Preety_India

If I want to get sex, I should simply focus on my own agenda. No drama. No fuss. This is an empowered way of thinking. Just get what you want. Yesterday a guy sent me a sexy message. Out of respect to SKB who I'm currently dating, I didn't reply to that guy's texts Maybe he is hot.. maybe he is not. I don't know.

There are also periods when I completely lose interest in sex after a long period of masturbation. I masturbate with a dildo. Sometimes my overactive sexual imagination means I won't need a dildo Other times I would need a dildo for a climax feeling

Pretty soon sex becomes a routine and one loses interest.

Yea the above things. If you already didn't know the meaning of emotional unavailability then chances are very high that you didn't create emotinal availability in the situation. So obviously the woman does not feel stimulated enough Try to work on your skills and intentions. Women can sense a lot of things If you are being sexually needy, nothing wrong with it per se, however also make space for her needs before you expect to complete your needs

I agree with this. Emotional unavailability can be a big turn off The thoughts of sex would not even enter the mind with an emotionally unavailable guy

I think travelling helps a lot with that, especially in a multi cultural environment.

Sex is extremely important to me.

@Karmadhi of course I agree with you, both kinds exist.

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Love the cross examination in this video

People who are more desperate or appear so are just more horny and there can be many reasons for this horniness. It can be straight up biological, raging hormones through their brains making them want sex really bad. This depends a lot on their hormonal constitution which varies from person to person. Only people with raging hormones can understand how badly they want sex. Society tends to shame and demonize such people. So they have to control themselves. If right now you're injected with a huge dose of hormones, you will keep thinking about sex all the time and become quite desperate to get anyone that you can get You have to be grateful if you haven't experienced that state of horniness because the desperation can drive you crazy. So I would say have compassion for those who are desperate. They're poor creatures struggling to control themselves. Also desperation is irrespective of gender They are teen girls who get desperate for sex and have sex with some neighborhood guy (who could be total asshole ) and end up getting pregnant. Desperation is seen in both men and women. In women it's kinda less because society tends to shame and repress women from being too open about their sexual desires. If a woman acted desperate she is met with judgements like " you're being a whore," "have some self respect," "you don't have self esteem," "you're so desperate for men," "you're a bimbo," "don't have sex with some random dude," "your sexual desires are not healthy," "you're being shameless".....the list goes on and on. When women are shamed in that manner if they are desperate to get the Dick in their mouths, that's where women learn that expressing such desires is taboo or shameful and they begin to repress themselves and over time it becomes a general precedent that a woman should never act too desperate or horny for men otherwise she is being a whore Men however aren't shamed this way. There is no whore equivalent for men. Often men are praised and considered manly if they have strong sexual desires and they are even complimented if they hunt down many women in the bedroom

People who are more desperate or appear so are just more horny and there can be many reasons for this horniness. It can be straight up biological, raging hormones through their brains making them want sex really bad. This depends a lot on their hormonal constitution which varies from person to person. Only people with raging hormones can understand how badly they want sex. Society tends to shame and demonize such people. So they have to control themselves. If right now you're injected with a huge dose of hormones, you will keep thinking about sex all the time and become quite desperate to get anyone that you can get You have to be grateful if you haven't experienced that state of horniness because the desperation can drive you crazy. So I would say have compassion for those who are desperate. They're poor creatures struggling to control themselves. Also desperation is irrespective of gender They are teen girls who get desperate for sex and have sex with some neighborhood guy (who could be total asshole ) and end up getting pregnant. Desperation is seen in both men and women. In women it's kinda less because society tends to shame and repress women from being too open about their sexual desires. If a woman acted desperate she is met with judgements like " you're being a whore," "have some self respect," "you don't have self esteem," "you're so desperate for men," "you're a bimbo," "don't have sex with some random dude," "your sexual desires are not healthy," "you're being shameless".....the list goes on and on. When women are shamed in that manner if they are desperate to get the Dick in their mouths, that's where women learn that expressing such desires is taboo or shameful and they begin to repress themselves and over time it becomes a general precedent that a woman should never act too desperate or horny for men otherwise she is being a whore Men however aren't shamed this way. There is no whore equivalent for men. Often men are praised and considered manly if they have strong sexual desires and they are even complimented if they hunt down many women in the bedroom

@Karmadhi in my country most girls won't have sex unless you marry them first. They need very high levels of attachment and kinda of a commitment contract to offer sex. Long term it pays them well because it's sort of Emotional security for them. They have a long term partner after all.

You can't be too sure about it. Some part of sex is Emotional. Some part of sex is animalstic and raw desire. Imagine there are two buttons placed in front of you and on top it's written sex in big letters. Now one button says Emotional and the other button says Animalistic/lust. For some people they will click the first button because it resonates with them, whereas for others they will click the second button. For Some people, the preferable option is to click both buttons. Because they want both out of sex. What a person desires out of sex is what they want out of it and this is highly variable. It's not constant. For example, for a horny teen, they might simply want the pleasure and experience of sex and they would be more likely to engage in casual sex for a one time experience because they want to know how it feels. Here thet arent LOOKING for emotional attachment, warmth or affection,just raw sex. Whereas someone who is into serious relationship,might want to consider emotional aspects of sex like physical attachment, affection, fondness, intimacy, warmth etc. People who only want sex are comfortable having sex with total strangers because they only want raw sexual pleasure People who can't have sex with total strangers are probably looking for something deeper and emotionally stimulating.

That statement is a problem. Not sure how to interpret that. Respect her choice if you really love her and aren't simply attracted to her. And if you want what you want,then you should be clear about it and then move on. Also maybe she finds it too early to be sexually commited and wants to see how well you get along with her. For women(not all) this can take an incredibly long period of time, from weeks to up to months It's not how it's shown in movies. A lot of women take their own time in deciding whether to have sex or not. This decision can depend on a lot of factors. Just offering my female perspective. Just trying to explain what her mentality can be. If you aren't ready to wait long, then find another for your needs. I remember in one of my relationships, it took me many months before I had sex. But by then we were pretty comfortable with each other Emotionally. How much a woman is ready to give depends a lot on her Emotional state and past history.

Also remember desires can be very temporary.

Let go let go let go....... I know it hurts but I need to console myself Some desires just aren't met.

The three things that I said before to describe Islam in my opinion are Khoobsurat Pakeezah Musarat And I want to add two more adjectives to the list. عقل مند Akalmand محبت سے بھرا ہوا Mohabbat se bhara hua So it's Khoobsurat Pakeezah Musarat Akalmand Mohabbat se bhara hua Ya Allah. Ya Parwardigaar.

@Hulia I don't read other journals here except maybe your journal sometimes. I don't have enough time to fill my own journals let alone take time to read other journals!

This song is crazy

Me not wanting to have sex is a self imposed ban that will continue as long as I don't feel safe emotionally.

Sometimes I think in my dreams of a man who is making love with me not just to fulfill his male agenda with me but also Because he wants to fulfill me as a woman as well. Because he considers my sexual desires as well. Often with my past boyfriends, it was only their sexual desires that were super important during sex leaving me feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled as a woman. I think a man (while having sex) should also consider how the woman feels and what she desires rather than thinking only about himself It can lead to feelings of being used as an object. It doesn't fulfill me Emotionally and sexually when a man is having sex with me to only get what he wants

During those moments I get very sad and emotional. I wish a man had understood me.