Preety_India

Choose sensibility over empathy.. Empathy without sensibility won't make much of a difference.

Along with this authenticity and sensibility as well.

What do you want? What kind of life do you imagine?

Don't compromise with sensibility for emotions.

Whatever be the status quo of the system, regardless of whatever, a person should have to feel cared for and there is no excuse in the whole universe why a person should not have to feel cared for..

@Ethan1 There is also this thing that bugs me a lot I feel like I'm being hated for being an Indian. This is generally when I'm online. That when i interact with a white person, they treat me worse than in comparison with another white person they are talking to. I easily notice the differences. It makes me feel that it could be my race that people are hating me for. I always wonder why this different treatment. Like for example if I'm talking to many white people, they usually treat each other well but when it comes to me, they tend to give me a less than favorable treatment, treating me in a Hostile condescending manner which is not very visible but I can feel the condescending alienating undertones of the conversation. They tend to give other white people respect but that respect is not given to me. They tend to look down on me or project their pre conditioned biases on me leading to a feeling of alienation. This makes me feel like I am being hated for being Indian.

Don't you think that you would feel much better after blocking their drama? Don't you think that you deserve better?

Salmon is very good. But no to roasted or salty nuts. Just eat fresh nuts. A small a cup for breakfast. You could try Walnuts. Pista, cashew, Hazelnuts and almonds. Personally I prefer unsalted cashews. They are not only delicious but also give me a boost of energy. Since I'm vegan, I don't eat any meat. Since you're not vegan, you could try healthy meat options. Don't eat barbecue style options or butter fried streak and all that. Just pure cooked meat in marinade.

Honestly it's not a pity party. It's your authentic side finally speaking for itself.

4 words Connection. ( Genuine and helpful and sensitive) Sense of control of every aspect Alignment (resonance). Acceptance. Radical acceptance. Sensitivity

@Lyubov Zero tolerance policy. That's it. Never give too much benefit of the doubt to those who don't care to even respond. If left unattended, stuff like this tends to clog life. Just block. There are other important people who need your time. Make important friends not any friends.

Just ghost and block them and be done with it. Peace. Say - No time for fakers. Say no to - Fake friends and mind games players.

@Michael569 I did not exactly imply that they would cancer. You kinda jumped the gun. I said they could contain carcinogenic compounds. Now I don't exactly eat a coal brick for dinner, but does the following sound delicious to you - https://detoxandprosper.com/toxin-list/dangers-of-artificial-flavors/

@Michael569 do you know that sometimes such products could carry carcinogenic compounds? Not always though.

.. Always have good quality conversations.

I'd suggest the following - Get yourself a professional diagnosis as to know what exact psychological disorder it could be Remember it could be a combination of psychological disorders There is no shame in admitting a psychological disorder as shaming prevents improving of symptoms Make a symptom list Work on each symptom every day gradually with baby steps Look for therapy options first. Cheaper therapy in your local area. First look for therapy then go for the drug option Make sure that you take safe drugs. I'd say stick to therapy since drugs can be addictive Therapy, light to moderate really helps a lot of people overcome stubborn symptoms Diet changes definitely help a lot. Go for organic diet with lots of water Have you tried relaxation techniques and exercises. Check them on YouTube. They are a great help with reducing stress and tension. Do you have any childhood trauma or past trauma. You might look into your past and then look for ways to resolve trauma this needs a lot of shadow work and healing work. Have you tried alternate spiritual therapies like Reiki. Do breath work. Diaphragmatic breathing helps a lot. Many resources on YouTube on stress, anxiety and tension related problems. Do you do regular journaling. Try it. It helps in understanding the self better. Better self awareness means quicker resolution Have you tried regular exercises and massage. It does wonders to your stressed out brain. OCD is something that you will need to work on. How do you feel spiritually. Set your spiritual aspects right. Do meditation, contemplation and have a strong spiritual base by reading more on spirituality. Develop your spiritual center. Invest in organic food. Do positive affirmations every day Boost your motivation by doing at least 1 self development activity every day Do you suffer low self esteem. Maybe look into that. How are your relationships in general? Cut down toxic people and cut off toxic social media nonsense Keep an Emotional track record journal Listen to calm music. Make new wonderful friends. It will tone down your anxiety. Have you tried joining some self help community or group (other than this place) for example like a local church (if you are religious) or any other group like for self help, psych disorders, depression forums online, Facebook groups. Try joining support groups and build your supportive chain network. Namaste

Just accept it. That life is a joke Everything is a joke. That I might get a heart attack some day dealing with all the chaos that I cannot escape. Just accept it.

@kras do you have social anxiety? Regardless. For both @Keef and @kras I'd suggest the following - Get yourself a professional diagnosis as to know what exact psychological disorder it could be Remember it could be a combination of psychological disorders There is no shame in admitting a psychological disorder as shaming prevents improving of symptoms Make a symptom list Work on each symptom every day gradually with baby steps Look for therapy options first. Cheaper therapy in your local area. First look for therapy then go for the drug option Make sure that you take safe drugs. I'd say stick to therapy since drugs can be addictive Therapy, light to moderate really helps a lot of people overcome stubborn symptoms Diet changes definitely help a lot. Go for organic diet with lots of water Have you tried relaxation techniques and exercises. Check them on YouTube. They are a great help with reducing stress and tension. Do you have any childhood trauma or past trauma. You might look into your past and then look for ways to resolve trauma this needs a lot of shadow work and healing work. Have you tried alternate spiritual therapies like Reiki. Do breath work. Diaphragmatic breathing helps a lot. Many resources on YouTube on stress, anxiety and tension related problems. Do you do regular journaling. Try it. It helps in understanding the self better. Better self awareness means quicker resolution Have you tried regular exercises and massage. It does wonders to your stressed out brain. OCD is something that you will need to work on. How do you feel spiritually. Set your spiritual aspects right. Do meditation, contemplation and have a strong spiritual base by reading more on spirituality. Develop your spiritual center. Invest in organic food. Do positive affirmations every day Boost your motivation by doing at least 1 self development activity every day Do you suffer low self esteem. Maybe look into that. How are your relationships in general? Cut down toxic people and cut off toxic social media nonsense Keep an Emotional track record journal Listen to calm music. Make new wonderful friends. It will tone down your anxiety. Have you tried joining some self help community or group (other than this place) for example like a local church (if you are religious) or any other group like for self help, psych disorders, depression forums online, Facebook groups. Try joining support groups and build your supportive chain network. Namaste

Expressions used in daily conversations "scoffs" "sod off"

I'm insanely sexually attracted to Milo Yiannopoulos. Something about these kind of long faces in men that attracts me a lot. And Milo just announced that he is no longer gay. He looks effing cute quite similar to the SB man I fell in love with on this forum. Similar faces. Something about a man's face that tends to make me want him more. long nose for sure. Had a huge crush on Milo since the longest time. So what's up Milo, how you doing? I can't imagine he has been looking so different from what I used to see him as before. Milo's voice has changed so much. So much softer and nicer. Milo, your voice is so SEXY OMG. I would melt if Milo was talking to me. Sexy voice. Slimmer face. Milo you need to keep your moustache. You look damn sexy with some facial hair .

I wouldn't care too much about such masculinity. It doesn't serve a purpose.

@Ethan1 Thank you for the detailed response!

Because I see them approaching others in my space like office/classroom. But the same people don't approach me. The people who make friends are generally always the ass-licker types I've felt the same way in certain work environments where colleagues would build their own social circle then I felt left out. Basically ostracized. Most people are only looking for small talk, banter, vibing, and less serious talk. Social vibing. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." Again perception. How people are perceiving you. (tonality, body language, facial expressions) Attitudes are contagious and people tend to drift to those that act the same way. Ass-licking sounds basically about power hierarchy's. Could be a toxic social environment if that's the case. I tend to stand out because of my opinionated nature. Sometimes I feel like I should just shut up and I will be liked more. But that way I lose authenticity Sounds like you're already self-aware of the situation reading that. Try to put your self in their perspective in order to build rapport. Socially calibrate and be aware of who you are talking with. Too much self-disclosure can turn people off. Have to determine signs of when people are receptive to authenticity and vulnerability. Most people shutdown when there's too much openness. That's the social norm that most people unconsciously follow unfortunately. Social masks. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood. not really that I can think of.. I don't go out much as a result. Sounds like you might want to switch up the environment. Come up with a list of places you want to go visit. Determine what fits you best. I feel constantly opposed and attacked and I can sense a general dislike. Most people assume that I'm being cheap if I'm being flirty. But when I go quiet, people assume that I'm rude. Also I don't like the culture of conformation. It's like I'm accepted within a group only when I'm sweet natured and conform to their opinions. The moment I disagree with the general consensus, I immediately get outlawed and treated badly. Hated. Again, you have to be careful about who you talk with. Generally speaking, most people don't like to debate. Typically, people like to go with the flow and have their opinion mirrored and acknowledged. Cognitive biases create ass-lickers. Depends on who you are talking to and the social setting. Most people are communicating simply to just raise their emotional state and sense of social status. If you can master those two then people typically associate social value to you. It comes down to understanding r-messages. Showing people respect and they will show it back. Which begs the question... What is respect? How do you feel respected? How do you show other people respect? (Respect is a tricky word.) If you show people that you don't respect their opinion it comes off as rude or contemptuous. Which is the opposite of your intent. Ask others what respect means to them. Different people feel respected for different reasons. I feel constantly opposed and attacked and I can sense a general dislike. Most people assume that I'm being cheap if I'm being flirty. But when I go quiet, people assume that I'm rude. Also I don't like the culture of conformation. It's like I'm accepted within a group only when I'm sweet natured and conform to their opinions. The moment I disagree with the general consensus, I immediately get outlawed and treated badly. Hated. People are quick to sense an attitude. It's hard to be self-aware enough at all moments to detect when our attitude is being perceived. It's very difficult to moderate or hide one's own attitude. Comes across even in micro-emotions which people are able to pick up on subconsciously. Recording yourself talking out loud helps. For whatever reason, in our head we may think we are coming across in one way but misperceived in another way. (subtle sounds such as a voice intonation can set people off). If you don't like the culture then try searching for a sub-culture that you find like minded people. "within (that) group" Depends on how much rapport breaking you do. If you break rapport too much you will get rejected. Has to be at some limit of conforming to keep social ties. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING - What does this mean? PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING - What does this mean? ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR PERCEPTION - What does this mean? PERCEPTION DETERMINES YOUR ATTITUDE - What does this mean? People who are not looking to start a fight or argument. People who are open minded to accept new opinions and thoughts. People who respect boundaries and respect each other's space. People who are humble and sweet and don't feel the need to one up each other all the time or play games of "who is popular. " 1-upping(superior) and 1-downing(inferior) is all about transactional analysis (TA). Only way to find someone who isn't looking to one-up is to identify ego states. R-messages is something that is critical in TA. It's usually sent and decoded unconsciously. Even me typing this can exchange R-messages. Which I'm trying my best to hold you at equal respect. I am no better than you and vice versa. My intentions are to share knowledge hoping that you gain from it. However, what gets tricky is when a part of ourself is wanting to get a need bet by 1-upping. Why do we communicate? Understand what people want To feel respected by ourselves and others... Give or get information (so we can understand and make informed choices).. Cause change (and feel impactful, vs. powerless).. Vent - i.e. to feel empathically understood and accepted).. Create excitement (avoid boredom and numbness).. *** AKA SOCIAL VIBING & MOST PEOPLE *** Avoid discomfort, like a social silence, conflict, or a painful awareness. Maybe they want to see me as a demure girl and I don't fit that mold. The same people tend to like me when I'm acting dumb, silly and extra demure, feminine or submissive. But I can't be something that I'm not. I'm not dominating, but I'm vivacious and child like, I can't be exactly demure. If we lived in the 1950's in America then being a demure girl would seem more socially appropriate. However, being demure isn't completely bad these days (unless you live in a developing country). Maybe if you lived in the deepest southern states out in the woods then that could be expected. (Personally, I grew up in lower Alabama where women were not necessarily soft spoken. Which is more a stereotype of southern women) It could be that people feel a sense of discomfort when being over-spoken on a specific topic (not necessarily outsmarted). All goes back the R-message and how you are being perceived. Knowledge is a form of power and it can shake up the dynamics in a relationship. Especially between masculine & feminine polarity. Not to say that's a completely bad thing. It just depends on who you are talking with. Lastly, I'd like to address the self-talk because using such words as nobody likes me is coming from an inner critic sub-self. Being able to identify this self-talk and address it at the core. Last thing you want is the inner-dialog to repeat these words over time and reinforce such ideas. Below is a video that kind of helped me be aware of how my voice tone came across to people to perceive me in a certain way. When I was going through basic training with the air force they beat this into me. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it!!!!" I had to learn the hard way.