Preety_India

(sometimes no opinion is the best opinion) Right now my mind is racing at a terrible speed. My typing speed does not match my thinking or speaking speed. I feel like exploding. I wish I had a recorder because by the time I write or type, my ideas slip out of my brain.. I want to write this week about authentic genuine expression with another person and establishing intuitive genuine harmony with them. I hate spiritual bypassing.

I'm also going to talk about fatal self esteem which I left out last time..

But I would like rehash all of these together since they are all very scattered so I see pieces here and there I will bring them together under one banner here and call it the context of my life This all is going to be a bit long and exhausting.

The importance of Purity and fake values. I like this guy so much. This guy is so honest

Spaceship Visualization ???? I can't imagine how people manage under zero gravity. How must it feel to be in there with no gravity to hold you. It gives me the tickles. Just floating around in space. Imagine if the window opened and you climbed out of the window and what's gonna happen to you. How would you feel in outer space. I just get all these goosebumps over my body simply imagining being in outer space But If I'm there, I think I'm gonna feel cool. It will feel like a nice pleasant feeling being away from all the stress of living among people and all the pollution and drama and all politics of human existence. Free from social pressure and social worries. Free from thoughts of relationships and status and career. Free from all the rules. Just pure freedom. Just freely floating in nothingness and appreciating the beauty of being alive. Nice and free. What a pleasant dream!

I'm sorry I don't know much about tantra. Except for the link and info on the internet. I'm myself trying to explore tantric sex. So maybe in the future I will know a little more. Also I will try to practice tantric sex with my boyfriend somewhere in the future if he is comfortable..then I will know how it exactly works I'm open to sexual experimentation with him. He is as well Forgot to add hecatean or hecataine into the types. I'm a Hecataine as well. There is something wrong about life. Life is bad.. Life is horrible. We live in darkness. This is not life. We need light. We all need light We need light. Something needs to show us light Without that light, we are in a vicious cycle. A cycle of desperation Watch out Think about all the people who suffered. Think about their pain. Think about those who were lost and left behind, who were suffering, deprived, helpless with nowhere to turn. When I think about them I get tears in my eyes. I think that as humans we are too physical to deal with life. And life is a deeply spiritual phenomenon. And we as physical beings are not equipped to deal with it.

Elemental witch - The Elemental Witch, as the name implies, invokes elemental energies as an empowering force for magical goals. They use the Elemental Quartet namely Earth, Air, Water and Fire I use all elements since I resonate with all elements. Under the Elemental Witch we have different categories representing different sentiments and ideas or qualities to which the witch can have an affinity or she could be a general elemental witch like me. Solitary witch - this simply means that the witch practices her craft and magic on her own. Some witches belong to a hierarchical group called coven. I don't belong to a coven. I do my stuff alone so I'm a solitary witch. Solitary witches make their potions and spells and can write their own book of shadows. My goal is to write my own book of shadows. A grimoire is a general book that most witches follow. Right now I don't have a grimoire. I just want my own book. Divination witch - they deal with divination or fortune telling. Tarot cards Palmistry I Ching Tasseography This interferes with my Christianity as in the Bible there are references against divination. So I only do this on a minimal scale. I have a pendulum which I use. But generally I work with my several tarot decks that I created in my journals Gardnerian witch - I'm a Gardnerian witch. I follow the Horned God. Dianic witch - these are similar to Gardnerian, they are more feminine and only worship goddesses. Garden witch - same as green witch, but will work more in gardens rather than open spaces. Forest witch, elf witch - this is my own category. It's similar to green witch but there I combine fantasy art of Elves into this practice. Alexandrian witch - this was started in the 60s by Alex and Maxine Sanders and the Gods are different from Gardnerian traditions Elven witch - not popular, very few witches that I was in contact with used elves as inspiration. I use this some times. Dragon wicca. - dragon wicca is a very rare form of Wicca which I practice. I consider a dragon my twin guardian. I created the Character Sairys and Porsairys using Dragon Wicca. It's somewhere lost in my journals. Swan Wicca - this is own personal brand of Wicca I created in the month of September/October 2018. I call it Swan Wicca.. I wasn't very satisfied with the current forms of Wicca and they weren't enough for me so I created my own brand of rituals, spells and tarots. And I labeled it Swan Wicca. It's my sacred practice and I don't share it. If I write a book of shadows in the future, I will share Swan Wicca in it. All in all, I try to follow and incorporate every form of witch in my life. This is reflected in the various interests in my journals. All of which are witchcraft related. My whole life is about it since I adopted Wicca

The religious aspect and witch aspect of Me I will give a small summary on my religious background and then proceed to explain the different types of witches. I'm born a Hindu with some Catholic influence as a child. My father had faith in Christianity and he used to take me to church.. My school was in the church itself and the school principal was the Father of the church I used to go to. I used to pray to Christ as a child. When I grew up, I still retained both my Hindu and Christian roots. At some point because of a statement of Pope Francis in September 2018,I tried to look away from Christianity because I was disappointed in Pope Francis but my boyfriend Joseph who was an American Catholic encouraged me to not leave Christianity because of the Pope. So I wandered around a bit and got into Wicca during this period. Wicca gave me a base to sustain without Christianity for some time but then I had the hunger to return to Christ. I knew my depart would be temporary. I was looking for true Christianity and not the Joel Osteen type of Christianity, that is prosperity gospel. I gave up Prosperity Gospel because it didn't serve my purpose. At the same time Martin Luther the German monk changed my view on traditional Catholicism and I decided to adopt the Lutheran style or Protestantism, my knowledge of Christianity is still not full, and I needed a strong background to return back to Christianity, that's when by accident I came across Justin Peters ministry and I became a member and then I began to follow John F. MacArthur I started using Justin Peters teachings and successfully mounted myself back into Christianity, this time with a firm foundation and no false teachers or money hungry pastors. At the same time I realized that Wicca could be in conflict with Christianity so I stayed away from divination practices in Wicca, although currently I think it's okay to do divination and I might pursue divination in the future. The good news for me is that the attitude of Americans is changing towards Wicca and very recently the Nevada state okayed the Wiccan symbol on the grave of veteran Sgt. Patrick D. Stewart, he was a follower of the Wiccan religion. This article gives me hope for the future of Wiccans in America. At least the American government approved our sacred symbol https://www.nysun.com/national/feds-okay-pentagrams-for-veterans-graves/53114/ Witches across America are rejoicing after the Veterans Administration agreed to permit service members to have their graves at military cemeteries marked with a Wiccan symbol known as a pentacle or pentagram. OK now I finished my background on my religious struggle.. Coming to types of witches. These are the main types of witches Kitchen witch Hedge witch Cosmic witch Green witch Garden witch Sea witch Elemental witch Solitary witch Divination witch Gardnerian witch Alexandrian witch Dianic witch Forest witch Elven witch Dragon Wicca. Swan Wicca ( I'm the creator/founder of this Wicca, this is my own and personal, not that others follow) Kitchen witch - kitchen witch is an informal term for a witch who emphasizes cooking, food, and meal times in her magical practice. Cooking Home routines Homemade offerings Cleansings Protection spells Hedge witch - the Home and the hearth. She will take care of the home and main interest will be healing her home. This is a house witch. Cosmic witch - Astrology Zodiac signs Horoscopes Uses Celestial energy. I work with astrology myself. Not professional. Just for myself as a hobby. I learn about it every day. Green witch - loves nature and the earth Also called flora witch. Works with trees, herbs and flowers. Plants. Skilled herbalist and makes herbal remedies. Enjoys hiking /trail walking Loves animals and wildlife. You can see in my journals I write and post a lot about animals.. Enjoys gardening and wild crafting - I enjoy gardening a lot Environmentally friendly Atttune with Earth's natural cycles Has an apothecary full of herbs, roots and oils. Can have interest in fae fairies or elves. I have interest in elves. In one of my journals I have focused on different costumes and styles of elves. I have elven fantasies. It's a sign that I'm a forest witch. Sea witch - ocean, seas, lakes. My journal label Ocean Marina is about being a sea witch. It deals with working with vast water bodies and lunar magic and weather magic. I made a journal entry on collecting storm water for my moon magic spell. My tarot cards De La Luna deck that I created in my old journal deals with lunar magic.

The context baby.

She is not empowered enough to understand her worth.

These guitar strings play on my heart Like the sound of glass shattering into shards I can hear voices within me That are like confused memories from the stars What should I look for Everything fades away in time I hear the echoes of my nightmare screams I see them clawing at me in my dreams Have I landed myself again in the same mess Life is oh boy, just a game of chess There is no map to this terrain No sunshine no drop no rain Only me chasing the clouds endlessly As they wander away from me To disappear behind the hill I watch myself, lost, feeling out of control I'm not in my body, I have lost my soul I have built walls around me I have fought very hard to survive Only to survive so I can be alive

I'm standing in a black room. Beautiful black obsidian walls I painted it of course But cracks reveal the darkness of its soul The mouth that doesn't talk The body that doesn't move The thoughts that don't feel The eyes that don't see All isolated my sweet one It will take more than glue To fix these cracks And my memories are all hazy Of which I have not a clue I see myself As the dead hands of a stillborn life I built this dark room From my shattered bones And the darkness it hides Are the secrets of my dying soul My blistered hands slowly crawl the walls. In search of hope Within the broken walls

In so seeking I seek wholeness Till the end of time And to the last extent of the ocean In this vast space Where can I go looking for you Because the shards between us are forever broken I feel like I am a mirror That sees itself as shattered mirror pieces Seeking wholeness But finding only holes Can you see through my pieces Or are you legally blind My nervous breath on your skin Can you feel my breath Can you understand My soul wants ecstacy Like a child I keep wandering Through the lanes of time. Can you feel my yearning Before it's too late I continue to glue myself Together in the hopes of finding a whole in you Every time to be pissed away in the wind I look for broken pieces The lost shards to the bridge That existed at some point Between the two of us Until the chasm grown between All that was and will be Until I seek it.

Not until I die Not until I hide The beauty of ecstacy escaped me Now this moment is here to tickle me One day it will all be over My melancholy will find an end And everything will forever be a myth

I want to be dissociated. I want to be dislocated I want to be disconnected From what is not mine I want to fly away Far away Where nobody can see me Where nobody can find me Into a deep elusive space Into the lies I hide So I can find another world Where I can find the truth

Nobody asked for life to deal us With these bullshit hands we are dealt We gotta take these cards ourselves And flip them don't expect no help okkkkkk Now I could have either just sat on my ass and pissed and moaned Or take this situation in which I'm placed in And get up and get my own

Come hither Be in my shoes Feel what it's like to be me I won't ask for more Just you and me And we singing to our tunes till eternity This story will never die Lately, I've been hard to reach I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world Where they can be alone Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you

Intermission. This is the journey. Journey of my soul.. Journey of your soul. When do we see each other When our journeys meet Like two seas colliding into an ocean The earth is a purple haze Of sadness and feelings Lonely I am never When I look in your eyes Sex is not sex any longer But meeting of two souls That thirsted for each other Through collisions of time

One moment is here one moment is there Where am I though Lost in these sea of moments Never to find myself again, whole and able The skies were so clear, yet my heart couldn't read the signs Because my mind was cloudy My heart insane with bubbles Time flows in time flows out And everything is suddenly so still As though I captured this moment Through my gaze Only for it to disappear Once again.....

All these feelings I just can't hide. Nobody is as special as you are to me. I hope you are beginning to see Just how much I care for you, And all my feelings will always be true. I can't describe how much I care, But when you need me, I'll be there To wipe those tears when you are sad, To make you happy when you are mad. I wrote your name in the sky. But the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand. But the waves washed it away. I wrote your name in my heart And forever it will stay.

We sail through endless skies Stars shine like eyes The black night sighs The moon in silver trees Falls down in tears Light of the night The Earth, a purple blaze Of sapphire haze In orbit always While down below the trees Bathed in cool breeze Silver starlight breaks down the night And so we pass on by the crimson eye Of great god Mars As we travel through the universe

Devon promise me one thing.... If I die for any reason /whatever my last wish would be that you play this song on your instrument as a tribute to my spirit and undying love for you.