Olaf
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Everything posted by Olaf
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@Rishabh R thank you, appreciated
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I am gonna share my heart on here. I want to be more vunerable. I feel that people open up when I do too and I just want to open up about my social life right now. When I think about my social life I feel pain, not because it is bad, but because I can see my potential. I can see where I can be versus where I am at now, which is in a way hopeful, but I am not statisfied with where I am socially speaking. I got a sneak peak into my potential, but not living the reality of it. Which does help with motivation compared to someone who doesn´t see any potential or think anything can grow. I think the pain is the pain of seeing potential, but not living up to that potential. Still I notice stupid things holding me back after all of this time, smaller things, bigger things and a part of me wants to go fuck it mode and the other part of me is more conservative and wants to hold on to certain stupid things. One day I might wake up thinking fuck it, who cares what anyone thinks, lets go! The other day I might be super self-conscious and feel the pain of not living up to my potential. It is like I have one foot on gass and another on break and from day to day I go from break to gass mode, which is much worse probably then going full break or full gass. I feel that the only way I could break this is make a commitment, is commiting to never go back, go full gass, no breaks. Let me know how you feel about this, thank you for listening <3
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@enchanted yes I think sometimes I put too much pressure on myself, which leads to either rushing or stress. It is easy to judge yourself instead of seeing what you are doing right at times. Thank you for reminding me.
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I think Natasha and Leo would be a more logical couple then Natasha and a stage orange dating coach
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@Ulax sounds like a town slut problem hehe
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I need your guys advice, I have a woman falling in love with me and she is a bit younger then me or actually allot, she is like 20, quite pretty, I am 27, I am allot more mature then her and honestly I don´t know if I like her. Like the last 2 days she really started to open up to me and be vulnerable, and I haven´t seen anyone open up to me like this since a long time, talking about her fears about her grandfather that died etc. And I don´t want to lie to her, I am honest to her and said that I am just getting to know her and that I can´t say if I like her romantically yet, but that there is potential. She says she feels safe enough to open her heart to me and that she is scared to love again, but she trusts me. And tells me to please not leave her. I don´t want to play her honestly, like she is a good girl, but I don´t know if you know love can still grow? Like maybe it still can come? I am waiting to fall in love, but maybe my mind thinks that I can get someone better and won't settle, it is weird like that. I am trying to prolong it, but also I feel when I prolong it too long I am making it painful for her. Love is complicated men. Maybe I am taking this all too seriously. I guess I just don't want to lie to her and I haven't lied to her yet, I never told her that I love her or whatever, I told her only that I see potential and would like to get to know her better, which is true.
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@Rishabh R yes I try to keep it transparent
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@Etherial Cat yes I think the getting to know eachother, should be a much longer phase then we think is normal right now. It is like a cat, it first is sniffing you, then coming back and forth and eventually decides to sit on your lap and getting comfortable with you. I don't feel comfortable easily with people, probably big reason is due to my past relationships, but also I want to make sure, are we the right fit? And falling in love is one thing, another thing is if much of your life alligns with eachother aswell. If someone loves football and the other hockey, that is no problem, but if someone is Muslim and you are an atheist or if someone comes from a certain culture and you from another culture, these all can be more serious things that don't always align.
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I think also the idea is like what do you want out of PUA? I never wanted a hook up, for me it always has been either about getting a girlfriend or learning social skills or becoming more confident and challenging myself. Therefor I would rather resonate with something like building state, which is Owens way, then specific techniques to manipulate someone in feeling attracted to me. As state building is about becoming more confident, while these techniques might help you to get laid in a more manipulative way. Don't get me wrong I still do a bit of that too. Last time I called a hot girl, telling her "are you a hot girl with no personality?" I don't know if that is good push/pull, but it was funny cause those were my exact thoughts hahaha.
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@Cubbage yep when you are a nice guy it is basically her seeing you as her bestie, going shopping together lol.
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@hundreth I agree that action is most important, without action all of this is just talk
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Anyways I got to go now, will respond to any other messages later tonight
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@Something Funny are you a girl? I don't think you understand what it means to go up to girls as a men, it isn't easy. I have had many times had girls say "FUCK OFF" and that was when I was starting of course and no longer have that too much, but it isn't easy, you easily can come off the wrong way. And I don't blame woman for this, it just means it isn't easy for men.
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@Zenterus I am not saying Owen is the best, but Leo calling him creepy is going way too far to me, I call guys that don't approach at all or only drink to get laid creepy. Standing there with their beer, busting up the courage to approach, that is more creepy to me then whatever Owen is doing. Also any club promoters or people with good looks cannot be taken seriously, they have huge advantage. Also if a guy is going out there, trying to get results and all he hears is people that are doing PUA to be creepy, that isn't really helping anyone. I was responding to that, not to defend Owen.
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@Natasha Tori Maru I am not here to defend Owen, I am just saying that it is different and has called this out, so he is aware of this. And if he was such an oddball, you wouldn't see him have girls be high responsive to him infield. I paid for his hotseat at home months ago, which is where you see him talking to girls and it is very different then him talking on stage and girls seem to be enjoying him and being around him etc.
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@YIDIRYIDIR appreciate it, thank you
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@Zenterus RSD Jeff and Luke are probably trying to sell their own courses to be fair. How to sell? Bring other people in your niche down especially the top people in it. Happens all the time.
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@Natasha Tori Maru Yes, because he talks about this all the time, that girls don't like to listen to his free tours, that girls tell him to stop talking about it and just have fun, as he is creating his message specifically for men on those free tours. Which means he has a way to speak to an audience of 100 men versus talking to one girl one on one. It is like you talking to a group of girls and lead them and you talking to one men, it is different in the way you communicate.
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@Natasha Tori Maru you probably only have seen his talks where he is talking to men, if you met him talking to you, it would probably be very different. You talk differently to a group of men then talking to a girl, he even says this.
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@YIDIRYIDIR Yes I thought something similar, I feel like I am in so much abundance that it kind of makes woman open up way too quickly, I am not rushing to settle down in fact I enjoy learning about going out and approaching etc. That I am not wanting to commit unless I feel like, this is the one. I literally know her for a week and she is opening up to me like she hasn't opened up to anyone before. Yet because she opens up so quickly it almost gives this pressure on me to make a quick decision and I don't like to be rushed into a quick decision especially around something as big and important as a relationship. Maybe I should tell her that. Tell her that I don't want to rush into a relationship and take my time and if she doesn't want that, that she can find someone else, I don't want to keep her hostage. I think that would be most fair, because then she can decide herself if she wants to give me time or not. Or if she really has this anxious attachment style, then that is also not smart to have a relationship with her, although I feel most woman have some form of that or I just attract them, that could also be possible.
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@Leo Gura I rather would be Owen than a natural, because a natural accidently got success or due to alcohol, which in my opinion is the only thing that can get you in state without learning game, besides drugs, nobody wakes up in a flow state. Another person who would be in state like a natural, would be someone naturally good looking and had woman all around him, because of that. But that is not natural, that is leading with looks. Like a guy with money trying to find gold diggers, but that is leading with looks or money, when they lose those looks or lose the money or become sober, they might have a deeper existential crisis than any other PUA artist.
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@Leo Gura I wouldn´t call Owen a loser or creepy, nor Julien or Jeff. I haven´t also seen any naturals where I come from, mostly what I see is people drinking beer to gain some courage or charisma. The most charismatic guy I know in my city that isn´t into pick up but is an alcoholic, because it brings him in state, just a different state, a drunk state lol.
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I feel that if you are in ego, you want to do everything on your own, yet you can go fast alone, but much faster together. You approach a girl, get rejected, you feel down, then your wingmen is there to pull you up, your coach is there to support you, your mentor, community, support system can either bring eachother down or build eachother up. Imagine if we all hype each other up and get in state. We would do much better then critizising and judging eachother especially when out and approaching, but also in other areas. Not only in approaching, but in business etc. For most areas I have had mentors and people in the community, we lean on eachother and that is important and I start to realise how it is more important then I might have thought before. Like imagine having someone to hype you up next to you, what can't you do? This is the power of community to me, also the problem is that most of the communities do the opposite, bring eachother down and that only leads to a worse hell. Maybe you are not doing wrong, maybe you have the wrong people around you who are there to bring you down rather then to build you up. If you have people pulling you down, it is like swimming against the stream, when you are building yourself up and people around you are there to hype you up, it is easy. The momentum is there and you might get a bit delusional in state, but that doesn't matter, in fact a bit of delusion is necessary. Men always think that logical and technical shit is the most important thing when many times what we need isn't more techniques but people to hype you up, which is emotional. Woman already know this and they do all this "slay queen" whatever shit hahaha and let them do that, but we men sometimes forget that. That we aren't doing bad, we are just in a bad mood and community is the easiest way to get you into a good mood when it is the right community.
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@hundreth This is hilarious, he is so self amusing and people still think looks and money matter. The funniest thing was when he said `when I call you, you have to call me back, because I don´t have money` hahahahaha or `go on a budget friendly date` I wish I was that self-amused when talking, still got some work to do...
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So I approached again today, this time in a small city, which is actually something I recommend trying if you haven't already. In my experience, approaching during the day in small cities has a much more relaxed vibe because you're away from the hectic, fast-paced city, unless you already live in a small city, of course. I live in Amsterdam, so going to a small city feels like visiting a village, and I feel like I'm just going for a walk in the park. Another reason it's good is that girls also seem to be less in a rush and much more receptive, in my experience. They even stumble over their words and laugh when you approach, probably because no one has approached them before in their little city, or because I'm attractive, one of the two, lol. So today, what I noticed was the momentum of confidence. Confidence starts to make me want to take bolder actions. It's not that I have to or force myself to take bolder actions, but I do it because I'm drawn to it. Not super bold actions like the more experienced guys, but, for example, today I approached a girl who had headphones on for the first time. I normally ignore girls with earbuds or headphones on, but I wanted to challenge myself somehow. Another example was a girl sitting at a café drinking coffee. I normally don't go up to someone sitting on a terrace, because I feel it might be inappropriate, but again, I found myself not giving a fuck. This is the momentum that comes with becoming more confident. You just want to challenge yourself for the sake of breaking boundaries or something, confidence makes you bolder. We live in a society with all kinds of rules in our minds, and we tend to adhere to them. But sometimes you should just think, "I see a girl, I want to talk to her, fuck the rules." Now, of course, within reason, but you get what I mean, not always being a polite/good/normal citizen. You want to be bolder. Confidence makes you want to take bolder actions, and who knows how much bolder I'll get. This is probably nothing to some of you more advanced guys who, I guess, would just approach a whole group of ten women or whatever other challenges there are. Actually, anyone struggling with approaching woman, I would recommend day game, it is so much more relaxing than night game as the whole status games in clubs are kinda exhausting as well as the people being drunk etc. I don't like it that much anymore: I might change my mind later, but as of now I am enjoying day game and it feels healthy and enjoyable. Also a good exercise to walk so much, which probably also helps with the flow state, especially in calmer places, like a small city, which makes you feel calm and present. Overall, this was a good day, and I can sleep well knowing that I did what I was supposed to do, and more. Thank you.
