Damir Elezi

I don't feel unable to deal with anything, I just don't do it I know that I can do all the stuff I put my mind to but it never really gets accomplished practically unless the bad consequences really lead me to a mental break down and then I do it last minute out of stress and fear.

Art is something highly subjective, if you don't know why you create it, who would? To me, art is mainly self expression. But as Leo says it can certainly be used to cherish the beauty of life itself. The actual meaning is different for every artist and every 'consumer'. But I think it should come out of some kind of urge, an inner need to do art.

I think understanding politics can be useful for personal growth and even more to become an influence in whatever way in the world. But for the sake of personal development, I'd try to focus on the psychology behind certain political processes. Don't conceptualize and see people as either "right-wing" or "left-wing" or label a mass of people as the name of the country as if they all were in favor of their government. This kind of thinking imo creates all the bullshit we see in today's politics and news. People not being able to differenciate and look at things objectively, with understanding and compassion, But rather putting people and movements into boxes and demonizing/glorifying them, while bashing people with a different opinion. I personally like to see the study of politics as a study of psychology, But on a larger scale.

There is a similar thread already, but I just wanted to collect some general ideas and practices which really boost your Energy in the morning. If you can, elaborate a little bit, like If you use affirmations, what do they say? My morning routine until now is just drinking some cold water, 20 mins of meditation, visualising and planning out My day. I do that before getting ready, taking a shower etc. I feel like this isn't optimal yet and I can improve it. Thanks in advance

@ThinAir i just found out about that movement today, very interesting. I guess I'll buy that one

Media and porn addiction Mental masturbation Lack of discipline (I know there are videos about that but they basically said to be disciplined in order to be disciplined I am looking for a way to remove distractions without cutting cell phone use or computer use completely because I still need those devices in my creative process, but they also cause a lot of distractions at the same time.) And I have problems with honesty, as I don't want to hurt people's feelings but I see more And more that this behavior backfires on me all the time. How to develop radical honesty? And is it better to be compassionate or honest when there is a truth which would hurt another persons feelings but is not specifically necessary to speak out. Like the common example of telling your girlfriend she looks fat in that dress. Is it necessary to be honest there? Just a few points I am struggling with at the time. Btw I loved your videos about understanding absolute infinity. Amazing stuff right there.

Just wanted to have a list of some philosophies which talk about happiness. Those which I came across are: Buddhist philosophy Taoism (I'm gonna consider Those 2 Philosophies even though I know that there is much more to it.) Stoicism Epicureanism Existentialism Aristotle's eudaimonia Utilitarianism Thanks in advance

After I spent some time really concentrating on studying various traditions and philosophies, meditating, introspecting and looking at nature, I noticed that I am more and more tired of the way regular people around me behave. By regular people I mean people who do not care about the big picture of their lives, who don't seem to look at it a bit deeper, who just follow the normal track society shows them. Like, 90% of people. I don't really enjoy regular conversations any more, I don't even like to be in the presence of other people any more. Everything these people talk and worry about seems so shallow and stupid to me. I feel compassion towards them, it's not like I hate everybody, but I get the feeling that it's not worth it to talk to anyone instead of the very few people I really care about and people who seems to be on a similar track as me. I feel like I come off a bit arrogant, but it's just how I feel. I literally enjoy walking around in the woods or looking at some small insect more than talking to another human being. But this is a bit counter productive in a world which is strongly influenced by humans right? I mean, I still need their support if I want to have a successful carreer for example. Is this a normal sign of growth or is it something I should work on? Did you experience something like that?

@WaterfallMachine wow this seems interesting. Can you explain that to me before I sign up? Didn't find any actual explanation of what this site is

UPDATE: I noticed that most of the time when I think about people this way, it's not about some random person, but about my family. It seems like I don't recognize myself in them any more at all. Since I don't have much social contact, I may have projected that onto everybody. Leo often says that he stays away from his family for similar reasons, that they are mostly negative people who he calls "chimp-like". What are your thoughts on that? And thank you for your replies, they reminded me of how arrogant It can be to think of oneself as 'more conscious than others'

@Moreira Funny you mention it, I actually come from a macedonian gypsy family we just live in germany.

Name: Damir Elezi Age: 18 Gender: Male Location: Germany Occupation: Student, free employee at a local newspaper Marital Status: Dating Kids: No Hobbies: Rapping, personal development, kung fu, reading, philosophy, nature, meditation Ever since I was a kid I loved to find out how the world works and I always looked for some kind of deeper meaning. As a child I found that meaning in my religion (christianity) but I outgrew my faith when I was around 12 and became the typical science-loving atheist. I kinda noticed that life has no meaning whatsoever and adopted a motivational-video-like mindset like "I am gonna create my own meaning of life through hard work alone!!!" At around 16 I started going to the gym and really pursuing my passion which is making hip hop music. Technically speaking, I have been doing personal development since then, but I didn't know about any of the concepts that are specifically taught, nor did I even know about the term 'personal development' at all. I was very stressed, neurotic and beat myself up at the time, as I treated myself like a result-making machine, hating myself whenever I couldn't achieve something. Some day, a friend gave me a book, in order to help me cope with stress. It was about teachings from the shaolin monks and how to implement them in every day life. It was my first personal development book and This was when I learned about personal development and buddhism, both of which really influenced my life. Some time later I looked for methods for time management and found Leo's video about that. I browsed his channel a little bit and found his videos about meditation, which really resonated with me because I was interested in buddhism and meditation anyway. From this day on I Became kind of a personal development junkie. Personal accomplishments: I cleaned up my diet (went From extreme meat and junk food eater to mostly healthy-eating vegetarian) Gained more control about my emotions and manage to be calm most of the time and create feelings of happiness without any stimulus. Started putting out content, pursuing my career as a rapper As somebody who used to really hate working out, I Found a sport which I really like (kung fu) Created a meditation habit and had some minor experiences Freed myself from the opinions and judgements of others. Became much more compassionate Started to find a sense of meaning and belonging, which I thought I had lost forever. Able to accept my body completely, as I used to really hate looking into the mirror just 2 years ago (I am pretty skinny) What I'm working on now: Breaking my porn and internet addiction Building a successful career as a rapper Pursuing enlightenment Studying various philosophies and spiritual traditions Becoming completely indepentent from my parents Building a disciplined workout routine and Building some muscle

I am working on my dream to become a rapper and music-producer. At the moment I usually have a lot of spare time I could easily use to write songs, record, or learn the theory of it. I bought the equipment, I have time at the moment and it's really something I want. However, I still struggle with getting started every day. I wake up at 7:30 every day, even if I don't have anything else to do, but I usually don't start working on my craft until it's already like 3 or 4 pm. Half of the day just passes by and I spend all that time on reading about some philosophy (which I care about and enjoy, but it should really not disturb me working on my life purpose), watching youtube videos or porn. I realize that I might have an addiction. At the end of each day I feel bad because I could have used the time much more effectively. I feel like I just don't get things done. I also noticed that, when I work together with someone else, I can literally work for 7 or 8 hours without taking a break, without even thinking about eating or going to the toilet or anything. I also did this when I was alone 1 or 2 times, but only when I had very high motivation. In my regular every-day mind, it seems like I really lack discipline and work-ethic to really follow through. This mindset also applies to other areas in my life. I often procrastinate when it comes to fitness and even my job, but there I am just too scared of getting in trouble to just not show up. I often show up late though. What can I do about this? What can I do to keep myself away from distractions, start right away and stay on course, without falling off every 30 minutes? Any advice?

What helps me in such situations is the realization that outcome does not matter. I mean, literally, nobody gives a fuck, everything I achieve or don't achieve will be forgotten. After we are dead, we will not have anything out of it any more. This sounds pretty pessimistic but it keeps my mind on the fact that it's pointless to do stuff only for the outcome. What matters is if you generally feel good doing that activity. You will not love an activity every day and every time, but ask yourself if it generally increases your well-being and brings you joy. If it does, do the thing for the activity itself. This way, the outcome will not affect you in any way, since you don't even care. I, for example, am a rapper. When I'm writing and recording stuff I often notice that I don't like the thing I produced, it doesn't fit my expectations a.s.o. Can be pretty frustrating. But when I remind myself that I make rap music mainly because I like doing it, I don't even care any more because I can always start over. Do the thing for its own sake. This is the best way to develop discipline.

Very tough question, although it's something so fundamental, people have been arguing about this for millenia. In my mind, it's something like peace of mind and contentment, childlike joy, but permanent and long lasting, sort of reaching Very deeply. Lately I have been starting to doubt if something like this really exists at all.

Schopenhauer, asian spiritual traditions like buddhism, taoism, yoga, hinduism, sikhism, nietzsche, epicurus, stoicism, aristotle, heraclitus That's on my list until now

@Nahm you mean I should do that Every morning?

@Siim Land And how exactly do I do this? I tried taking on that mindset a couple of times, but it does not last long usually. I think I might need a slow process to develop more discipline And commitment

Regret. Loneliness. Hopelessness.

Meditation. Simply make it a habit to sit down every day for 20 minutes and concentrate on something like your breath. This way, you will train your concentration. There are also many concentration exercises on the internet, just google them.

My girlfriend suffers from borderline and depression due to childhood abuse and mobbing. I got together with her almost two years ago with the mindset of trying to change her and help her get out of her depression. I gave up on that, as I realized that I can support her, but can not change her because she has to do that on her own. I used to enjoy the relationship and she has been very supportive and loving. But since a month or so, I feel like I don't really love her as much. We keep fighting over small bullshit things almost every time We see each other. We both can come to peace after the fights and apologize, but I don't feel like this is right... I cry a lot and this whole thing stresses me extremely. Also the thought of dating other girls doesn't go out of my head. I am 20 years old and I feel like my freedom is being taken away by this relationship. It's my first girlfriend and I want to experiment with other girls and see how far I can go with them. As We both plan to move out of our parents' house, We planned on moving in together (which I agreed on), but I don't know if this is the right step, because it gets me a whole lot closer to her. We hang out together every day anyway, and it's already a lot like living together, but I think if We move in together, a breakup wouldn't just mean emotional pain (which is bad enough) but Also financial problems and stress about looking for another flat I can afford on my own. What holds me back, besides the obvious fear of emotional labor, is that she is actually a really cool, caring, loving and beautiful girlfriend. She supports me a lot and understands me better than anyone I have ever met. At least sometimes.. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't understand me At all. She always apologizes after She does some stupid things and I am sure that living with her would be managable.We don't even have real problems and We like each other a lot. It's just... I feel like I'm wasting potential. She's also pretty clingy and I am the only person She can really relate to. Whenever I bring up something about breaking up, She pretty much begs me not to break up with her. The thought of losing me freaks her out and I don't want to hurt her. She is a lovely person. I am also scared that She might hurt herself if I break up. I think to myself that I'd love to have her as a good friend, while dating other girls. But An open relationship is not An option for her. And breaking up would mean losing her forever. I don't want to lose her, I just don't wanna be this close. I really don't know what to do on this one. Any advice? Thanks in advance.

@Annetta thank You so much, I really appreciate that <3

This is seriously one of the most amazing things I have heard about my situation, so glad I posted This on here. Thank you so much. Thanks everybody for bothering to answer, it's crazy how This could develop into such a discussion Just if you're wondering, I talked to her about everything, she was very sad but didn't get mad at me or anything, she understood. That moment I notice that I do not want to leave her and never see her again. The thought was unbearable. You could say I am too attached to her, I probably am. But if we'd leave behind everything we are attached to, everybody on this forum would be a hermit, wouldn't he? I decided to give this one last chance. We are both much too dependent on each other, I suggested that we should not be together as much any more and focus on our own path, seeing The other person as our inspiration and supporter, But not as something we have to dedicate our lives to. I also suggested meeting new people, me talking to other girls and her talking to other boys, just to get out of the "this person is the only one I have" mindset. She first didn't understand, But after some talking She got past her insecure beliefs about me not really liking her, trying to cheat on her a.s.o. And really understood. Right now, our relationship is in a much better place again and I feel much more empowered talking about all that. I also feel like I don't even need her that much any more - I WANT her. No idea if this is a good solution and No idea how long it lasts, But I am willing to try. To those who asked about her condition, She has been in a psychiatry 5 years ago for half a year and has been in therapy since then until now. Her therapy has ended some months ago, But we both agreed that She should search another therapist to get professional help. You gotta understand - when She was 15 She couldn't bare being alive. Tried to kill herself several times. Today, most of the time You don't even notice that there is something wrong with her, except the normal shyness many girls show. As her boyfriend, I can see her darker days and there are some times where She is without motivation and it seems like nothing works. She will be full of negativity and pull me down with her. But this also has gotten better in these 2 years. In the beginning She still had problems with alcohol and cigarettes, which She took to calm herself down. Now She doesn't take any of that any more. I see potential for growth here. Maybe I am just deluding myself But who knows, fuck it. Right now I am just happy that it got better for the moment

Thank you guys, alright maybe this is the best solution. But how do I do it? I want to avoid hurting her as much as possible.

For me, it's the fact that I recognize that my mind is highly dysfunctional. All I actually want is to be content, peaceful and happy, but that seems like the hardest thing ever, having a society always at your ass, pushing you to do some bullshit to pay your bills, PLUS dealing with all kinds of personal issues, from relationships that hurt me to all kinds of bad habits which rob me of my energy. Trying to get out of this, get rid of this dysfunctional bullshit and trying to turn my own life into something I can really enjoy 99% of the time is my definition of Personal Development. It's not about some skill for me, it's about dealing with life, which would constantly keep me depressed if I didn't do anything about it.