Preety_India

The guy asked me to be specific on how to fulfill a woman emotionally. He told me to educate him on how a man can be desirable. I told him how that can happen.. Nobody forces you to do things that you don't want to do. But don't make a woman look ridiculous either for wanting what she wants Half of guys like you keep whining about how a woman is never specific about what she wants, how a woman doesn't know what she wants But when a woman specifically states what she wants, you start ridiculing her because you can't fulfil it. Well she hasn't asked of you to fulfill it. She is simply stating what she was asked to state about her wants. Fair enough ?

The stigma is created by the confusion that many people have which is they assume that rape Fantasy is rape. This causes them to automatically assume that anyone talking about rape Fantasy is condoning rape. However it's a fetish that simulates a rape like bdsm scenario only for pleasure derived from dominance. However some people (I'm not sure if they do this purposely ) misunderstand it and think that women must like rape? Women don't like rape nor are they supporting non consensual rape that is discussed in the video. Non consensual rape is a crime and shouldn't be condoned because it is forceful and without consent. But some people try to blur these lines(may be they want to take advantage of blurred lines, I think you got what I meant )

To be specific To value her To respect her To support her To care for her (I don't mean financially) To understand her To get along with her Not to stress her out To protect her To give her affection To not deprive her To offer her intimacy means a sense of connection. Where she feels at home. To let her open up and honor her expression To listen to her To not suppress, repress or oppress her To satisfy her sexual needs as well To not break her boundaries

These terms help women to stay away from men who aren't healthy for them. A person who rapes is called a rapist. A person who cheats is called a cheater. Society will always have labels that help them remove unwanted behaviours. You really can't change that. The goal is to exactly push them away because women don't feel safe in relationships with such men. The only understanding needed here is that the men who exhibit such behaviours need to change these behaviours because these behaviours are not healthy in a relationship. If you aren't that way and if a girl sees you that way, then it's her fault that she is misjudging you.why should you care about someone who misunderstands you ? Be with a girl who knows you for who you are. Just because you are misjudged doesn't mean such men or such behaviours don't exist. They surely do If someone falsely accused of being a rapist, does it mean that rapists don't exist ? You being misjudged is a specific person's fault and you can easily find someone who is able to judge you the right way But don't assume that every guy is you or every girl is misjudging. If you don't exhibit behaviours that are hurtful, then you have nothing to worry These terms shouldn't apply to you at all since you aren't that , am I right ? Why are you scared of showing your intentions ? Also what do you get by hiding intentions? I am puzzled. A socially awkward man is not a creepy man. Don't try to change definitions.. A creepy man is a creepy man. This is like saying not every rapist rapes. If a man exhibits creepy behaviour, he is creepy.. If a man is socially awkward, that's not creepy. That's just a socially awkward guy. If someone calls him Creepy, they are being wrong in judging. I never talked about unattractive men. I'm talking about crackheads. Each box has been prepared for each type of crackhead..of course even in crackheads there are categories..these categories are stated properly. All guys weren't put in any box. Normal guys are normal guys. They won't belong to these boxes. Only men who exhibit certain behaviours have been grouped into specific boxes that indicate these behaviours I don't understand what sort of nice guys you're talking about. My categorisation is based on my experience. Maybe it doesn't resonate with you. But that doesn't invalidate my experience. Nice guy is a misnomer. It can mean different things to different people depending on their experience. In my experience, a nice guy is someone who is fake. Of course I'm not taking away your right. But you're right with your experience. I'm right with my experience. You can't say that my experience is wrong and make yourself look right. We both can be right at the same time in our experiences. You are not being misunderstood. The only thing is that what you say,I can't relate to it since that's not my experience.. I don't wish to assume anything about you. You weren't placed in any of these boxes Don't make it personal. My experience might not be relevant to you but don't negate it If you chose to walk and sit into these boxes, that's not my fault. That's what you decided to do. I think somewhere you're suffering from some insecurity and unnecessarily placing yourself into these boxes where you don't belong. If someone placed you in such boxes and you never acted this way, that's that person's fault, I'm not responsible for how others judge you . These boxes represent behaviours I have seen in men You are normal. I don't know you personally so I can't place you in any of these boxes . Also the goal wasn't to place some person in a box The goal was to highlight behaviors that can hurt women and create awareness of these behaviours. This way those who recognise these behaviours can quickly change themselves to get better results . This is for both men and women.. because some women are not aware of such behaviours. When women will become aware of such behaviours then they will avoid these men so they'll be safer that way . Knowlege of such behaviors can help women screen men properly. Nice guys and socially awkward guys are different in my mind. Maybe different in your mind as well. However I don't accept that to be the definition of nice men. I'll call it socially awkward guys. But nice guys are those that act fake. Everyone can have their own definition. My experience might not fit your definition and your experience might not fit mine

Why will a woman withhold sex from a man? Sex is a part of a relationship. It's not the entire relationship. If a man only wants sex with a woman, but doesn't want to fulfill her emotionally, then he is depriving her. Of course sex is going to be a part of a relationship because she has sexual needs as well..but she doesn't want a man who is only with her for sex(only) In essence, a woman is looking for value in a relationship and men who value women also look for value in relationships. They aren't hunting women just for sex. If you truly valued women, you would value women for much more than just sex.

Nice analogy.

Don't know what to do. I wish him luck.

This I won't describe as a nice guy. This is a description of a needy guy according to me Nice guys are those who put on a front Maybe "passive" is the word you are looking for This is so wrong. Lots of genuine men who want to be with a woman not for sex but for a genuine relationship.. You make it sound like men are hungry wolves. That's not true I won't call them nice men. Because nice men is a misnomer. I'll call them authentic guys. The last category. No woman (generally most women aren't) is okay with a man who wants sex with her period. Women want intimacy and genuine relationships. Most women on this forum keep repeatedly saying the same thing. Female sexuality is not how men want it to be. Women want sex only as a part of intimacy. They want the whole experience not half baked love They don't want to feel used for sex. They want genuine connection without which they feel deprived Women aren't blow up dolls. The reason women don't like nice guys is already stated above. Nice guys are often fake. If you're referring to "passive guys" then those guys are rejected because they could be too Feminine. A woman wants polarity. She wants a man who is strong, not ruthless, just strong, meaning assertive. A passive man can signal weakness but this is not good for her because he can't be protective. A woman feels good with a protective man because that's how they are wired, just like men love caring woman. You're conflating passive guys and nice guys Nice guys are fake whereas passive guys are weak and timid. Women can't like timid men just like men can't like a woman who is uncaring and ruthless. There's a basic magnetism in a male female polarity, this is nature given (By strong men I mean men who are independent and self reliant, not assholes or ruthless guys ) Needy guys are insecure and use women to fill those insecurities. In the end the woman realises that the man was only interested in her to the extent of his needs. When he is bored of her and he doesn't need her anymore, he dumps her conveniently. One of the reasons why needy guys get rejected because women have experienced their behaviour in past relationships.. Nah. I am looking for the last category of men..the detached authentic simple guy who doesn't want to manipulate but wants a honest relationship. Women fantasize bad men sometimes because they believe the bad boy is being authentic. Yet that is only a farce fed by movies like Emerald said to me once. It's a thing sold to women.. However as women evolve Emotionally they outgrow this phase and no longer like such men. It's called developing emotional maturity which needs time and sometimes experience to know what suits a woman's feminine side.

You need to tone down those attacks. I'm asking you respectfully to walk away. I have been very patient with your passive attacks

You don't understand this BIG BIG TRUTH that you're looking for respect and value But you will get respect only from respectful people.

What you're describing is like playing with knives When you play with knives you end up cutting your own fingers

In order to get honest answers, you need honest people.

The categorisation is not on the basis of appearance. It's on the basis of behaviour. Go on YouTube and the whole dating community talks about these. Obviously because it matters to women. They have to be careful about who they are dating Nothing wrong with women looking for making safe choices. A woman doesn't want to end up with an axe murderer. This is not objectification but how women experience different kinds of behaviours from men. These terms aren't invented by me. The whole world talks about these terms. You mean to say such behaviours don't exist ? It's not about being good or bad. Don't take it in a judgemental way. Learning these things is quite informative. If you think you exhibit any of these behaviours, instead of using the cop out defense and lashing out, maybe use this to outgrow such behaviours. You don't become bad or good. You simply avoid behaviours that are hurtful to others.. I think not being honest is a problem. It hurts women when they realise the guy isn't clear with his intentions Creepy men tend to exploit women..women don't want to be exploited just like you don't want to be judged Not necessary. These are behaviours that are hurtful. Nothing normal in that. Getting love from someone is one thing. But abusing someone for love is another. You can practice wanting love in healthy ways and stop unhealthy ways. Maybe instead of feeling triggered see how you can improve your ways that won't hurt the woman I acknowledge this problem.. however you never know if the guy is a real jerk or not. Trust me most women leave abusive guys . Nobody needs an abuser. Those women might have self esteem issues and you shouldn't compromise your integrity for them. Women want a balance of caring and strength. Not much to ask for honestly. I get it.. You be authentic. A relationship won through inauthenticity is always going to be a failure

Then don't waste my time by giving out pointless judgements which are nothing but assumptions . Like I said you don't know shit about me and so you don't have anything to explain. Just empty judgements created by biased thinking. People who genuinely care actually care to explain. You're wasting my time. Use it somewhere else

I guess you need to ramp up the kind of people you are wanting. You're looking in low quality crowd that is looking for validation. Engage with people who want deeper connections. Maybe look in spiritual circles You're dealing with some fake shit so you're getting flaked. Try to be around some real people who actually care about your time.

How do I want something opposite? Can you explain me ?

Stop degrading me.

Mah God please spare me ?

The most powerful psychedolic is Love

Why is he relevant here ?

Those are some fair points. Especially the "honesty/ transparency."

You have zero right to judge me. You don't know shit about me You act like you care but the only thing you do is make me angry. I don't know how to enjoy?? Maybe I don't need your version of enjoyment.

Thank for your beautiful response. You're a gentleman. Being serious.

I like the longer explanations better. Slides easily into my head I agree there's a difference. I don't think I'm needy for a relationship because I can live without it. Yet I want a relationship because it enriches life. The Freedom to allow relationships to happen - I think most of my past relationships just happened on their own. I never actively pursued anyone. So I understand what you mean. Most of my relationships were spontaneous. However I always felt like "allowing relationships to happen" always caused me to be stuck in bad relationships as I just didn't think much while getting into them. They happened very naturally and only later I realised they were so incompatible. I guess if I was a bit deliberate in my approach, I might have had a better chance of finding more compatible relationships..now I'm more conscious and aware. This I already did. I was playfully detached during the start of every relationship. But I felt it was a huge blunder because it made me very open and naive to the point of blindness. The waking up only happened when my heart was broken.. I'm all of this. I feel like being carefree became my biggest punishment. I saw girls who weren't carefree like me got much better boyfriends. I on the other hand got manipulators because I was extremely easy going. I always went along which opened doors to people waiting to take advantage of my openness. On the Big 5 Personality Ocean Test, Love and Openness is my highest qualities. Yes many guys were attracted to me. This became my suffering. Because they weren't attracted to love me but to simply have me. They thought I was fun. I thought they were good. But it was a huge error.. Hindsight 20/20, I probably shouldn't have come across as fun loving or radiant because it attracts parasitic people. Being serious is better. It attracts serious people. A lot of guys told me I'm fun and happy / carefree. My exes still keep bugging me to talk to them ..I keep avoiding because I don't like how they prey on my positive energy To be honest I feel like a clown . Yes I'm great at attracting relationships. But I don't want to. I just want to attract a simple honest guy not a harem of men . I don't like men who surround me like honey bees. I just want someone honest and easy going like me who won't play nasty games like all these pathetic players. I agree with this a lot. I have sometimes exhibited people pleasing behaviours. That shit I need to control. Because it's boundary related. I need to keep proper boundaries which I really suck at. You made an important point. I am not looking for sex. I want a loving kind life long relationship of beautiful moments and spending time together. I'm a super loyal person who wants sincerity and commitment. I show extreme dedication in my relationships. However I'm hurt by how people act so cheap and use and throw others. I don't like such fickle nonsense relationships. I like depth and deep emotional connections that keep growing through life.. Yea. I don't want such people because I'm myself not like that. I want lasting relationships but people who approach me usually tell me great things which is deceptive, because they are fuckboys I don't like such people. It's hard to find a man who wants a lasting relationship because they are rare. Most men who approach are generally Chad type handsome who only want a temporary relationship . I hate that. Because I want permanent. True. Yes

You're going for women who are only looking for validation. You're giving them the ego boost. You're giving them validation.. If you genuinely connect with a woman like a friend and not give her ego boosts and invite her, your chances of getting a genuine woman are very high. You're looking in the wrong place. You want a true gf then such women are not that. They are users. I can't get a genuine bf by being around players. Same way. You're being around the female version of players. They will use you for ego boost and spit you out. Not much different from players who will use a woman for sex and spit her out. To make genuine connections, you need to be in the right place and use the right approach. The approach you're using will drive away real women causing them to be repulsed/repelled. They will see you as someone who doesn't value genuine connection and they will refuse to be with you..those who will accept you are the ones looking for ego boost likes. So the strategy (I should not use the word strategy honestly) is to re-orient your approach and develop intimacy and real connection with someone without coming off as desperate for sex. Challenge them. See if they're ready for a relationship. You told me last time that you don't want to waste too much time in texting or talking. But the way you're approaching, you're still wasting time in some way getting flaked by every new girl. Because it's a waste of time approaching and simply getting rejected. What's the point if the end result is empty ? You could have spent this time developing a genuine connection? So you need to widen your social circuit I have ruminated over your problem for 3 days I think you are being very passive and doing all sorts of wrong things in the name of pickup. Of course I appreciate your hard work.. But get a grip. Be friends with a girl. With many girls. Be flirty with as many women as possible. Don't be desperate. Just keep flirty. I'm sure someone with whom you have an engaging conversation will want something more out of you Don't be with social media savvy girls. Try to be with girls who are really submissive to you. Who care to listen to you. Who give you attention, not the other way around.. I'm sorry I understood you all wrong the first time. Your posts were very confusing to me A submissive girl will suit a guy like you and most likely she won't flake on you. But she has to be a simple girl. Not too fashionable