Preety_India

Success driven

Ok I thought about your answer for the last 30 minutes and I made a few observations A) I always feel scattered brained. Like a blurred picture. B) I always feel blank with any question Despite the difficulty above, I managed to draw a rough skeleton of what I want, my ultimate goals and scheme It's very scattered. This is how it looks Mastery Glory. Core or spiritual grounding Mastery Glory or growth Great working relationship with God. Love in action Embody love I want to be a hero Make my life an example that others can follow as inspiration I believe that the growth curve in my life should be trapezoidal. It should be start, vigorous growth, plateau and continuation Mastery. Both material mastery and spiritual mastery Glory. I want vigorous spiritual growth in myself.. Like a fountain. Growth and flourishing I want the completion stage of this growth curve to be sustenance -weathering storms, surviving and continuation after vigorous growth phase 4 core components (derived from above ) 1. Mastery and spiritual grounding 2. Growth and productivity 3. Sustenance 4. Embody and spread love

@BipolarGrowth Ok I thought about your answer for the last 30 minutes and I made a few observations A) I always feel scattered brained. Like a blurred picture. B) I always feel blank with any question Despite the difficulty above, I managed to draw a rough skeleton of what I want, my ultimate goals and scheme It's very scattered. This is how it looks Core or spiritual grounding Mastery Glory or growth Great working relationship with God. Love in action Embody love I want to be a hero Make my life an example that others can follow as inspiration I believe that the growth curve in my life should be trapezoidal. It should be start, vigorous growth, plateau and continuation Mastery. Both material mastery and spiritual mastery Glory. I want vigorous spiritual growth in myself.. Like a fountain. Growth and flourishing I want the completion stage of this growth curve to be sustenance -weathering storms, surviving and continuation after vigorous growth phase 4 core components (derived from above ) 1. Mastery and spiritual grounding 2. Growth and productivity 3. Sustenance 4. Embody and spread love

How exactly are you standing in your own way? Example?

@BipolarGrowth that's excellent advice. Thank you so much. I'll keep all those points in mind.

@Leo Gura do you ever have this fear that you have massive amount of unfinished work on your plate and your time is falling short for it and if you do, how do you deal with this fear/concern?

Maturity Empowered mindset for a victim Decent people These are core areas where I can direct my energy.

Maturity also involves meta thinking.

I need to focus on this word more often. I don't care if someone is talented or not, that's not a huge concern for me, talent does not sharpen character. Character does not induce talent. But being around decent people is s huge plus health wise. I'm not too selfish, I'm not looking to gain anything. So the only goal is to hang around decent folks.

When you know and realize that you're a victim your whole life changes.. You could be a victim of a psychological problem, you could have an illness, you could be a victim of a crime. You could have a personality disorder, on and on and on. The problem is that your mindset (and I mean my mindset ) does not match the condition. If you are a victim, your mindset needs to be fine tuned to your situation. This journal... I need to work around a mindset that empowers my victim state. It should be differentiated from normal perspective. Side note Writing is like cooking.. Add all. Writing is like drawing.... You don't have much to begin with. Writing is like building.... You can develop it and stack it. Writing is like crafting. Perfect the craft Writing is like singing.. It should have emotion and connection and substance Writing is like music... It should have rhythm and flow and pitch.

@Leo Gura I don't think it's a wise idea to have discussions with the likes of J Peterson or Harris because they will use you to trumpet their own goals, sort of one upmanship and they would defeat your ideas to win over their audiences. This will be bad for your brand in return. You don't want to end up looking like an underdog in their massive Fame driven engine created by their circle jerk fans. You might get dismissed very quickly. You'll need to find someone who is wholesome less famous and more open and receptive to your presence like the interview you did with Martin. You need a bit of practice before you go full on. I'd recommend that you should have long discussions right at the get go, because given your personality, the opportunities would be very few and so you need to make good of the few very opportunities you get. Btw what's the agenda or goal behind wanting to have such collaborations? Is it to get more audiences for Actualized Org, is it finding more material to make videos like collaboration videos in the future, is it Fame and popularity for Actualized Org like rebranding it or putting it on the map because you always used to say that you didn't want much mainstream attention for your work, at least that's what I heard.

@BipolarGrowth no I did not mean it that way. That would be like me asking for direct input regarding what I'm looking for. For example if I asked for material on mindfulness, you would provide me with all the material on mindfulness. But that's not what I meant. I want to know in a general sense how to know if something really resonates with my goals and issues without watching a video or reading a book. There is a temptation to read all sorts of random material. How should I tailor it to fit my needs where I know that whatever I'm looking through is matching well with what I want. Should I have a whole layout on key aspects of my goals and issues and only look for material that deals with it? By using keywords in Google and in Youtube? This is one way of doing it. What can be a better way of sorting through all the material and finding stuff that best suits my needs.

only focus on Leo and work https://www.actualized.org/forum/profile/10347-preety_india/ main forum table Implementation plan. I have a massive plan that is cumbersome right now but over time it will smoothen out and I'll streamline it. Remember House of Phrades. Start a journal on maturity. The first part of the plan is the plan itself. Looking at a map

I have to use the following energies to steer my ship forward The energy of love and intimacy The energy of higher consciousness The energy of primordial The energy of spirituality The energy of higher self .

I have to use the following energies to steer my ship forward The energy of love and intimacy The energy of higher consciousness The energy of primordial The energy of spirituality The energy of higher self .

Blackrose would make a lot of sexual comments around me. Just to get me aroused. He would touch me sometimes of course without my consent. One day I had this strong urge to sleep with him.. It was just this sexual tension that was so strong. I still hadn't figured out that he was my stalker. He was very protective of me. He just wouldn't let me go. He wouldn't let me feel alone. And I was slowly drawn to him One day he told me that he wanted to rape me and asked me how I would feel. And I was kinda nervous but I thought he was joking. I trusted him completely. It still never occurred to me that he was the stalker

I'm thinking about Blackrose. (this is fictional ) How he had chased me while I was doing coursework at a local university. He had been stalking me. I had left the place out of fear. I had now moved to another place. I had been living alone here. And now blackrose had changed his identity and he had done stuff to his face, he looked slightly different. He came to my house one day and I opened the door and he asked for help with the phone. Saying that he really needed to call someone. I let him in. After that he went on to tell me how he was looking for a place. I told him that I had a vacant room and he could live there and pay me rent and we could share the rent. He instantly agreed. Maybe it was my mistake to allow a stranger into my house but I didn't think much of it at the time.. I never recognized him.. In the beginning he was kinda very friendly and then a bit strict. He would sometimes come into the kitchen where he would make jokes or act flirty.. I didn't mind in the beginning But once I had an argument with a friend of mine. On the phone. And he came near me and hugged me and looked straight into my eyes. I was unable to say much and he drew me closer and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. It felt awkward because I had hardly known him... Nevertheless

@modmyth

@modmyth that's such a cute shirt. That's a special one. Keep it. You won't find a lot of shirts in the malls with cats on it. The only thing that cat doesn't have is a cardboard box lol.

It makes a lot of sense, the way I behave. I'm not an extrovert. I'm an introvert. I can't confront the way extroverts do. If I feel something then it's just within me and being confronted on it is not the same as resolution.

leaving forever there is a part in me that is super emotional. I'm not the gamer kind of person. I cannot sustain that. Either I'm there or not there. The burden is yours if you want to keep me. I usually guilt myself when I'm rude to someone, excessively so. However I don't guilt myself when I'm leaving forever, you know what I mean. If I saw that a person is bad to me and things are left unspoken unsaid, and there was grounds for things to work out, I won't take the risk of mending things, I'm hyper sensitive in that regard, I don't want to reconcile a friendship where I might still hold some hostility regardless of how nicer the other person has become, in relation to their past behavior with me, I don't want to reach that point of closure where I am nice to that person on top because they offered me some consolation, this creates even greater guilt in me, the guilt of being insincere, like I'm being nice to them superficially, yet holding resentment inside, this I do not want at all, if I ever have to be nice, it has to be sincere or NOTHING, which means either I'm sincere when I'm nice to you or I simply cut off completely, it's a burden on my conscience to do anything otherwise, in my mind being insincere in being nice to someone is worse than stabbing them directly in their heart, I won't play that gamble, I don't want those prizes, I don't wish to manipulate. So either I'm your friend or I'm nothing. I won't try to fix broken things. If it's broken, I will simply consider it ill luck and move on and never ever look back. That's what I call "leaving forever. " I just do not want to hurt anyone. It's not about holding resentment or grudge or being a stuck up bitch who doesn't relent at all, it's about not wanting to be in that place of confusion where I'm still not able to fully trust, and being in this place is a sort of a disservice to the other person, why be at all, whatever happened happened, it broke then it broke, things turned sour, things turned sour, I don't want keep rubbing salt into it, if it's over, its over, going back and forth only adds to the resentment, if there was something within you that you don't like about me, how hard can I keep trying to make you forget it, how much can I mend, if you just aren't willing to change it, anyhow if I tried, it would come off as manipulation, I don't want a closure where things are left unsaid and you and me still have things that both of us aren't happy about, why to put on a facade of friendliness, if I sensed that you don't like me, then I don't want you to be wishy washy about it trying to keep me in a grey area, I get it that certain things are not good either about me or you, but instead of dragging the pain and causing further insinuation, I simply choose to drop all contact and move away, far away like leaving forever I never come back. That's just not me. If I'm gone, I'm gone. It's not about me holding hate. It's not about me being full of myself. No. No hate. It's me just not wanting to sort through the hate. Me just wanting to leave things as they are and giving peace to both for lack of better things.

only focus on Leo and work https://www.actualized.org/forum/profile/10347-preety_india/ Main forum Table One way to gauge people is to look for genuineness. Genuineness in word Genuineness in intent Not only look for people who are sweet and decent in their exterior demeanor that is in words, but also look for people who are genuine in action That is when a situation arises that calls for appropriate action from a person who have always been claiming that they are the helpful sincere ones, prove their merit. That's genuine in intent.