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Everything posted by Maycol

  1. I love your answers, @Leo Gura, but I still can't understand it... What else can I do to understand this with the conviction that you have? I don't want to parrot other people's truth when it's not my true realization.
  2. Post it on your blog then, but would love to see you sharing your ideal rectal administration.
  3. @Leo GuraHaha, my wife and I are trying so hard to find it around the Houston area. It's even tougher than our trip to Peru sitting down with a Shipibo Shaman and drink Ayahuasca. Might just have to settle for some LSD for the time being... Wonder if the effect is different to administer LSD rectally,
  4. Have a sitter who has experience with it if you're unsure.
  5. @Leo Gura Are you talking about this
  6. @dharm4 I appreciate it that you open up another possibility of experiencing reality directly. Thank you.
  7. Thank you, @dharm4 for sharing your insights. I deeply resonate with it.
  8. I've read Peter Ralston's The Book of Not Knowing along with many other highly recommended books on the lists. I find Ralston's materials considerably lacking and less direct compared to Leo's videos. I sincerely believe that with Leo's progression on his path, he will continue have more and more potent and effective pointers and insights to share. There are videos that I'm keep rewatching many times and still contemplating and getting benefits from them. Just my personal opinion of course. Leo's teachings have spoiled me in a good way, because he is able to concisely address and give great pointers on really complex topics like no other I've come across. I still continue to read and explore on my own, but just coming across Leo's videos in these 2 months has caused a giant leap for my progress personally.
  9. Thank you so much @Leo Gura for sharing your insights on your latest blog entry. In the middle of following your descriptions, the Absolute Infinity side of the coin collapsed and reconciled into itself. Without even needing any mystical or nondual inquiry, just plain old normal scientific investigation in sober state is more than enough to expose the illusion of an individual self. The self, just as every single object that exists, once I try to figure out how the whole Universe come to be, it is just impossible to trace the origin and separateness of anything; even if I can explain and trace back to the appearance of this moment, it will take infinity, not a long time, but infinity to describe it fully. There is technically no "perception" of anything, because the subject has to be apart from the object to "perceive" the object. So what is this that we are seeing? It's existence looking at itself, as itself, because it's impossible for it to be even one iota apart from itself. All the things we believe to independently exist, exist due to we being taught and conditioned to arbitrarily fragment the whole into parts, for easier manipulation and control. There is no choice, even though it appears that we have, but in actuality, we are just going with the flow. It's like saying the seed choose to sprout, more accurately, when the conditions are right, sprouting happens, it's not the choice of the seed to sprout or not. Whatever this moment is, is the perfect convergence of the whole Existence, I take it for granted that, for just this simple moment to be what it is, it takes Infinity to manifest this, and every other manifestation. There is no space either. It's a convenient concept to help the separated individual believe he or she is navigating the World, but there is no space. Space, you, world, all things are superimposed over one and another. I burst out in laughter the moment the realization dawned that there's no absolute individual self anywhere. The illusion is there, but it's not anyone's fault that it's there. There is no way to judge if a person is doing it or wrong, because it's not that one person standing apart from the whole to do his or her thing, rather it's the Universe doing every single one of us, and no different than the weather, a tree, an ant, etc. I will continue to work on more understanding and realization, in whatever way that is obvious and apparent; for example, although I have an intellectual understanding of the emptiness of nothing which allows for infinity to take place, I don't have a convinced visceral knowing of it. I'll still work on it, if it happens great, if not, fine too. I'm also working on nothing ever happens, is happening, or will happen. Will try to get some 5MEO DMT to work on those, but if it doesn't happen, it's fine too. As for the Infinite nature of Existence, just pick up anything, like your smartphone, or the monitor in front of you, or even a penny like in Leo's example, and start to trace the origin of it's existence, follow it slowly and thoroughly. It works very well for me, that I'm completely absorbed and dissolved in that inquiry. I didn't expect that that's the portal that helps me see through the illusion of a separate self. There is just no space to contain anything other than this whole thing. This whole Existence takes up all the possible space and allows all manifestation to happen. I know it's just a small glimpse, and this realization still needs a ton of integration and deeper exploration. If what I'm looking for is the Infinite Being, this is an opening that I can come back again and again to deepen. Now, I'll work on finding that opening to realize "Nothing ever happens", and "Nothing is Everything" as an actualized Truth, not just some other intellectual theory that people are parroting. Thank you once again. Looking forward to enjoy your future videos. Just within one month of watching your videos, the mind keeps expanding, made up societal beliefs are dismantled on a regular basis, and it already has significant changes in normal daily interaction with others; luckily, for my case, those are positive changes, and I find that the freedom I allow myself can also be enjoyed by people around me too, and they are naturally drawn to this energy.
  10. Thank you all for the encouragement. The condition here in this forum is conducive for growth and exploration, which makes the possibility of expansion and actualization more favorable. The play although is filled with characters but there is no actor or doer behind the masks, there is nothing behind this Michael character, who's pulling the string, the Michael character is itself, with all his thinking, stories he made up, preferences, physical .body, a part of this one whole impersonal purposeless manifestation; it's just all one thing doing its own thing, but the many arise out of it due to our own mental distinction and labeling. Beingness as @cirkussmile has mentioned, can also be experienced, but the Nothingness that is "identical" to Infinity is still not a truth yet, plus I still can't wrap my mind around "nothing happens" yet. Nothing needs to be different when the illusion of self is seen through. It's not special like a personal achievement, because whatever ALL the dream characters are doing with all their personal beliefs simply can't be otherwise, I will have to remove myself from the infinite whole to be the cause of my own action, which is impossible. Will continue to seek help and advice and pointers on this fun trip. The whole journey is more like a play now, so I can play intensely, because even the idea of "I don't understand this" or "I need further growth" all falls under the desire of the Ego. It's not right or wrong, it's just the momentum that keeps driving this drama forward, and this illusory character assigning made up stories, meanings, and even values to this one arising.
  11. Congratulations, @egoless! If you don't mind, could you expound a little more on your response to this? Thank you.
  12. @Leo Gura Thank you for a concise recommendation based on your own personal experience. I appreciate it. It's less frustrating than Nondual teachers like Tony Parsons who just keep repeating, "there is no one here, nothing is happening, there's nothing you can do to achieve it". Some enlightened teachers keep emphasizing that "nothing ever happen." Is it just play on words are they truly mean it that even though we're seeing a lot of activities and movement in the phenomenal world, there surely is something here. They are very adamant that "nothing ever happens, nothing is happening, nothing will happen". As for LSD, the most intense experience with it was as fellow, based on my imperfect recollection: I was in a blank space, and I was in very intense state. There was an inner instruction telling me if I want to proceed, I need to be brutally honest, be as honest to yourself as you can ever be. So as I admit that I was fearful, a layer of myself peeled off. I have to keep proceeding with all the emotions, energy, and thoughts that arise, and honestly admit I have them. Layers and layers of me keep dropping off as I'm honest with myself. Eventually, I come the center of this process, as I've finally shed every ounce of myself, and it was nothingness at the center, there was no I, neither, and I've dissolved into this nothingness which I intuitively called "God", even though I'm following any religions in particular. I did Ayahuasca in Peru, with a very strong brew that might have some 5MEO DMT. I supposed to purge out the excess brew, but I was so gone that I couldn't physically even throw up. The first ceremony is like 100X more intense than any LSD experience. There were so much information, and collapse of time and space, that I could process much. There were period that there was just complete silence, and I just know I'm in this silence with nothing else. The second ceremony, I think my mind couldn't take it anymore. I spent a few hours in what I can only call complete VOID. There is just nothing like a black hole, pure nothingness. Flickers of lights started manifesting, and the Shaman and his Icaros finally brought me back to this stable reality. I was so thankful to be in this solid linear reality, because that other reality either with manifestation that is too fast too intense, or just absolute complete silence and nothingness. I regret not taking up Martin Ball's offer for a 5 EMO one-on-one consultation, because now that I'm ready to do it, I heard he's no longer doing it anymore. I'll keep doing there work and hope could one day realize and reconcile all duality in waking consciousness. After coming across your materials, I've been watching a few of your videos over and over again, especially "Reality is a Strange Loop". I also bought the book list and read a few of them already including the top 5 stars ones you recommended. I've personally met and spent time with one individual whom is undoubtedly "enlightened" to me. One moment he can reply my questions with the most profound answer, another moment he's deep in samadhi and can't even function, another moment he's be mesmerized by his own hands, or a leaf. I'll stop now. Hope you would do some retreats or visiting cities in the US, so people like me can interact directly with you, @Leo Gura. Thank you very much again for providing this platform for kindred spirits to share their experience and help each other.
  13. If there is no Duality, and everything is Oneness, how can Oneness even be real? "One" only makes sense when there's "Not One" to compare it with. If All is Oneness, even that Oneness negates itself, so there cannot even be One. When Oneness itself is deduced and negated, what's left then? That's something I have no way of expressing.
  14. Dear @Leo Gura, How to realize the duality is oneness without any doubt, instead of just an intellectual understanding? Is it still using the Neti Neti process? I've read several books on the purchased book lists, I feel that the author might have an intellectual understanding, but I don't sense that he truly realize it. It's like reading a very well researched paper with a lot of good citations, but the writer doesn't seem to have a deep realization of what the points he keep repeating throughout his books. I've been rewatching your video on "Reality is a strange loop" many many times. Sometimes there is a crack, but other times there are frustration not not getting it viscerally. Asking for your help sincerely. Thank you.
  15. Dear Leo, I'm still enjoying your videos tremendously, especially those mindfuck, paradox, and absolute infinity video. The Guided Meditation video is one of the most effective instructions I've come across. I love your videos and the contents you're sharing so freely that I have to buy your book list just as a small token of appreciation. I don't know if you can even go deeper than your public YT videos, but I'm willing to join a Patreon platform just to access more radical and deep materials that might not suitable for public audience. Would you consider doing a video on Dzogchen, where you being the Master, slowly talk and unravel the illusion of self in the viewer? Many have claimed to reach Enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism through Dzogchen. Even those who get a glimpse of Enlightenment has such a clear realization that they can always come back and work on stabilizing in that Nondual state. Thank you very much!
  16. Dear Leo, I enjoy your sharing tremendously. Found you a while ago through the interview with Martin Ball. Your recent videos on Understanding Absolute Infinity and your deeper realization is the most articulate, clear, and honest expression I've come across, and the messages are as much as the dream character can intellectually understand. One simple question, why is there even a need to self actualize or waking up, if all there is, is already Absolute Reality. If there is a need, so be it; if there is not, perfect too. The Absolute Infinity doesn't really give a fuck whether the dream characters wake up or not, yes? Paradoxically, if the dream characters want to strive to wake up within the dream, but still confined by the rules and physics of this dream, it's completely OK too. That leaves everything to completely perfect as it appears, awakened and asleep, since it allows every possibility to exist, and not exist at the same time, and no one can get it wrong or get it right, yes? Thank you very much. Looking forward to play and experiment in your future development. With deepest love and appreciation, Michael
  17. When my wife and I were in Peru, we went through some really challenging Ayahuasca ceremony. The retreat that we went to, the Shipibo Shaman gave us really strong and thick brew, but we supposed to drink large amount of water after 30 minutes to purge out the brew. I resisted to drink the water and didn't throw up, so that DMT compound stayed in my body for a very long time, which is not intended. Everything collapsed in one singularity, the usual empty space was completely filled up, there is just one thing constantly morphing and transforming, and a lot of purging happening too to the physical body. Afterwards, everyone has their own profound experience to share. Since we all have our own experience of infinity, there is freedom and a safe space when sharing our own stories, there is no right way or wrong way. That's what I realize when I come back to this physical form, that there is infinite way God presents and experience itself. So it's hard to take a stand to say this is the right teaching, that is the wrong teaching, everything has it place in the whole puzzle, including Ego, Shadows, Destruction, and so-called Negativity. Right or wrong are just perspective, what's more valued for me is whether it's useful or not. I admit that I'm very glad and happy to find a community of people where this kind of exploration make sense to them, and we're opened to further exploration, play, and evolution. There is also this sensitivity to detect a person in real life when our energy resonate because we had similar experience. It's wonderful to treat each other as the divine fractal of God, and communicate and fellowship in that way. There is no higher or lower, just different reflection and facade of the One Absolute Infinity. Thank you again for your work, @Leo Gura, they are highly informative, entertaining, and authentic. Please keep up the great work, brother!
  18. Thank you, @Lucas Lousada. Thank you, @Leo Gura. Happy to continue to explore in this infinite possibility with dear brothers and sisters of the same dream. @robdl, don't think it makes any difference if it's ego or not. Absolute Infinite has to include everything, including Ego. Ego has the same value has any other thing, including Love and Hate. However, not recognizing that, is also perfect. There's nothing that can be said or happen, not said and not happen, that is not permissible. "Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted." Each of us as an expression of the Absolute has to also be Absolutely Perfect in our own form of manifestation in this dream world. For me, it's more like playing and exploring, but for some other, another path will be taken, and it's completely alright. It's more fun and wonderful to have more dream characters awaken and enjoy the whole game.