moon777light

and how do you do this, during psychedelic trips as an intention? I feel like off psychedelics its near impossible

TODAY: meditation morning: 5 minutes Midday: 30 minutes TOdays was more grueling, in fact i had the same song repeat over and over in my head, and words "mentally retarded" kept popping up. I have a deep fear of being seen as really stupid since as a kid i was called this as a joke. So i guess its surfacing. Also i have a deep fear of having a child that is mentally retarded. I know i know **gasp** how could you say that. Idk i just have that fear. Head hurt as well during meditation. In the middle i got a nice window of concentration on breath with no thoughts but a different song started repeating in my head and the end my head hurt even more. But after the session i feel more motivated and less attracted to procrastination.

@Nahm thank you for the detailed answer i wonder what the medical paradigm would look like if this was implemented. Barely anyone would be sick

first of all....wow, i am so grateful to be alive, the world is so magnificent. Thats probably the word to summarize all of my trip and life. MAGNIFICENT!!! Just thinking about it now i want to cry. Thank you so much for this forum and for actualized who introduced me to this part of life. Humbled SETTING: in my living room, on the couch. Trip sitter nearby. 6pm. DOSE/METHOD: My initial plan was 1 gram. I lemon tekked 1g, but in the middle of the trip i ate the rest (+0.5g), so total 1.5g MUSIC: Playlist of Ori soundtrack, journey soundtrack, and star wars music ~ Oh my goodness i dont know where to begin. I am bad at writing in general, let alone something as incredible as what happened. First, i meditated 15 minutes as prep before, didnt do much, i was too jittery and nervous. i drank the lemon tek, put my headphones on, put my sleeping mask on, and waited. I started getting very impatient, nearly 40 minutes passed and nothing. No visuals, no weird feelings, nothing. I was convinced i am intolerant to shrooms. I dont exactly remember how, but the "visions" started. I hid underneath my blanket. The She led me. She showed me. I dont know who She is, all i know its a She. I remember seeing me as a super old woman, a crone, i had silver hair so long it reached passed my knees. I died. I was curled up in a fetus position and saw other faceless humans bury my into the ground, slowly as the dirt was thrown ontop of me, everything turned dark. Silence, nothing. Then all of a sudden...New Life!!!! I felt light as a feather, i moved, and just rose from the ground, zooming up up into the air!!! Later there was another vision where i was looking at a face and the skeleton was aligned, it rested its head on its hand all took its last breath, and passed, i knew exactly the moment it passed, and when that happened, geometrical shapes arose from it and flowed on, to something else, i dont know what, It just felt like a "force" a liveing force, that connects all of us and gives us life. Then horror, i saw skeletons upon skeletons, human and other animals, all floating in gross swampy green thick water, slowly trudging downstream. Some steam was rising from it. It was pure death. It looked like a warning as to whats going to happen to our planet, what we are doing to poor Mother Earth. I felt such deep sadness for all those lost, all the life gone... Then i remember looking at the blanket underneath and suddenly i saw a tiny eye. I was staring at this creature that was looking at me, and i couldnt believe how incredible it is that i, an entity, am observing another, and that other entity is observing me!!! It was so crazy, that there are 2 of us. just looking at each other. It seems weird but i cannot explain how beautiful it felt, such connection. I also looked at my hand a few times. The first time i saw my hand get all wrinkly, age rapidly, and thought, this is supposed to happen! this is Nature, Life! We are supposed to get wrinkly and pass on! Its all a part of the process!!! I felt like i had an a-ha! moment. ANother time i looked at my hand, i saw all the animals of the world, i saw a bear, and the bear ate the fish, then i saw schools of fish swimming, then a big cat, probably a puma or something, just all these animals of the world, changing, shifting into other beings, knowing its all connected, its all part of some big picture. I felt such lovingness and connection to nature....all i wanted to do was become some sort of National Geographic explorer going into these beautiful habitats and showing it to the world, to not forget this, to not forget this is US, this is what we came form, and this is what we will return to. WOw it was so magnificent. i love the Earth. At one moment i asked her whats do i do, and i kept hearing over and over again "You must follow your OWN path" THis was repeated what felt like 10 times. I still dont know what this exactly means, i mean it feels so generic. I asked for my purpose and she said im not ready for that yet..which sounds a little scary to me haha That was before the animals that i saw. I looked at my face in the mirror and aw it turn into a scary cat/dragon demon and was for a moment terrified but then i thought how can i be scared of myself??? I also heard woman chanting over and over, like a tribe, even though i know it wasnt part of the soundstrack i had on. ^^^This all above was the main part, the visions part. Later ensued 2 hours of my crying really really hard about how life is so beautiful and i am so grateful for everyone in it and for me to have this experience on Earth. Everything has a purpose, everything is sacred. It was Magnificent. As i walked around i felt how amazing it is to move, its like i discovered my human body for the first time! I was laughing with pure joy several times as well. The trip lasted very long, 8 hours, i tried to go to sleep at midnight but couldnt fall asleep until 2am because i was still "tripping". Which reminds me that i need to take shrooms much earlier, like a day where i am completely free. When i slept i had strange nightmares though. I also felt headache in the come down, almost hangover feeling that sucked. Overall thats the main stuff i can remember. The main bits. There is so much more, but i cant remember it all right now and i feel very sleepy haha. THANK YOU TO ALL FOR THIS! Thanks for actualized.org and @Leo Gura for introducing psychedelics to me! this is incredible and so beautiful and so MAGNIFICENT!!!!!

ohhh i heard thats a real good series. are you going to skip the 4th one?

i just finished conversations with god book 1, and its probably one of my favorite books i ever read, its on par with scultpor in the sky. I now dont know if i should start book 2 or take time to digest allllll of book 1, because its ALOT

@Anna1 that is incrediblee and im so happy for you i thought you were 21 in your picture!!

30 minutes done today, 10 minutes in morning, as well will before sleep. Yesterday i only meditated 2 min in morning because i was still recovering from psychedelic trip Day before yesterday, meditated 5 min in morning, and 15min before psychedelic trip, i wanted to do 30 but i couldnt because i was too jittery During the last 7ish min of the 30 min meditation today i felt my third eye chakra, right in between my brows it was vibrating intensely. Moments like this give me inspiration, motivation, and hope. I mean daangg this is all REAL. All of this chakra stuff, spiritual stuff. Its gives it foundation. A few minutes after i was finished it continued to vibrate, slowly lessening. Session went well, 2 times my mind got distracted into stories and i brought attention back to the breath. For what it feels like is the millionth time, i am utterly amazed at "The Mind Illuminated" system. 10/10. 100/10. I am still integrating my trip. One thing i noticed, is that i stopped picking my lips. Not naturally, not just like that. But everytime i raise my hand to pick my lips or even begin to rip the skin, i remember what i felt during my trip "why would i want to harm myself??? why would i ever want to do that??" this is a habit i have had literally since i was 4 years old. In moments of stress and worry, even in the most miniscule amount, i pick my lips for comfort. During meditation session i also felt such a deep desire to do it. And then i felt the pain around my heart, a heaviness in my heart, quite possibly the source of that urge to pick my lips. I said im sorry to the pain and i recognize it, i feel you pain. It slowly faded away. This is only 2 days after my trip, so i dont want to start celebrating now, but if this habit is truly broken, a habit that lasted almost my entire life from early childhood...then wow. Also the urge to put off meditation is always so heavy and big. Im doing it but because im pushing myself. I reallly need to get to my head how crucial it is to silence my mind. After my meditation sessions i feel incredible, and would want to do more, but before, before its so hard. I Must look for motivation and inspiration outside myself for thats the best way to overcome procrastination. There. Just as i typed that last sentence, i felt the urge to pick my lips, and felt the pain around my heart. Before my trip i only felt the urge, then i did it. Now always next to urge arises the heaviness in my heart. Its as if my heart has been ever so slightly opened. Bless this.

@Bazooka Jesus oh thats a relief to hear haha i was worried that the stronger the trip the worse it is to recover lol. Its so strange, its like i can feel my brain is rewiring, like i forgot how to react to things, i started getting tired of overthinking, and i just feel...different.

i know this is directed toward mindcentral, but what advice do you have on this?

@Consilience ah it makes a bit more sense now i am so excited for future adventures As for day after feels, i feel so incredibly fatigued, tired and have pressure in my head. But i read its kinda normal? Since serotonin gets depleted during the trip, it makes sense for me to feel like crap

@Bazooka Jesus @cetus56 its ok guyz thanks for advice! @Nahm thank you!! @Consilience uu thats a good question but how to become conscious of structure? as an intention?

@Leo Gura thank you for the advice how do i get about doing this? Reading nondual philosophy and meditation? And for contemplating questions, is it better to devote one trip for one question, example focus one whole trip on "what is love?" or to contemplate multiple questions? How do i contemplate this on trips, is it like asking the question or meditating upon it? i never thought about it like that, i guess it really shows how we create our own reality, and how all that new age stuff like law of attraction truly works

i agree with this SO MUCH. I was 6 months severly ill, barely had the enrgy to walk, extreme chronic fatigue, had trouble reading, you get the jist. Looking back i knew it was my body screaming for help, for me to take care of it, to start living properly. It wasnt until i started actually living and interacting with the world that i started to get back to my regular self. By the way, Ken Wilber, has a debilitating disease and meditates everyday intesnely. I think on one of his blog posts he writes about it. But yeah, hes a good example that you CAN DO IT! He continues to write books and have profound ideas ontop of being chronically ill, so i would look to him as an inspiration. Just dont label your self, because it tends to be a self-fufilling prophecy. It sounds corny and overused but give it a chance. Sending much love <3

"ANYTHING WORTH DOING, IS WORTH DOING BADLY FIRST" Meditated 10 minutes first thing in morning, 30 minutes afternoon, and yet to do few minutes before sleep vry soon I LOVED MY 30 MIN SESSION! the middle of the session i completely fell off course into daydream land and successfully pulled myself back together into focus mode. I had very good focus for that time and now am able to to focus on sensations of the breath for a few min without thoughts dragging my attention away. Makes me remember why i am doing all this hard work, its so worth it and i feel so happy right now I also studied the "5 hindrances of meditation" in the TMI book 1.)Worldly Desire 2.)Aversion 3.)Laziness and Lethargy 4.)Agitation due to remorse and worry 5.)Doubt I managed to observe them without reacting immediatley during my meditation session and i think that definitely aided in having such good focus at the beginning and end. ALso today i managed to observe thoughts of jealousy that rose inside me, specifically to not being pretty enough/people around me getting more attention than me and observing the envy and anger arise. Of course i still got carried away with the emotions, but being able to see what happened is the first step to overcoming it/integrating it. Ever since i had my first "official" holotropic experience i now know this is my shadow side reacting, and i know its gripped onto me very very tightly and its very scared and reactive. Breathe, Just...Breathe

boy i didnt update this in a long time. 2020 Breathe. Just....Breathe. No more slacking around. I know what my mistake is when i put myself to do new habits. I knew it since forever yet i was scared to admit it for some reason. Thought continueing the msitake it just might work once, even though my mind already knows the answer. Thats putting way too much on plate. Too many eggs in my basket. Every single time, ever since middle school, literally hahha I write list okay im going to meditate, eat healthy, exercise, read all these books, practice art, be an amazing student, progress spiritually...... SO for 2020 i have a different plan. Instead of wiriting a list of resolutions on January 1st and trying to do them all at once, im going to give a resolution per month. Let it have a snowball effect and roll deliciously into a slowly transformed routine. January will be my rest month ironically. February starts the first GOAL. I actually alreayd started it, to give myself ahead time, and thats meditation. I keep weaving in and out of my meditation, i make progress, PALPABLE progress and then.....whooosh, slip back into my old habits. I see a journal on here where someone comitted to a hour a day. That inspired me too. I have my TMI meditation book and plan to study the material on a weekly basis along meditation. I'll never forget the 65 core principles of life video where leo said 'if your not meditating at least an hour a day... what are you doing with your life?" yeah. My end goal in this year to meditate every day for 1 hour at least but i need to get there in steps. Im already aclimatized to 20 min so my goal for Febuary is to meditate daily for 30 minutes!!! Ive been on track for the last week or so. I also always meditate 2-5 minutes first thing in the morning and last thing before i go to sleep. It gives me more of a peace of mind. Already my mind is jumping forward, wanting to list what to do next, but this time i will not indulge those thoughts and just observe the impulse from a distance. FOr January i read "conversations with god book 1" AMAZING BOOK!!!! TOdays 30 min session was good, i kept dancing between distracting thoughts and getting in the flow of the breath. I also noticed how my mind isnt used to 30 min because around 20 min mark my concentration ability deteriorated a lot and lots of day dreaming happened. I am doing my very first psychedelic session soon wish me luck

@Gneh Onebar i had visuals like the youtube video i posted above, really distinct, and looked so similar to those patterns. Also saw some hallucinations but very discreet. As for memories, no childhoods memories appeared, even though i heard its common. I used to do it alone at home, but this group setting with a therapist was so much more intense and uncovered a lot.

wow, all i can say is wowww, what an experience. I did this in a group setting, with one facilitator/therapist and us. I was extremmmmeeellly anxious and stiff, not just because of doing the session but meeting new people. We all had tea served before the session to relax and the therapist explained the process/peoples experieince/whats happens and that everything is allowed, to not feel inhibited at any time. Then we started. My analytical mind just started raging like what if this doesnt work, what if other people purge but you dont, etc. I continued and around 15 min mark(?) i started feeling tingling everyyywhere, but especially my hands, they clasped together in that weird ball and people usually do during holotripic breathing...then..then started the yelling. I started letting out just bursts of yelling and feelt anger rise up everywhere, thrashing my limbs sometimes, just anger. There was also a battle going on between the logical/analytical mind and the emotional mind. MY logical kept popping in saying "wow im doing this" or "jezzus what osund is that guy producing" lol, and i had to try my harrrrdest to just opn up and let go, let the experience engulf me. I was spitting out so muh and coughing, INtense coughing that came from the depths of my lungs, same intensity as when one pukes. I started making crying noises and grimaces, n tears came out. im not sure how muhc this all lasted because you get carried away in the experience. Then a time of peacefulness and lovingness washed over me and all i could think about is how much i love life. Then a huge wave of fear, and again screaming, but this time in fear. Its sounds scary, but it feels so good to let all that shit out. After that, pretty much everyone calmed down, stopped the intense breathing, and we were all chilling. The facilitator started playing crystal singing bowls and i started seeing the coolest patterns in my eyes, and which each different singing bowl hit, the pattern changed!!! They looked EXACTLY like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvJAgrUBF4w AFter that blissfulness, it was quiet and i could feel the therapist ringing an instrument on top of each one of us. That also put me into a trance-like state where i met my painbody. It was incredible. I actually felt motionally the pain body that is responsible for my anxiety, my fear, my judgements, my envy, and all that. The Shadow Self. And not only that, i actually saw the face of this shadow self, and i accepted her and loved her and i could feel how she hugged my body and almost as if she went inside , engulfing me, like how it looks in movies when ghosts pass through someone. I then realized how much my mind is actually in "shadow mode" literally ALL THE TIME. I also felt how slowly after we got ourselves together, sat up and talked about the experience, how it slowly creeped back in, taking over my thinking, filling my thinking with stories and negative thoughts. But since i was more aware of it, i could see it more for what it is, and how easier it is to get through that blockade. Overall AMAZING experience and showed me myself haha also i never felt more relaxed in my life by the end of the session <3 Its also a great prepatory session for my psychdelic experience, which i plan to do, and i firsthand now see how important it is to not be afraid of the fear coming up, and instead to invite it in and embrace it. To let go, and enjoy the ride. Much love to all yall <3

i was about to skip clicking this bc of the title and im so glad i didnt, i think i found a new favorite yt channel, thx man!

i just finished it and all i can say is omgg, its truly one of my favorite shows made and really gives you food for thought yea that would be amazing i just went on a rollercoaster of feelings, one second i thought "OMG the messiah?", then another "wow hes such a fake, fraud", then the next "omg hes a genius" haha now im really interested how the next season is going to play out with the world knowing what, well, what they know haha no spoilers

@Aaron p i finished ep 7 and things are getting crazyy

WATCH THE MESSIAH!

you guys are skipping one of the most common and dangerous causes: Mold exposure. Look up Dr. jess and mold toxicity/exposure.

This is pertaining to the latest video blog (miracle awakening) where you mentioned you wont be reading anymore books, does that mean the booklist wont expand anymore? @Leo Gura

@Jed Vassallo no, but my favorite books/most profound teachings on the list are mostly the ones he added on the latest update (5/25 i think?) @LfcCharlie4 @Girzo yea true