Preety_India

I want to journal my deepest anxieties and find a way to resolve these deep hidden fears.

I wanted someone to hold me tight because I felt so cold.

I felt like my whole body was cold. There was just nobody. I was alone in the dark sea I could throw up.

I feel a Treme sense of fear.

@Parththakkar12 I didn't do anything. So I don't have to think anything. Your assumption, you can live with it. Have a good day!

@Parththakkar12 ok. I call a truce here. I'm trying to end the argument because I don't see any point in arguing. However this does not mean that I agree with you..nor is this any victory because it's no battle. Just difference of opinion. I don't agree that I shamed anyone and I'm not going to agree that I shamed anyone when I didn't do it, simply because you want me to submit to it. Nope. That's not going to happen. You're entitled to your assumptions just as I'm entitled to my opinions. So I end the argument here. Once again, don't treat it like some defeat/victory thing..it's simply difference of opinion and disagreement.

@Hulia @Zeroguy guys you can talk about this in your journal. Not here please ?

I just don't wish to be blamed for something I didn't do. I'm being accused of shaming. I'm trying to explain that I didn't shame. That's all I'm doing. It's not okay to say that I should be shamed in return and language like "don't mess with us!" I don't get it. I'm not even allowed to talk to men here? So if I talk to men here, it's automatically shaming. When I spoke to the OP he responded to me very kindly.i had also told him that if he felt judged,I was apologetic..the OP never mentioned that I was shaming him and he took my advice positively and even agreed with me.. However @Parththakkar12 is changing the whole narrative and making it look like I shamed him. This is just a way of attacking me unnecessarily into long drawn out arguments where I'm simply defending myself against something I never did Had the OP informed me that he thought I was shaming him, I would have immediately obliged. Also @parththalkar is constantly trying to make it seem like some sort of battle that he won. You can look at the meme he posted of a man walking away from an explosion and told me that I was running away from a battlefield. Such language is insinuating. There is no battle. I'm not interested in any battles. I'm just patiently explaining him that guiding someone by critiquing their actions is not shaming. Look at the title of the thread. It's obvious that some criticism will exist.

@flowboy look I'm not interested in arguing. If the other person let me go, I'll let go and stop it.

It is still not appropriate. Because it's revenge language. It's similar to saying -" if you reject me, you'll regret it." If you project my suggestion as shaming, that's your error in judgement for which I'm absolutely not responsible and what you do in return is unwarranted. Plus i don't support shaming. But by declaring that you'll shame me openly, you're the one who is actually shaming. Can you see how your projections of me are actually pointing back at you? You're losing ground here because what you're doing is simply based on assumptions. As I have already stated that I'm not moralizing. Telling someone that their behaviour is not attractive is simply guiding, not moralizing. And even if you thought it was moralizing, it is still a Perspective. A moral one. Learn to be tolerant of others perspectives. Don't impose yours on others so vehemently. If you had a different perspective I wouldn't be vehemently debating and going after you, I would simply leave you to it. That's called tolerance. However you're so hellbent on proving yourself right here. This is not a question of right or wrong. While talking to OP I did not even mention all men..I was only addressing the OP. However you're constantly dragging it and making it out to be about all men. This is pure projection and strawmanning. You're saying things that simply did not happen and using that as a subject to argue with me.the premise of your argument doesn't exist. In that case it's strawmanning

@Parththakkar12 there was no shaming.. criticising behaviour which is hurtful is not the same as shaming. Learn the difference.

Is this a threat ?

@Parththakkar12 don't make this personal please. What he did is obviously not supported. Don't single me out. And I have explained him in the kindest way possible. Don't try to stir the pot.

@Parththakkar12 I'm not hyper critical at all. Look at all the women who criticized the guy's behaviour. And not just women, even men..so I'm not alone. If a guy thinks I'm hyper critical, good for me, he is automatically not good for me.

What is not attractive gets pushed away automatically. Just rocket science. Anyway it's not a woman's loss, she will get a man who knows how to attract her. Checkmate.

You took it the wrong way. Take it as a joke. What I meant is by attracting you, I might lose some cells under my wig !! by the way you don't need my wig. @Hulia got 10 wigs. Why do you still want me smh ?? you won't like my black wig. I'm no blonde.

The reason you don't females to change because you're attracted to them that's why you don't feel the need to change anything. The reason why females tell you and other males to change is because you aren't attractive to us with that behaviour, in fact you push us away with that sort of behaviour (again this is not about moral superiority) you're attracted to a woman's looks mostly but we as females aren't primarily attracted to looks on a male, otherwise male female attraction would have been extremely easy. We're attracted to how a guy presents himself to us whereas you're attracted to how we appear to you and how soft we can be, that's easy to achieve if a female is attractive, yet she won't be attracted to just some random guy..we as women/females are attracted to men who act a certain way with us, make us emotionally and sexually stimulated /fulfilled, that's the guy we give our bodies to. We feel attracted to that guy, we want to be with that guy. So when you or another male describe the behavior you do, it reflects to us as unattractive and we try to tell you how it won't attract and what will work or what is really attractive to us. The problem is that you don't want to accept what we like in a man, you think it's false advice, if what we say is false, then why are you facing failures in your dating skills, if you think that your perspectives about what attracts a woman are true, shouldn't you already be successful with your plans, so we try to correct you and tell you how you are pushing the woman away instead of attracting her..also keep in mind that women are very whimsical so if we reject or flake on you, sometimes it's absolutely for no reason at all. So you don't have to make it personal..these are things that a male won't be able to tell you but only a female knows why she is rejecting men so we would be able to tell you better, we get annoyed when you say "don't ask the fish how to fish " because we aren't dumb or against men attracting us, we would be more than happy if men love us, but how can we allow a man to love us who is unattractive to us through his bad or unwanted behaviours. So we as women also have a point but it seems it's always taken for granted.

If I attract you, I'll lose everything.

@Waken you're right. I shouldn't be too tensed about this. After all it's love..if it doesn't happen, then I should simply accept it. And keep trying. I hope I find my man who will absolutely love me.

But you have to understand you can't find a middle ground if you only keep fighting the female POV. It's not about sexism or misogyny as he is trying to make it out to be. It's understanding that hurting a woman is not the solution and saying this in no way means moral superiority. That's what I'm trying to explain. If he were talking about male POV then I would have gladly accepted it because that's male POV which I cannot deny. However he is constantly talking about moral superiority which just isn't the case. Here I'm not exactly fighting male POV but rather something that just didn't exist like a strawman. It's like if I were discussing dating and he is discussing food. You get my point?

It's not about moral superiority. It's about finding a middle ground where both male and female survival agenda can meet.

@Waken thank you for taking the time to respond to my thread. It means a lot. And thank you for all the useful suggestions.

That awesome you started a collection. Aren't they gorgeous to look at. They have a mesmerizing feel to them. Wow, that looks like a hi-fi crystal ! Yep. Just a few. I think they must be lying somewhere scattered in my house, haha, I bought them years ago and totally forgot them. Yep. I'll be sharing a lot of quotes, videos and anything I learn everyday. I love sharing. There's no compulsion to watch anything right away. You can always do any time you feel like, I know you have your stuff to do so you can always enjoy my content and respond at your leisure, absolutely no pressure.

Not really. I can live alone. Yet I tend to attract men who are nothing like me. They aren't emotional like me. Most men I attract are unemotional and I get emotional for them and realise that they are not on the same emotional plane as I. I also tend to imagine they love me more than they actually do. It always results in disappointment because I generally keep high hopes in the relationship only to discover that they don't have such feelings for me. I want to attract a man who is just as emotional as I am and feels about me the way I do about him.

@RickyFitts tried. Didn't work. Glitch in the matrix.