Preety_India

Yeah there was a lot that I need to keep processing everyday. Like once you're done with processing stuff, you tend to focus on the next big step in your life. For me I had to process through so much in the past few months and it was all very fast for me. For all I know, I need to be faster than the speed at which I grow, because things happen before I can have enough time to process them.

One part of my psycho emotional processing was to be able to connect to my mean side so that I could use it to my survival advantage. How can I put out mean energy into the universe without actually harming anyone.

Also how to be a mean person. I will need to import some narcissistic traits to balance out the humble and empathetic side in me. Practice some Narcissism.

Because people do what they want to do. Not everyone is sane and wise enough to think about their children. It's like addiction. Why are people addicts? Doesn't that impair the quality of their life? Same way..

That's because nothing is decided in life and we can only navigate through life based on current paradigms and past experiences to guide us The human brain is trained to depend on memory for guidance. Marriage doesn't come with a guarantee. A marriage doesn't necessarily break down because someone is incompatible or bad. There can be many factors for why a marriage doesn't work anymore. And you cannot decide how a person is going to be in a marriage. Today they are committed, tomorrow they could be cheating.. You need your lifeboat in case of emergency. So you need to have plan B ready for circumstances in life.

This is a good sign.

Not everyone is born wealthy. If you don't want someone who is independent you better be prepared for providing them single handedly for a long time.

@Raptorsin7 I think being a super busy person applies to both men and women. And so it's going to be difficult to have a relationship with someone who is that busy, regardless of gender.

One observation that I made about career driven women is this and it's interesting. It's coming from older women in my neighborhood who are thrice my age. Some of these women were housewives and some of them had careers. whenever I observed their conversations, I saw that the women who were housewives always talked in childish ways, lot of immaturity and no knowledge about current trends and events and incapable of understanding the struggles of the present generation. They had no exposure and therefore far removed from the experiences of their children. And since they weren't able to relate, their solutions to present day situations faced by their children were completely out of touch with reality. Talking to them was like talking to a wall. These women also gossiped a lot more. However this wasn't the case with the women who had some sort of career while being married and raising children. They showed greater maturity and understanding of current social issues. They weren't into gossip and more into constructive analysis of situations and contributed much to a conversation, and funny, smart and oriented to seeking meaningful solutions to present day issues, they could easily relate to their children's problems and it wasn't very hard to make them understand modern day struggles. They were surely in touch with reality and did not say delusional things They were aware and far more informed than the other group of women.

@Natasha mah smacking mah leeps!

@Zeroguy I'd love a mango.

@vinc3nc no. This forum is directly helping me with my self development. It has been a huge blessing. I do the actual work when I'm away from it. It doesn't impact me Those who feel like they are not growing here that's because they aren't learning anything from here. But not my case. I learn plenty everyday which is necessary for boosting me. Thanks to the forum, I've grown emotionally and socially like by at least 30%. If you think that the forum is a distraction and isn't fit for you, then it probably isn't meant for you, then you should spend less time. Whereas for me, it's not a distraction. It's a boost.

I know that relationships can be beneficial but personally relationships are a huge waste of time for me.. I'm in my 20s, and I spent around 6 years in relationships with not much coming out of it but disappointment. In the end I felt like I became worse off than how I started out. It felt like utter failure and I own some part of the failure because I chose ill fitted incompatible people with commitment issues. If I had been with people who had the same seriousness with regard to commitment as me, I probably would have been in a much better place in relationships like - gotten married and settled and made good out of it, mutually growing with that person. The only 2 basic things that I desired in relationships was - compatibility and commitment. However both were lacking in all the 4 partners I had so far. One of the problems that could have precipitated such a situation was me falling in love hopelessly and spontaneously with all my heart and emotion without a single judgement or processing on other metrics like intellectual /mentality match or commitment match. Not accessing the relationship intellectually but making choices by following my heart. This led me to simply ignore any of the metrics necessary for the relationship I wanted to build and I believed that "heart based relationships " are always successful and everything else gets taken care of, as long as we both are in love, however this was not to be the case, and I suffered terrible disaster when the reality hit back in my face, obviously I do regret, although not entirely, because I also enriched myself with valuable life experience through these relationships, but I do regret being too imaginative and less objective in deciding the nature of my relationship and compatibility and I cannot be forgiven, because I kept making the same mistake over and over, not taking a break to understand or reflect, I severely lack self awareness and self reflection, which I only realized after my most recent breakup, something that I'm actively trying to work on, however spending 6 years uselessly this way, really makes me upset and regretful. Now I broke that curse finally and actually became aware of myself for the first time in 6 years, thanks to this forum, and actually knocked some sense into me and asked myself - what the hell is going on? Now I feel like it's finally time to take full charge of my life and actually not fall into the same cycle that I fell into nearly 4 times wasting huge amount of time. I can't get my time back but I definitely got my senses back. Finally. So I pondered on this recently and thought to give it up altogether, maybe it's not something worth devoting anymore time to, especially in my specific case. I do not wish to waste anymore time in this merry go around of seeking love, feels like a headless chicken following a line sometimes tbh. So I made this decision finally that the best option for a repeat offender like me is to stop seeking and start growing. Stay celibate for the rest of my life although I'm young but it still makes sense to not waste anymore time. I have decided to be single and celibate for the rest of my life. I want none of the baggage, in any form. And instead focus on self development. My main issue that bugs me is a set of questions which I haven't been able to exactly address Would I feel or get very lonely? Will this loneliness impact my growth? Is this an abnormal or weird or wrong decision, do people normally do this in some proportion? Will not having sex impact my life if I consciously avoid it? Will the lack of affection from a potential opposite sex partner impact my life and how so? Can we really live without love and sex and continue actualizing? Would this be a decision that I could come to regret? Did anyone have similar experiences and realizations and how are they coping with it if they are on similar paths? Thanks.

I think one of the issues that never gets talked about or is generally brushed under the carpet is the issue of unemployment due to mass immigration. It does lead to higher rates of unemployment especially for the rural youth who aren't every educated and the jobs are easily taken by immigrants who work hard and have the required education to get these jobs. This leads to higher unemployment rates for the underprivileged rural youth. But since such a topic would normally raise anti immigration sentiment, most mainstream media choose to ignore it. Anyone who brings up the issue in social media is usually labelled as racist, xenophobic and a bigot.

None of these are helpful.

How do you deal with someone who gets icy and cold and abruptly walks away. Someone who is friendly to you to get their job done and then suddenly shows their icy side when they no longer need you. Basically they show you their true colors and you realize they were a sham all along. Cheap and shallow with all their kindness talk. But behind closed doors they are a snake in the grass slithering their way into your life only to hurt you while walking out.

I call the inner self as the inner windmill. Every once of progress is going to be measured in certain terms. When the windmill operates, there is both energy and productivity. I'm going to use the term ecet to describe one unit of energy or motivation and pec to describe one unit of progress. And for the ship I'll use the term hycus

I call the inner self as the inner windmill. Every once of progress is going to be measured in certain terms. When the windmill operates, there is both energy and productivity. I'm going to use the term ecet to describe one unit of energy or motivation and pec to describe one unit of progress. And for the ship I'll use the term hycus

I love the idea of the windmill and the ship The windmill rotates slowly and steadily. It does this continuously. Producing energy. I liken this to the process of motivation. Motivation is a continuous process. It has to go on just like the windmill

This is stereotypical thinking. Not everyone thinks this way I never thought that men are attracted to strong independent women. I don't think that a man who is not attracted to her is weak either, everyone has preferences and they are going to have partners based on them. I want to have a genuine life purpose because I find it very fulfilling for my life, everyone has different desires and needs, not every woman is oriented to family making, a woman is not a monolith, we're humans and like every human, we all have different desires, there is no "why" to those desires they simply exist. Different women have different interests just like different men are in different fields I never came across a woman who had a certain life goal because of low self worth, in fact the opposite was true, women who had low self worth were not very invested in a life purpose or goal because they weren't confident enough to have a direction in life, remove the word woman for a second and simply focus on them as human beings and you'll find their actions are universal, even men with low self worth feel very hesitant about a fixed life purpose and roam around aimlessly, also the 9 cats thing. Those are all stereotypes. Married women keep cats too.

The ship and the sea

I'm going to connect these two journals The windmill journal and the ship and the sea journal The windmill journal reflects minor changes in my life whereas the ship and the sea journal reflects major changes in my life.