Preety_India

Rory inspires me to be a genuine and kind and grounded person.

Please don't call the guy a fool or other adjectives. I see a terrible lack of respect on this thread.

By now I've collected quite a few characters. Character list (is bigger than this) Xyme Zaiden Vxs Wrett Porco Moonwolf Whitehead Rory

I just love this.

The most beautiful thing in the world............... A cat.

After reading some of the comments I'm a bit disgusted but I'll keep to myself.

I would rather die alone or I think a better way to put it that will sound less brutal is that I better opt to remain single than being with multiple partners. I believe in the sanctimony of monogamous relationships.

Neither is suicide a cowardly act nor a selfish one. And it is not some romantic fantasy either It's just hard and cold.

@jimwell exactly

@sda look suicide is not a matter of judgement. If I died the last thing I would want is people discussing whether it was right or wrong I would simply want people to empathize with my situation and offer compassion for my soul. That's all. Is this hard ? Who are we to decide if what the person did is right or wrong ? Most likely it's wrong because it's hurtful But the point is not about deciding whether it's right or wrong but understanding why and how it happened and how it could have been prevented and offering understanding, love and compassion and respect to the deceased for their action. Nobody likes to die. Suicide is just another cry for help, the ultimate cry for help when it's too late. Can we judge someone for crying ?

@charlie cho people do things for their own reasons. Not everything is about selflessness, selfishness, judgement yaada yaada

Do self empowerment exercises. This forum will completely forget the Suicide. Don't I know this ?

say loudly everyday to this forum- I DON'T CARE. Yessssssssss. Just don't care what people have to say on this damn forum. Do not care what people think about you..say it loud. I DO NOT CARE.

Please understand that the family is reading this Attacking the guy should be against the ethos of this forum Shame on some of you Have compassion for the deceased. This forum makes me angrier

I always think of Kurt Cobain whenever I think of suicide. He was born on February 20 and I was born on February 21. We are both Pisces. We can go into deep dark moods when things are going wrong

(Trigger warning) I had also told myself that If I had to die I would have died Kurt Cobain style. I would have blown off my head with a gun. Because that's instant and quick. But guns aren't available in my country. They are only available in the US Often times I thought I would travel to US to commit suicide. That would be so easy Here I can't get guns and there is no bridge. I remember in 2017, when I was suicidal, I begged my Ex Indian boyfriend to please find me a bridge. A bridge suitable for jumping off I didn't find any nearby. He told me that I'll need to travel through some cities to find an ideal bridge I had made multiple Google searches on trying to locate a suitable place to commit suicide that year. And I remember doing these searches once again in 2019 because my mom was ready to throw me out. I remember in the month of March this year, my sibling calling me and asking me why I didn't die sooner..that was a very sad time . My mom especially encouraging me to commit suicide.

Suicide is actually hard topic for me. Many reasons why. One thing my cat was murdered when I was 14/15. My dad died many years ago. My aunt committed suicide because she genetically suffered the same problem that my dad did and she didn't have the money to deal with it I was suicidal at 18. That was my first experience. My first attempt at suicide was slashing myself 2 months after my father's death. After that the depression caused by my father's death (combined with the cat and childhood abuse from mother) threw me into a downspiral of depression, PTSD and self harm that lasted a decade until now after my father's death. Coping is very difficult and lonely. So I cope with imaginary characters, friends and imaginary lovers. My exes only made my suicidal condition worse, not better

I'm actually high on the Suicide list. Because I have battled it all my life. I have been suicidal for half of my existence. Yet I have survived some how . Suicide is not easy, let me tell you . It's a very strong urge that people don't understand. I have written multiple times in my various journals how I have been suicidal. Being suicidal is not a one time thing It stays with you for a really long time. It's like a disease, an affliction. However I can say that I won't commit suicide so easily. Having battled with it for so long, I have gained a tiny bit of immunity against it. I had been kept on suicide watch at some points during teenage days in school. If I ever feel suicidal again, which I often do, it's usually over something that is life threatening like money issues etc. Like a few months ago I was suicidal because my mom was in the hospital and I couldn't pay the bills. Yea that kinda stuff. Hard to deal with

The whole suicide stuff in the meditation forum is bothering me I made this thread exactly 1 hour before that thread was made I couldn't have known that someone was going to post something like that So I felt a bit nervous when I read that thread because I was precisely going to write about death today and the topic was looming over my head since past 14 hours. What a weird coincidence? Unbelievable.

In death there is peace. To live is to be in restlessness. In death there is a beautiful peace. Untouched by life's ruinations.

I would actually expect Leo to appear a little more often in the emotional section of the forum It gives a bad feeling when he is rarely there as though he is looking down on people with emotional issues. I understand that he is not a professional expert in such matters but even saying to someone that they should not commit suicide or self harm. If it helps it helps. I wish he did that. Im not saying regularly. But at least once a week in that section would look like he cares and doesn't look away from people who got emotional issues I mean this is a self development forum. It can look pretty demonizing to ignore emotional issues. It is a part of self development after all. Once a week appearance is not asking for too much.

I am a suicidal person on this forum. And Leo is very right about whatever he said above I have been battling suicidal thoughts since my teenage. However this forum has helped me stay afloat. Whenever I had those thoughts I wrote them in my journal or tried seeking help in the emotional support section. Yea 3 years being on this forum I reduced my suicidal tendency down by 60%. Not enough but significant progress. I cannot vouch that I won't commit suicide in the future as that is not a guarantee. Being suicidal is like living with diabetes. There are highs and lows. Some periods are suicide-thought free and some are very intense. It's an episodic problem but with constant care it can be managed. Without this forum, it would have been much harder for me to control my suicidal ideation, I could have resorted to self harm. In past 3 years my self harm incidents have been limited to 2. Which is great,given I have a long history of self harm. Just being on the forum has helped to keep suicide thoughts away a great deal even without asking members. Even if I did bad things, I will never blame the forum for it, because the forum actually helped me stay away from bad things.

Now that I'm dead, I'm finally free. Free of being attached to this fucker called life. Free of attachment. Full in acceptance. Now that I'm dead, I see life as a joke

Whitehead sings me melodies. Who knew that Death was going to be my liberator ? Now I understand why I was so attracted to all the bad stuff and abuse and evil. In my heart I desperately wanted to die in a bid to release myself from suffering. That's why my heart wanted all the self destructive things They were all meant to crystallize into the angel of death. The road was always there. The signs were always there. I just couldn't see far off in the distance, that is all. I only chose to look at the signboards next to me and forgot where the road led in the straight way ahead. I looked at things that were ultimately going to point me towards the Angel of Death.

Like a spirit I wandered in the graveyard lonely and unfulfilled. In pain and sadness. Until the guardian angel of death came to me and had mercy on my soul. He gave him refuge, a place to stay in his death cave. He fed and clothed me. He gave me water to drink. He watched me as I cried and wept..in solitude my heart had turned to despair, hopeless and suffering, alone and helpless. Caught and trapped. Is how I felt all my life.. Whitehead understood me. He is powerful because he is the angel of death. He told me no harm will ever come to me because I'm in spirit form right now. He understands that I was rejected, abandoned, failed, unprotected, wronged. He knows that my family left me to die alone, that all my life I never felt accepted or respected or valued or appreciated. He told me that life is unfair but death brings perfect peace. He tells me that I'm in peace right now, in his arms there is complete peace. I'm surprised and shocked. How could I have not known this that Death is a liberator..That death is the solution to every problem in life, to every suffering. That death was the answer to all of my restlessness all along. Now it's a new birth. A new beginning because all the restlessness has ended, hasn't it? Me and Whitehead laugh together in the wilderness. Because I'm away from the childish sick games of the world, freed from torment, wild and carefee, as I always wanted to be. Whitehead brings out the innocent child in me. He shows me what a mockery life is. What a joke the world is .. In him I find ultimate peace and liberation from my restlessness. He can finally put me to sleep.