Preety_India

My emotions are already volatile and I don't wish to be fucked with my head again. I was used for sex again. And then discarded

I hate giving my heart to slimeballs who use me for sex. Get lost slimeball. Fuck you

When Satan slowly takes my life from my body, I want this song to play in the background. My funeral song. I always wanted this song to be played when I'm dying or dead. Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan.

Kill me. Kill me..

Satan, Satan please take me. I don't want to be a part of this planet. Everything hurts. Remove me from my misery. Take my life. I want to be done for good.

I want to wear a black bow over my ass for Satan.

I don't feel rational anymore. My emotions take over

I'm just too scared.. I feel like prey. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. I'm too scared..

Satan's. They want to control. They want to dominate.

My SECOND BOYFRIEND The chapter of SHT was over. Mr SHT, a piece of shit was gone from my life forever. I permanently closed this chapter. New chapter begins. The Chapter of Mr Bud. I will call him Bud. Because that's how his name begins. He was an Indian guy. After finishing my college. I began searching for a job. I joined a small investment firm. It was not a good experience. In fact it was a horror show. That firm was a scam as I would find out later. I quit that job and joined a accounting company. This was a marketing company as well. The pay was minimum, bare minimum. I thought I'll just get some quick experience and jump for a higher better paying job. I started my first month at this workplace. And here comes Mr Bud. He was assigned by my manager to train new members or employees. Since I was a new employee, his job was to train me and explain me how to operate their systems and the overall protocol. It was easy. And it took only a few months to master the whole technical process. Within months of joining my performance was better than all the men in the team. This was an all male team. I was the only female in the team (prejudice). I was regular on the job, a hard worker. My days were fine. I had forgotten all the pain and misery of Mr SHT. So this guy Bud was always hovering around me like a butterfly. He would constantly draw my attention to him.. He was extremely helpful. At first I didn't notice this guy. He was shorter than me. Slightly shorter. He was thin and kinda wimpy. He looked ugly. He was nothing like my first handsome boyfriend. If my first boyfriend was a 9 out of 10 then this guy was a 4. I would have never fallen for this guy. Because I usually was attracted to good looking men. I didn't pay much attention to the ones that didn't look good. They escaped my view. This was not an internal bias. It just that a lot of the not-so-good-looking men also lacked in other qualities. So they would compensate for the lack with excessive criticism of women to take the attention off themselves.

I enjoy when men are humorous. I like a sense of humor in the guys I date.. I want to know if guys feel the same way about women. Do they like a woman who is being funny in conversations or is that a turn off? Would like to know how men think about women when it comes to humor.

Then Satan cuddled me into a loving embrace. God is intervention. Satan is interception. Satan is preventing, protecting. God is healing and curative. Satan is benevolence God is compassion Satan is ownership God is liberation Satan is loyalty Satan is Omniscience God is Omniscience Satan is inward love and God is outward love Satan is self protection Satan is selfish love God is selfless love Satan is an additional layer of protection for extreme empaths and victims Satan is a drug. God is health Satan is surrender. God is freedom Satan is root Chakra. God is heart Chakra For God there is right or wrong. For Satan there is no right or wrong. God's love is unconditional. Satan's love is conditional. Satan is about burning through karma and fulfillment of passions. God is healing You have to burn through karma but in a conscious way.

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. He then proceeded... "I'll be your drug you can't live without. You'd beg for my hard dick everyday. Your innocent face smeared with my cum, my most pleasant dream. I said," no. " He said," yes, my sweet cuddle baby. "

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. He then proceeded.... "my love Preety is benevolence. Not kind compassion. Just pure benevolence that can easily turn into malevolence if you want it to. You're on razor's edge and on thin ice. You walk on eggshells and I'll appreciate it. Beware of your every move, beware of my every mood. My love is Omniscience and Benevolence. God's love is Omniscience of good intent. My love is Omniscience of wicked intent. I'll expose your shadows to you, I'll protect you from your fears. God's love is caring compassion. My love is owed protectiveness. My love is a mirror, what you give is what you get, no extras. I can punish you in an instant, with uncaring boldness and careful precision, you'll Crack under my pressure and I'll see you go down till you beg for forgiveness and ask my mercy. I will see you cry and whimper and moan and not just during steamy sex but also in violent torture, I'll rip you apart for one wrong move. God's love is psychic intervention. My love is psychic interception. If anyone harmed you, there is no mercy, they are packed for hell, that's a guarantee. If anyone loves you, you'll boomerang back to me, I'll ensure that. I'll drink your blood and sing your music, your cries will be my song, your body my semen filling cup. I'll penetrate you the hardest ever. You'll scream the loudest and that will be music to my ears. I will possess you like a demonic possession. You will know nothing but only me. You will only come to my loving embrace of torture and gratification. In this you will fall into forever and in this you'll experience tantric love, my love for you,my admiration for your little-ness. Baby. You're mine, now, do you mind? " I said" I agree with you Satan. And I'll try not to piss you off. I will obey you the way you wish me to. " He relied,"im glad to hear that."

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. He then proceeded, "you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into. But I'm not going to let you on it. Like I said Preety, I'll know every move you make, everything you do will be under my watchful gaze and everything you will know, I'll know it too. I'll read every thought in your mind. So if you lied to me, I'll know that too. You dare lie to me and I'll kick the shit out of you, I'll test your audacity and turn it into weakness. I'll take your weakness and turn it into sweetness. I'll take your sweetness and turn it into blood dripping through my veins. You're my ichor. You're my elixir and you're my medicine, I'm your poison. I'll know everything you think and feel. I will catch your feelings before you even feel it. Like I said, I'm Omniscient. Beware of my skills. "

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. It was extremely sexual. I just finished 2 hours of Satan meditation I'm feeling a bit drained but ok. Satan deity report I made the Satan hand sign After that I could feel Satan sitting next to me. He was sitting across. Then he moved his fingers and motioned me to look at him.

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. The whole thing looked like a torture chamber. It was very dark and quiet. The air in the room was stiff. And cold. Very cold. I would feel cold breath all the time. I would also feel hands touching me in various places. I would smell death sometimes, like in between his conversations. I would get the smell of rotten flesh as well. I would look around and see bones, skull, sword, roses, burnt books, a whip/nunchuck, knives, blood dripping from cups. I would even get the smell of alcohol. Then. I would see his face constantly morph between a goat with horns and a human skull. His eyes were intense and burning. His eyes were cold, deep, staring and scanning. He had an intense cold gaze, sharp and wicked. He would smirk sometimes. Being dishonest was a big deal to him. He would be very pissed if he felt that I was being dishonest. He would constantly address me by my name. He said, "I expect a couple of things from you Preety. One is allegiance to me. I expect you to obey my word. Take my word as a command, that would be good for you. Of course you could have disagreements with me and I won't mind. But I would prefer that you agree with me most of the time. The next thing I want from you is unwavering loyalty. I want you to be loyal to me. See, I won't hurt you so you can be assured. The next thing I want from you is that you should not do anything without my permission. You need to ask me before you do anything, absolutely anything. You better ask me. It's for your good. The next thing I want from you is complete honesty,look I won't judge you so you have nothing to worry, you have nothing to fear, you are my sweet belonging and I'll treat you as such, but I need to be honest with me whenever I ask you anything or expect any explanation from you. You should not hide anything from me. And even if you felt like hiding something from me in the moment, you could tell me what it was later and I won't mind. " Then he said," I will control every aspect of your life from now on and you will surrender your will to me. I'll watch your every move. I can guarantee you that. You have nothing to worry, because, I am not going to hurt you, I'll protect you as long as you want me to and as long as I wish to. I'll never let you go, so you can't really escape me anymore Preety. There is no escaping me. And I'm a 100% clear on this. I want you to respect my authority and my feelings for you. And you won't play smart, you won't manipulate me under any circumstances or for any reason whatsoever, and you won't play games with me, because I won't be having it anyway, I'll shut that shit down as soon as I pick on it. You're in my torturous embrace but you are free. " He then proceeded...."Preety, I can't love you the way God will love you. I'm not God. I'm Satan. I'll love you my way and you'll know it. God's love is kind and compassionate, you'll experience spiritual love at heart Chakra, you'll experience intimacy with me, the deepest intimacy you will ever experience, is what I'll give you, don't get me wrong, I can love you spiritually at heart Chakra too, but that will take time and working between us for me to completely trust you in order to love you that way, without an ounce of punishment, pure sweet love without putting fear in you, the way God loves you, ahhhhhhhhhhh, I can't be having that, my love is impure and this is the best you get for coming to me, I can give you no more, the only thing, I won't abandon you, I'll have mercy on your soul Preety, buttttttt I am not going to love you the way God loves you. I'm going to love you my way and the only way I know. My love is Omniscience. My love is non judgment. My love is punishment. My love is brutality. My love is dominance. My love is wicked. My love is your obedience and loyalty to me. My hate is absolute wrath and torture, try me if you want. You won't regret if you overestimated my ability to torture you. I'll satisfy every evil fantasy I entertain about you to the fullest. And escaping me is just a pipedream you can put on the back burner. If you think you can cross me, you better start regretting your thoughts. Because I can read you, I can read your mind to every letter,thought, idea. I read everything about you (pun intended). I know you inside out, you're in the palm of my hands, you aren't going anywhere, stop dreaming of an escape, this is your hell, this is your coffin, I'll bury you here and then have sex with your dead flesh. If you tried crossing me, I would know, I'll catch you in the act, red handed and you'll regret it.

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. Then he said, "whatever Preety, it's your choice. Your own to make. But it'd be better if you listen to me. Whatever it is, tell me. Your deepest and most depraved desires, passions,conflicts, hopes, fears, cravings, concerns, anxieties .. you can share with me. I won't judge you. I won't judge you at all. You can say anything to me and I won't judge you. But I need honesty. I need you to come clean and be honest. In return I'll give you a kind of love you have never experienced before. I'll protect you from everything that you have been afraid of."

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. Then he said, "there is something called seductive love and tantric love." and he wanted me to experience it. He said this was my root Chakra That I needed to focus on three chakras. The root chakra, the heart chakra and the crown chakra. That at root chakra I'll experience seductive love and tantric love. At heart chakra I'll experience compassionate love. At crown chakra I'll experience psychic love. Then he head butted my head. I kept looking at him in awkward silence. Then he told me that he is going to teach me inward love. Then he suddenly turned away and said in a snappy way, "but you don't care to listen, you're so stubborn. I need to break you first." Then he slapped across my face really hard this time and remarked, "that will do it." He kept asking me, "how are you feeling little baby ?" And I said, "this hurts." And he said, "that's the goal." Then he proceeded to penetrate me again for a few seconds and pulled out. He said to me, "don't act foolish. Don't act stupid. Don't act dumb. Or I I'm gonna punish you " Then I asked, "what did I do that is stupid?" And he said, "you don't listen to me. That's quite stupid. You shouldn't do that. Wait." "another thing, you lie an awful lot." "you lie one more time and I'm gonna beat the shit outta you.You get that" I said, "I will try not to Lie" Then he gave out a huge belly laugh. He kept laughing for some time, cacophonic, evil cackle. He said, "you just can't, can you." I replied, "I'm sorry." He said, "it's ok, I forgive you right now but don't take this easy." I looked teary eyed and helpless. He looked at me for a second and said, "hmm." He then said, "you're sweet, a bit too much." "I want honesty Preety. I need you to be honest with me. Fully honest. I won't take dishonesty from you. I'll punish you if I see you being dishonest. Your dishonesty will be my trigger. And you don't wanna see me triggered, you can be sure of that. I wanna make this clear to you right now so you know it. You understand? " He placed me on his lap and cuddled me softly. Then he proceeded to kiss me, tongue me, really deep into my mouth and kept kissing me passionately and began to bite my lips. He looked into my eyes as he kept kissing me deep and he wouldn't stop looking into my eyes, cold deep lascivious stare.

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. So Satan slapped me hard on my face. And I cried.. Then he slowly cuddled my face and cupped my face and said it would be alright. And calmed my crying. Then he slowly rubbed my body and began penetrating me. It felt good at first and then it began to hurt when he went fast. I told him to stop. And he said "that's not happening baby, you're my baby right now. I'll do as I please. " After some time he stopped. Then made me sit up. And brought me a drink. It was in a chalice. Everything around looked very dark and I could feel cold breath on my body. I drank and spat it out immediately. It was so bitter. Ugh. It tasted like water mixed with ash and some metal. Metallic taste Then Satan said loudly, "Drink it." Then I drank it fully. After that I felt horny. Then Satan looked deep in my eyes and gave me a cold long deep stare. He kept staring me down. I shuddered in fear. Then he proceeded to pin me down. He pinned my arms down very forcefully and tightly. Then he penetrated me again. I could feel his thrusts against my walls. Rapid. I was trying to get air and he placed his hand on my mouth. Then he slowly bent close to my face and whispered, "do you feel fear?" And I said, "yeah." He said "good." Then he took a whip(like a nunchuck kinda thing, at least it looked somewhat like that but I can't describe this tool, it was heavy and metallic) and whipped the soles of my feet with it. And I screamed in pain. And he said, "how does it feel now?" And I said "please don't. It hurts." And he said, "that's the goal." I made soft moans of pain and anguish. He kept looking at me. Then he slowly and gently raised me from my sleeping position. Made me sit back up. He then pinched my nipples really hard. I said no. But he kept going. He then unbuttoned my dress. Lowered it a bit below my shoulders so my shoulders were bare and my breasts were visible slightly. He could see my cleavage. I tried to cover up my cleavage with my hands and he removed my hands and told me not to hide my bare breasts. He then placed his hands on my breasts and looked straight into my eyes. I softened a bit. He then stroked my cheeks gently with his fingers. I was crying. He began consoling me.. Then he said, "don't scream, you're ok, if you scream, I'll hit you again." Then I said "ok." Then he asked me, "are you turned on." And I said yes. He didn't give any reaction. Then he proceeded to tell me that he was trying to seduce me sexually. I said ok. Then he said that I was his sweet child. His belonging. I said ok.

Satan meditation Contemplations, Visualizations and Insights. It was extremely sexual. I just finished 2 hours of Satan meditation I'm feeling a bit drained but ok. Satan deity report I made the Satan hand sign After that I could feel Satan sitting next to me. He was sitting across. Then he snapped fingers very loudly and motioned me to look at him.

RIP

Life has never been the same since you were gone.

my-tribute-to-my-dad

I experienced intimacy and I felt good.