Preety_India

Because I see them approaching others in my space like office/classroom. But the same people don't approach me. The people who make friends are generally always the ass-licker types I've felt the same way in certain work environments where colleagues would build their own social circle then I felt left out. Basically ostracized. Most people are only looking for small talk, banter, vibing, and less serious talk. Social vibing. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." Again perception. How people are perceiving you. (tonality, body language, facial expressions) Attitudes are contagious and people tend to drift to those that act the same way. Ass-licking sounds basically about power hierarchy's. Could be a toxic social environment if that's the case. I tend to stand out because of my opinionated nature. Sometimes I feel like I should just shut up and I will be liked more. But that way I lose authenticity Sounds like you're already self-aware of the situation reading that. Try to put your self in their perspective in order to build rapport. Socially calibrate and be aware of who you are talking with. Too much self-disclosure can turn people off. Have to determine signs of when people are receptive to authenticity and vulnerability. Most people shutdown when there's too much openness. That's the social norm that most people unconsciously follow unfortunately. Social masks. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood. not really that I can think of.. I don't go out much as a result. Sounds like you might want to switch up the environment. Come up with a list of places you want to go visit. Determine what fits you best. I feel constantly opposed and attacked and I can sense a general dislike. Most people assume that I'm being cheap if I'm being flirty. But when I go quiet, people assume that I'm rude. Also I don't like the culture of conformation. It's like I'm accepted within a group only when I'm sweet natured and conform to their opinions. The moment I disagree with the general consensus, I immediately get outlawed and treated badly. Hated. Again, you have to be careful about who you talk with. Generally speaking, most people don't like to debate. Typically, people like to go with the flow and have their opinion mirrored and acknowledged. Cognitive biases create ass-lickers. Depends on who you are talking to and the social setting. Most people are communicating simply to just raise their emotional state and sense of social status. If you can master those two then people typically associate social value to you. It comes down to understanding r-messages. Showing people respect and they will show it back. Which begs the question... What is respect? How do you feel respected? How do you show other people respect? (Respect is a tricky word.) If you show people that you don't respect their opinion it comes off as rude or contemptuous. Which is the opposite of your intent. Ask others what respect means to them. Different people feel respected for different reasons. I feel constantly opposed and attacked and I can sense a general dislike. Most people assume that I'm being cheap if I'm being flirty. But when I go quiet, people assume that I'm rude. Also I don't like the culture of conformation. It's like I'm accepted within a group only when I'm sweet natured and conform to their opinions. The moment I disagree with the general consensus, I immediately get outlawed and treated badly. Hated. People are quick to sense an attitude. It's hard to be self-aware enough at all moments to detect when our attitude is being perceived. It's very difficult to moderate or hide one's own attitude. Comes across even in micro-emotions which people are able to pick up on subconsciously. Recording yourself talking out loud helps. For whatever reason, in our head we may think we are coming across in one way but misperceived in another way. (subtle sounds such as a voice intonation can set people off). If you don't like the culture then try searching for a sub-culture that you find like minded people. "within (that) group" Depends on how much rapport breaking you do. If you break rapport too much you will get rejected. Has to be at some limit of conforming to keep social ties. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING - What does this mean? PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING - What does this mean? ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR PERCEPTION - What does this mean? PERCEPTION DETERMINES YOUR ATTITUDE - What does this mean? People who are not looking to start a fight or argument. People who are open minded to accept new opinions and thoughts. People who respect boundaries and respect each other's space. People who are humble and sweet and don't feel the need to one up each other all the time or play games of "who is popular. " 1-upping(superior) and 1-downing(inferior) is all about transactional analysis (TA). Only way to find someone who isn't looking to one-up is to identify ego states. R-messages is something that is critical in TA. It's usually sent and decoded unconsciously. Even me typing this can exchange R-messages. Which I'm trying my best to hold you at equal respect. I am no better than you and vice versa. My intentions are to share knowledge hoping that you gain from it. However, what gets tricky is when a part of ourself is wanting to get a need bet by 1-upping. Why do we communicate? Understand what people want To feel respected by ourselves and others... Give or get information (so we can understand and make informed choices).. Cause change (and feel impactful, vs. powerless).. Vent - i.e. to feel empathically understood and accepted).. Create excitement (avoid boredom and numbness).. *** AKA SOCIAL VIBING & MOST PEOPLE *** Avoid discomfort, like a social silence, conflict, or a painful awareness. Maybe they want to see me as a demure girl and I don't fit that mold. The same people tend to like me when I'm acting dumb, silly and extra demure, feminine or submissive. But I can't be something that I'm not. I'm not dominating, but I'm vivacious and child like, I can't be exactly demure. If we lived in the 1950's in America then being a demure girl would seem more socially appropriate. However, being demure isn't completely bad these days (unless you live in a developing country). Maybe if you lived in the deepest southern states out in the woods then that could be expected. (Personally, I grew up in lower Alabama where women were not necessarily soft spoken. Which is more a stereotype of southern women) It could be that people feel a sense of discomfort when being over-spoken on a specific topic (not necessarily outsmarted). All goes back the R-message and how you are being perceived. Knowledge is a form of power and it can shake up the dynamics in a relationship. Especially between masculine & feminine polarity. Not to say that's a completely bad thing. It just depends on who you are talking with. Lastly, I'd like to address the self-talk because using such words as nobody likes me is coming from an inner critic sub-self. Being able to identify this self-talk and address it at the core. Last thing you want is the inner-dialog to repeat these words over time and reinforce such ideas. Below is a video that kind of helped me be aware of how my voice tone came across to people to perceive me in a certain way. When I was going through basic training with the air force they beat this into me. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it!!!!" I had to learn the hard way.

65 Core Principles Of Living The Good Life 1. No ideology and no dogma of any kind - Most teaching is filled with ideology and dogma - be wary of this - Very easy to fall into some kind of ideology - Work on undoing the ideologies you were imparted with - You are after freedom of your mind. Ideology is anchoring - Very ideological people can't change themselves 2. Big picture thinking is greater than technical knowledge - Don't get lost in details, keep the big picture in mind - People who are extremely focused on the details have dysfunctional lives 3. Direct experience is king - Experience is the only thing that is real and exists - Everything else is imaginary - Ground yourself in present, direct experience 4. Self-experimentation - Everyone is different so you have to figure out what works for you - Get good at troubleshooting 5. Radical open-mindedness - We enter this world not knowing anything - We need to fully explore every nook of reality - The ego mind prefers to be closed-minded - Doesn’t mean you believe a bunch of ridiculous things but you are open to experiencing them and don't judge them prematurely - You may need to deeply explore topics until they make sense 6. You do not judge things which you have not experience personally - Don’t think you understand something that you haven't experienced - e.g. judging someone without knowing their story or background - Recognise when your mind is about to judge something 7. Question everything - There is nothing too sacred to question - Question and be mindful of underlying assumptions - Look for assumptions being made - Keep in mind that the burden of truth is on you, not on the other person 8. Care about philosophical and metaphysical matters - These are more abstract but they do have practical applications - There is more to life than the transactional/pragmatic business of everyday life 9. Genuine intent at Truth at whatever cost - You've got to pay whatever cost it takes - Without this you will keep falling into falsehood and delusion - Worldly pleasures are pursued through falsehood 10. Genuine intent to understand every point of view - Average person stays in their POV and judges other POVs - Learn to jump into other people's POV - The world IS the collection of people's POV 11. Integral thinking - Every POV or perspective contains a kernel of truth, even the most atrocious POVs - Combine all POVs, don't limit life to just your POV - Discover what the kernel of truth is in every perspective. What is the other person passionate about in their POV - Every point of view, even your own, is partial 12. Everything basically boils down to inner-game - All problems and all suffering is self-created and self-inflicted - We live in a reality of consciousness not material - Be aware of the limits of your current paradigm - To solve everything, master your mind 13. Life-long learning and self-education - Take ownership of your education - Learn about life proactively - You have no information about the world when you are born - 200 books over the next 5 years - Books, online workshops, courses, in-person workshops - Don't be cheap - Develop a system for taking notes 14. Observation - The key to learning anything - The power of observation is enormous - The antidote to being lost inside your own mind - Observe everything to learn about yourself and the world - Pure direct experience 15. Plan to meditate for one hour every day - A cornerstone habit, you must install it - It will take you a while to start enjoying it - A form of observation - You can't buy spiritual advancement, you have to do the work 16. Ego is the root of all evil or suffering - The sense of you - The story of how you were born and had all these problems and how you are sitting there as a material creature 17. Self-deception - The biggest thing you need to be worried about in life - You deceive others less than you deceive yourself - Get good at seeing your own self-deceptions - All your problems stem from self-deception 18. Self-bias - Need to see how ego distorts perceptions for its survival - Conflicts of interests and self-bias - Everything is biased by your needs - All of this is preventing your form accessing the truth 19. All fear all judgement all evil all anger all suffering are delusion - Truth removes these and lets you enjoy life 20. Do not demonize anyone - All demonization is delusion 21. Reality is perfect - Can only appreciate this when you have good inner game and consciousness - Your level of being bothered by external things is a good measure of your growth - How am I creating the imperfection from the perfection that is already there 22. The purpose of life is to raise your consciousness 23. The purpose of life is to raise your capacity to love 24. The purpose of life is to take in the beauty of life - Of everything including mundane things and the ugly things - Don’t just go through the motions of life - It's hard to see the beauty in things that are affecting your survival 25. The purpose of life is to feel alive everyday - Be less robotic and mechanical - These four help you orient yourself 26. Build your metaphysical connection to reality - Pursue/be spiritual - You are existence itself 27. Counter intuitiveness - Often you have to do the opposite of what you thing will work initially, especially if you are inexperienced - Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing. Most people get mediocre results in life 28. Non-duality is the ultimate truth - All boundaries, categories and distinctions are relative and ultimately collapse - Nothing will hold if you follow it all the way - The mind constructs all these distinctions and they are all false 29. Absolute truth exist but it cannot be thought, believed, imagined, spoken, written proven or argued - Absolute truth is unlimited - Proof is limited - Truth is broader than proof - Can get there through spiritual practice, stop wasting time thinking about it, just stop it. 30. Reality is not material - Reality is a giant mind - Things that appear physical are all one mind. Imaginings within a mind-scape - Psychedelics help with this 31. Life is a dream - There is no external world beyond this dream - Can awaken from the dream, and disidentify with your attachments to the dream 32. Reality is infinite and god is a real thing - The word god points to infinity 33. You are god - You created yourself, the entire universe, and everything, and you are everything - Realising this will help you take responsibility for your life 34. God is the devil - God and devil collapse into a unity - Stop being bothered by evil, it is a part of infinity, and there is intelligence behind it - You need to understand the illusion of reality/maya - The dream is hypnotic and self-deceptive - This is not something to ignore it is something to embrace 35. All identity is relative and fluid - There is no absolute identity in reality - Your identity has been changing all the time - Same for collective identity - countries, companies, political parties - You can change what you identify with - Identify with the absolute and death is no longer a problem 36. 99.999% are deluded and asleep - Don’t get lost in the delusions of other people - You won't get a bunch of confirmation from others on this work 37. Society is still in the dark ages - The 21st century is not some kind of advanced society - We are still very dysfunctional as a species - Don’t get seduced by the façade erected by society, we know very little - Society won't just give you answers about how to live a good life 38. Development and awakening - You want to awaken from the dream but you also need to master living in the dream - Two core avenues of growth in your life - To seriously awaken you need to also be developed to be in a position in life to seriously pursue awakening 39. Figure out who you are and what do you want out of life - Hone in on your purpose - As much clarity as possible, will take a lot of time - Will help you make decisions - A good life does not happen randomly 40. Authenticity - Strive every day to be more authentic - You get happiness and fulfilment from being authentic - Inauthenticity is a survival strategy - Strip away your fears, worries, and social conditioning - Your relationships need to be authentic but you have to discover who you are and what you want 41. You need to develop a life purpose - A sense of what you're doing in your life - Merging your career with what you want out of life 42. Take 100% responsibility for your life - Don’t blame anyone, observe yourself blaming people and stop - Assume the burden of solving the problems that come your way - Allows you to stop being a victim, gives you self esteem 43. Be a leader - Lead yourself, be proactive, take risks - Lead others around you 44. Be a creator - There is so much stuff you can create - Create things you enjoy - Provide massive value to mankind - People who lack life purpose are sucked into the life purpose of another person 45. Reason and rationality cannot be trusted - Truth is transrational - Every criminal, con artist, dictator etc. work through reason. The mind backwards rationalises what it does, self-deception to justify egoic agenda. - Any time you hear appeals to reason, be suspicious. Same as any person trying to be extra moral 46. Embrace paradox confusion and not knowing - The person who thinks he has everything figured out perfectly is deluded. Models are finite, reality is infinite. - Truth is larger than proof 47. Emotional mastery - Observe and figure out how they work - This does not mean being hyper-rational and suppressing emotions or outbursts of negative emotions - You experience emotions deeper and are more conscious of what they are - Emotions drive reasoning and are more powerful than reason for your motivations 48. Integrate the masculine and the feminine - Go deep into your masculinity but don't create a shadow of the feminine. Dive deep into feminine as well and integrate it. - Doesn't mean you need to be 50/50, be what you feel life but don't polarise yourself extremely 49. Non-manipulation - Ego manipulates everything - The less manipulative you are as a person the better your life will be 50. Everything is relative - Anything except the absolute is known in relation to something else - All conventional experience you have is relative - All truth claims are relative - All morality is relative - Science is relative to the human mind. Change the mind and science flies out the window - Changing context changes your outlook 51. Context over facts - Facts are dependent on context and are relative 52. Pull from hundreds of diverse sources - Diversify your portfolio of knowledge - In order to avoid getting trapped in a paradigm and get locked in it - By learning a lot of things you learn about the traps as well - Can't take Leo as your only source either 53. Satisfy your base needs so that you stopped craving - Use Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Handle the needs stuff so you're not craving it 54. Master your basic survival and livelihood - Figure out how to survive in the real world - Learn how to hunt before you dive into enlightenment - Learn how business and money work - May need to forget about enlightenment for now and learn to make a living - Learn the skills needed to survive - Become independent and self-sufficient - This will break the cycle of fear and let you do the higher stuff - Try to get this sorted by 30 55. Mastery - Need to be a master in at least one thing - Stop dabbling - Doesn't mean you don't have hobbies - Enjoyment in work comes from mastery - Takes 5-10 years to become a master - Millennials don't pursue mastery - Start by mastering one thing that you enjoy - The older you get the harder it is to master things 56. Beware of distractions - Distraction is the ego's favourite tool - Watch the distraction video 57. Systems thinking - See systems at work everywhere - There is an ecological connection between everything - Problems are not black and white, everything is interconnected - Feedback loops 58. Be a good citizen and be conscious of your ecological footprint - You are an ant in a colony and have an impact on the colony - Think about what you are contributing to - Be conscious about how your actions impact the world - e.g. eating meat, buying stuff made in sweatshops, polluting etc 59. Be strategic - Think 5-10 years down the road and plan how you will get there - Go through multiple stepping stones to reach goals 60. Happiness is only possible with enlightenment 61. No material possession will ever make you happy - This is like a law of physics - Includes relationships, family, knowledge, travel - Accept it and work towards enlightenment 62. Be happy all by yourself - Train yourself to be happy sitting doing nothing - Doesn’t mean you shouldn't socialise and have fun with friends - Most titillation is distraction 63. Keep your life simple and spartan - Be mindful of filling up free time with distractions and social obligations - Have several hours every day to work on spirituality - Focus on the inner game 64. Without practice, exercises and techniques there will be no results - Theory is important but alone it will produce 1% of results - Go beyond theory and do the work - Psychedelics, meditation, meditative yoga, journaling, contemplation, visualisation, solo retreats are powerful 65. Do not turn Actualized.org into an ideology - Don’t violate principle 1 - Don't turn it into another religion Be intelligent about how you implement the above, be strategic.

This could it a heart attack lol.

https://youtu.be/oxm8ph2tfpY

Tell me how they are safe?

Hey Perseus This was cute

This is the funniest thing so far. I definitely want this one. LOL bloody was like this. https://youtu.be/Yie9Bgo69m8 Aww. I love you too.

Anyone up for it? Wanna discuss? Lets discuss how you want Game B dating to look like? Boys and girls here, chip in your views on how you want it for your gender. I still don't have a fixed vision for this, just loose thoughts around this. This can be the next generation high consciousness dating.. Tell me how you want it look. Game A people can overlook this thread because it won't apply to you if you don't want Game B To give you a context on this. Game B involves life long bonding, or at least long term, less attraction related stuff, more about emotions Stage Green dating strategies and Hotspots, developing intimacy and connection, hippie love, defying social norms on regular dating, building strong relationships and partnerships, overcoming hurdles, choosing alternative unconventional partners (for example you might be straight and choose a gay partner or someone who is not in your social status zone (like beneath you socially or financially). Basically this is unconventional dating game and not your regular club hookup/rsd /pua/regular physical attraction. Ready for Game B?

Because I see them approaching others in my space like office/classroom. But the same people don't approach me. The people who make friends are generally always the ass-licker types And I don't like all the ass licking politically correct behavior. I tend to stand out because of my opinionated nature. Sometimes I feel like I should just shut up and I will be liked more. But that way I lose authenticity not really that I can think of.. I don't go out much as a result. I feel constantly opposed and attacked and I can sense a general dislike. Most people assume that I'm being cheap if I'm being flirty. But when I go quiet, people assume that I'm rude. Also I don't like the culture of conformation. It's like I'm accepted within a group only when I'm sweet natured and conform to their opinions. The moment I disagree with the general consensus, I immediately get outlawed and treated badly. Hated. People who are not looking to start a fight or argument. People who are open minded to accept new opinions and thoughts. People who respect boundaries and respect each other's space. People who are humble and sweet and don't feel the need to one up each other all the time or play games of "who is popular. " Because they give me negative attention, treat me cheap, blame me over nothing, consider me as an attention seeker (when I'm not ), do not like my feminine confidence. Maybe they want to see me as a demure girl and I don't fit that mold. The same people tend to like me when I'm acting dumb, silly and extra demure, feminine or submissive. But I can't be something that I'm not. I'm not dominating, but I'm vivacious and child like, I can't be exactly demure. I'm not sure.

I want to be the other fox..

@Origins you have such a beautiful long range. Try adding more single words into lyrics.. Your voice goes well with single words stretched out long. I'm trying to improve my voice as well.

@Origins I love electro synth.

@Origins you shouldn't really care about singing high or low. Just sing from the bottom of your heart. Pro tip - don't care about how you sound because you couldn't sound better when your heart is in the song and the singing. Awaken the true heart.

@Origins you killed me with that font. Holy shucks. I'm hiding in a burrow.

I just squeaked like a cat out of excitement. I think I will finally get some love from Andrew. And I think finally my life will become better. Hoooooooooooooooorrraaaaahhhh

Thank you so much for the kind words. I feel happy now

I'm feeling high as a kite. Knowing that even if someone hates me it shouldn't matter

I lost a friendship last week. And I gained a new friend this week. I'm so happy. I hope and I pray that this friend stays my friend forever.

Yes I do.

Making a few changes. I want to get into acting I want to try hand gestures. I want to watch youtubers and then copy their body language. I want to immerse myself into cartoon characters I want to immerse myself into content. I want disco lights. And. I love God. I love God so much. Because God is the only one who doesn't judge. Let the haters keep hating, I'll keep rolling. I'll keep laughing. I will do all the counterintuitive things.. When the devil wants me to cry, I will laugh. I will be happy no matter what.. I will find ways to laugh. Ways to throw myself out there and enjoy myself. I will see content that makes me laugh.. I will visualize and imagine that I'm laughing. I will imagine that I'm playing a character in an old vintage comedy show.

@Lyubov the gay thing was just used an example to explain the closed mindedness towards game B.

I see a cat picture. I click.

No it's not that. It exists. Pure and simple. It's just ambiguous because it's an umbrella term and not discussed often. At one point in time people thought a relationship can only exist between a man and a woman and not between a man and a man. But here we are, seeing men kiss each other. Game B always existed in the shadows of Game A. Nobody pays attention to it because it's not exciting.

@Lyubov no I don't agree. Game B is different. You probably don't get it because you don't want to accept it.

I think I found a new friend. I'm happy.