Olaf

@Joseph Maynor Yes, agreed.

@Natasha Tori Maru Yes being authentic and congruent. Also, guys think you can fake stuff, when girls see right through your BS most of the time, or atleast that is what I expect of them.

@Jirh surely

@Joseph Maynor elaborate

@Joseph Maynor 100% but maybe I haven´t been clear in the post, this felt right in the moment, it is not that I say this in every argument. We had arguments before, but things got so heated that I thought this would legitimately not work out.

@Natasha Tori Maru finally someone asking the right question. Yes I would have, that is why I am saying I am not using a technique

@Valach if it is a technique you can fake it, but you can't fake true abundance, which is the willingness to let go. To be truely abundant is love, spiritual.

@Valach this is not a game, this is abundance, don't get me wrong I am not doing this as a technique.

@LordFall Yes respect is important and therefor also respecting her space, I wasn't playing games I am genuine when I want to give her space. I have to look into those memes lol.

Okay so I want to talk a little bit about youtube. First of all I will give my secrets away, for me the best way to grow is to use someone famous in a niche and have some drama about them or involve them in a subject. This is working well to get maybe 1k to 4k views. Especially when I edit it well and work on the thumbnail etc. Now what has helped you to grow on youtube? and what are some things that helped you to get more reach? I am curious to hear. Even if you are in a different niche then me, I think I can still learn from you and also the other people on this forum.

Okay this is exactly what was happening, holy shit he describes it so well. You get tense, because you are trying harder, that is also what I felt at the end of that bad day. Like my muscles were more tight. This is starting to make sense, his advice says: become 10% less tense, act like you're stoned lol or become aware of the tension, but just don't use it, like with singing. I have had singing lessons so I exactly know what he means when he talks about the tension when you are trying to force a note. I think Owen calls it tension versus release muscles.

I have had this happen before. I don't know why, or I kind of do, but I'm not 100% sure exactly what my problem is. Today I approached some girls, and I can say that I wasn't in a good mood. I don't know why. I just wasn't feeling it, and I was also kind of doing it like it was a task I had to complete because I had committed myself to it. It's like going to the gym, you make yourself go because you want to stay consistent. That was one thing. Also, once again, I didn't have too much time, so even though I tried not to rush, I still felt in the back of my mind that I shouldn't take too much time in between approaches. So somehow I was still rushing, even though I tried my hardest not to. Every set went wrong, and this is why energy is so important. One day you're super confident because you're feeling good, sets open easily, and people are very receptive. Other days you're just not feeling it, or you're rushing, or whatever the reason may be, and you're not able to do it by any means. I think these might just be the ups and downs of the process, and slowly it will become more stable. But for now, it was kind of annoying, and I went home earlier than I wanted to. Looking back, I'm not feeling too bad about it. I still went out despite not feeling that good, but I'm trying to understand how I can have fewer of these days where I'm not in flow. Warming up is important, and not being in a rush is important, but I feel like there's something more underneath the surface that I'm doing on these off days that makes it much harder for myself than it really needs to be. Anyway, I'll keep digging and trying to understand what happens on these days because I know it wasn't the girls, it was me, my energy.

@Lyubov thank you for explaining, I think yeah that quality is valuable although what is quality right? Like something attention grabbing can still not be interesting as something that people seem to be interested in, but the video isn't super well edited, they still seem to watch. Example would be for example news about politics. People seem to be interested in it and they watch it even if it isn't that well edited. Also I have seen videos with the craziest editing I have seen and get very few views. I was listening to mrbeast and he was talking about the purple cow effect, which is that you do something different than everyone else and that makes you go viral. That is quite an interesting way to see it. For example, "Eckhart Tolle will run for president" HAHAHA I would instantly watch. Of course then also you have to deliver on that video title, so it doesn't become clickbait. So for my latest videos I have been trying to be as original and sometimes I have to think an hour before coming up with a title or thumbnail. Also I have seen some people blow up without editing at all which always blow my mind, like what the hell are these people doing, it doesn't even seem they have a strategy.

@Xonas Pitfall oh yes that is a good idea, looking at outliers from 1k to 50k is definitely a good one. I think I should look more at the smaller channels then, because the bigger channels can go very viral but also their data isn't really valuable if you have a smaller channel. Yes I feel editing is something I am still learning, I think people also enjoy clips, like in streams. It kind of is the streamer area right now, so I am thinking of making more videos that almost are stream like, but then edited and still within my niche. Is that your channel btw?

Today went better, I watched some things on Owen about decision, persona and self judgement fatigue, I think that set things in perspective I realised that I am acting like an introvert as I am introverted lol, but that when I am doing this social stuff I should act more like an extrovert, aka get energy from conversations by removing the fatigues, the energy leakages. That is why going crazy in a club would work, because you just talk with everyone and you spend very little time in between sets, not out of rushing to talk to people quickly, but to just let yourself take action fully without holding back or judging yourself. Something I am still figuring out to navigate, but something I wanted to share. @LifeEnjoyer thank you for your answer. Also the idea of introverted people is that they get energy from taking breaks and being alone and I think what Owen is trying to explain is what extroverts naturally feel and that is that you can get more energy from being social. It comes down to energy.

@LifeEnjoyer so what did you do when you were having more down days like I described yesterday? Or that never happend to you?

@LordFall I am not too interested in social circle right now, but if I ever am, I know where to find you hehe

@LordFall yeah I think my life is pretty good, but I have days I am just not feeling it, on good days it goes super good, but on days like this it just doesn't seem to pick up. Also I had a good day yesterday, I always feel I have my tougher days after a good day, it is weird like that, I am still trying to figure it out myself and see the patterns. I would say my consistency is good, but my consistency in mood isn't really good as it goes up and down a bit too much.

So I don't use ChatGPT that much, but today I had a good idea. I was reminded of how I felt before and after succeeding in different areas of my life, and I wanted to see what the commonalities were between the mindset that brought me success and the mindset that didn't create my desired outcomes. I wanted to find the common denominator. I'm quite satisfied with this list, so I thought I'd share it here as well: First mindset Second mindset -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Acts Waits or quits Creates value Expects rewards Learns from feedback Takes feedback personally Accepts uncertainty Wants guarantees Keeps generating opportunities Stops creating opportunities Focuses on what can control Focuses on what can't

A friend of mine is now leaving the border of Ukraine and he is going through such headaches. When I left Ukraine it was the same, it is such a headache, being in Ukraine is scary, but what is even scarier is the idea that you will be locked in the country forever. At the border you don't get checked once, but twice and I had to show all my bags, explain everything, because I was the only non-Ukrainian citizen to leave and they thought I might would be a Russian spy or something lol. The border is the main reason I probably won't go back to Ukraine, it is the worst border experience ever and it took atleast 4 hours. Probably for good reason, but still a horrible experience. I was happy to be able to leave the country and you could feel everyone be peaceful again entering the bus after the border. You only know peace after going through all of that and making it out.

I have two questions for you. What do you specifically mean by more shallow shit? Also what do you mean by making better content specifically?

@Meeksauce When I was around 20 or so, I used to feel the same way as you. I was angry at women instead of working on myself. I thought I was doing everything right, I thought that it was the woman's problem. Looking back on it, I was a bit immature. It was easy to feel like a victim instead of taking accountability. It was easy to feel hurt and pain, instead of gaining confidence over time. When you start to understand what works, which is to gain confidence. You start to see that I can either bitch about why woman are not choosing me OR I can actually do something about it and start approaching woman. Also delayed gratification is important, like you might have to work on your confidence for a few years, depending on how bad it is right now. Being angry at woman only helps you to get more angry at woman, it won´t help you get to have good connections with woman. This desperation for woman to acknowledge you will all go away, it is just a question of when you will start to do the actual work. Which is to approach, talk to many woman, learn how to attract woman and not be focused on one single crush, there are much better woman out there then just your crush, trust me.

@Butters I am from the Netherlands myself, I don´t know where you are living, but this isn´t an everyday thing here. You are talking crap or you just have your looks that hook woman, don´t forget the difference between a good looking guy and an average guy, you can´t say the same for someone average-looking.

Coming from the Netherlands, we value direct communication. We are famous for saying things as they are. Whether it is ugly, beautiful, or anything in between, we don't care if we come across as rude, as long as we are honest. Yet I have found this approach to be quite ineffective and, honestly, a bad way to communicate. Imagine if you said everything directly. Instead of hopping on a sales call for an hour or so, you would just have someone tell you in the first minute, "This is the product, this is how much it costs, are you in or not?" It would be an awful way to conduct a sales call. Even calling it a sales call would be too direct; you call it a discovery call, a free coaching session, or whatever. The opposite of the Dutch, who are very direct, are the Brazilians, who are about as indirect as can be. I think that is why many people find them attractive, because they are flowy, go with the flow, and don't say, "BUY THIS NOW." They slowly get to the point. The only problem with being indirect is if you never get to the point. Imagine a sales call that lasted 15 hours before you ever offered your product. That wouldn't be good either, so I guess there is a balance. At some point, you need to get to the point. Another thing I was thinking about was dogs, lol. They don't just hump each other. They sniff, they play, they become friends, and the male dog might try to show off his dominance by barking or whatever. After enough sniffing each other and playing, they go for it. Being social is all about being indirect, in my opinion. The idea that being social is therefore dishonest could also be a question to be raised, because you are basically delaying the actual intention behind why you started the conversation. Now, of course, if you have no agenda in the first place, then it is honest because you are not trying to lead it anywhere. But if you have some form of agenda, which I think every sales call and every conversation with a beautiful girl kind of has, then the more indirect you are, the more, in that sense, you are being dishonest. Yet if you are very direct, this doesn't work well, isn't a good approach, and isn't very social. These are just some thoughts I had today. I thought sharing them would be interesting, and I'd also like to hear what you guys think.

@Leo Gura fair enough lol