Preety_India

I've always talked about emotional safety in my journals. Especially in romantic relationships. It's a high priority because you can get pretty much messed up if the emotions in a relationship are not in balance. One way is to build a wall emotionally where you don't give or surrender immediate emotional authority to the other person. You keep yourself from being instantly affected by what they say or do. The next step would be to ask yourself what sort of emotion you experience around that person? I was in a narcissistic relationship so when I asked myself this question, the answer usually was - the emotion of fear. This emotion is unhealthy. If and when you experience the emotions of happiness, fulfillment, excitement , deep joy, love, freedom oxytocin then the relationship is emotionally safe if this is the usual pattern. If and when you experience the emotions of fear, resentment, upset, Insecurity, blame, guilt, alertness, anger, hate, revenge, confusion etc and these emotions are frequent and more than expected then the answer is that the relationship is emotionally very unsafe. This is one way to test emotional safety in a relationship One way to stay emotionally safe is to reduce attachment with the person, get rid of the dopamine addiction by controlling and slowly withdrawing communication, slow withdrawal to avoid withdrawal symptoms and by gradually uplifting yourself and completely avoiding the person. To be honest emotionally unsafe people just aren't worth your time so if they are currently existing, chuck them out for good.

@Eph75 added more info.

Either you upgrade or you degrade and when you don't upgrade you degrade. At any point whatever you do is either helping you or eroding you.. So you're either being constructive or destructive. So you either click D or C.. D for destructive and C for constructive. Or

That's the golden line of 2021, something to be really grateful for in 2021.

@28 cm unbuffed I had liked some of your posts. Just quoted to re-read them.

@Firebird This thread is actually good. Why do you wanna lock it? I was enjoying reading it. It seems that you had a great experience. What is your take home message from this experience if I may ask? Do you think that all suffering is due to the existence of the self in a material body and not the etheric?

Will write the spiral dynamics post later. Images for representative purposes.

Spiral dynamics and its role in a futuristic sense.

@Leo Gura how in the world did you get all these heavy metals in your body? By food or by water?

You can't base perceptions on relationships by watching a few videos. You never know the intention behind such videos The social media and internet is full of toxic crap especially for views and followers. Some of the stories could be exaggerated for views. Try to go out there and have your own experiences to guide you. Also relationships are a deeply distorted dynamic. It's not always cut and dry as s this gender issue or that gender issue. Every relationship you fall into speaks volumes about your own experience with life, your stage in Spiral Dynamics and how you view a person/persons in your life. If your own worldview is selectively skewed, then your relationships will reflect that. The other person is only one part of the equation. Two halves make the whole. You are the other half of the relationship. If you attracted a toxic partner, did you ask yourself why? Maybe the answer lies in the why. And this whole generalization is crazy. Let's say a woman makes a video saying most men are just toxic, would it work? It won't. Same way. Such Generalizations already set you up for failure with a negative mindset. Would you like to enter a relationship already thinking and assuming that the girl is toxic etc.. It won't work because your own assumptions might destroy the relationship even if she might be the best person in the world. For example, I generally attracted emotionally abusive guys in my relationships, not because I didn't want good guys but because I was a poor judge of character and gave my heart without thinking too much and being overly trusting which means I was an easy bait for Abusers. It took time and experience to recognize a pattern and then learn to consciously avoid this pattern, guys who were very persuasive and did a lot of love bombing made me easily believe their false ways of showing love, and this can apply to girls as well. Let's say a girl is being very seductive to you and gives you the best feeling in the world and you won't be able to tell if she is after your money, at least in the beginning. What if her intentions to be with you are all bad, it will take you time to figure out and sometimes it's too late. The thing is that toxic partners are not a matter of gender, of men or women. Easy to fall into the hate trap. Toxic partners is about learning how to avoid toxic people (no matter the gender) and making more aware, wiser and more conscious decisions while entering relationships. Also, some negative experiences are needed in life to grow, to build back better. To learn and then be careful. If life were a bed of roses, we probably would never learn the darker sides of life. Stop thinking about whether girls are good or girls are bad. Girls are girls just like boys are boys. They both have unique needs in relationships and unique problems. Do you think all girls are bad? Do you think all girls are good? Both questions are biased. The answer is good and bad persons exist in every skin color, culture and gender. Thinking in absolute terms is what's wrong. Rather try to focus on how you can attract better partners, how you can avoid toxic partners, how you can learn to detect toxic patterns in relationships early on, how you can develop yourself in a relationship and how you can sustain healthy relationships that you managed to create Real problems need real solutions. Throwing blame on a gender only keeps you away from real growth and real "work on self."

5x + 2y + (a) = 12.. + (a) What is (a)? 'a' is a constant. 'a' specifically focuses on the spiritual aspect. I'd say to me 'a' represents karma I think you can't ignore karma no matter what. You cannot have happiness and unhappiness in the same place. You cannot create great logical ideas meanwhile being spiritually absent and empty. You cannot have people suffering greatly meanwhile you have big billionaires and great technologies. It's simply not sustainable. Karma comes back to bite you. Several thousand years ago kings and queens used to live royally in their palaces of great abundance whereas slaves and farmers and peasants were left to live in squalor and always begging for help. The royals rejoiced and celebrated life in their palaces throwing bread crumbs to poor destitute and lavishing their money on splurge meanwhile those in the streets suffered horrible pain and suffering, death, disaster, illness and no escape from a life of slavery and penance. But karma eventually came and karma is such a bitch that it eventually engulfed the palaces in its flames and everything burnt to cinders. That's how karma works. The wheels of time will turn in such a way.... I remember writing this golden line in a few of my journals. Yes. The wheels of time will turn in such a way that God and universe will bring justice to everyone. It is impossible to live in peace by causing evil. It is impossible to live in peace by causing by having others live in pain and watching them suffer.

5x + 2y + (a) = 12.. + (a) The equation describes to me the logical nature of things. How we can escape a great deal of suffering by simply focusing on the equation, on the logical aspects of life.

I feel very happy because of this equation. 5x + 2y + (a) = 12.. + (a) It gives me a sense of meaning to life. It means life is limited and the soul is eternal. Our realities are limited because reality is already configured and you can do nothing much about it. Although this seems like a nihilistic approach, it's better than endlessly hoping and working to change reality. It's gonna work. You can try a little to change things. But the reality is so limited by the equation that you are trapped in it no matter what.. But don't blame yourself if things don't work out. It's not your fault anyway. You weren't configured for it. Things will be good or bad. Just accept reality.

@MoreLove even if those weren't the only solutions to the equation, once the condition is given as integers the solutions would be finite,that is only a few numbers that can take up the value of x or y to give you 12 on the other side. However the important aspect was only to highlight how limited reality is and we need to think of reality in logical terms like a math equation however there is always an unknown constant a in the scheme of things that is always playing and making its presence felt in the background of the equation. You can always omit out ' a' the unknown constant but it won't do good because these are factors codes by the universe and they can't be neglected or ignored. These factors are spiritual in nature and deeply connected to existence.

Oh c'mon, green is not always hippie. Just look at me.

@MoreLove yea generally the restriction is that the number are integers.

Yea ala is bad

That a is a constant, a set of irrational ideas and systems that contribute just as the rational system of 5x+2y.. That 'a' represents a spiritual constant, a side of life that we cannot understand or grasp logically or rationally. It's the "unexplainable" part of life that is beyond logic and reality.

Orange when taken to extreme leads to selfishness. Selfishness is the downfall of civilization.

There is enemy that you need to be aware of.

I always struggled with this question as to why God brings suffering in this world. And the answer is to reduce the evil in the world. Because of suffering, people become complacent.

Remember that you are always loved. You have to rise above the enemies.

God you're just 18. Give yourself a break. I didn't even think all this when I was 18. Let life happen.