Sirius

@Blissout Yeah hi.I am not disciplined enough to keep my states.Although i've worked this meditation out very well and know how to do it i always quit.

@cirkussmile Yes buddy, I am my own guru.You are very true.But i lack discipline.I've done lots of work on myself lately.I was so much worse than that. I have ups and downs all day long.I am not stable.I havent slept for months.I can keep pushing but I'll fall again.That's my nature.Sometimes I am too weak, sometimes really strong.I can meditate and purge in munites but the next day I am the same. I really dont know if i can make it alone.I should give it time of course, but I am very confused and tired already.My body has taken lots of damage.If i really go into detail you'll be shocked.Again, i am confused as fuck.

@Erlend K hi I do internal energetic work called bioenergetics which has saved my life but this is not yoga.forget about it. The thing here is whenever i do this routine i get angry and i act a little weird.I dunno bro, maybe i should stop it. take a look.

I cant go on full detail, my mind doesnt work so well right now.I've been sleepless for about a week but i was thinking of posting this.Maybe someone could offer me some advice/info. I'm a weird dude, since childhood.I have OCD for many years although i dont consider it a disorder just like doctors say.I'm fucked up in many ways to be honest and lately,since i got deeper into my meditation and more conscious i started experiencing multiple personalities.I cannot take decissions, i change my mind all the time.Mood swings also are CRAZY.I think its both my mind and my meditations.I am pretty sure i dont have a mental illness but it's very weird. I believe its consciousness fluctuating up and down chaning my behaviour, along with myself taking many forms. Anybody's opinion? Thank you.

@Phrae My friend, i truly understand how you feel.Even me, right now replying to your post , i understand that i go uncoscious doing wordly stuff. How many times i've thought of just leaving everything behind.I am also so concerned about my posture.I've tried very hard to be aware of myself and the world around me but whenever i make it to some extent i always keep getting sucked into the rabbithole.

Right brother.Authenticity.That's how you flow.

how up?It happens to me also, but i dont think it matters.

@Torkys I know exactly how this feels.I have experienced it myself.It was a little spontaneous.I was deep breathing in order to relax the muscular tension of my body when suddenly it felt like POP...everything collapsed kinda of.Alot of my Ego went away, not all of it but alot.At first i had no idea what the hell happened.I felt totally relaxed and more conscious than ever.I felt my intelligence rising to the roof.I had an answer for everything kind of .It lasted for about an hour.You can also call it the flow state.Thats how it felt for me. But, i never really understood what EXACTLY happened.It was great though.I went for a walk, it lasted about an hour,until my ego drifted me back without noticing.I was a newb back then.

Has anyone practised Jangama Dhyana Meditation? https://www.youtube.com/user/SRBYMission/featured https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jangama_dhyana

I always meditate on a chair.Of course i maintain a good posture.I got good results like this. You guys are right, whatever makes you comfortable is best.I used to force myself into crosslegged postition to the point of pain, which was distracting me of course. I'll keep up on the chair.I've set it up on a nice height, adjusting myself well.

Does it really make a difference whether we meditate on a chair, or on the ground crosslegged or lotus? I've heard from some Gurus that posture does not make a difference.

I found the subject very interesting.Knowing who you were is incredible. I was wondering, is it possible i was reicarnated from another planet to earth for the first time?This came up to me yesterday as i was looking to the moon and the stars.Space always used to fascinate me since i was a little child.Aliens also, i was sure that aliens exist.I didnt need any proof, i just felt they do.Many of them. Does it take to get deep into meditation to remember your past life/lives?Anyone here done it?Any help would be great.

@Rilles Good point yeah, ive thought of this also.Makes sense

@tyler7415 Sometimes i am very confused.Well, most times. I try not being very judgemental.I know we are all fucked up on our own ways.But only through awareness we can truly observe and know ourselves. Each mind is different, and works in different ways.

@Outer I have no idea.

@Outer It affects everyone.I've heard that we basically come back to another body when we leave this one , for unifinished business and to learn more.I dont know how it works exactly, although many people claim they do and they're also describing the process. The subject is really wide, i havent read much.Havent you ever heard about past lives?

@abrakamowse Awareness is key .We take many forms and shapes throughout our day.

@CGeo My friend, the breath has saved my life.The breath and the mind are connected. Breathe deep on your own.Practise it, slowly in the beggining.The lung will expand with time. You will find out how to do it on your own.

@Prabhaker Interesting man.I knew i can become enlightened by the breath.I've had an awakening a month ago, just by breathing deep.

I've decided i want to become a Yogi.I want to follow their path.I'm all about cleansing my system, healing my body and mind.My suffering will never come to an end if i dont achieve a clean state. How can i find one of these guys? Anybody has a clue?Thanks.

@pluto You're right man.I dont believe what they say to me.I just need time to clear the mind.

@daniel695 My friend, i dont know how severe your psychosis is but I am against any medicine they offer for mental "disorders". Personally, i am a weird form of OC without the fucking D and they offered me many times antidepressants and all these kind of bullshit.Psychologists and psychiatrists offer no help to anybody.They make things worse y telling you that you are not "normal".There is not normal, nor good nor bad.All these are labels.There just IS.Maybe we can never treat our problems fully, or maybe we can.But DEFINATELY medicine makes things worse. I suggest you work on your diet, sleep, addictions and general lifestyle.Go run and train.Take care of your body and meditate as much as you can.Accept yourself and have faith because everything will be okay.You will heal.Just stay away from these doctors

I tried this, as much as i could and i felt like everyone would tear me apart very easily.I felt very vaunerable to the society.

@Nahm Well i suppose you are sleeping like this for a very long time, so its very hard for your body to adapt to a different posture. I believe that if you really wanna change it, you'll have to force yourself stay on your back and with time the body will adapt.But prepare, you will have many sleepless nights until you make it, if you do so.Such changes are hard.Patience.

@Principium Nexus Good luck bro, its gonna be tough at first.See what works best for you.