Preety_India

Toys LED room

Candy music Bubblegum pop

@Just Timothy I don't believe in non duality at all. That's how I integrate it. I believe in the duality of life and the universe.

Something that is aesthetically pleasing to me list Food Asian cultural things Themes and aesthetics Anything sensual / sexual Anything artistic Anything Gothic and witchy Anything ancient and vintage Anything related to sleep and night or lights off Beautiful homes Anything related to beach Anything related to fantasy and imagination Anything related to love and romance. Lovey Dovey Anything related to coffee Anything related to spirit and darkness Anything related to purple and roses and black and mystic gothic. Anything related to street Anything related to pop culture bad boy Anything related to protective lover image Peppy music, kiddy music, childish fun, bubblegum candy type music Dark rooms. Dim rooms Sadomasochistic sex Deep colours and hues with mystic allure Anything seductive and alluring Black and white soft imagery Poetic stuff LED rooms Sensual deep dark aspects Archetypal aspects Romantic imagery Evening imagery Graffiti Street imagery Gifys ASMR and related musical or sound stuff Watching animal documentaries Listening to sweet voices Ciyiets Old vintage Hollywood comedy Autumn aesthetics Long nails Winter aesthetics Piers and bridges over water Vibrant colors Certain voices and interviews and narrations Interior decor designs Artsy rooms. Grunge rooms Hippie lifestyle aesthetic Seeing people live in minimalist conditions Watching a tarot card reading. Watching documentaries Clean sheets Looking at the yantra Being in a spa room Relaxing holiday or vacation routines

This

Ok that was a long list. Here's another long list of my likes Chocolate Bread Shopping Fantasy stories and novels Visualizations and imaginations Books (generic ) Walking at night Dancing. Listening to peppy music. Listening to bubblegum pop music Being all over the place Sitting in a park Talking kindly and politely to people (although I've social anxiety and I'm an introvert, I'm a jovial person who likes to be light hearted and funny and sweet around people. My overall energy/vibe can be defined as SWEET. (only times when I'm hostile is if I see passive aggression or triggers. People being too sarcastic is a huge trigger ) Mysterious colors Paranormal stuff and study Collection of things. Like I keep a collection of journals Being passively flirty with people both men and women (although I'm not bisexual, I enjoy casual flirty but not "cheating on spouse " type of flirting. Just light casual flirting as per context Listening to romantic songs Listening to sad songs Listening to deep songs I like anything emotional Showing affection to lover Jewelry. But not over the top

Omg that was a big list. I'll have to make another big list of what I like Cute bows and cute girly things Being submissive to my guy Flat shoes and flip flops Pillow talk Early morning sunshine Walking in nature Dancing around a fire. (never actually did this ) Watching cat videos Bird sounds. The idea of eternal romance Being a love bird forever Sexual attraction. Romantic attraction and writing erotic stuff Wearing cotton and summery stuff Ancient Egyptian religious theme Talk therapy Intelligent and intellectually stimulating conversations Living in my own world. Introversion Forest elf themes Aesthetics (environmental aesthetics. I take great care about making my journals aesthetically nice to my eyes ) Learning different things everyday ASMR Night breeze Soft satin bed Purple color Acting like a kid around a man Beautiful windows Soft curtains

I love closed spaces. They make me feel more secure and in myself. I love disco LED lights and lighted rooms. They give me a feeling of peace. In this journal I'm more focused on curing my trauma. Once and forever, I want to put this behind me. One thing that my psychologist told me was to list down things that I really like or enjoy. And I'm finding difficulty in doing this But I'm slowly able to gather my scatter brain and get a few items that I like in this world. Much of this might sound childish. But hey I don't give a damn if I appear/sound like a child. My appearance is not important. My feelings are more important. So some of the things that I like Good sex Intimate talk and conversations Role playing Teddy Bears Being spanked (my favorite) Cats (a lot omg I love cats ) Humor Art Poetry Painting nails. Cute doll like figures like cute Asian toys for kids Candy stores Sucking candies. This always makes me so chill Chinese takeout food (I order every alternate day, I love Buddha dumplings, my favorite ) Rings. Gold rings. Silver rings. In this department I'm a bit materialistic. Forgive me. I love finger rings Beautiful bedsheets Room decor Tarot cards Everything related to witchcraft Different kinds of foods Lipstick Reading romantic novels Glistening water. Sparkling water with ice Champagne (little bit only ) Wine and beer (little bit. I've never really drunk. Just tasted a bit. I'm usually against drinking ) Hot bath lathering in a bath tub Sitting by the beach at night Eating cakes Ice cream on a bad day Rains outside the window Crime shows. Real crime shows like Cold Case LED lights decor Closed rooms and spaces Disco LED theme Grunge themes Old songs both English/Western and Hindi Pineapple Mango Banana Smoothies Milkshakes Tea Coffee Cooking Reading Gardening

I also have a secret crush on cute Asian guys. I remember flirting with an Asian guy and he was so protective of me. I forget that I'm Asian too. I'm not too much into Japanese. However anything Chinese is super cute.

I love South Asian culture. I used to frequently visit the Hong Kong market back in the US. And I used to buy sauce cans and cuisines from these stores that used to carry stuff from Malaysian, Thai, Vietnamese and Filipino cultures. And I used to enjoy their stuff. I like the cuteness in their art. All the cute hello kitty plush toys and cute anime toys. The whole Asian culture about anime and cute little things. I like buying that stuff. I like this candy culture of cute nothings with lots of colors and beautiful cute kid themes. It's like I get to be a kid again. It's so relaxing. It's way better than being in a mall with all adult boring stuff. South Asian culture is therapeutic to me. And so is African and Islamic cultures. There's so much art in these cultures including Indian. I love such a variety. Of course my favorite was Bruce Lee.

No idea what that means.

Today my psychologist diagnosed me with PTSD. . I don't know how long I can take this.

Just feeling a bit down today Don't know how to vent Feeling Depressed Worried Anxious Suicidal (worried about family ) There was a big fight because I didn't buy the right stuff for her. So she was badgering me. It was tough. I cried many times. Then she spoke to my psychologist and told him all bullshit about lying y L

This caused me to burst out in laughter. That was too funny

Ok thank you, I'll use it on my phone then.

I don't think I agree with this

Can I use it on my phone. I currently have it. But I fear it will consume storage space on my phone if I keep storing more info in it. Help me with this.

@Emerald oh yeah. That quote nails it perfectly, all this charade between imaginary creations of the bad boy image instilled by popular media and reality of it.

So he was acquitted again? Nothing new. I knew it already. Well he won't be able to con again at the least.

Although I don't support right wing politics, and it seems he had a ton of personal issues, I feel sorry for his death. May he find peace in eternity. RIP.

Absolutely true. There's a ton of wisdom in this post. I'm sorry you went through that experience. I went through a similar one recently, got myself back up, pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got the hell out of it. It was such a relief when I did it. All the initial high dose sexual attraction is simply not worth investing in. And when you finally move on, you're no longer attracted to them the way you once were. The illusion begins to fall off.

That was cute

@Axiomatic im merely speculating to know more I'm a highly inquisitive person. I like asking questions like a curious child. It helps me learn at a much faster rate. You apply all sorts of naive judgements to my childish curiosities and innocent inquiries. You make it sound very sinister or deep when it's only light hearted questions that pop up off the top of my head in the moment without much thought. It's kinda silly what you with your psychoanalyzing me over every sentence I write here. I'm quite happy in my relationship. But being happy doesn't mean I can't have curiosities and questions about the world of relationships. Also you make everything very hyper personalized. It could be something that I'm not even dealing currently, but simply making a scenario to frame a question. I like interacting and learning with people here and I keep it very light hearted but you always go into an extremely personal territory like a gossip tabloid. You ruin my curiosity and the funny exchanges I have with people. Please quit this judgmental over psychoanalyzing over speculating behavior. It's very annoying and destroys my mood completely. It's just a conversation, like a tea party light hearted conversation Please don't drag into some annoying personal crap when you don't even know me. You're thoroughly obsessed with me on a pathological level and it's seriously annoying. Please check yourself. Every comment of yours on any thread where I talk is like a ridiculous conjecture on my character or life. Stop making it all about me or making it so personal.. You ruin every thread of mine which has been started with innocent intentions.. If you don't like reading my stuff or if I bother you this much, then you can easily ignore what I do. I don't seem to have any problem debating with others on here. But you always make everything so personal. You are not my psychologist. Stop being so obsessed with me. I'm just a stranger on the internet who you know nothing about. And you are clearly the one who starts upsetting me by getting too uncomfortably personal, indirectly mentioning me while talking to others like a gossip. Then you make it sound like I'm debating you when I'm least interested in talking to you on here. But you seem to love pushing my personal buttons all the time. I'm not responding to your personal speculation about me on this thread. Watch how others respond here. They don't feel the need to be too personal with me. They are just giving neutral responses. Stop the gossip behavior.

When you have an intimate conversation and relationship, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. You create space for love and understanding. That's all we really need to get by in life. We need each other. We need intimacy to know each other. This is sex. It's life. Without sex there is nothing. Sex and spirituality have a connection. Because both are about intimacy. All conflicts are gone during sex. It's free. It's liberating. All differences resolved. It's the most intimate connection. I feel like sex is teaching me something, something deep. Like I need to accept all the harshness in this world, that would make my journey easier. Being intimate is the only way you can truly be yourself. You can be truly free in your self expression. You can simply be yourself. This is where healing begins, because when you're intimate, you aren't judged anymore. You are loved in intimacy. You're made to feel secure. You can be you without all manipulations, you can be free, away from the world, you can say whatever you want, just anything. You can say anything. It's such a relief because finally you can feel free and not stressed out anymore. You can feel healed. You can vent out, let out. It's like deep talk therapy with a psychiatrist. It's one of the reasons why sex is so therapeutic, it can literally cure anything in the world. Do you want something that can simply cure your brain right now, a powerful cure that energizes each and every cell in your brain, that creates a beautiful garden, now I understand what Buddha meant by a beautiful garden, sex is a ginormous about of energy activated. It's an extreme release, it is this intimacy. It creates a beautiful feeling in the brain, like pure bliss, a strong protection against psychic attacks, it's almost like giving a cleansing bath to your brain computer. Sexual healing. There is just no repression. Absolute freedom. When you feel this release, this powerful free self expression, it's the deepest release of all held up swallowed karmas, everything rises to the surface. You feel absolute surrender and peace. If your mind is, even for a minute, held in a rapture of sudden pleasure, release, surrender and absolute understanding, you become liberated for a minute, you reach a different mental state, a state of pleasure and joy and in this state you feel rapture and you feel free, in this state, nothing bothers you anymore, survival looks lame, people seem petty, you do care about life but you aren't as affected. You feel healed, all tensions thrown out and then you come to homeostasis. There is no repression. Your deepest feelings are confronted. You only talk to yourself. There is no more manipulation of your sentiment or feeling. Just rotate your fingers in a circle around your breast. There is no hurt and no room for hurt during an intimate session. This is where healing begins. It's the same as self love. When someone knows you inside out, it's like you're loving yourself. If somebody asked you to describe how you look, it's difficult without a mirror, but with a mirror it's much easier, when you love yourself, it feels hard like a routine, but when you are loved, it's much easier. It's like medicine given to children with a sugar pill. It digests better. Same way. There is a sweetened elegance and ease when someone loves you intimately. And when they do understand you thoroughly, it's like self love, the only difference being someone else is loving you as though you are loving yourself. It's like a twin mate who understands you inside and out. And now that you have this mate, it suddenly feels like self love. The healing begins slowly. You get renewed courage and you feel like you can take on things. You can finally get the love to fuel your actions and positivity.