Preety_India

I can feel you in my breath in my spirit. I'm deeply in love once again. The way I. It's beautiful. I'm giddy

This is jumbled lol.

All I want

Trust me.. Trust me Trust me I love loving you.

Everything is so funny....... With Devon

Nice song.......

Tears and fears................

Babloo calm down Tears can turn into pearls. Pearls can become music.

I'm crying. I'm breaking down so badly. I can't take anymore.

I don't believe in solipsism

Devon devon Devon He is like the male version of.... Omg this shit is hilarious as Fuck And I had called him Mr T. Didn't I describe him to the T? God, I found my soulmate. Now i understand the karmic connection completely. After all it had to be a male version. LMAO. I'm laughing hard right now. He acts like a soulmate. Exactly as I had envisioned. God he loves me. Sometimes sympathetic, sometimes retributive, sometimes protective and most importantly very intimate with me. He would call lol... Just like that one. And I feel so relaxed. Also he gives me lots of affection and has empathy for me.

I don't remember anything.

Something in me was attracting these April guys. Maybe an April fool's joke, who knows. Maybe Pisces love the stability and pragmatism of an Aries because Pisces is so dreamy dreamy. Some Aries are strong, robust. Depends on which quadrant they are born. If you have an Aries from the first or second week of April you have an aggressive bull Aries. These guys like SHT can be very domineering, make their own rules, bend to nothing and are calm but stiff. Stubbornness is a hallmark quality of both Aries and Taurus. But Bud was born in April but wasn't an Aries. He was born on April 25, he was a Taurus. Bud was very stubborn, one of the reasons that lead to our eventual falling out. I can't stand stubbornness in a man. When it comes to important things, a man can stand his ground, but when little things are involved, a man should let go his ego and pride and be a bit attentive to his gf. Guys who are too stubborn put me off. I don't see them as husband material. So Bud was the most stubborn man out of all the men I dated. I had been working for a few months at this new workplace. And Bud was constantly vying for my attention. One day Bud changed his cabin and replaced another person there. This was a guy I used to never get along with. He was cringey. He used to mock me, harass me. Once he even stretched my arm and forcefully removed my bracelet and kept dangling it in the air. In any other country this would have been considered sexual harassment. I really had problems with this dude. He was obsessed with me.

My SECOND BOYFRIEND So Mr Bud gave me an umbrella for free that still sits in my room. Gradually I started getting attracted to Mr Bud. He was funny, extremely funny, made me laugh. He wouldn't stop gawking at me. And I would laugh looking at him. Much of the time we would share some silly banter. He was a bit feminine. I would call him a beta guy. He behaved a lot like most beta guys He wasn't dominating. He wasn't aggressive. He didn't have male pride or ego. Just a humble guy. He was born in the month of April. Somehow I was always attracting these April men.. Even SHT was born in April

My SECOND BOYFRIEND I saw that men who weren't good looking also lacked confidence. And a lack of confidence in a man was a huge turn off for me.. A man that looked confident also looked more manly to me. So Bud was a little guy who was almost like a jester. Always around me, playing pranks on me while I would be seriously immersed in work. I had a terrific work ethic. I would never miss a day. Always on time. Finishing all my work on time. would never talk much to anyone. All the males in the team were infatuated with me. I could sense it. They would try to flirt with me but I would pay no attention at all. A part of the reason was that I had come to negatively perceive men after the experience with SHT. It had traumatized me. I viewed men as perverted sex machines who only wanted a woman for something, That thing. And I thought men weren't capable of giving, only capable of taking. ) For now I had a very low opinion of men. That's why I never responded to any of the flirting. Bud started to up his game with me. He would flirt every day. His attention was non stop. Frankly I was enjoying it. I started to see him as a good guy. He was very helpful to everyone. Bud was the kind of guy who could take the shirt of his back and give it to others. He was extremely helpful. He wasn't kind but he was very helpful. He was very annoying, like an annoying joker character. He looked like a joker and walked like a joker. He would make people laugh, go the extra mile to please people. He was constantly trying to please me. I could easily see it. Soon word started circulating in the office that there is something going on between him and me. Anyway I didn't pay attention to that.

My SECOND BOYFRIEND One day I was talking about umbrellas. And I wanted a specific type of umbrella that opens and closes automatically. I was discussing this with the colleagues because they wanted to get one as well. Suddenly Bud stepped in and offered to get one for me. I politely declined. He kept insisting for a really long time So I finally said ok. I told him that I pay him for the umbrella. He said fine. A week later, I was sitting in the office cabin and typing something on the office computer. Bud came in and started showing everyone in the office the stuff he got when he was on vacation. And he pulled out an umbrella and came to me and kept it next to my computer. I was just startled. I immediately asked how much I needed to pay him for it Normally it would cost something like $10 for that one. He said it was ok, he didn't want the money. I felt a bit embarrassed and I removed the money from my wallet and I handed him the bucks. He just wouldn't accept it. I was frustrated and I sat back in my place. I asked him why he wasn't accepting the money. He said that his mom always told him to never accept money from strangers that you're trying to help. I was like ok... Never heard of it before. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Now India is made of so many different cultures that differ from state to state, so I thought maybe in his culture this is how it goes. I said ok and forgot the whole thing. But I remembered him helping me. I still have his umbrella to this day and it's a red colored umbrella. It sits in the corner and I never use it. I used it when I was in the relationship with him. But after I broke up with him, I never used it because I didn't want to be reminded of him.

True freedom is freedom from your own demons.

I just want to be calm right now

I don't like to badmouth people.

Just be myself and maintain focus on other things.

It's ok. I need to be forgiving in my heart.

Just focusing on beautiful things for now.

I deserve peace And I'll never talk again