "literally just grab girls and pull them into you", on the very first interaction, without getting any kind of consent whatsoever, or taking into consideration that maybe she might view that as unwanted, or possibly as a sexual assault?

Granted I don't know enough about how US government systems fully work, but wouldn't his be as simple as the President signing an executive order, or passing a Reconciliation bill, that doesn't require Senate majority? Don't they do this kind of thing all the time to raise the budget, extend programs, and avert government shutdowns? So they could just easily dump many billions into the program to shore it up. Where that money comes from is another story, but the US doesn't seem to be worried about transferring billions to this or that on a regular basis it seems.

This is missing a very important key consideration, and that is being able to read body-language and nonverbal cues. I suggest when first approaching a woman on a dancefloor, ask a question, or tell a joke, as an opener, and read her reaction. If she smiles and engages, then you can be more assertive. If she repels, turns away, avoids eye-contact, or otherwise gives you a verbal or nonverbal cue of not receptive to your presence, then that is a "No", and a no is to be respected. To do what Leo is basically saying here, which is to walk to a woman dancing, say "I love you", and "literally just grab girls and pull them into you", is going to get you punched, nasty public confrontation, publicly shamed for abhorrent actions, escorted out by security, charged with assault/sexual assault, or all of the above. This is the time of the Me Too movement and Consent culture, you don't just go up and grab a woman, without being sure she wants that, otherwise you are assuredly going to have steep consequences. Best way to be sure is to ask.

I met someone at a festival this summer. We fell in love almost instantly. She's a world traveler. Makes crystal jewelry. Is a very talented musician and does touring around the country. She has a cabin in the woods, and travels in a van conversion. She's witchy, a gypsy, mystical, and highly spiritual. Spiral Dynamics, I'd place her at stage 50% Green, 25% Yellow, 25% Turquoise. She's grounded, loving, unafraid. The 3rd night we met, she wanted to do Ayahuasca together in her van and have sex all night. She's a true Goddess, and sees the God in me. I share this because I see alot of you wanting high value, high spiral dynamics women. 1st) if you concentrate on making yourself high value, you will naturally attract high value women. 2nd) go to love festivals in your area (or travel to them). They are the best place I know of to meet the most amazing women. Good luck to each of you

Yeah I guess it depends on what communities you're getting into. In your area (I'm super close, in WA), I'd maybe try SHAMBHALA and/or BASS COAST, or ELECTRIC LOVE MUSIC FESTIVAL, next year. I know huge number of friends that went to both, and they're the ritual, spiritual, sacred everything type peeps. At these types of events, there will be ravers, but also the spiritual crowd. Just need to seek out and find the peoples you resonate with. Get in with the communities, and you'll most likely naturally connect with someone in the group.

No neediness here, I have abundance. I think what he's talking about is when you're just starting dating, and trying to 'convince' a woman. We're way past that stage. We're deeply in love. When you hit that stage, you go all in, holding nothing back. I've learned long ago how to manage attachments. So I can go all in in a relationship, and don't have attachment to how long it will last, or if it lasts.

She's complete with herself, and doesn't need anyone else. Only if you can add value to her already amazing life, can you share in it with her.