Preety_India

@Surfingthewave Because they feel threatened by anything that challenges their status quo. They rather not hear a new idea. They want it shut down. Btw it's not even a new idea, it's been in existence, only difference being people don't tend to discuss it as much. And the other speculation being that they think a female has opened this thread so in their minds, I must have some female agenda behind this thread which would make them perceive the whole topic negatively. (just my speculation though, could be my projection, but I rarely remember ever getting a better reception for my ideas here) It's kinda ridiculous to become uncomfortable just because something is different. Maybe they think it's a threat to regular gaming. This thread reminds me of gay people coming out in front of a straight audience. The straight people get super uncomfortable because they feel very uncertain about how gay people are going to change their reality, so they are not open to the idea of homosexuality. Haha. When in reality gay people are just minding their own business.

Survival can only be selfless when an abundant system is handing you out everything without you having to compete for it. But in reality this does not happen. People have to compete with each other for survival. So when you get a house for yourself, that space is taken when someone else could have been accomodated there. But instead you competed with everyone to get that. In reality survival is selfish. It cannot be selfless. No matter whatever embellishments you apply to it. To think that survival is selfless is a dreamy projection on reality.

You don't know a woman's experience. So be careful about how you make everything look easy.

I want to think of all the beautiful things. Of God and kindness. If you are in my world, you will see my sweetness and kindness because that's what I want to create.

But the focus of the topic was strategies and experiences and not spiral dynamics correlation. I think it goes in a completely different direction if we discuss spiral dynamics aspect.

@intotheblack haha Yea.

Yep

Like I said, it's confusing to put it into spiral dynamics stages or tier 1 or tier 2. People are never at a specific stage on the Spiral anyway.. Most people are a mixture of different vmemes Like for example, someone could be Orange when it comes to career and more Green when it comes to politics. So people cannot be defined by a specific color code since they can be a combination of many things with regard to different aspects. So i don't find it entirely impossible for a stage orange or a stage Green to pursue Tier 2 dating. Maybe they are stage Orange with regard to their other life aspects whereas they could be Tier 2 when it comes to dating. That's why I think it's unfair to compartmentalize dating styles according to spiral dynamics stages

But how can you be sure of her inner world. What if her inner world is completely different from what you are describing? I think the only person who can speak about their inner world is her own self. Nobody can decide her inner world other than her. By deciding someone else's truth for them we only project on them.

I think focusing too much on boxing the types of these relationships into a spiral dynamics stage/vmeme is unfairly focusing on structure rather than the content. At the end of the day, it wouldn't matter where it is on the spiral dynamics stage, it is more about focusing on these relationships and not get lost into the paradigms of conventional dating. For a guy who doesn't want pickup, or tired of pickup or more interested in such relationships, it's a good option if he doesn't want pickup. He can allow a relationship to naturally blossom. Some people will say it's stage Green dating, some will say it's blue, some people will say it's Turquoise, the fact is that people can enter into such relationships wherever they are at on the spiral dynamics stage, where they are wouldn't matter as long as they find themselves in such relationship patterns. One need not be at a specific stage of spiral dynamics to decide what dating style or strategy they want to follow in life

Nothing selfish about it. Just that alternatives to typical Mainstream strategies exist that we forget to discuss. The kind of strategies and relationships that we often tend to ignore. Best is it to keep all possibilities open

Yep totally. Creates a lot of confusion for women.

@Javfly33 I think we really need a totally different term to define the genuinely nice guy. Because nearly 90% of the guys who approach me always use the term "nice guy" directly or indirectly. It has reached a point where the term "nice guy" has been thoroughly abused by men who do pickup in unconscious and toxic ways. A lot of creepy guys who introduce themselves as nice guys. So it's tough to believe a genuinely nice guy. It kinda does a disservice to genuinely nice guys who lose their chances because nobody wants to believe them, much because of creepy guys who use the nice guy identity as a patsy.

I can't disclose my brain disorder(not comfortable with talking about it). I'm sorry about that. Thanks for all the suggestions. Very helpful.

I want to be a writer. I already submitted a post to a local bulletin and made some money out of it. I felt better because writing is my biggest passion and my biggest hobby ever since I was a kid. I like to write a lot. But there is a problem. Because of my brain disorder, my articulation sucks big time. I can't really say things in the best way. I get very robotic about it and say it directly. I'm not able to articulate in a poetic smooth flowing or philosophical fashion. I'm weak in this department. Ive the passion but I lack the skill. Any suggestions on how to improve my articulation skills? I like how Sam Harris articulates his ideas. It's a bit convoluted and contains a lot of jargon which is a bit unpleasant but I like the delivery nevertheless. Suggestions are welcome..

@AdamR95 you are so right.

Good question. There is no particular strategy because it's not geared towards specific goals. More like finding a true connection and such things don't happen in a planned manner. My suggestion is that such relationships blossom in certain environments, for example if you joined a spiritual workshops or communities. You'll need to focus on creating good friendships. For example with my guy, he was a friend of my friend and that's how we were introduced to each other. We didn't even go out on a date. Because we were just friends initially. But as time went on, we became close friends and then best friends and then lovers, it was like a process of progression and evolution where our emotional connection went from zero to really strong. This is not how typical dating scenario because in such Situations both parties know that they are out on a date. Whereas in my case, it was the blossoming of a relationship out of natural friendship and finding that connection between us. And now we are lovers. It took a long time to cultivate the love for each other and it came through spending time together and understanding each other. There was no goal in the beginning. There was no plan. It happened on its own. If he had directly approached me like a cold approach in a club or a restaurant or a busy street, I probably would have rejected him directly because I wouldn't have found him attractive. But over time of being in the same environment, since he was the friend of my friend, so there were many chances where we spent time collectively as friends, all three of us, (he is the friend of my guy friend) and in the process we got closer and got to know each other much better and eventually fell in love over our shared needs for spirituality. He loves doing meditation with me and I discuss spirituality with him and he is equally passionate about psychedelics, and high consciousness practices. So we found a lot of common interests that we shared. We decided to build something incredible together and now I'm more passionate about my spiritual work So i really can't say if there was any strategy involved in this. All I can say is that to pursue such relationships you might want to explore more into your friend circles or join places where people share your interests. A very good example is the thread in this subforum where a guy asked where he could find high consciousness women. I suggested spiritual workshops is a good place to start. But if you pursue traditional pickup methods, it's less likely you'll find a like minded person, it's not impossible, but it is not that common.

@zeroISinfinity this is completely irrelevant to my topic..I don't need to know what you have to say. Don't preach me your advice. I told you a million times that I don't need your advice. Save your precious advice for someone else.

@zeroISinfinity I was describing my experience with bad boys. Don't take me constantly out of context. You want to constantly state what a guy wants. Then go start your own thread about it. I'm not interested in learning your opinions of me. Can you just quit doing this please??

@zeroISinfinity no. I never said I'm looking for Game B. I was simply discussing the concept of it. You make a ton of assumptions in your mind out of wherever I say.

I just hope the fast works out fine and safe for you. I'm not sure about its safety but please stay safe with whatever you do. I will pray for your well being and health. Hope you recover from all your struggles.

Nope. These are not everyday cases. Such things are rare. This is not how we do things.

My strongest feminist aspect of my personality is Living by my own code.

. I will live. I will die. But you know what I will be proud of? That I survived. Survived all the winds and tides in my life.

This is not so much about Tier 2 dating.. It's about an unconventional dating pattern and there is still not a mutually agreeable definition on it. That's why I said it's loosely defined. Since it's not definitive, nobody can really decide what it truly entails. The only definitive understanding of it is that it's not like hookup culture normal mainstream attraction based dating. It has less odds for survival in it. But I'm not trying to say that it is superior or inferior in any way. It can't be called Game A because there is nothing of Game A in it, none of those conventional dating elements. People in such dating might not even use dating apps. There is no criteria for it because it highly depends on what the couple wants for each other and these terms and conditions defined by them irrespective of what society thinks or mainstream dating thinks. Like I said it's alternative style..