Preety_India

Also find support systems I have written about this

Calming down the inner conflict and frustration. The inner Inferno. This is important

I created a diagram to understand some concept I'm coming up with. But don't have time to explain. So will leave the diagram here.

@BornToBoil what would you do?

Keep your brain free and not too cluttered. I lack or I'm low in Self awareness I'm low in self reflection

Try to integrate contrast between concepts.

My list of concepts I want to internalize every week.

So here are important concepts To be as you are. Save your temple. Save your spirit Heart and Consciousness based spirituality Have love in every moment. Find solace in sadness,nihilism, self pity and silence God and devil are two representations Love governs both good and evil Malevolence is destructive Use masculine energies to motivate the female in you. Acceptance Freedom Strive towards love, beauty, growth, survival, excellence, empowerment, purity, happiness and productivity, prosperity, spirituality, consciousness, conscientiousness Use spirits and guides and animal energies Use support systems Use stage Red motivation Use romance as motivation.

I know this sounds super rude. I think he is only famous because he committed suicide. There I said it.

Also focus on assimilation and integration.

So here it is. The final culmination of my thoughts on the topic of love, hate, friend, enemy, good, evil, God, Devil and Satan.

So here are important concepts To be as you are. Save your temple. Save your spirit Heart and Consciousness based spirituality Have love in every moment. Find solace in sadness,nihilism, self pity and silence God and devil are two representations Love governs both good and evil Malevolence is destructive Use masculine energies to motivate the female in you. Acceptance Freedom Strive towards love, beauty, growth, survival, excellence, empowerment, purity, happiness and productivity, prosperity, spirituality, consciousness, conscientiousness Use spirits and guides and animal energies Use support systems Use stage Red motivation Use romance as motivation Use love as motivation

To me the shark represents evil. Here evil means tough love even killing. The Viper spirit represents malevolence. Snake in the grass. And the Dove represents pure love and nurturing

@BornToBoil I'm 27 but I have given up.

Let love be your motivation.

I'm so sorry You're loved. But learn to deal with this. This is life. This is reality. This attitude is helping me a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend last month. I feel incredibly alone. I'm single. I have accepted that this is my fate. I will never find the man I want. Because the man I want, usually does not find me up to the mark and rejects me and the man who likes me, I don't like him because of some clash or lack of attraction. So i have come to believe that it will never work in my case and this is how it will always be. I have decided to accept my fate as a loner. I try to have imaginary boyfriends, because in reality, loneliness is difficult to deal with. I don't feel enough as a woman. So there is a lot of feeling of unworthiness Plus having mental illness makes it very tough to act normal Just to let you know that others are like you, that is me, and they exist and feel the same way. I have given up my hopes on dating. I'm just trying to save shame. I don't wish to shame myself. I will die alone. And that will be my fate. And absolutely nothing will stop it.. What is helping me right now more than ever is accepting this reality and not fighting with it. That's freedom Also please don't judge yourself by your dating life. We live in a cruel world. That judges us by factors of attraction. Some of it cannot be blamed. It will be the way it is. But we should let that judgement define us.. Ultimate love lies in releasing yourself from all judgement.

I'm so sorry You're loved. But learn to deal with this. This is life. This is reality. This attitude is helping me a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend last month. I feel incredibly alone. I'm single. I have accepted that this is my fate. I will never find the man I want. Because the man I want, usually does not find me up to the mark and rejects me and the man who likes me, I don't like him because of some clash or lack of attraction. So i have come to believe that it will never work in my case and this is how it will always be. I have decided to accept my fate as a loner. I try to have imaginary boyfriends, because in reality, loneliness is difficult to deal with. I don't feel enough as a woman. So there is a lot of feeling of unworthiness Plus having mental illness makes it very tough to act normal Just to let you know that others are like you, that is me, and they exist and feel the same way. I have given up my hopes on dating. I'm just trying to save shame. I don't wish to shame myself. I will die alone. And that will be my fate. And absolutely nothing will stop it.. What is helping me right now more than ever is accepting this reality and not fighting with it. That's freedom Also please don't judge yourself by your dating life. We live in a cruel world. That judges us by factors of attraction. Some of it cannot be blamed. It will be the way it is. But we should let that judgement define us.. Ultimate love lies in releasing yourself from all judgement.

I have issues with the modern world of digital and offline/online communication. I am not a party person. I like simple hangouts at a cafeteria or a park. Just that I have to be direct about these things just like I'm direct about anything else. I am a fiercely private person. Although it appears that I'm so much public with all aspects of my life, I'm not a social media savvy person, I am just too expressive which is often misconstrued as attention seeking. I like to express a lot. I'm quiet when I'm around people and I don't speak much but when I write, I write a lot. I'm just a writer at heart. I have always been writing and keeping diaries since I was a kid. I don't mind people reading my stuff because it doesn't matter what they know or don't know about me. It's not like I am going to meet them anyway.. I am shameless in that regard. I don't hold any barriers to self expression. Because I don't do the whole social thing I'm an extreme introvert. So my preferred communication is always going to be indirect. Like I am not a very chatty person. Nor am I quick to open up about something that is inside of me. The journal is a medium of finding peace with my introversion.. I like to imagine that I have an audience that reads my journal and I write to them. And that is all the communication I need. One of the reasons why I tend to journal so excessively is because I feel terribly lonely as an introvert.. So writing privately is not going to help with my loneliness. It's like talking to a wall, will only make me more lonely. But If I imagine that there is a mute audience that is ready to listen to me, it helps, it doesn't feel like I'm talking to a wall. It feels like at least I'm talking to someone. So my loneliness is slightly cured that way. One of the reasons why I even started the YouTube channel. I wanted to speak to whoever is ready to listen. It doesn't matter "who" that is who is doing the listening. I'm such an introvert that I'll never open up privately with a friend like this. Maybe I will never tell them my deepest feelings. I'm the sort of person who will not talk much at a party or in the house but silently go and write everything in my private diary and keep it somewhere around the house. The one who reads it will know my heart and mind. The one who doesn't bother to read it doesn't need to know me. Because I can't do the whole extroverted thing of explaining oneself to people the way extroverts do. I just can't do that. My heart and mind are not simply not designed that way. My ex(Joseph) was a total extrovert. He would be very chatty and talkative and I was the listener. He helped me a little bit to pull me out of my introverted misery. Although I still sucked and wouldn't open up about my issues or deeper feelings to him. I would keep my doubts and feelings to myself. He was very openly chatty, social and talkative.. He would talk 24/7 non stop sometimes overwhelming a socially anxious person like me. It was tough to be around him because I would be mostly silent half the time. I would sometimes speak up but he would talk over me and shut me down. I was not good at expressing my thoughts and emotions with him. That caused him to have a ton of misunderstanding about me. If I didn't speak up, he would think that I'm insensitive. But I wasn't insensitive. I just was awkward and didn't know how to express correctly or confidently.

@Max_V I'm so sorry You're loved. But learn to deal with this. This is life. This is reality. This attitude is helping me a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend last month. I feel incredibly alone. I'm single. I have accepted that this is my fate. I will never find the man I want. Because the man I want, usually does not find me up to the mark and rejects me and the man who likes me, I don't like him because of some clash or lack of attraction. So i have come to believe that it will never work in my case and this is how it will always be. I have decided to accept my fate as a loner. I try to have imaginary boyfriends, because in reality, loneliness is difficult to deal with. I don't feel enough as a woman. So there is a lot of feeling of unworthiness Plus having mental illness makes it very tough to act normal Just to let you know that others are like you, that is me, and they exist and feel the same way. I have given up my hopes on dating. I'm just trying to save shame. I don't wish to shame myself. I will die alone. And that will be my fate. And absolutely nothing will stop it.. What is helping me right now more than ever is accepting this reality and not fighting with it. That's freedom Also please don't judge yourself by your dating life. We live in a cruel world. That judges us by factors of attraction. Some of it cannot be blamed. It will be the way it is. But we should not let that judgement define us.. Ultimate love lies in releasing yourself from all judgement.

The motivation part is lacking in the above concepts

Yep I'm judging by appearance because appearance is all I get to see from far.

@BornToBoil I have criteria for both looks and character. Here I was only talking about looks. If a guy looks masculine but doesn't act masculine in character, that's a huge problem and I will lose attraction instantly. Masculinity in character as a personal preference for me means a whole dictionary of things. I can enlist a few like - toughness, resilience, protective, growth oriented, Strong, decisive, motivating, attentive, focused and there are many many many many many endless list. You have a valid point about bands you're talking about although I never ever heard them.. But I'm aware that hard rock and metal can appear masculine The thing is they never appear on mainstream radio. So if I have to say mainstream music then it's generally masculine hyper females like Lady Gaga and feminine boy toy guys like Justin Bieber are a major share of the market. Kurt is somewhere in between in that range. The more masculine men are probably in the heavy music but then again it's not attractive because they are masculine in a rather crude caveman way, which again is not tacit masculinity, more awkward and explicit. Would I like to talk to such a guy? I think I might get bored with his extra large hairy chest. Men in between are lovely, easy on the heart, mind and easy on the eyes.

I actually meant the whole music industry, because most of what is marketed is pop so I used the word pop. But I meant the whole. Everyone has a preference when it comes to what looks masculine to them. I find Kurt less masculine, because he doesn't look Macho enough, once again for some people this is not a factor in counting masculine, but for me I need the Macho factor to find a guy masculine enough. Doesn't mean that he needs to have a tough body, just average is fine. But he got to have the hard killer look. Well Kurt kinda lacks there. He has a weak boy image in my mind, someone who is wasted, I mean the drugged look on his face ?, it makes him look lazy. And the scruff makes him look tired, fatigued and dehydrated. The long hair doesn't look masculine in my appearance. It makes him look lazy or uninterested, living by the sidelines kinda look. He doesn't look stern enough. Like not in charge kinda male. I find men who I typically see as masculine as the one who are ready or in charge. They don't look scruffy. Having a beard is fine, but there are ways to keep a beard, it can look dirty scruffy and lazy or it can look well groomed, depending on how it's trimmed. Also the tense look on Kurt's face, a mark of struggles etc is not a good look. Good for his music but not good for masculinity Do I want to see a man in pain? No not at all. I want to see him ready to take over me and grab me. But a drunken look is not going to fit into that masculine romantic fantasy I imagine. So from my side, It's a no Kurt in the department of masculinity.

So here are important concepts To be as you are. Save your temple. Save your spirit Heart and Consciousness based spirituality Have love in every moment. Find solace in sadness,nihilism, self pity and silence God and devil are two representations Love governs both good and evil Malevolence is destructive Use masculine energies to motivate the female in you. Acceptance Freedom Strive towards love, beauty, growth, survival, excellence, empowerment, purity, happiness and productivity, prosperity, spirituality, consciousness, conscientiousness Use spirits and guides and animal energies Use support systems Use stage Red motivation Use romance as motivation.

OK I just remembered the concept .. now finally. It's about two types of spiritual practices. One is fundamental or heart spirituality. And the other is Consciousness based spirituality.