28 cm unbuffed

@Mikael89 Maybe it will help you somehow, good luck brah

❤️

is anything bad happening, or you are just unmotivated because there are no measurable results?

all i want is hoes, big booty hoes ~Notorious B.I.G

yeah, i feel ya mate right now i'm in a place when i have broken heart and slowly i'm coming to a point of "not feeeling anything anymore" not like - i'm so alpha, that i'm not going to feel anything, fuck them, more like - i felt so much hurt in my life that nothing can hurt me anymore, i'm a fucking robot at that point to be honest - i have no idea how to help you here - i'm pretty much stuck in the same place as you looking for someone to get hurt again? fuck that looking for some meaningless relationships based on fucking / drinking / smoking weed? fuck that staying alone till the end of my life? fuck that, but that's the best answer i can come up with right now keep yourself busy with doing something meaningful with your life, trying not to think about this shit? - hmm... i think that's the best answer right now too we all know that the best answer is always: "focus on yourself and the right person will come when it's time", but it's not that easy in real life, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom and get hurt like a motherfucker to understand that you come to a point of : fuck that bitch, fuck everyone, i'm going my own way (not - "i'm going to show them!" way, more like- i'm done with this shit, i really gotta focus on myself and really fuck everyone else) if anyone else got any tips / opinions about this topic i will be glad to listen, i'm really fucking drowning here and my man Max is drowning too i think

what do you mean by brain visions and why did you insert buddha cat video and hello

what a great topic - debating about answering a question that only Leo knows answer for <slow_clap>

try doing leo's life purpose course to at least find out your values if you are going to "chase money just to chase money" it's going to be a lot harder, unless being rich/having money/creating business is one of your values and something that drives you f.e - if you care about animals - start a bussiness that cares about animals or invest in one if not and you only want to make money - find the fastest/easiest way to make money

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt08101850/ Have any of you watched this? I'm so mindfucked after watching it. It's like - me and my friend had a though - is it possible, that our life since our heroic psylocybin trip is just a dream and we will wake up one day? There is something i gotta do 2 days from now and it's so fucked up, I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do this. And that's what these series are about - breaking circles, time travels and Groundhog Day. Please, I really need a fucking help, I'm losing my mind.

@Nahm shit, i got it

i have no idea what the fuck are you talking about, both of you tango down ~Cpt Price, Call of Duty

I'm a motherfucking Heyoka empath. I always do the opposite to achieve things, by mirroring people. This time I think I have to say all of the things I think about this girl (that she is a slut, etc.), just because he thought these things too, just to trigger him. It will make him enraged, because I think he is still jealous of her / loves her and he will admit that he started this gossip. This way I will not get pulled into her narcissistic game and get to know the truth at the same time. Thank you God for answers and guidance

Basically - should I move on and focus on improving myself or get involved in problems and emotional drama? Like I said - staying in "hero" mode vs going into "magician" mode and focusing on myself and my life?

Because all of this relationship was trauma based from the start. It wasn't going smooth, I experienced lots of suffering, but that's because this is the only kind of love I knew - my mother is an abusive nacrissist too who was feeding of me my whole life. I developed this sufferer-narcissist (Jesus-like) personality, just to survive that abuse. And there is also this one thing - from the start, where I was maybe like 5 - I was rejecting all of true love offers towards me and sabotaging myself. Maybe it changes your perception somehow.

But as I mentioned - she fears to talk to him and things are 100% clear between me and him. So, that might be just a narcissistic way to make me do whatever she wants me to do. That's why I'm fucking confused.

I think she has some narcissistic personality disorder, based on fear of course. She wanted us to "talk to each other", because she "felt we didn't clear things out", where he doesn't give a fuck and moved on with his life. I think it was her fear and guilt that stopped her from talking to him and being with me. The gossip is that "she was having sex with dudes for money" while being with him. And I'm sure he started this gossip. Also, she told me "I don't have sex without love". But after I denied to fight him she blocked me everywhere and I had this strange experience: i woke up from a dream. I FELT like she is experiencing orgasm with some other dude and that opened my solar plexus chakra and started my dark night of the soul experience / shadow integration. So the question is - is she really a slut or did she do it, because she knew my biggest fear was to get cheated on (which is basically my karma and subconciously I'm creating a reality where I get cheated on or I don't even want to engage on a girl out of fear of that). Also - by being a nacrissist I think she has to compensate herself the fact that I didn't engage on her, because I felt something is wrong and she was lying about meeting other guy and she is fucking dude I know, who is money/sex/lower self oriented guy (like I mentioned in some other topic - she is my personal Mary Magdalene). My intuition is showing me a situation where I find out that she is fucking with him, I vomit when I find out and hear them having sex (that's my strong childhood trauma, where my parents were having sex next to me and I woke up paralized out of fear) and I'm crushing her ego, exposing her true nature. But I have no idea why this friend of mine/her ex doesn't want to admit that he started this gossip - what might be his agenda? The only thing that comes to my mind is that she promised him that she will fuck with him if he will keep that for himself.

What you mean? Should I fight him or not?

So, basically, there is gossip going around about this chick, and I think my friend started it, but he doesn't want to admit it. I think I gotta beat it out from him. But I'm not sure if that's not just "hero" mentality and I would love to go beyond that, into "magician" vibration. And I think this chick wants us to fight each other, because she is very manipulative and narcissistic and she wants to get me pulled into this shit. How can I tell the difference? What is the main thing I should focus on to decide if I should do it or not?

So, I've got this stange jealousy issue and I have no idea what it means. In my mind there is this loop scenario - that a girl that I love, will cheat on me with my best friend. That's an ego projection - and that's why I want to have sex with her best friend. I had this strange issue with my ex-girlfriend - just before we were about to get together, I got drunk and kissed with her best friend on a party. I understand that it is fear based mechanism, that when I will sleep with her best friend, I will somehow "show her", that I'm able to do anything and she shouldn't mess with me or try to cheat on me. But again - maybe that's the shadow and something I got to do? I'm really interested about that, because right now I'm going through dark night of the soul and a lot of bipolar thoughts are on my mind, what makes it even more confusing.

@Preety_India Thank you, i just got like 10 epithanies this morning about what my karmic circle is all about. Thank you all for help. So: (maybe it will help someone) - I was with a girl 3 days ago, we kissed, we touched each other and I started to finger her. I didn't feel anything towards her, but still - intuition told me I should do it. After some time of me fingering her she told something like - "I'm not good with emotions" and that was it. Next day I went and asked her: "ok, so - what do we do with all of that?". She was just like "dunno, nothing". And that moment I felt like energy was drained from me and i realised that I got used. She was walking around the house pridefully and I noticed that immediately. That situation helped me realise how all of this works: everytime you are having an orgasm or draining sexual energy from somebody, eventually you will get your karma. It's like a law of physics. How do I know that? I talked to this girl again yesterday and words she used were like messages from her subconciouss that she feels guilty, like: "i have to smoke", "i went to Mc Donalds today", "I like little guilty pleasures" etc. So - me and this girl, that I called my Twin Flame got the same karmic pattern - I was sleeping with a girl I didn't love and she was sleeping with a guy she didn't love - we both felt guilty, that we are using them, so (sneaky ego mechanism) - we used them more, out of guilt of course. After some time of doing that, my mind went completely bananas and basically I became a fucked up human being and I really had to work hard on myself to fix all of that shit. And now all of that guilt and shame got her - "demonic possesion" you may call it, but let's just say it's degragation of the mind, frying your mind with electrical signal by orgasm, not out of love, but out of guilt. The more guilt you put your mind to, the more guilty you will feel and act out of it. So to sum things up - my ex used me, I apologised to her and she forgave me. Some time after I felt a need to comment her photo with something funny and she tried to shame me for that. I didn't react (cause fuck guilt, right? It was for just for fun). She deleted me from my friends list and I was like - wtf, why would you do that, you tried to use me again and your sneaky plan didn't work? And now I have to get the truth out of my Twin Flames' ex - did they have sex out of love, or was he just using her - and that's the Lion King vs Scar fight I was mentioning in other post. It all makes perfect sense.

@Sombra Dunno about her, but I'm not on antidepressants, I actually quitted smoking due to all of this situation, it was killing me more then helping and it was somehow "blocking the channel" between root and heart chakra. I never was in love with a chick. With a girl before her i almost did the same shit, before even knowing her, so it's not out of love, more of out of lust / fear of being alone.

In this topic: I wrote about some kind of "demon" that is waking up inside of me and that wants to take over control. First I thought it's something bad, but I went with all this dark night of the soul / awakening / shadow integration work and I realised the thing I have to do is to love it fully. So, as @mandyjw noticed - Goddess Kali is me. There is really great karmic circle that is about to end soon and that I will write about. So - friend of mine, was on a trip with this girl and she told him, that nothing can happen between them and he is basically just sitting home and playing computer games since then (like 2+ years). Now, after Mercury : Retrograde he became furious and he feels like killing her, just to find out what really happened. This girl I think, really wants to be with this other guy, which doesn't give a fuck about her and prefers to fuck young girls. I think the friend of mine is there to show him what love really means, I mean, the "brutal nature of love". Second part, which includes me and this girl i mentioned - I think she went into "shame vibration mode", became a dirty whore/slut/Mary Magdalene, because her ex, friend of mine was using her, just for sex and she was too good of a person to tell him "no". All this time she was telling me, that they didn't have sex for like 2 years and that she doesn't have sex without love. And all this time she was giving me signs, that something is wrong between me and him and we have to end that "something". That's why I wrote about Lion King fighting Scar in topic above - I think he is a personalisation of my shadow - being good and having a huge heart, but only when it serves him. So - that realisation led me to awaken Kali within me too, just like my friend and this girl. I feel this strong lust for blood, to kill, just for justice, just to save her. It's some kind of Brahma - Vishnu - Shiva dynamic between three of us.

So, basically, what I found out is that when I feel suffering about something, let's say - i suffer, because I think it's bad that she has to go through all of that - I'm wrong and that's rooted deeply in guilt. I feel guilty and what I need to do is to find out the root cause "wrong thought" of that guilt. That's what I got for now, any help would be great, really need to help her.

@mandyjw So, basically, you are telling me to get out there and have tons of sex?

@mandyjw Yeah, I know that. Twin Flames are basically two parts of the same soul and my lust is something i have to heal and integrate by balancing my emotions. But still - I have no idea, what is the best way to go about that. P.S This morning I had this strange feeling like - it's all me - I want to cheat on myself, I don't trust myself, I want to fight myself, etc. It may be spiritual awakening / nonduality stuff opening in me.