Olaf

@LordFall yep a cool guy is the right word, they don´t want a clown per say or someone who love bombs them, they want someone that is just cool. A cool dude isn´t needy, isn´t really invested in the conversation or invested in her that much, is a bit laid-back and nonchalant, knows when to back off and give her space, has social intelligence. The funny thing is that people will literally notice this. I was out this weekend and I was bored of talking to girls who were too drunk, so together with my wingmen I talked to some guys and halfway through the conversation they said `why are you guys so cool?` that is actually a better compliment than someone saying, you are attractive or good-looking etc.

@something_else Basically your saying, don´t let her chase you, increase your value by social proof. Which means your whole relationship is dependent on other girls wanting you as soon as that is gone, she is gone. This doesn´t sound healthy either.

@Sugarcoat literally a girl with an almost-yelling voice said `I love you!!` behind my back as I walked away after the compliment, aswell as all these girls genuinely being so grateful and expressing their gratitude and be happy when you compliment + walk away. When you compliment and you stay or at least your intention/vibe is to stay, boom, it is completely different. Like now you are giving a compliment to get something, to get some sex or whatever, atleast that is how they see it. That is also why if you are very nice, you are being seen as someone below her, like you are trying to please and simp to get into her bed, instead of her trying to sleep with you (invest into you). And guys who are new to the game have such toxic habits with this. I said to a guy, go approach a woman NOW doesn't matter how, it was his first day approaching: a few mins later he is walking 2 blocks to carry a woman's suitcase. I haven't laughed that hard in a while, he was busy for 10 mins with two big suitcases, hahahahahahahahahaha. See, they either respect you or they use you. Not only girls, GUYS guys use you too, all the time. What about a job? It is basically your boss, the company , using you, because you don't respect yourself. Girls get drinks from nice guys at the bar and then get laid with the guy who doesn't do anything for her and isn't really interested in her, he just has swagger, frame, fun etc.

@LordFall I know you love that game by now hahaha you talk about it 24/7 hahaha

@something_else If you find a woman with self-respect, sure, which is RARE and also who says she can't lose her self-respect again? It is a moment-to-moment thing: one moment of weakness and she is back with the douche. The problem is that I know too many women with too little self-respect, like friends, girl friends from high school who rather go for a guy who lives in Africa who ghosts her for 3 months, flat broke, no future whatsoever, doesn't show up on her birthday or for christmas when he promised to. Then a guy that is showing interest and ready to settle down in the Netherlands (my country). Is it healthy? Is it good? that is a whole other question to what they respond to. She wasn't even allowed to go to his home or meet his family. Like red flag after red flag. She is now willing to move to Africa for him. Then you get comfortable, you love her, she is gone, GONE, your too easy. Another girl from high school that the guy she moved countries for was a guy that always criticised her, told her how she was wrong, didn't want to move countries or change any bit, no compromise, complete asshole and gave her a book when they broke up that she should read so she would understand what is wrong with her. Complete douche, she moves countries to be with him and changes her career for him. Btw, she is at least an 8 to you guys standards, into yoga, meditation and pretty. Are there women with exceptions? Surely, count yourself lucky if you find one. In the meantime, this is the reality. I know from my own relationships the moments I started loving the girl more and more and showing more and more interest, they either cheated or broke up and stopped respecting me. Do you think narcissists have no girls? They have a ton, they have every girl in town. That is why every girl reports that they were dating a narcissist, do you ever hear a girl saying, "he was showing soooo much love to me that is why I married him". No, they'd rather move COUNTRIES to find someone who isn't interested in them.

@PsychedelicEagle is this some code language? hehe

@Zenterus Of course night game is easier, because people are drunk and having fun and literally are THERE to socialise. During the day you basically bother someone who is either trying to just do some groceries or go to work. That is why evenings work well for day game even tho it is more quiet; people have less things to do and are strolling around. Yet if I think of my future partner, I don´t want her to go to a club, not because she is forbidden to go there lol. But because she wouldn´t fit into my lifestyle, she wouldn´t be drinking alcohol and get wasted, while I am being sober and live a sober lifestyle. The least I expect of her is to do the same. So I don´t take these girls even seriously. I don´t even go out to a club seriously, I just go to have fun and socialise. I never take any girl at night seriously or consider them as a future partner, they are all fun, but not partner-worthy in my opinion. And that is also why they are easier. If you want something special, it is harder to get, aka day game. I have to admit there are terrible places to do daygame; you have to go to the busiest area or a central place in your country where all the train traffic goes to, we have such a spot in the Netherlands and it is a gold mine compared to all the other places in the Netherlands that I tried. My wingmen and I might only get 4 numbers in a session, but it will be more worth it to me, than a club. I want to be more creative with places, I am thinking that festivals might be a super cool place, as those girls seem to be much better than the club girls. I have already tried in supermarkets, shops, bookstores and libraries, all of these are fine places. Also you can literally chat up people sitting at a cafe during the day, I do magic so it is easier for me to chat them up and show a trick. Actually, cafes during the day are an underestimated place to meet girls, they have nothing to do and unless they are in a deep convo, many are open to talk for 15-20 mins or so. Lastly I would say you have to do day game with a wing, you have to. Because you are not gonna be in a social state otherwise; you will have too many breaks in between the approaches. It might takes sometime before you find the girl you want to approach, unless you have very low standards or have a very common type of girl that you are interested in, I still do that in the beginning to build state, but after that I look for what I want. During the night out you can socialise with everyone and don't need a wing per say, I make friends with tons of guys during the night and they literally feel my energy and hug me, high five me, offer me food everything. Because at night it is a fun time and time to go crazy.

Today I realised I might should become a day game coach, first of all, day game makes me feel it is the only place where a men has a real chance of finding a partner that he is worhty of. There are too many night game coaches and honestly I don´t shine there as much as during the day and the `grilfriend` you can get there is not a girlfriend I want to have or even would want to wish on other guys. Today I was a wingmen for a guy who never ever approached before. He came to the city and was so much in his head, he almost didn´t come due to resistance and he told me that he tried to approach a girl before that day and he wasn´t able to approach a girl on his own so he approached a guy. As soon as he came with me, I made him do a push up in a busy square, give some people a box and within only 5 mins he approached his first set of girls that I pushed him to. Then we had a little convo of what he needed and I had empathy with him, because I know how it feels to start, so he told me he thinks he might need just some conversations. So I winged him in some conversations with random guys which made him a bit more in state, then eventually he was ready to approach girls, so I pushed him to approach, he approached 20 girls in total, some of them that I winged him in, but most of them on his own that I pushed him to do. At the end he was fully in state and able to get a girls number. I am a fucking God. Who can say they can get a guy from 0 to getting him in state and getting a girls number, fuck, if I can do this everytime, I should become a day game coach, like honestly it would be perfect for me as I do this anyways, I wingmen anyways all the time, it is what I do, so it would literally be making money doing what I already do. And I am kinda a beginner, not fully but kinda, so I know how it is to start from 0 more then any of the dating coaches who have been 10 years in the game, who are completly insensitive to the vunerable state of these beginners. I know how anxiety cripling it is and how you have to push through, but also be a bit gentle on yourself. The good thing is also that I can get in state quite easily and get them into state therefor much easier aka law of state transference. This would really help out men so much, too many guys who are wanting a partner, but the dating apps just not working for them. It is sad.

@Raze yes I thought so too for a long time, but I am starting to understand deeper aspects of this that would make it much easier for me to coach.

@Ulax yeah I will have to think about it all for a few months, but I think there is real potential.

So this is how my night out is structured most of the time. I go first to a square with a few nightclubs, this is where I will do much of my warm up. As I am in Amsterdam, I cycle to the square and give high fives to people on the way lol. To warm up. Then on the square I approach a girl in the first few mins. This for me is the most important thing, I don´t want to wait longer then 5 mins, just go in the deep directly. After that I will walk around a bit either alone or if my wingman is there already, then with him. I will just do some magic for random people to warm up, wish people a good night or give a compliment to girls and walk away. Now we go to another square and from there I will go a bit deeper, making longer conversations, but not super long yet, like 2 min conversations with mainly girls, but also I talk to guys from time to time, just be careful to not stay too long talking to guys as it is more comfortable, unless it is a mixed set of guys and girls. Now around 2 a clock, this is where I really start to do longer conversations. Also I spend allot of time singing karaoke at the karaoke bar, my secret way to get to feel like a rockstar and be in state lol. I try to go for sets that I want to talk to for a long time aswell, at this point I am so in state that I don´t have to keep approaching so much, so more like quality over quantity at this point. Then I will try to make the conversation as long as I possibly can or as Owen says (at the beginning of the night short and sweet at the end of the night burn it to the ground) the idea is that you then close, get a number or whatever. And at this point I was making the mistake that I thought intimidating sets are not approachable, but you will be suprised how kind girls are when you are in state, these intimidating sets of 8s, 9s or even 10s, become way less intimidating and they are actually very friendly even more so then maybe the more unattractive girls who gets approached a million times a night. At that point I try to talk to everyone as mystery does it, at the beginning I used to make the mistake of not befriending the friends and only talk with the girl I am intrested in. If you befriend everyone you get acceptance of the group and even the other girls will want to make you approach their friend sometimes, for example I had a group of 3 girl yesterday and 5 mins in the conversation one girl said "she wants to be a houswife, do you want her as your housewife?". I said No, because I didn't want to lie hahahahahaha but you get the point. So this is what I would say this is how I structure it, it is much based on the system of Owen, the only difference probably would be that at the end of the night, I am a bit more critical who I want to have a longer conversation with. I don't want to talk 15 mins long to an 18 year old, it seems very uninteresting to me to have a conversation with them for that long, I rather go for a bit older woman who have more life experience and have something to talk about like 24 or 25, something like that. Now nightgame for me is not about finding my soulmate lol, I mean it could happen, but for me it is just about having a ton of fun and more about having the ability to talk to attractive woman. Day game I am more serious about closing. I walk around 10 kms every night, I never go to a club, only bars, I always stand outside talking to people in the streets and squares where it is quiet and you don't have to yell over the music.

You can either ask or you can demand. Socialising is much like sales. You have to sell them on making them give your number. The best salesmen know that asking too much or asking even for a sale "do you want to buy it?" is not how you sell. You convince that your product is amazing and that they should have it, by being assertive, not being a beggar nice guy. "can I please have your number?" No be assertive "I just like you, want to go on a date with you, lets exchange numbers" that is much better. You are leading. Same with them disrespecting you, don't let them disrespect you, you demand respect, you don't let yourself live like a small person, live expanded. Expand yourself and become who you really are which is masculine, bold, going for what you want and not asking for permission, you convince others by your power/assertiveness, that is self respect, it is not being an asshole, it is self-respect, which is just not letting people treat you badly.

@MuadDib you were never part of the thread how can you leave if you were never in it?

@Joseph Maynor yes you are trying to create a moment for them, it is not about your skill, those stand separate from being a good performer

So as some of you know I am a performer and what I realized is that performing is much the same as social skills. Number one is to get peoples attention, if you got their attention, you basically have to make them interested. This could be either by a story you are telling, something funny, something valuable, something fun, even a vibe, like if you are just a vibe, people feel the value of you instantly. Don't rely on your art yet, the art is just a cover up, the art should become way less important, like a musician, magician, dancer, that shouldn't be the focus yet at this point, it should just be that you got peoples attention and they can see value before you even have done something. It is not about flexing your skills, it is about creating a moment, a vibe, making people either laugh or be interested in you besides your tricks and music or dancing or magic skills etc. So in mystery's method this is both a1 and a2, attention, plus making them attracted/intrested in you by the time you can see people are intrested not just in the tricks, but in YOU, you should be able to do a good show with just flipping a water bottle, the tricks are not what make a good show, it is the moment you create, it is literally YOU, you are the artist, you are the vibe, you are the energy. Now after you got them through a1 and a2, which means you both got their attention and interest, now you come to a3 which is qualifying. This is where they have to invest into you. Now in performing that means participating and being under your control. Crowd control is very important here, you need everyone to do what you say, like a dictator. A dictator has the control and the followers are jumping up and down, because he says so. The only difference is that instead of being super controlling, you want to keep the fun with the control. So the control is to only bring more joy and fun, it is a positive type of control, not the negative one where you become OCD about every little thing someone does. So good audience participations are making people scream, yell, answer your questions like ask a question to an audience. "who came here because their wife forced them?" or any funny question. A good show is you being in control putting in 10% effort being in flow state and everyone putting in 90% effort in trying to get your approval and invest into you. Basically you being gru and everyone being the minions jumping up and down. A good example would be to watch a big DJ, he does a bit of jumping, but mostly asks people like "what? I can't heaarrr yoouu!!" and everyone has to jump, dance, go crazy. We only value what we invest in, so they start to value you and are seen as the leader/high value. You have to remain control which is the hardest, to balance both fun and control. Try to perform one time with doing only 1 or 2 things, and just stretching the whole time, you will realise, ooohhh I am putting way too much emphasis on my skills versus the vibe and making people invest into what moment I am creating. So to conclude or summarise, beginning of the show attention and interest (story telling, funny, showing your personality, have fun, be a vibe) the second part of the show is interest + investment (a bit of tricks and making them clap, cheer, answer questions, make them proof yourself to you aswell as control what they do) last part is one big thing + 90% investment (here there is one big thing you do, but doesn't have to be big, it just has to feel big, can even be a funny end with a build up + most emphasis on them investing into you and participating EVERYONE has to participate and call them out if they don't, be a dictator)

@Ulax well your outcome could simply be to say hi, I don't have an outcome in mind everytime, I sometimes even chat up guys, just chit chatting no outcome.

So I notice that everyone has some "type" of woman that they are attracted to. I have multiple wingmen and the first thing I do with them is finding out what their type is, so I am asking them, do you find her attractive or her? Then eventually I get more of a taste for what their type is. For example, by pure coincidence, I realised that all the woman my wingmen showed me were more on the intellectual/intelligent type. So I realised he couldn't hold a conversation for more then a minute with some girl he wasn't interested in, but as soon as it was his type, he would be able to hold a conversation for 10-20 mins. That is why it is important to discover your type in my opinion. So now we go to bookstores and libraries and we realise that those are the perfect places for him to approach lol. Now the other wingman has more a type of a certain ethnicity, so every time I see someone he would fall for, I push him to approach. My own type of woman that I fall for are more expressive in the way they dress and present themself, an example would probably be festival girls, who dress very expressively. For example, I saw this girl with super baggy trousers and glitter make up around her eyes. Even tho I normally hate baggy pants, she was really expressive in the way she presented herself, which caught my attention and interest. For example girls that paint their hair red or something like that, also show that fire and expressiveness. Now you can be more superficial, saying I like girls that have curls, which I actually do, I love long curly hair. Or of a certain type of face, but I think what is more important is to understand what kind of person it is. Meaning, does she go to a festival, is she intelligent, where is she likely to hang out? For example the library, cinema or a festival etc. For example, if you want festival girls, what are you doing in a mall? Well that is what I am asking myself lol, I probably should go to festivals. You get the point, you have a certain type, everyone has and surely there will be people that are not your type and you would still want a relationship with, but in general it would be smarter to find out your type and approach them or even better find out where they would be likely to go to, and approach girls there. it is harder to find out your type yourself, but with someone helping you, you can figure it out in 1 to 2 days, the idea is just to be honest to yourself and not be too fixated on what other people like or what is mainstream: simply what would be a girl that you would like to talk to and feel interested in. You might fall for very superficial girls and then that is also fine you can go to more superficial places, it isn't about what is good or bad, more about what makes you feel interested, which is unique to everyone.

@Ulax what is your point?

@Joseph Maynor well the dictator was just the best image I could think of like, Gru and all his minions, that is what a good performer is like. Everyone cheering or participating and you doing very little.

@Ulax of course you want some outcome eventually, but don´t approach with the outcome for that day/week/month your building a skillset that helps you eventually, not directly. Today just as a warm up I gave compliments and even the difference between having the outcome to have a long conversation versus a small warm up interaction, their responses were completly different, everytime during that approach they were so thankful, compared to when I approach with outcome focused of having a longer conversation, so keep that in mind, one girl even said "I love you" after the first compliment, you make someones day, not everything is about your outcome eventually anyways.

@Joseph Maynor clairify give and take, because it can mean many things. Dictator doesn´t mean you need to be harsh, it means more like you are a leader not a follower.

@oOo just take action instead of writing these long posts it really isn´t that complicated, you could have approached 10 people in the time of writing this post.

@something_else Thats fine, I still go out, but I don´t think I want a club girl as my next relationship, that is just my personal preference. If you are looking for one night stands that might be a different story. During the day the girls are anyways more attractive to me as they are not on alcohol or any substance, which makes it harder of course, but I don´t like drunk people too much as I am sober myself, it can be a bit of a turn off.

@Inliytened1 yes I think I said this already, I seem to like festival girls the most or atleast girls that are expressive in their presentation of themself (red coloured hair or expressive make up/clothes etc.)

@oOo trust me, talking to yourself will not make you good at social skills. If it was that easy everyone would have what they wanted. Social skills is hard to learn, but worth it and takes guts and action. Something many people don't have in the spiritual niche.