Preety_India

Please stop making false accusations against strangers on the internet.

Be free about what you want Be open about your issues

I am going to make a list of things about me And then check each item

Leo did not mean it that way where you do not hold others accountable for their actions. Standing up for yourself is also a form of radical responsibility? It takes huge balls to stand up for yourself. But it also makes your life easier and increases resilience in tough situations.

Classifying systems aren't necessarily racist. This is a flawed notion. One can have differences and still respect them.. It's like we have different seasons. But all seasons are equally loved We can love each other despite differences. That's actually real love

This is a hard topic. I would appreciate insights of @Forestluv on this topic in some detail.

@Parththakkar12 yes the solution is to respect all races and to educate racists to not use derogatory language. And it's not just language because language and connotations can sometimes create confusion around Intent. However actions don't create confusion. Racist actions means discrimination attacks, violence against a group of people who belong to a particular race, withholding their rights, not giving them credit for their work, using stereotypes to kill them or justify killing them (police brutality?), encouraging the harassing or abuse of such groups, not giving them justice or legal support. So blatant racism is easily visible without confusion. The solution is to educate individuals involved in such actions and showing a no tolerance policy. In case of police officers where the risk is too high, body cameras can be used and police officers engaging in blatant racism can be suspended from work and given racial sensitivity training. For example in the Amber Guyger case, police uncovered racists texts on her phone which indicated she had racist hate towards black people. However she was never investigated. There was ample evidence to prove that Dylan Roof carried racist hate towards blacks to pathological levels as seen in his websites, personal photos and manifestos. Yet nobody took it seriously. Proper investigation into claims of racism can cut down racist attacks by a significant amount. Cancel culture also helps in preventing future events of racism. Most recent Example is of Sharon Osborne being reprimanded by CBS for her racist comments on the talk show. This gives a signal that racism won't be tolerated. These are tangible measures that help to curb institutional and workplace racism. Does it mean that Sharon Osborne will stop being a racist. Not necessarily. We can't know what is going on in their minds. But at least other people won't get impacted by their racist actions.

@Parththakkar12 you make it a blame game because you think that way. Again it's a projection. The humor is too dry sorry.

That's exactly what white fragility is! A false perception and projection that discussing racism is somehow an attack on the white race. The fact that it comes across as that way when the intent is to create a respectful equal spaces between races is projection in itself. And projection is not anyone's issue other than that of the projector.

Please do research on different races before making this false claim. That's why I said to get your facts right. Read that. It shows you the biological differences with respect to medical issues. Doctors always have to take into account the race of the patient they are treated that's why there is a race column while filling medical forms and reports.. A particular medication might not create an inflammatory reaction in a white person but it may create a huge allergic reaction in a black person While doing clinical trials, doctors have to take these factors into consideration to create a universally acceptable drug that will be tolerable by most races. Race is not the difference in skin color alone. It means a host of biological differences between two groups of people. In a spiritual sense these differences don't matter and are irrelevant.. But in reality, these differences matter while making important decisions and collecting statistics.

@Parththakkar12 try to understand the meaning of anti-racism. It's not about dissolving racial boundaries or differences between races. It's about embracing these differences. Your stand of anti-racism is akin to saying races don't exist and so people should not even talk about race This is like saying if a banana is racist to orange, just stop discussing the differences between a banana and orange. Both are fruits and identified as fruits and are different in terms of their composition. Yet they both can coexist with respect for each other. Anti racism is not the denial of such differences but the embracing and acceptance of such differences in a non offensive manner that gives dignity to both races involved.

How do you account for racial differences? How do you account for biological differences in races? Why is my skin color different from the skin color of a white person?

@Parththakkar12 you mean to say races don't exist?

@Parththakkar12 explain me why discussing racism is ethnocentrism?

Also white fragility is a phenomenon that makes discussing racism with white people very difficult. Evidence is already visible on this thread alone. White fragility ≠ racism.

@Parththakkar12 Anti racism is ≠ ethnocentrism. Do not create a false equivalency. Anti racism is fighting racism to create a respectful space for all races to coexist in dignity and equal rights. Get your facts right

That's a good perspective in a poetic sense. Reminds me of Rumi.

@Tim R No it's not wrong. Whenever I confronted my racist white ex boyfriend on his racism towards me, he used to be terribly upset as though I committed a crime by bringing it up. In essence, White Fragility is Real. White people don't like to hear narratives on racism. It hurts their Ego and Pride. When someone talks to a white person about racism, it's not about blaming them or guilting them but making them understand that racism is extremely hurtful and causes harm long term to all races. It breeds hate against other races and minorities and makes their life miserable. The fact that many white people are offended by simply referring to racism, says how real White Fragility is White fragility is the biggest reason why non white people can never talk about racism.

@diamondpenguin bad boys is a general word used for specific types of men. The word boy is irrelevant. I'm not dating 15 year Olds so be mindful of how you use your accusations. That was quite rude and disrespectful of you. I date men of my age or older . I've always dated older men. Yes I'm a grown woman and I date grown men. Do you know that even men, no matter how old are still called "bad boys."

Yes this is exactly what happened. Hot cold behavior and dumped the friendship after getting what they wanted. I was left confused and hurt. No explanation given when asked. And totally disappeared. But in the beginning they over-invested in me creating a hope of a good friendship.

This thread definitely applies to this situation. how-to-deal-with-friends-who-use-and-dump-you

There is a problem with this. I could have easily chosen to do this except for the fact that person kept leading me on into thinking that a deeper friendship is developing. They were quite invested in me as a friend. I thought the friendship was quite strong. The day before this friend told me that I mean a lot to them and that I don't have to worry at all and that every time there is something bad, they will be understanding and make sure to resolve misunderstandings. I felt very hopeful. The next day they were in some sort of a trouble and I reached out to them to ask them what happened and they cut me out ruthlessly as soon as their situation got better. You're right about one thing. I shouldn't be too eager to help because I feel like I'm doing something good and helping someone but they take it as a sign that I'm weak. Everything happened quite abruptly. It felt like I had invested so much into the friendship and that person suddenly ghosted me with no explanation once they got the support they needed from me.. So Yea there was no time to decide who invested how much. I think next time around I will let the other party invest a lot before I even decide to invest. Would this be a good strategy @Peter Miklis

I kinda lost my mind for a while because of the stress of the situation. Sorry about that. Your post is extremely helpful and totally resonating with my feelings right now. Agree This is exactly my experience. I felt their behavior was ruthless. Check. They lied and were dishonest. Check. They had no humanity or conscience. Check. (they didn't care one bit how someone would feel because of their actions, they didn't try to resolve any conflicts) They only care about themselves. Check. They don't consider anybody else's feelings. Check I wouldn't want to label them that way because some of them are here on this forum so I won't choose to get them upset. But they definitely have things to work out on how not to treat others like shit. Yes. Right now I'm going through the phase where I feel worthless, dumb, stupid and angry and used. Yes. I need to let go the pain. The pain keeps hurting. The lessons from the pain are valuable though. Yes. I'm trying to convince myself that even if I met some shitty people, there must be kind people as well. I blocked those 2 persons who caused me pain in the past few days. It was her last chance. I am done with her forever. Yes knowledge is my armor. Being Empathetic is nice. But more than often, it's usually gets reciprocated with abuse and sociapathy and "taken for granted" behaviors. I keep updating myself about red flags.