Preety_India

Your lay count doesn't matter to a woman, just saying.

I'm born a Hindu. At some point I had embraced Christianity and Judaism. Now the time has come to open myself up to Islam This is my journey towards Embracing Islam. This does not mean that I'm converted to Islam I'm not converted to Christianity either. On paper and in my real life I'm still a Hindu. I went through extreme religious struggle in my life. Then I began exploring and embracing other religions along with Hinduism my birth religion. I realized that being a true Hindu means embracing every religion in the world and respecting, accepting and embracing all religions. So this is my journey towards accepting and embracing and cherishing Islam.

جزاك الله خير يا شيخ جزاك الله خيرا كثيرا خانہ کعبہ سے لائیو ویڈیو بناتا ہوں ضرور دیکھیں جزاك الله خير يا شيخ

Main principles 1- Peace 2- Brotherhood 3-Justice 4- Helping the oppressed 5- Beneficent 6- God 7- Non malificence 8- Beliefs 9- Cleanliness 10- Faith 11-love 12- discipline

I feel feminism is about a lot of different things Liberation from slavery Comfort in a patriarchal system Women's Rights Women's struggles past and present Third wave Feminism Cult status Women's Empowerment How can we help women Feminism in the West, Feminism in the East

Tenets of Islam Allah punishes those who commit sin There is divine intelligence of Allah operating in this world. Everything is happening as it should happen Dua is the main soul of Islam A life disobeying Allah will lead to jahannum and eternal suffering Suffering will always continue because without suffering (if everyone is living a life of luxury ) you won't come to Allah With Allah there is purification of the soul Allah wants you to ask dua Allah can change things Allah does not betray his followers . The goal is to live a safe life and a life of obedience of Allah's word Allah can turn kismat Man alone cannot solve his problems, he needs a divine force or intervention, that is Allah's intervention Angels of Allah help the innocent from time to time especially when the innocent follows allah Allah likes an obedient servant You walk away from Allah, you walk to Jinnaat/Jinn Allah knows what is in your heart even when you don't say it Allah can understand your troubles .be fearing of Allah to purify your soul Allah is very merciful

I feel depressed again. I feel like giving up

Yes I'm going to spend a majority of my time taking notes and realising things. It's an excellent way of learning new things. Also I'm going to be very gentle.this will give me greater room for Emotional maturity Calling a jihad on everything is not going to work.

Throughout this month my Emotional goals would be Taking notes Keeping a track on my progress. I'm lagging behind my goals quite a lot PSYCHOEMOTIONAL PROCESSING...lots to unpack on what's hurting me Mostly chilling Working out an LP for the future Learning abt Islam of course Closing off a little bit for the sake of privacy Taking full responsibility for my Emotional health Taking care of my health and self love... although it feels like it's too late Guiding others if they need my help Being self aware and exploring my emotions from time to time Expressing my emotions succinctly. This is hard because I'm an introvert. Every time I write about my emotions, I manage to write only a single line when there's an awful lot to write about. The expression just doesn't happen unless I really force myself. Long road to Emotional maturity

Feeling stupid and nervous Somehow I have relented and realised that the best option is to simply let go and escape a destructive environment. Don't be afraid. Don't lose hope A new day will come when things will be alright..this is just another learning lesson. if there is a problem, there is also a solution to the problem.I need to be fully in charge of my Emotional health Back when I was still having my relationship with Joseph last year I was very very Emotionally disturbed and off track unable to focus on anything at all, battling PTSD and symptoms of depression.There was nothing I could do because Joseph was around me all the time constantly yelling at me.It was a super confusing period of my life and I had nowhere to turn to and I always thought our relationship will get better but he wouldn't ever calm down.Joseph had anger issues. Only later I found out that he even had violence issues through his ex wife.I would say it's impossible to know how a man is going to be in the beginning. It's super confusing because he is super nice. He is always on his best behavior to get me to want him. Now when I look back I feel very embarrassed as to why I chose him to be my boyfriend..the relationship ate a huge portion of my life, starting 2017 to late 2020. It consumed a lot of my life. It was the biggest learning lesson to never waste your precious life in the name of love and alll these love stories like the movie Titanic are extremely misleading for the younger generation. I remember watching this movie in 2010 sneakily at a friend's house because my parents wouldn't let me watch a romantic movie because I was just a teen then, also the time when my father died , not the exact year but around that time, so I watched this movie with an adult friend and it really created feelings about love and passion in me. I internalized how movies defined the concept of love, something that young people of my age do all the time. It can be a shock when reality hits you in the face and tells you a different story. It's really not all rosy and it's too late when you realise that IRL love is nothing like in the movies. The movie has an agenda to pander to public emotions. IRL there are way too many fights, disagreements, arguments, stress, aggression in relationships. Stuff which is never shown in the movies. Stuff that you gotta figure out yourself. A lot of psychoemotional processing and baggage processing that you need to do in order to have an iota of stability in your life, to be able to just relax and warm up to face new challenges. Till then there is a kot of suffering. It's not a bed of roses. And what do you live life for ? To be happy. Every passing year is a reminder that life is too short and must be lived in the safest and best way. You have to forget the wisdom that you could have had in a situation in the past and live the wisdom that is needed in the present. Regret is inevitable but these ups and downs, although not appreciated if they are too many, they are key to bigger changes in consciousness, they are a gateway to become a more wholesome enriched person, these experiences even if they are bad are intensely valuable, they make you who you are, they tell you what's important, they tell you where you went wrong and what could have been prevented, one way of making the best of your mistakes is to learn and integrate and never repeat the same mistakes again. And not even similar mistakes. Look out for the traps. Yes you feel stupid but even the stupidest person has to learn some day.

This. I know it's hard though

Good message.

I took care of many of the people though

Will that create any problems for others? Is a question you need to ask yourself as many times as you can ?

Today I was thinking about the hospital environment. I want to help people in hospices. I want to be there. Sailboats and coconuts wouldn’t help me! I am at the top of the extreme claustrophobic scale. I require IV sedation to even get near an MRI machine. I have even jumped out of a CAT scan machine quickly remove my jacket and fan myself! Major panic! I told the technician I thought it would be a GREAT idea for the hospital to have some sort of program where a person can come in and check out the machine. A time where no scans are scheduled and the stress is off. Let us take our time and try conditioning ourselves to the fact the machine is not going to bury us alive. Let us crawl in a little bit, take in the feeling, come out. Think about it, then try going back in… Something like that may help me with my condition… in the end a program like I mentioned would save the revenue and assist others by allowing them needed time in the MRI… I became uncomfortable at one of my MRI experiences several years ago and aborted it. Fortunately, the area has another larger machine at its facility. However, I also found that keeping my eyes closed during CT Scans and MRI’s enabled me to calm my mind and block the claustrophobic feelings of being encapsulated. Takes a bit of mental discipline, but it can be done. The configuration of this new machine should help patients to overcome the anxiety.

I want to bring a sort of superiority to my stance.

In me you will find a poet. In me you'll find a poet. I have so many deep yearnings, I want to learn, I want to be curious, as curious as a child, as brave as a mountain, as fiery as a storm, as deep as the oceans, as light as the streams. I want to keep exploring people, the world, cultures, dynamics and the beauty of life and living. I have many butterflies within me that are ready to fly and reach places that I haven't explored yet. I want to be a genius, I'm a genius. And this is not to inflate my ego, this is my passion. This is my fruit. I have a silent poet within me, as silent as the river, as fiery as a storm.

Feeling guilty, embarassed and grateful at the same time Ok I have to use font size 18 for bold. Because the other ones are quite large. Before coming to the topic, a short note. I saw these images posted on the forum. And these images remind me of my Ayahuasca experiences with my boyfriend back in 2019 and how thrilled I was. Lots of fractal images and feelings like everything is very real..the foliage appearing dark green and as real and 3-D it can appear. Never did Ayahuasca again after that. I was afraid of going deeper. Now coming to the topic - I am looking back at all of my past behaviours and realising that they were very embarassing in terms of intellectual growth and maturity, not in the sense where I did something wrong, those behaviours weren't objectively wrong and in fact in a more nascent sense, they were comically good and childishly innocent with a grain of truth in them, only that they were enacted in the most childish fashion yet they were apparently amateurish and lacking in tact but full of virtue in a theatrical manner, Hamlet style. They represented the child in me, the smart quick witted, diligent, brave child in me. At the same time, it came with a tinge of naivete and bravado. Which totally reduced it's internal value to zero and not being taken seriously.its like child suddenly shouting in a crowd and everyone laughs but the child speaks the truth. Now when I reflect back on it, it was very impish and innocently naive and lacked both tact and smartness. There was simply no discretion or the maturity that older women generally tend to exhibit. Now being a young woman and enjoying my youth, it's kinda hard for me to think like an old woman. Yet I can see how an older woman will perceive my actions, as being childishly gimmicky and overly brazen. And she will rather look at me with pity than Pride. This is understandable and maybe I can try placing myself in her shoes and try to look at how she is going to look at me. I'm in my 20s and I'm talking about an older woman who is in her 40s. And if I place myself in her shoes I can see why she would look at me with pity. So I kinda feel embarrassed in a way and a bit guilty. Sort of a killjoy However at the same time I'm proud of my raw, cutthroat and primal way of looking at things, completely uninhibited. I think my own rawness with things has helped me learn more which wouldn't have been possible if I were to be too diplomatic with things. My childish primal nature exposed me to truths that would have never come to me otherwise It helped me understand the dark side of humanity rather than put a cover on it and explain it away in frivolous ways. I wasn't vague. I was as raw as I could get. My insistence to get to the bottom of the truth has taken me very far in life I am a very paradoxical person. So even if it appears that I'm immature on top, deep down my maturity is revealed in the truths I have learned about this world. I glean from my experience by being open and uninhibited than being coy about it

Feeling guilty, embarassed and grateful at the same time.

Feeling guilty embarassed and grateful at the same time part 2

Feeling guilty, embarassed and grateful at the same time

Are you feeling better now? Yupp. All the anxiety is getting drained out of my blood.

Islam teaches that you be with those who are faithful and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I was imagining a hospital environment where I'm living with 10/20 other people in a ward of beds. And I would offer a rose to each one of those patients. And make them laugh and we would all be super friendly to each other and live like a happy community. We would love and respect each other. I would be so gentle to all those people and care so much about them. It would be such a peaceful place to be and to love with brotherhood would be my greatest goal.