Preety_India

Accept that they don't accept your opinion.. Accept their rejection.

This is not true. I can be in love with some homeless guy. He doesn't need to do shit for me. I can love him simply because I'm his friend. You want some high quality person, some person to fulfill your criteria, that's why you want to do pickup. Because you don't want the average girl. But that's fine. There is no moral high ground here. Attraction is not always necessary. I'm talking about connection, you're talking about attraction.. That's why the paradigm lock It's okay if I don't want a guy to work for his future. Everything is not survival for me. People fall in love in all sorts of ways. Go figure. For some monks it's possible to live without food, or at least very little food, they can starve their biological cravings. I can starve my biological attraction cravings and love a man despite me not being attracted to him. It's a form of transcendental love. I'm not saying that you understand my thought or agree with me.

This line is so beautiful. Yes why not. Suffering can bring huge shifts in consciousness, sometimes the levels that even enlightened gurus might not have experienced after deep practice. Whatever road you take, the soul needs to be awakened. That's the key. It doesn't matter how you reach this transcendence in life. It's always waiting for you anyway. Beautiful lines When a prostitute was stoned, Jesus said He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. There is such value in this sentiment. We judge others. Yet we don't judge our own judgement. Love can exist where it is made to exist, without boundaries, without conditions and without judgment.

@Raphael Thank you so so so much.. You made my day. I was looking for someone to understand the question and you did a wonderful job of answering it the best way.. That's what I wanted..

@Thestarguitarist14 I laid down all of my beliefs. There are others who also agree with me. I'm happy I found agreement and they brought out my perspective even more beautifully. I don't expect you to bend for me. You can live with your perspective but I want room for mine.

@DrewNows good fodder for me to chew on I can see how you think about this.

Absolutely not. People live like that. Even in the West. It's just that nobody discusses it because your society is too bamboozled with pickup ideology. So there's a thick fog that's hard to clear. There are lots of dating styles. Not everything is based on pickup. Pickup is not the Holy grail for dating. Don't think of it as fantasy. People who are deep into spirituality practice this kind of love. Although you don't understand because you're not within them. You are not inside my mind to understand me. So you'll find it difficult to see how it can happen. But I don't expect you to conceive my ideas. Just don't persist in resisting so much.

@DrewNows can you elaborate further, It flew over my head like a cuckoo.

@Thestarguitarist14 that's okay. It is still a perspective nevertheless. Some people like to follow it. Someone like Eckhart will follow it. I don't expect you to understand or follow it. Just accept it that's all

Now look.. This dating forum needs to be open minded to all forms of dating and relationship styles. It shouldn't be limited to the type that pua communities always talk about. We're in a Paradigm lock here. And a bit of open mindedness on the part of the debaters will help I and @vizual and @Etherial Cat are able to grasp this paradigm and can see the other paradigm very well. I understand that for others it's tough to understand this because they don't look at the world the way we do. Nevertheless, try to be open minded to accept how others think. Accept all forms of dating styles. Understand that all dating styles don't have the same agenda as you might want to believe. We're not to be belittled just because we hold different beliefs about dating. Dating beliefs and styles can very widely and they all should be accommodated on this forum. I understand that you all debaters think that pickup is conscious. But some people don't look at pickup the way you do. This is a paradigm lock. And it's okay. People can have diametrically opposite perspectives. I'm not saying someone is right or wrong. But just have the open mindedness to accept other's views.

Yes. These people won't get it. They will shoot it down as bs.

@Thestarguitarist14 Yea I live in India. Our culture of dating is little different from the west. In many ways.. We don't believe in dating We don't even have such a word.

@vizual it's just that them and us have a paradigm lock. That's all. They don't get it because they don't feel like we do That's understandable.

@vizual Exactly exactly exactly

Super great advice. Thank you. Yes I kinda see it narrowing down

It's not just all about attraction as it is made to appear. Its also about values The love can last even if the attraction is faded. Love is a virtue independent of attraction. Of course much of dating is meant for best case survival but not everyone cares about survival all the time. We love someone because we have developed a friendship with them for some time and that connection blossoms into love.. When the human brain produces strong chemicals of bonding with a person, their looks and external factors are thrown out the window and you just want that person and nothing else. It's like soul bonding. All of this has nothing to do with dating strategies. All those high value creation dating techniques are fine within an Orange stage paradigm But at a certain point, you can transcend that for a soulmate. Such people can have lifetime relationships and they are more likely to look at pickup as very unconscious because they won't like the survival factor of it. It's like being versus shopping What I'm talking about is being and loving and asking nothing. Except that you don't want to be hurt. The relationship exists within an ambit of rules to preserve its sanity. Whereas all this stage orange dating is nothing but shopping. I don't believe in this type of dating. It can be conscious for those who look at it from a survival point.. But deep down I don't believe this. I believe it's possible for two people to simply find each other and be together transcending the rules of survival. That's true love I'm going to put effort into conscious dating. Not this type of dating. It looks very unconscious to me

What survival?

You have to be ruthless at both. They are two way.

@Parththakkar12 ok

My beliefs were " maybe this guy really loves me, I should not reject him, that's cruel. How can I reject his love. I'm not being gentle to him. He deserves my love if he loves me."

That would be an ideal life for me. But I understand what you're trying to say. To live free of the idea of something controlling something.

Yea, I get it that a love bird has to comprehend the ruthlessness of the world. After all we live in reality. I was building castles in the air. You showed me what a gust of wind can do to them. There's some excessive green in me. In order to ground myself I'll need to combine both Green and Orange to strike a balance I'm looking forward to "zero emotional stress relationships."

You could literally question anything and everything.. Your mind is in a constant state of flux. It changes rapidly through states of consciousness. What you believe today, you may no longer believe tomorrow.. The point is everything is a perspective. But the real magic lies in looking at a prism through all angles If you could see why every perspective makes sense, then you have unlocked the key to higher understanding aka the big picture

That's the recipe for life.