Preety_India

I started the journal Corpus Christi / Corpus Domini on July 5 I started the journal How can I love my Father/Dad better ? On July 5. I started the journal God's voice on July 4. I started the journal Feminism today! On July 4. I started the journal Emotional Evolution on July 5. I started the journal Shrimad Bhagavad Gita/ Bhagwad Gita on July 5 I started the journal I started the journal Current status on July 6. I started the journal What kind of people I get along with on July 6. I started the journal The role of Psychotherapy on July 6. I started the journal Studying Indian Politics on July 6. I started the journal Spiritual Resources on July 6. I started the journal Dumping my negative emotions on July 7 I started the journal Medallions, symbols, chants, mantras, imagery on July 7 I started the journal What kind of partners I need to avoid on July 8 I started the journal Dilip Kumar passing-7/7/2021- Earth/ INDIA in crisis on July 8 I started the journal Praying to God everyday for Freedom from Abuse on July 8 I started the journal India : Marvels & Mysteries on July 8 I started the journal The Greatness of Hinduism on July 8 I started the journal I want to meet God on July 9 I started the journal My journey to freedom on July 10 I started the journal Hindi, sanskrit, urdu and arabic on July 10 I started the journal Anxiety washing over me on July 10 I started the journal Prayer for this world on July 11 I started the journal Random art for depression on July 11 ..................... I started the journal My pain My sadness on July 13 I started the journal 4 major insights on July 14 I started the journal Understanding Men on July 12 I started the journal Mysterious Religion (fictional writing) on July 14 I started the journal Ayahuasca Experience on July 14 I started the journal Preety Timeline on July 15

I want time to reflect on things that happened in my life that brought me so much pain and sadness. I feel like existence is a strange punishment. My heart has been hurt in so many different ways. So many betrayals. Can I take more ?

preety-timeline prayer-for-this-world 4-major-insights understanding-men ayahuasca-experience my-pain-my-sadness mysterious-religion-fictional-writing back-pain-journal my-youtube-channel-redoing-it what-do-youi-really-care-about-what-do-u-deserve powerful-spiritual-forces soul-math solid-gold-plate interesting-things Important topics on the forum toxic-stage-orange-is-ultimate-devilry my-spiritual-struggle-in-the-last-3-days how-can-i-become-free why-cant-humanity-transcend-survival feeling-ashamed-of-myself-and-unworthy

Finding it difficult to keep a track on the events in my life. I must keep a timeline

I started the journal about emotional Evolution on I started the journal about

Ok I'm trying to keep a track. I started the journal "embracing Islam" on June 20 and my last entry was on July 4. I wrote about Corpus Christi on July 5 and on the same day I wrote about "Feminism today." I wrote "studying Indian politics" regarding Hindu Muslim relations in India. This was on July 6. This was just one day short of actor Dilip Kumar's passing which occurred on July 7 and I was shocked because his words were so close to my heart . I had been binge watching his movies just a few days before the shocking news of his death. Pure coincidence I call it Synchronicity. His death had shocked me. I started the journal about his life "Dilip Kumar passing" on July 7.

I have no idea when my mental health began to decline. It happened somewhere in mid 2018 This was the time I was having a lot of fights with Joseph. I also had began fighting with my family at the same time. It was really bad I didn't want my family back then. The whole 2019 I avoided my family. I was upset. By January 2020, I was contacting my ex because I felt he really cared about me. I was lonely. I didn't want Joseph I was losing trust in Joseph. My ex wasn't giving a positive response. So I gave up That year I thought I needed money to move out But the news of Corona hit in March. And there was no chance of moving out because it was a tense lockdown I was even banned from going out This was throughout 2020. It was a tense period I broke up with Joseph finally in late 2020 around November My mental health took a stab in December,I wasn't able to cope with the thought that Joseph had cheated on me. It was the most terrible feeling of betrayal. I tried to gather myself by January and February. That was my last attempt at piecing my bits together In March and April I began to feel better but the forum was a huge headache starting March 19, I remember the last week of March I was trying to socialize and the first week of April I had made some friends and for some time I was feeling better. I don't remember the last week of April I guess I was upset and I was ill for some time. I guess this is the time when the ex girlfriend of Joseph contacted me. The last week of April , I still don't remember, I guess I was stressed out for some reason. Yea I remember the last week now. I was attacked on the forum on April 25 and I distinctly remember coming very close to a seizure I was about to have a seizure that day I was too stressed out.. I really wanted someone to talk to. Then came more harassment. Some forum member was constantly sending me abusive messages non stop from different accounts and this went on for 4 days and it had created tremendous stress because I was constantly blocking the member. Then came the first week of May.. I was dealing with family issues again regarding rent payment. I was falling short on payments and my financial situation was getting worse from that point Then came May 19 when I came across the news of the suicide of Soonhei. I became despondent after hearing the news. It shook me and left me completely depressed. I couldn't believe what had happened. I was crying and I had turned into a mess. Then came the whole YouTube Adeptus thing and a huge fight followed. Some members came after me after that incident. That was the whole last week of May. I remember being extremely upset not knowing what was going on It was June and I had decided to leave the forum.. It was clear in my mind that it wasn't a good place to be Thats when I decided to connect online dating online An old friend contacted me. He was SKB I felt a sudden sense of joy This was June 11. I began writing about him extensively. The last week of June was a happy one and I posted the thread that he called me stupid. That probably was the last week of June. I was happy for a while. And I don't remember much after that. I guess I was more interested in religion after that point. I was interested in Islam at that point. I was learning about Islam in the last week of June and the beginning of July And the last 6 days were an utter nightmare. I guess that's when I Turned to religion for peace

Im afraid of myself. I really don't know when things went wrong When I will die, I will write on a piece of paper that I wasn't happy with this life. I never signed up for this life I never wanted this world, this society, this family. This just wasn't my thing. I simply fit into this pathetic world. I'm too tired of this all

Can anyone please tell me what SMV means? Thanks ?

Me too.

@ll Ontology ll what if certain patterns are true ?

I think you didn't quite grasp what I meant by climax. It only happens once and not again and again. The woman feels like submitting to the man's love and that's the point called " falling in love" the emotion that accompanies this point is what I meant by climax. She then wants to further explore the relationship with the man. This point is the point where the relationship begins essentially. They both fall in love now and sex is most likely to happen. Love has only begun. The deal-breaker stuff will happen later in the relationship. It's quite sad when two people fall in love so deeply and later realize that there are dealbreakers and that they are not compatible to each other. That's a kind of a hurtful phase in the relationship. All these incompatibilities really destroy relationships.

God is an inner voice that you need to invoke in this world as long as you are alive.

This is a fictional write up based on the concept of a mysterious Religion.

I felt closer to God I felt his immense power of love. That brought deep joy and so much joy that I was in tears

I remember taking Aya with my ex boyfriend Joseph long ago. I remember having deep mystical experiences. One thing that I felt was deep sorrow and deep joy.

I'm developing a general distrust for humanity. I see humanity as an experiment of self destruction. This is a self destructing species, not because it's traumatized but because greed, power hunger, ignorance and materialism has made humanity blind to truth and grace and this blindness will call it's own destruction in the end. Humanity cannot survive this.

I wept for so many days thinking about God.

I have fallen in love with God and I feel like God is our real soul mate. The one who truly understands us. The one within whom we find ultimate peace.

I've been quite religious in the past few weeks. And it is influencing my character. It feels strange spiritually now. Some of the changes I observed in myself in the past few days are Feeling increasingly introverted. I feel like being with myself all the time Feels like this world is an illusion and not a good one I don't see meaning in human life I can sense a lot of materialism in this world the more I turn to religion. This materialism is making me sick I've become stricter than usual I feel a sense of sadness realising the uselessness of the world I feel this world lacks femininity and will always lack femininity. I trust people less I feel discipline is important I have become wiser I feel because of religion, my intuition is getting sharper and stronger I feel this life is like a test

On July 12 I felt slight pressure around my neck and back. This was intermittent.

I cried a lot in the last 3 days and I suffered deep spiritual pain for the last 5 years. The pain is indescribable. Yet it seems I'm coming closer to something that has taken a lot of soul searching and a very painfully slow and gruelling task. After 3 days of intense emotional and spiritual crisis (I became an emotional wreck) I gained 3 important insights and felt that I was slowly getting closer to something important. (My articulation is not good, I can see how I go round and round, I apologise for that.) These insights are - God is EVERYTHING God is LOVE PEACE OF MIND will be found only in God And other insights were - this life is eternal. We live in eternity. And this eternal life is a struggle for attaining higher consciousness which is a form of God Consciousness. I wanted to share my insights. Thanks for reading. ?

"I'm authentic, truthful and trustworthy with women." " I don't lie about myself with women."

People with massive egos look down on religion. The ego's desperate attempt to move away from God Religion is a medium of communication with God

Harvard is the worst elitist institution. It's just a badge. Good on this guy to be able to stand against a rotting institution like that Academics is dying without sentiment and spirituality. These people are simply stage Orange ego driven and very dogmatic. Okie, what do we have here?......that's Harvard for ya.