Preety_India

I can understand why this paradigm lock is happening. In a stage Orange environment, dating has to be based on desirability, fitness and achievement. A lot of pragmatism A pragmatic paradigm But in a stage Green environment, there is some idealism. A hope for new ways. Breakdown of classist values. Imaginations of pure love. An idealist paradigm. The clash is obvious between the two Both can be understood and integrated however.

Ahhh. Now I got what you were trying to do.

My lovey dovey type nature also does not contradict love.

@Shunyata it doesn't matter whatever you think of it. It's just a beautiful experience.

@Shunyata there's something called as twin flame. Two hearts that beat as one.

@Shunyata I already experienced my Romeo and Juliet of my life. It's a one in a million experience. This love needs to be experienced at least once in a person's lifetime. Now I feel fulfilled. I don't feel the need to look for romantic love anymore. I can still look for conscious partners to settle with but none of them will ever come any closer to the relationship I already experienced. It's a treasure, an elixir of the soul. Your thirst is quenched. Once you drink that elixir, there are no more deserts to walk through. You're not desperate for love anymore. You can still enjoy people and relationships, but that eternal love is already fulfilled in the spirit.

@Shunyata I'm not talking about some true spiritual sentient love. There is also a form of true everlasting love talked about in romantic circles. It's called unconditional romantic love. It's called unconditional or deep love because it's based on a deep connection between lovers and irrespective of external factors.. This love survives throughout life. For example you could have a spouse who contracts cancer. You continue to love them the same way forever even if their appearance or activity has changed Same goes for aging. The man continues to love the woman even if she has aged. He doesn't abandon her for a hotter woman. The woman does not stop loving the man just because he got older or less interesting. She loves him despite his failing health or aging. That's called binding love, loyal love or unconditional love.. This love I have experienced already from my side. It's difficult to get another person to get to love you the same way.. But once you get that person who loves you the way you love them, then it's a relationship like no other. It's deeply fulfilling and rewarding.. Most people don't get the chance to experience such love.. You could say Romeo and Juliet is one such example.. However such love needs a lot of sacrifice and selflessness. PUA communities aren't going to teach you how to be selfless. They are going to teach you the opposite which is maximization of opportunity.

Thanks guy. I like you too.

@Leo Gura then why don't you stress enough on deep mutual connection that lovers can feel for each other Why do you narrow it down to sexual value? I can be your daughter and say I want to marry a homeless man, would you tell me not to? What if I love this homeless man?

@Thestarguitarist14 it doesn't matter. The idea is more important than the validation

I don't agree with your paradigm In your opinion that person is a pig. But for that person, they are wonderful and attractive. You forget this My paradigm is totally different than yours. You focus too much on sexual value type of dating. The pua type of dating. And I'm not convinced by that. My paradigm is about unconditional love for someone irrelevant of external factors like attractiveness. What matters is integrity and loyalty. And these qualities have nothing to do with a person's appearance. A person can be beautiful or attractive and yet loyal and faithful. I'm not looking to sleep with a 100 pua guys.. I am happy with one man for the rest of my life with whom I feel a deep connection, whether he is attractive or not. You make it look like an attraction game with some inherent rules. Sorry but I disagree with you. Love can exist in many forms and it doesn't have to be how you say it.. And no. If a man that I want to be with, maybe ugly in your eyes, but I won't call him a pig. He is still handsome in my eyes.. That's how unconditional love works. It's a more conscious form of love because it does not look for validation of external factors. I'm okay if you disagree. But I no longer agree with your dating philosophy. That's not my thing.. My thing is unconditional love, It's okay if you arrive at it through pickup, the means are not important. But the end goal is unconditional love, at least for me.. It will be good to see if you are ready to accept my perspective.

You have fulfilled the objective of this thread. Thank you. I started this thread with the very intention to create awareness about unconditional love. Deep loyal love. And to show how conscious and beautiful and healthy it can be. And it is completely different from all this pua, sexual value based dating setup. It has nothing to do with attracting people but more about establishing high value relationships with a person and fulfilling lifelong commitment through an admirable level of loyalty and integrity. It's called true love. It can stand the test of time and it waits for nothing. It may appear idealistic to some people on this thread.. But that's not my burden to prove I have felt it and I believe in it. Finish

@Thestarguitarist14 no I didn't. Testing is something more Much more than simple attraction.

@Thestarguitarist14 Romantic love can exist even without dating. You can love someone absolutely and intuitively and and love them without all external factors and this is unconditional love.. I have given unconditional love before and I can still give it in the future. Sir you have a wrong idea on unconditional love. It does exist and I have experienced it. And not everyone is capable of it but some are. And not all dating is based on sexual value. This is just one paradigm and it's a paradigm lock. Try to broaden your perspective please.

This is exactly why I started this thread. Totally agree How come nobody on this thread understands unconditional love? I have fallen in love with a broke guy. I cared for nothing. His money or status or anything.. So am I wrong?? I fell in love with him. I felt an intuitive deep connection with him. I wanted him and only him.. I never thought about his sexual value . I transcended his looks or money or status only because I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. There was no game or sexual value there. It's sad how we are supposed to automatically believe that dating is this game like a contest to get high level contestant. I don't care how someone on this thread judges me. This was the main purpose of this thread.. I believe in unconditional love. I don't believe in all this dating rubbish and pua player nonsense. .

You have taken words out of my mouth. This is exactly what I wanted to say. I always want to look for integrity in relationships Without integrity, to me that relationship = death. I have a very high need for integrity because I'm equally upfront in showing my loyalty and integrity to the person. So I expect the same in return. Often times attraction is not so much about looks. But qualities. I might get attracted to a guy but obviously I want him to have integrity. Same for a good man. He wants a beautiful girl, but a girl with integrity. Wanting an attractive partner does not mean that you have to compromise on values by default. I can want an attractive man and also want him to be loyal, especially because I'm also loyal to him. It's simply asking for fairness in relationships. People here are making it seem like if you want an attractive person, somehow get ready to be mistreated or dumped or it's some kind of a privilege only available to the select few. I have seen so many couples where one person is so attractive and the other isn't. It's because they want to be together. They aren't playing games. They are simply respecting each other and being loyal to each other. Wasn't falling in love supposed to be about unconditional love and acceptance?

Walls are building Trees are exploding Vaccines are coming No need of masks

@tuckerwphotography I agree.

I still feel like I haven't tested men. So I feel a bit weird about myself. Feels like I'm not even a woman. But I'll begin testing men. It's super important, I can see how important it is to test men. I was too naive not to do that and fell in all sorts of unwanted relationships.. I need to reprogram my Brain on how I respond to men. Maybe I'm too gullible.. But I'm sick of it how I easily let some man have me. So yea I will need some sturdy boundary building work to do to not let any kind of man in my life just because he love bombed me I need to outgrow that lovesick puppy phase..

@tuckerwphotography most greens aren't fake. But only some are for political reasons, meaning for identity politics, to get votes and impress people. Generally greens are genuine but you can have some phony ones entering the protest rally.

This advice is awesome. Yes I have trouble receiving and no trouble giving. So I'm trying to control my giving nature a bit. I can be too giving which has become a problem for me in my life I understand that kindness is important and somewhere my catholic upbringing is very responsible for this. I was raised in a catholic church surrounded by very giving kind catholic nuns. We would be made to feel very guilty if we didn't do charitable acts. It was like a norm to give but not expect to receive. It was just a moral code I was raised with. That's why I never really appreciated the receiving thing. I always felt a bit selfish for receiving. I'm trying to work on reversing my psychology where I can say "no" when I feel uncomfortable and not have to excessively guilt for myself for saying no.. Also I want to raise barriers and not feel guilty about raising barriers.. I'm trying to be a bit selfish which I have to forcefully do since the guilt factor prevents me from thinking of myself first. Maybe this is also the cause of me getting into relationships with low quality men because I feel guilty to reject them. It's just the feeling like I'm doing something wrong if a man wants me by rejecting him So now I need to work harder to say no to a man no matter how much ever he love bombs me.. Having barriers will help me to exclude men who are the types who tend to use women Thanks for the advice, it was awesome, cleared up a lot of my doubts.

@vizual you think a lot like me lol. Aha. This is the first time I met a person on the forum who actually thinks exactly like me. Big surprise to me. But I'm glad..

@ColeMC01 appreciate your response.

You basically laid out almost all the problems I have faced in my past relationships. And you did a great job at pointing out the challenges that women face. I have been with a guy who committed and then again cheated.. That shit is the toughest to deal with. It's so easy to completely overlook the issues that women come across in dating.

@ColeMC01 good guys like you are rare..most men after a woman aren't that way. They are aggressive at pursuing a woman. If I had met a good guy, I wouldn't have a problem. Most guys pretend like they are good guys and after that the true colors begin to show, like a year later.. It's not so easy.