Preety_India

Just like you.

@Rilles you don't need to go looking that far. Go easy.

Men start wearing makeup. It's not too late.

Attention Mods All three accounts were created at once and are related and are posting scam. @parkminhyuk @parks394 @rockypark Please ban these three accounts as they are the same troll or separate trolls.

These trolls are using female profile pictures in order to not get banned Mods watch out.

@rockypark @parks394 Both of you posted links to scam sites and then deleted them Both accounts need to be banned. Either these are separate troll accounts or the same user making multiple accounts. Right now there is no mod online..

Please stop trolling

Both trolls. Please ban these accounts. They will keep posting

@Preety_India certain things that are definitive and certain things that are always murky.

My Black Awakening Moment! .... Post in progress.

My Black Awakening Moment! I think everyone at some point in this world has their Black Awakening moment unless they are deliberately trying to completely insulate themselves from the Black Experience. I'm an Indian woman, an Asian woman, an Eastern woman. I hardly had any idea of what it meant to be Black. I still don't in many ways. The only idea I had about Black people was from watching YouTube videos. I remember being in the US, especially in Houston for some time and in Seattle with my family for the rest of the time. In Houston I would often see black people working in Walmart or similar grocery and other stores. They would work mostly as clerks, sales executives, shopkeepers, ticket vendors, security and other menial jobs. I hardly saw black people working at higher positions like managers or doctors or hoteliers etc. Most of these high end positions were either taken up by white people, or by people of different ethnicities like Chinese, Indians, Hispanics or Middle Eastern. But most were white, if I correctly remember. Rarely black. So my interactions with black people were limited to the stores I visited where I would ask them about payment options or if I needed some help.. I was living in a hotel, hotel Embassy in Houston. There were mostly Chinese and Hispanic staff there. I observed that lower end hotels would have black staff and higher end hotels would have Chinese or Hispanic staff. So my interactions in the hotel were very limited. Only to staff people. Only on occasions In Seattle, I don't ever remember interacting with a black person except in a pharmacy once. Black people are quite rare in Seattle. So my perceptions and experiences of black people in general were extremely limited in scope and understanding.

The black man needs God! Western culture nearly destroys anything and everything that is good. It gives a bad metaphorical meaning to almost every English phrase that exists on planet earth. For example if I said that a person needs God, it would automatically mean that this person might have committed some crime or done something wrong and so they would need to turn their life around and find Christ or find God. This is a joke!!!! Because in Eastern cultures, it's absolutely not what we mean when we say you need God. Here it would mean that you need God in the sense you need God's grace and blessings and powers to get through life, without which humanity is going to make your life very difficult. Which means you need divine powers to help you get through because your own powers won't be enough to make the crossover from life to eternity. The only way to live a peaceful life would be to have God's grace and help. This is what I'm trying to say to the struggling black man. He needs God because this world won't help him, this life will test him to the extreme, his powers won't help create peace, because destiny is opposed to him, he has been relegated to a life of struggles and this struggle is not some poetic struggle from the movies where the protagonist becomes victorious in the end and his struggle is upheld as a source of inspiration and achievement. No no no. This struggle is not that beautiful and or with a fairy tale ending. This struggle is real. This struggle is real. Because in the end, the black man ends up dead, very much like George Floyd, or Tupac or Xxxtentacion or Botham Jean. His story is not a fairy tale story. His story starts with pain and ends with tragedy. He is only a puppet to destiny and fate. All of which conspire and collude to make his life as miserable as possible and let it finally succumb to the life long journey of pain and struggle. You need some Power on another level to be able to overturn the tides of destiny. You need God.

What does a black man represent to me? To me a black man is a struggler. I'm a struggler too. Anyone who is born in poverty is a struggler. I sometimes relate to the struggles of a black man, of course I'm a woman, so there are certain male aspects that I won't relate to, yet the struggles with poverty and dysfunctional families, lack of love, lack of social dignity and support, aspects like these is what I relate to. I can understand what it means to be born in a family of dysfunction where survival becomes difficult and society doesn't help. Problems that an average black man/poor black man as to deal with * poverty * race * racial discrimination * police * jail * prison * lack of employment * lack of education * family issues/ dysfunctional mother, absent father * gangs * fights, street fights * false detention * guns and violence * crack and drugs * drug dealers and hustlers * robberies * crimes * toxic women *pimps *prostitution /strip clubs * lack of productivity Of course every black man doesn't need to deal with this. But some have to. I consider the black man as a symbol of struggle/struggler. Because they are born to struggle by virtue of their race. They are born into misery because that's what their history created for them. Yet a black man has to pull himself through this struggle all on his own because the world won't help him just like the world won't help me. The black man feels isolated just the way i feel isolated. The black man's struggles mirror the struggles of millions of strugglers around the world even though they don't belong to the black race.. Of course all struggles aren't necessarily race related, but struggles could still have something to do with identity. For example, poor people might suffer in a third world country in Asia, this is neatly tied to their position and identity as a "poor person" in the social hierarchy in that country. I call myself a "blunder." what does this mean? This means that I consider myself a sufferer in life. When I tracked my whole journey through life, I saw myself struggling very hard at every point just to make ends meet and be able to survive both financially and emotionally. I realized over time, that if my struggles never seem to end, then this what my fate is bound to suffer, it won't really be free of struggles. It will be this way because it was meant to be this way. This acceptance requires a lot of fortitude of character. It's not easy. Such acceptance is however necessary to be to understand that reality is harsh and there is nothing airy fairy about finding a solution to my life's problems. So i have relinquished the whole idea of a beautiful fairy life. It won't happen. If it has always been a struggle so far, it will probably this way for the rest of my life as well. What I need is acceptance However acceptance of the brutality of your own life is not the same as complacency. You don't become complacent just because you accept your fate. You only realize that you are no longer living a delusion or daydreaming. You're sufficiently prepared to understand and absorb reality. This also means that you are better prepared, more realistically prepared to deal with the current and future situations of your life. I see the same with the struggles of a black man, doomed at birth to a life of struggles and pain, in poverty which is already a curse, and then having to deal with the consequences of being in situations where no door opens for you, desperation and frustration take center stage in your life since young age, survival becomes more important than living, everything begins to hurt your pride, because you have been demeaned and devalued for the longest time all along. Everything begins to hurt.

@Husseinisdoingfine oh yeah yeah I'm a Leo Simp Nothing wrong with simping God. Actually better than simping humans.

I think one has to understand the factor of trauma here. Trauma itself is evil and unhealthy. On top of that strategies to cope with trauma are equally unhealthy. It turns into a vicious pattern. A pattern very difficult to escape and be freed from. People might think that there should be healthy ways to deal with trauma. But this is not true. Then all the people out there would choose organic food instead of junk food for comfort eating. It's the junk food that gives immediate relaxation or dopamine which organic food cannot. Similarly drugs, sex, crying, self harm, workaholism, violence, anger etc are also unhealthy ways to cope but nevertheless these are ways to cope. Healthy ways are not the first thing that help with coping. That's why abused women go back to abusers. That's why bullies abuse. That's why people do drugs. That's why people work to death That's why people develop different identities That's why people use drugs We might think in our minds that such behaviors do not help life rather destroy it. But this is exactly what self destructive people subconsciously do. They want to subconsciously want freedom from life, or the kind of life they had, in order to end pain In simple words, it's like... End pain. End life. People who have never been through significant trauma will never understand these behaviors and will always be puzzled by things that cannot be defined by normal human scope of understanding.

I think one has to understand the factor of trauma here. Trauma itself is evil and unhealthy. On top of that strategies to cope with trauma are equally unhealthy. It turns into a vicious pattern. A pattern very difficult to escape and be freed from. People might think that there should be healthy ways to deal with trauma. But this is not true. Then all the people out there would choose organic food instead of junk food for comfort eating. It's the junk food that gives immediate relaxation or dopamine which organic food cannot. Similarly drugs, sex, crying, self harm, workaholism, violence, anger etc are also unhealthy ways to cope but nevertheless these are ways to cope. Healthy ways are not the first thing that help with coping. That's why abused women go back to abusers. That's why bullies abuse. That's why people do drugs. That's why people work to death That's why people develop different identities That's why people use drugs We might think in our minds that such behaviors do not help life rather destroy it. But this is exactly what self destructive people subconsciously do. They want to subconsciously want freedom from life, or the kind of life they had, in order to end pain In simple words, it's like... End pain. End life. People who have never been through significant trauma will never understand these behaviors and will always be puzzled by things that cannot be defined by normal human scope of understanding.

Is that the reason why your body has been looking so buff these days?

@Preety_India I have to admit that talking to myself in this manner has been very satisfying. Better than arguing with others

@Preety_India Sometimes I feel like life should be led very scientifically and mechanically because that would make more sense than the tragicomical emotional chaotic lives that we lead. We have a biological body after all That would only make more sense. You become honorable in the eyes of God and God will reward you, trust me.

@Preety_India basically I need a factory reset.

@Preety_India in a way, I have found refuge in rap Both rap music and lyrics. There is a healing quality to it. I need a ton of healing and rejuvenation. I need a ton of mending and venting. I need a ton of isolation and freedom I need a ton of space to cope. And I need a ton of growth, motivation and love post healing.

@Preety_India one thing that I wanted to say to myself and make a firm resolve about was that I was never going to talk to anyone on here except those who casually talk to me. There's just no need to. I'm over and done with the dating section. I don't need it any more because my relationship Timeline came to an abrupt halt with my latest breakup (with Andrew). I've partially healed from the breakups with Andrew and Joseph so I can move on now and I don't have to ask questions regarding my relationships in the dating section anymore. All those dreams related to romance in life will be fulfilled in another world, a more perfect world. Not this one. (Stupid bitch) This world is only for survival and dealing with everyday and long term situations and problems. Pretty hardcore if you ask me. And not just dating, I'm pretty much done with the world in general as well. It's too much for me. Feels like torment

I also wanted to write about love hip hop and sad hip hop songs.

One word was venting.. Yes. Venting was very important. Internal release is what I will call it. But at the same time learning, developing and maturity is important as well Survival and maturity. Yes yes yes.... In the past few days I wrote a rap lyric which I will write here later or some day, I wrote it in my private journal and it was inspired by Tupac. And those rap lyrics were deep in spirituality and the truth I came to through that exploration was that life is about survival and maturity and emotional intelligence/emotional innocence. So yes, vent as much as you can and want. Release as much as you want. But remember survival and maturity.

@Preety_India The other day I was thinking about. I don't remember. Shucks Something like maturity. I should have jotted down when I got the thought.