28 cm unbuffed

@Nahm I started to create website with Squarespace, I'm just not sure if that's going to work for me in a long run. Like @Vipassana said - I want to have a great amount of creative freedom. @Arzola I tried Wordpress today. You're right about falling into the trap of choosing the best tool - but what if I'll choose bad one and then I'll have to redo whole process from scratch. Right now Wordpress seems like the best option, because of, as I mentioned, creative freedom that it provides. I'll give a Squarespace a second change though, what I need is freedom to rewrite the plugins code to suit my needs and got to check if that's possible with their products.

Your friend is on a stage in his life, where he developed a spiritual ego. Nothing really matters, materialist paradigm is wrong and evil, society is wrong - telling yourself everything, just not to act, not to do something productive with your life, not to move your ass and get yourself out there. It's a stage and it's a very tricky one - I've been there. I knew this term, I understood how it works, yet, I was still watching videos all day, not taking any action, mentally masturbating. To actually reach a point, where you are somehow a blank slate, you cleared your karma is a very hard thing to do. Only when you'll reach ground zero, you will understand how much more work is there to do and how little you really knew about yourself, society and self-development.

Let her go, move on. I had similar kind of situation, where i was dating this sadistic girl, that was in love with me, but when i told her to tell me whole truth about something, she got mad and did some nasty stuff to me (had sex with other guy, but we were not together, so I can't call it cheating technically). The fact that you see beauty in all of this is because she did it out of love for you. But it's not that she was consciously saying to herself: "I love him so much, that I will fuck other guy, just so he can move on". It's more like lion eating the weakest gazzele, so that the other gazzels can learn to defend themselves better next time - kind of love. Brutal nature of love. You are very wise, that you can see beauty in all of this, that requires a lot of emotional intelligence, compassion and undestanding. When you'll meet the girl of your dreams there will be no doubts, there will be no second guessing, no forum posts. It's like finding your life purpose / passion - nobody has to tell you to do this / do that, you just know - this is it and you want to go in 100%, no matter what. You don't need to do pros / cons list or analize any of that - you feel so much fire inside of you, that you don't have to think about all of that. You just do, you just act, like in a "Limitless" movie. There will be only proper action that will drive you forward.

@Useless folk what was the reasoning in your mind that told you to have sex with her?

@TrynaBeTurquoise Great advices dude, thanks a lot for these.

@StarStruck Nice ego masturbation from you, thanks for sharing this useless information with us lol.

@LfcCharlie4 I just start with washing myself in hot water and then slowly I decrease temperature to cold (so one round).

I watched a video from Aaron Abke one day and he mentions two ways of development - path of love (feminine energy) and path of wisdom (masculine energy). Path of love is more drastic and faster, where path of wisdom is a slower one. As Aaron mentions in one of his videos, Osho is "a corrupted guru", he chose full wisdom path, he spent all his life reading books, fucking spiritual bitches. But that's just an idea I got from a Youtube video, I don't know the full story. The fact is - when you look into Osho's eyes - he looks like he is dead inside to me.

@LfcCharlie4 About cold showers - I'm doing hot shower to cold shower thing every morning, that has some kind of "alchemical" benefits for your body as I read somewhere. Wim Hof breathing is great, balancing your breathing helps you balance your hormones / emotions / energy in a great way, Ps. right now, also, when I feel stressed, exhausted after a hard day I do hot baths in the evening - same kind of benefits for your body as sauna - releases a lot of tension, highly recommend that routine.

@universe Fuck me, that's a hard question. I remember, when @Nahm asked me the same kind of question about women and being vulnerable and then I said "yeah God, do whatever you gotta do" - and then something traumatic happened, that changed me forever. And I feel right now you are doing the same thing to me (as a @universe and as a Universe lol) and fuck it, I'm saying yes again. That's going to be one hell of a ride..

I'm an adult alcoholic child. My reptilian brain is pretty strong and I need to provide a lot of safety for it, otherwise it sees threat everywhere and I'm overthinking everything. I noticed, that when I'm fapping (like 3-4 times a day), which is basically providing a basic, survival, primal need for your reptilian brain, I do not think that much, I'm more creative and I'm a lot more confident. But I want to have the same shit without fapping and need some advices how can I do it. Things that I'm already doing / planning to do: - changing city to a smaller, safer, calmer one, from a big city that I live in right now, - wearing caps (sometimes even in home) or a hoodies (that makes reptilian brain feel more safe, when your head is somehow "protected"), - listening to rap music (primitive vibes, that's why a lot of black people are into making money and music - deeply rooted survival need for safety) - planning to get more financial stability, get passive income big enough, that I will not have to worry about money, like ever, - getting better with women, so I can always be sure, that I can just go outside and pick up a girl in a club, if I will want to bust a nut, or just finding a girlfriend. For now masturbation is enough, but it depletes me from my energy and I don't fucking know, how much of it I have, if right now, when I'm masturbating and when I just feel "safe" I'm productive as motherfucker.

@LfcCharlie4 Really great informations, it requires a lot of studying to simplify the knowledge to the tips that you presented in this topic, but these are actually like on point things to do, I have to 100% admit with you here. I studied tons of materials and I will follow the same things in 2020. One thing I would add to the list, that I'm doing myself are breathing exercises - Wim Hof breathing every morning and cold showers. Tons of health benefits from these two as well. Happy new year!

@Cykaaaa Yeah, gotcha with that. There is a quote I read somewhere, that "when you see a love in a girls eye, it is a reflection - meaning, that you love yourself". And I got this kind of moment, with a really hot chick. What I mean by that - I love myself, that's for sure, but there is a lot of stuff I still do not "like about myself", if that makes any sense. I have problems with my self-esteem too (f.e I'm too scared to approach random girl on a street), or I don't like how my nose looks etc., and I still want to work on these issues. And, like you said - you have to work on yourself first, to be able to love others and share love to Self, or at least that's how I understand that. Like - when you are full of love, it just has to get out from you, to spread towards others.

@Cykaaaa I thinks it's working on both the same time. Because the Self, the other people in your life, the whole are also you - the self. Let's say you hate a girl, because she cheated on you. When you spend time on hating her, you hate yourself that way, because you prefer to spend time on hating her, then moving on and doing something for yourself. Does it make sense?

@Nahm Gotcha. Another example - let's say some girl on a street is really pretty and I want to talk to her, but I'm too scared to do that. Is it that, I love being safe and lonely, more then taking risk? Or I do not love myself enough and because of that I think I do not deserve to have a girlfriend? Basically - it's like asking "what the heck is fear"?

@Nahm Isn't that dangerous - doing anything, that I want to? How to set up safe boundries to that rule? There always has to be thinking involved, to not get too close to the fire, right? Like, let's say - I feel horny as hell right now - fuck it, let's get a hooker. But I might get an STD like that. Where's love in all of that? (I know, it's a silly question, but your reasoning seems silly too, or maybe I don't get it fully)

It's all about having self respect (self-love in other words). Man who loves himself will not get involved / stay in a relationship that brings him more hurt than joy. It's also about creating boundries from the start, telling what you want and what you do not accept from a woman, without a fear or getting rejected / misunderstood / whatever. Girl will either accept you as you are or will tell you her boundries and it's up to you, if you are willing to do what she wants from you or not - and vice versa. When you get hurt enough times you will understand - it's not always about "being good" or "giving" all the time. Because not all people are like that. There are people that will be fucking happy as hell, that they found someone who they can drain from energy and use them for their own good (aka narcissists aka energy vampires). Read about shadow work, get better boundries, always think about yourself first (healthy egoitism) and keep going, keep trying, keep failing. Eventually you'll learn and grow. Good luck. (Not sure how it really relates to your story, I'm still going through mine and I'm kind of self-biased writing that)

@Raphael Yeah, I thought about it - I even used it in a past, I think you just answered my question Thank you!

@Vipassana Fuck me, I was programming in a past, but are you for real - you are really telling me, that it's better to write my own website from scratch, then it is to use something like Squarespace for example?

@Vipassana I did shrooms, like 3-4 times already, 12g once. Planning on taking LSD once or twice next month - 2 months and then microdosing for 3 months to half of a year. @universe Good question, but as I mentioned - it may be connected to me being adult alcoholic child and I'm subconciously seeing a threat everywhere. The more safe I feel, the more productive I am and the less I'm thinking - did you even read my post?

@Arcangelo +1

@Justine how about smaller dosages or microdosing? after my heroic 12g psylocybin trip i developed fast as motherfucker but also that was very drastic time in my life, too much, too fast, but i reached spiritual awakening in 2 years thanks to that i'm thinking about tripping on a regular dose of lsd and then microdosing for half a year, so that's my advice - do the same

So, basically I met 2 people last couple of months, that I want to talk about. First one is a girl, that I was hanging out with - she seems like a good person and she is a good person, as long, as it suits her. I remember, that I told her something, that could help her friend (that I saw her husband snoring coke) and that she cannot tell her just now, because he's gonna find out, that I'm the rat. She didn't give a fuck and told her right away, to get all of the glory for herself. She was also lying to me about not having sex for a longest time and that she only has sex with someone she loves. I didn't believe that (and I know she loves me) and she couldn't resist her lust and had sex with some other guy. Second person is my aunt. She wanted to help me and my mother to move to another city, I thought it's because she had hard past and now she wants to help us to get our lifes together too. But when I was high one day I felt this "evil" energy from her. After some time things got complicated and my aunt decided that my mother is out of equation and she wants just me to change the city (they had a fight). She also created a beautiful story, about how my mother lied to me about one fact about my father to make me play for her team. And right now I think, she did this just for me to be there, as a financial backup for her. Story is not that important, more important fact is - I know i pull these people to my life, because they are "parts of me". My question is - are they "healthy" parts of me - my shadow? For a longest time now, I wasn't like that - I was "too good", I was thinking about other people needs before myself (mostly because I'm an adult alcoholic child and I had no boundries at all, just to get any attention and validation). My question is - are these traits good and should I keep them? Where do you draw the line? I mean - when is shadow healthy and when it is unhealthy and how to determine that? Should you always try to "act good" or sometimes just act selfish?

it's called nofap and if you have sex and do not ejaculate it's called karezza your semen has a lot of creative potential if you preserve it, that's what "celibacy" (not cumming) is for

attracting girls and having sex is like zen - it's all about being here and now so yeah, it does have spiritual value in that sense the more you are here and now during sex and the less you are focusing on cumming, the better you are at having sex and being here and now is basically a form of meditation