Olaf

What is your form of healing? What I do is kinda weird lol. I spend my time focusing on something that maybe makes me emotional, angry or hurt. Then I cry it all out with some loud music on or dance it all lose. At the end I get quiet and meditate, I feel for me this is my most natural way to release heavy emotions or heavy stuff I have been carrying. Doesn't mean I do this everyday, actually I am taking this time this week to specifically work on some stuff I need to process and doing some inner work and letting allot of tears flow, I know as men your not supposed to cry, but call me a bitch then. I don't want to walk with hurt and pain throughout my life. What do you do to heal from things that happened in your life or are happening in your life? Would love to hear from you. Thank you and also maybe this helps someone find a way to release (PS I also meditate before, so before and after listening to loud music and feeling the emotions and letting it all out)

@Manusia I like that, I would actually recommend doing letting go work combined with socialising/approaching as that is the place where we get most stifled at and where get in our head instead of being present, that is what I have been doing and it just gets crazier, in a good way.

Needing validation means that you care about getting rejected or not. I still notice myself becoming validation seeking when I am in a downward spiral. What mainly happens in a negative cycle, which you probably recognise is you approach, get rejected, you judge yourself, you have less energy, you again approach and feel worse and worse and worse. This is why no judgement for any rejection should be given. Every action towards your goal, which in this case is socialising, should be seen as positive. It is moving the needle forward, judging yourself will get nothing out of the interaction and the next interaction. Now also why do we want validation? Because you get rejected, you judge yourself for it, then feel worse, then want someone to be nice and kind to you, but guess what YOU WILL NOT GET IT, so instead, don't judge individual rejections as something bad. Don't get reactive. You be at the source of your state. So what happens with validation seeking is that if I get rejected I am unhappy, when I get validation I am happy, but that is reactive, you aren't drawing state from within. To draw state from within you should get non reactive towards both positive and negative, you are just having fun without an outcome, that is the goal. The goal is the journey, the goal is not to get the validation, but rather to be president, have fun, do something out of the comfort zone, to approach, when you do that, give yourself validation for taking action, that will get you into winner effect and into state. Which gets you out of state is being reactive, not approaching anymore or getting stuck in the head. Take more action, then have more fun in each interaction, even if you get rejected, have fun being rejected. And avoid judging yourself ever. No self judgement only positive stuff. Like imagine going to a concert and instead of singing allong and dancing allong, you get stuck in the head and every dance you do or line you sing, you judge yourself. It is this stupid self consciousness that happens, it is also selfish, because you aren't contributing a fun vibe, instead you are trying to get approval. Yet the funny thing is when you don't need validation and approval, you are just expressing and having fun, then you get validation. Almost like law of attraction, you want it, you don't get it, you don't care about it, you get the approval.

@AION HAHAHA what the hell, this is hilarious. This world has changed so much I can't keep up. Looks maxing, pink pill, what crazy trend is next?

@Rishabh R Getting rejected means nothing, like literally. Also a crush is cute, but your not in high school, go approach woman and live in abundance. This trying to get one person to stick with you is the hell of scarcity: let go. Like what even is a rejection? Someone saying no in the moment, but when you would be the men they will all say yes. And being the men is not looks or money, it is energy.

I think I truly got Owens message yesterday even tho I have followed him for a long time and also this is why Julien Blanc emphasises letting go work. I truely feel that being unstifled is the whole thing. Now certainly on top of being unstifled you can have some techniques, but it is like the baseground. For example, if you are unstifled your brain literally opens up, this is why Owen many times says "wake up!" because you are in your head, analysing, thinking, overthinking, which I am all guilty off. And when your brain wakes up, which I felt yesterday, what happens is that you have endless things to say, you basically are thinking about what you are saying normally, but when you are unstifled you are just saying whatever feels fun and not to be "the clown" and amuse others, but to amuse yourself and what you think is fun. Like one thing I was thinking about was the movie "the hangover" where they just party hard all night without thinking anything, that is what I feel it kind of feels like to be in that unstifled state where you are wild and fun and free for yourself and your own amusement, not to get anything, not to get approval, not to get sex, not to get a relationship, just because that is what you want to do. Basically the opposite of being stuck in your head and being timid, boxed in. That is how you want to live life and it is against what EVERYONE is doing. Meaning, you walk around and everyone is timid and introverted and stuck in their head and it has become normal to be that way. THIS is wrong. This is what it means to be out of flow state. Even the most charismatic people you meet are either drunk or on drugs most of the time, which still isn't flow state it is just a mask, because you are too afraid to be vunerable being sober, being wild and free being sober. So what do you get when you are unstifled? Endless things to say, being able to be fun and spontaneous, good vocal projection, loose: voice, body, energy. More able to lead others, get trust from others, have others be receptive and listen to you, being able to be vunerable in a way where people hear you and understand you. And I feel this is Owens message even tho many of you criticise him on this forum, I think his message is literally: get unstifled, be in flow state, have endless things to say, be unfiltered, get into winner effect and create success in every area of your life from that place/state.

@Jirh Don´t get me wrong I am a bit like you aswell, I am just learning about this stuff. But when I saw the people killing it they were informal or unfiltered from the get go. Which is about letting go having fun and shutting off the thinking mind. Again this is all still a bit new to me, I would recommend going to see someone who knows how to do this and it will blow your mind. Because it sounds like you are stuck in your head, just like me. But when you see people who are unfiltered, you can see how they are loose, spontaneous, having a ton of fun and being free, unfiltered. Also with the screaming exercise, you could literally feel someone go from in their head and timid towards being loose and able to share vulnerably/authentically and with passion/emotion and strong vocal projection.

@Jirh or have fun for the sake of having fun, girls are fun. I discovered a new word yesterday `scary fun` it isn´t a real word I just made it up, but when I saw others do approaches it were in fun ways I normally would be scared of to do, because I am too timid and stuck in my head. That is when I thought `scary fun`, meaning what is fun but scares you a bit aswell. Like doing a dance for a girl or giving a whole group a hug or high fives and give ENERGY etc.

Something I wrote to myself after the event: I am too timid, I am too in my head, I am too stifled/anxious, not going BALLS TO THE WALL, EYYYYYY!! Having fun! FUCK YES! Why not? Why fucking not? Why be boring? So that I don't get harshly rejected? Who cares about harsh rejections? WHO CARES about ANY REJECTION? If you are having fun, if you are having the time of your life, is that not why you are meant to LIVE?? It is like, yes you are taking the safe route, but it is SOOOO boring! Like how fucking boring can it fucking be? Just go, just do, just approach, just have fun, live LIFE, fuck it! Make them think bad about you, make them say how you are a loser, make them call you every bad name in the book! BUT atleast YOU LIVED LIFE and they had NO FUN! So fuck em! Love yourself! Have fun! LIVE LIFE! Lets go!

Okay, so as promised, I went to Owen's event and I would give you guys a review. Yes, Owen wasn’t there, although there was an 2 hour Zoom call with him and we could ask him questions. But I did meet 2 wingmen I will go out with who live in my city, who also went to Todd's program. And I did meet his team, Ibraheem, if I name it correctly. He’s a really awesome dude. You could feel that everyone started to lean in when he started to speak. His energy is completely chill, but also powerful, and how he speaks is like storytelling with different emotions, as if you are reading a book and want to make it come alive. I took a bunch of notes, and one of the most important things was definitely getting unstifled. We had someone come to the front and, just as with Julien, he had to, like, yell and stuff. And what you could see was with the exercise after that, which was the EYYYYYYY, that he completely changed. It was like he became free of the box he was stuck in, like a bird being released from its cage. I think that is also what it truly means to get out of your head: to be free. To express freely, to be a bit wild and emotional. To NOT be rational or boring. You need PASSION and emotion. Now, they went into how to get into that state, and that was by voice projection. It is kind of vice versa: when you project your voice properly, you become unstifled after doing that for a period of time. Then your brain starts to work due to the winner effect of projecting your voice—not to yell, but to project loudly. And what starts to happen if you do that is that you get out of your head and become unstifled. You get into state, and STATE is the most important thing. Everything in the seminar was based on state. We were singing songs, yelling, etc. All to build state. We also socialised, and it is honestly the easiest place to make friends, as everyone is very social. Also, we talked about the tonality positive dominance, which is basically how you talk when you are having fun. We asked Owen's favorite pick-up line, and he said, “Not speaking at all, just looking them in the eyes. That is my favorite line.” Which shows how much he feels the importance of state over techniques. Also, what I could truly feel is that if you change inside, the outside kind of takes care of itself. When you are able to get confident inside and feel like you are winning, and call everything you are doing a 1000 out of 10, getting into that winning effect, that will take care of your speaking skills. You will become a natural public speaker or content creator or whatever. Now, after 9 hours of the free event, we all went out. I approached many girls. Nothing crazy, but it was funny because I also never approached on the square before. I always went inside the clubs to approach, so this was my first time approaching in the square where the clubs are. And actually, that is where everyone approached, because we couldn’t get into the clubs anyways. So that was actually awesome. Also, I was mainly looking at how the instructor was gaming. He mainly was body rocking when talking to a girl or approaching with side-by-side, and then a little more with his back turned to her so he has to look a bit over his shoulder. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but also I actually gained more confidence from everyone around me approaching, as it made it almost this normal, socially acceptable thing to just approach people. It is now literally 12 hours later or so, so it was a long day, but I learned a lot. Basically, if you are failing, it is because you are not creating a winner effect, you are judging yourself instead of seeing every step to your goal as a win, which will make you feel like a winner, and then your brain opens up. I literally could feel how I wanted to do wilder approaches: I could feel how I was ready to just say stuff I never said before and just have fun. The change is within, and that can be changed by outside exercises, not by just meditating, but by projecting your voice, getting into state, optimising your state, singing, talking with emotion, amusing yourself, anything to just pump your state and be free/expressive. Having a wingman will probably also help your state, depending upon who it is, though. And definitely you are in state after the event from the whole community and the socialising and exercising within the community. So yeah, I am very happy I went to it, and it was 100% worth it. Oh yeah and Owen called Leo Gura a good public speaker lol.

@Leo Gura preach! I will think about it! Oh wait, I mean apply it hehe

@Ulax yes and many people will go out and day game, I think this is what I need right now

@LifeEnjoyer how do you know?

So there is a girl I have been seeing for a few days and I am learning something as we got in a bit of a fight. Normally I might would be I don´t know clingy out of scarcity or something. And it got a bit of a bad taste and I decided to just go full abundance. I said, "you know I think we have differences and I don´t know if we can figure it out and it is best if we go our own way and maybe later on our paths will cross again." and what happend? the whole conflict got resolved in 2 mins. Okay so abundance is key if you mean it. Like you can't fake it, as I truly meant it, like I am ready to leave and go, but if we resolve it we can give it another shot. I think that is the best way to first of all resolve conflicts and she laughed afterwards saying, you are supposed to be the clingy one. I think abundance is key in communication. A lesson I learned today, surely I knew it already but to this degree I have not known, of completely being okay with letting go, guess also my spiritual work or my amount of options has something to do with it.

Yes and the timing couldn't be better, this is exactly the time that I am working on this area. I will let you guys know how it went.

@LordFall Yes I would say it is much more natural for extroverts. Yet an introvert has its own qualities that are attractive to women, as extroverts can also just be loud monkeys at times. I am going to see Owen tomorrow in person in Amsterdam; maybe his energy will reveal something to me that I need to know. I want to feel what it is like to be in his presence and what his energy is like.

@Mellowmarsh you sound like a parrot too that cannot read the room or in this case the forum. Like Ramana krishna singers in the middle of a square where no one gives a shit about Krishna. I am not gonna give you the argument that you want. I have better things to do.

@Mellowmarsh I think it is better if you stay in the spiritual niche, I am not trying to have a spiritual debate here.

@Mellowmarsh I don't understand what this has to do with anything we are talking about here, seems totally off topic.

@Joseph Maynor Yes, agreed.

@Natasha Tori Maru Yes being authentic and congruent. Also, guys think you can fake stuff, when girls see right through your BS most of the time, or atleast that is what I expect of them.

@Jirh surely

@Joseph Maynor elaborate

@Joseph Maynor 100% but maybe I haven´t been clear in the post, this felt right in the moment, it is not that I say this in every argument. We had arguments before, but things got so heated that I thought this would legitimately not work out.

@Natasha Tori Maru finally someone asking the right question. Yes I would have, that is why I am saying I am not using a technique