Preety_India

I've been emotionally bleeding.

This is absolutely the most ridiculous thing that is happening. And how in the world are these people going to be made to feel responsible towards their civil society? Is this going to get even worse?

Can you explain me how and why people in your country have begun to dislike democracy? Something doesn't feel right.

To release your inner shadows it's also important to Inner wounds. Inner trauma.. Inner child. Inner victim. What do you judge or how do you judge or who do you judge. What are you resisting. Cognitive Biases. I was also contemplating about self limiting beliefs.

Whether you're allowing that experience to come or you're halting that experience. That depends on you. How aware you are Now you need negative experience but in short doses and they should happen quickly so that you have fast growth. Now I was thinking about this necklace example and tying it to abundant mindset. It's not just about boundaries and barriers and filters and walls. But also standards. What sort of a person are you ready to settle with?

Karmic level means your desires and whatever you believe in The diving board at high awareness level.

Awareness level Karmic level. Insecurity level Shadow level

Need to do more research here.

Need to start working on this goal

What's with the "you're a beta male t-shirt?" these people take things too far.

@lmfao yes absolutely. Here I've seen if I walk into a store and the salesman keeps praising the product and if it appears over the top, it's usually because the product is bad and nobody wants it. So they try to market it as the best product. Same with people. I've noticed that when someone praises me excessively or a super friendly person, later I find out that they are backstabbing me or they were absolutely fake and they did everything with an agenda. So much that if someone in my neighborhood praises me now, I try to avoid that person next time. I remember my manager or boss at my first job throwing a big party for my work performance. I was thrilled. I thought he was a wonderful person. 3 months later the police were looking for him because he had scammed many people of their investments. My second and third ex boyfriends used to praise me excessively. Like almost everyday. Within a year I saw their abusive behavior and I broke up with them. Now if a guy excessively praised me that would be an instant red flag. What I found from my observations is that people who engage in such behaviors are very selfish and they do this because they're looking for something in return. They want that person to praise them back. It's not coming from a place of sincerity. Sincere people don't like to praise so much. We call it buttering up. People who do this, it's either out of fear or out of the need to please in order to get some benefit in return like keeping a person in a relationship. The best people in my life were those that were very objective, honest, upfront, and to the point. Such people don't manipulate, they say what they feel, they were the most sincere people and they never hurt me. They don't do all this complimenting nonsense. They are just themselves and they don't try to butter up. Just plain and simple and they speak logic, facts and truth and don't try to emotionally manipulate or emotionally blackmail. These are the best people. They are always polite but they don't show extra affection or excessive praising or flattery.

You have mistaken attraction for the term asshole. Abusive behavior is never attractive. The problem with the asshole stereotype is that they come with a bunch of attraction qualities. Like being funny or physically stronger. You might have observed this with women as well. Some women might be horribly abusive but they could be hot and sexy and cute. There is an attraction to the qualities of "hot", "sexy" etc but there is no attraction to the abusive behavior. Such people are hard to resist. Because they have attractive traits but their behavior ruins the relationship. The same with men. It's not about taking it too far. Some of the assholes I was describing earlier also have the standard attraction qualities like good looks, charm, funny and sexy. I'll give my own example. The abusive ex boyfriend I had, of course I wasn't attracted to him because he was an asshole but because he was very funny, good in bed, extremely handsome. I didn't know he was an asshole until later. But he definitely had those attraction qualities. I left the relationship because of his abusive behavior. See? Attraction is needed in the beginning. But behavior matters as well. Women aren't hard wired to like an abusive guy. They're simply hard wired to like an attractive guy. But unfortunately a lot of abusive men carry attraction qualities and lot of good men don't have this qualities. This is just the unfairness of nature. There are good women who aren't born to look hot. There are bad women who might have the best genetics. Nature is not always fair But if a guy is good as well as attractive then it's the best combination. Here the solution can be - a good man can work on his attraction qualities, maybe improve his looks, physique or see how he can be a bit funny and charming. Work on those areas. Similarly a woman who is good can work on her beauty and sexiness and or intelligence or other things that her man wants in her.

@AtmoShark maybe you should stay in your own lane and stop constantly objecting me. I was discussing with the other guy.. Whether you think that I'm right or wrong, just leave me alone and stick to your own opinions.

This is so true. Something that people should always watch out for.

That's because they don't put a lot of effort in approaching. So the women also give up. Now I don't want to say this but this applies to both gender. If these guys you're talking about are kind and caring but boring then it's not gonna work. Because the human mind works on attraction, both male and female Will you like a woman who is the fattest woman in the world no matter how good she is? The answer is a plain no. Because attraction is necessary along with values.. So a woman also has a set of traits in her mind that she considers attractive In a guy. Most men find a beautiful woman attractive right? So also women have their own expectations of attraction from men. There is no unfairness here. Women like handsome, young, smart, talented, strongly built, funny, romantic, flirtatious men. So if the kind and caring men that you described above are lacking in the attraction qualities then sorry that's not gonna work. The woman won't like an ugly looking dude no matter how caring he is. She can't be blamed. The same goes for a man also. So dating is a combination of both attraction qualities and values.

@Danioover9000 what? You have to make everything all about me. That's why I avoid you on the forum. But you don't avoid me. See? You have a strong bias against me maybe because I'm from India.. No idea about that though but not my bother. Leo criticizes Trump heavily on the forum. Why don't you call out Leo and say he has a shadow too? Because he is Leo right?? A person doesn't need to have a shadow in order to criticize someone for their bad actions or words. Yes I criticize Trump and I have every right to do so.. You don't know shit about me. I have already lived in America.. My ex boyfriend lives there.y current boyfriend is also American. My whole family lives in America. My mom is constantly traveling every few month to America to meet my family. My entire family lives in America except for my mom. I myself frequently visit America and will have to do so for the rest of my life because most of my family is there and 1 member is in India. My family are permanent citizens of America. So yes whatever happens in America directly impacts my family and me. In fact any rules made by the American administration will directly impact how my whole family lives I have also worked in America and had a relationship there and not to mention my friends and relatives who live there apart from my family Now America is a second home to me and so it is to millions and millions of immigrant families who are lives are shared across the border This is not just my situation alone. Most of my friends also have their families in America. This has become a common scenario for many Indian families. And we focus on American politics deeply because it directly impacts our lives.. Okay!!!!!!!?? Now coming to the shadow part. I am not pasting anything on Trump. I only criticize him. Yes it can be harsh but negative criticism is always harsh Whatever I've said about Trump, Trump has already proved it himself. You're right that I come from a male dominated society in India where the local government does not act democratic at all. So there is every reason for me to believe that something similar can happen in the US with Trump and his authoritarianism. Now this has got nothing to do with Trump being male, as you're trying to make it out to be. Like a male female issue.. I would have cricitized Trump the exact same way even if he were a woman. That has nothing to do with my culture. What I'm against is authoritarianism because I have witnessed what authoritarianism has done in my country where people are bribed to get votes and very bad ruthless politicians are brought into power. horrible, undemocratic, narcissistic, dangerously careless and self serving', which I suggest is good areas to do shadow work on yourself. Like what dude??? These are not shadow areas. I have no repressed undemocratic values in me. At this point I can't tell if you are joking. Trump is careless and a narcissist? This is not me saying it alone. The whole world is saying this. Yes he is self serving. He doesn't even care about the constitution. He wants to be the president even if he lost both in terms of popular vote and electoral vote. That's how self serving he is. I don't need to do any shadow work for just expressing my opinions on an undemocratic leader. Even Leo said that the situation is dangerous now if he doesn't leave Maybe it will benefit you if you stop posting your hate and bias against me and focus on yourself. Now please don't quote me again because I don't like to waste my time dealing with people who disagree with me. If you disagree with me Fine, but don't waste my time engaging me in a debate. I'm come here to learn, grow and express my thoughts and opinions, not to debate and argue with people who disagree with me Keep your disagreements to yourself and learn to be tolerant of others opinions on a public forum. And don't waste my time. And yes, I'm having an opinion on Trump or politics. Not on you. I am not making any personal comments on you so it shouldn't be your worry whatever I say about Trump.

@Keyhole thank goodness. Lol. Such a situation never happened before.

So what's the solution if Trump doesn't leave? Is this a weird dystopian reality that we're living in where Trump is the permanent president? They say truth is stranger than fiction. Trump kinda proved it. I can't believe that this is actually happening where the democratic principles of America are being challenged in favor of authoritarianism and 71 million people even voted for such stupidity. How are we supposed to reconcile anything here?

@Karmadhi yes. That's why I call it deception and manipulation. Because they hide their true nature in the beginning. This happened to me many times. One guy I dated was very kind, caring, honest and gentle in the first few weeks. I was very impressed. After sleeping with him for a few months, within 6 months his behavior began to change rapidly and he started to act very arrogant and rude. He started showing his true nature. These guys are aware that girls like kind funny loving guys. So they do the acting for a few months. Then they can't keep acting forever. Eventually their true nature begins to show but they at least got to sleep with the girl. It's very difficult to tell if a guy is truly loving or he is just acting. That's why girls start to use shit tests to know if the guy is genuine or simply acting.

@Karmadhi because in the beginning the guys hide these traits and manipulate the girls into believing that they are good guys. The traits begin to appear once the girl accepts the relationship. But then it's too late and she has already slept with him.

That's a good idea. Maybe we should call them Maga cakes.

That's because girls are naive when they are inexperienced in relationships. The pua community has put this idea in your head that girls like only assholes. This is not true. What is really happening is that only assholes have the confidence to approach women. They don't care about rejection, they have high confidence and they are not shy at all. So girls get approached by such men in a majority. Rarely does a good guy ever thinks about approaching a woman and even if he does he doesn't do it confidently, he is shy, he immediately gives up and doesn't pursue the girl further. The girl stands no chance because he disappears. Some guys don't even bother to approach out of fear of rejection. Now the asshole has no fear. So he keeps persuading the woman till she says yes to him. The woman does not realize that he is an asshole and thinks maybe he loves her. She takes his constant persuasion and effort as a sign of love and accepts his advances. After a few months she discovers that he is acting like an asshole, cheating on her or treating her badly and breaks off with him. This is in no way means that girls are only looking for assholes. They want the right man but they will need to wait for a really long time for one good man to come in their lives. Almost 90% of men who approach them are assholes who only want sex and want to play with them with no intention of a good relationship. Girls are very easy to get manipulated. Asshole guys are great at manipulation. They have learned how to manipulate a woman and trick her into thinking that he loves her truly and madly. This is deception. Most women use their hearts instead of their brains. They fall for the trick. They easily believe the guy only to be fooled later..this is what usually happens in a typical girl-with-an-asshole kind of a relationship. It happened to me and several of my friends. It's a very common thing that happens with women especially with their first boyfriends because they don't have any experience of male nature so they can't tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy. This is what the pick up community takes advantage of. But these girls, just like me, learn over time that these men are not good and they start to develop filters and barriers to keep such men away. Their experience teaches them to spot red flags in a man and they can easily tell which guy is an asshole based on their experiences. Then they learn to reject the asshole and eventually accept the good guy in life and marry him. But girls have to go through this learning process in order to finally understand which guy is a good guy. These bad boys get girls temporarily because the girls are stupid and inexperienced and later these girls leave them after some learning. Eventually these bad boys end up lonely because no girl wants them after seeing their dating history. The pua community makes it look like a man has to be an asshole to get a girl and keep her. Actually thats very bad advice. If a guy did that, he will always keep losing the women in his life and never be happy. Every woman will leave him after seeing his behavior in the relationship. If he wants to keep his girlfriend then he needs to stop being an asshole and have a loving kind respectful relationship with the woman, only then she will stay with him forever. But pua does not focus on this aspect because they encourage the player mentality in men, where they tell men to keep a score and pick up one woman and then dump her. This creates a lot of frustration in women, if such a trend continues then eventually all women will lose trust in men and it will be even more difficult to get a woman. It's going to be worse. Internet and YouTube is full of such harmful advice where are taught to play games with women. This will never work out for any good because it pisses off women and they give up. It's a wrong idea to assume that girls like assholes. Instead of thinking the statement "girls like assholes" use the statement "girls get manipulated by assholes", that's a better way of understanding why girls are locked in relationships with assholes Hope you got a clear answer.

Like I said I don't want to argue with you. You're not ready to let go. Don't quote me when I'm not interested in arguing with you. Move on.

Everyone is free to state their opinions right or wrong. You don't have some kind of an authority on opinions. You don't get to decide who is right or wrong for the entire population. People are not babies, they can think for themselves.

I suggest work on your boundaries a bit. If you had really good boundaries, you probably wouldn't have bothered to respond in the first place.