Preety_India

@Rishabh R cheating is a very hurtful experience. I have experienced that in my past relationship. It can be very intense especially when the partner hides it from you and you figure it out later. So I can understand your anger. But it seems your anger has sadly turned into a trauma. This can turn into torture. You could be literally torturing yourself with such images. Be aware how this is impacting you. This trauma can turn into a cycle and then become an addiction where it will keep hurting you over and over. One thing that I did was I put my ex on full blast after I discovered his cheating. I turned up the heat and let out all my anger at him by saying everything I wanted to say. This way I got the opportunity to throw my anger at him right after the situation and then be done with it. Holding the anger would have caused me immense pain. So I kept roasting him for days and days and he kept listening to me patiently. He thought I would go back to him and he was waiting for the roasting to get over. I roasted him for full 7 days - verbal barking. After releasing all my anger at him, I packed my bags and left him. This was important for my mental health because keeping that anger is not good. So let it out. Write it down. I did a lot of name calling to my boyfriend that is ex boyfriend. If you can't talk to your ex then write it down somewhere and release all that anger. I cried a lot ???? for another whole month, screamed, kicked into pillow..maybe it's difficult for you to kick into pillow then kick into something that feels hard for you. Punch something that won't hurt. Release all that anger. It takes 2 month period in my estimate, if you are highly emotional like me to keep releasing that anger. It's like a vomiting process.Keep vomiting out that anger. Writing in a private diary is a good way of releasing Emotions and how much you hate that person for hurting you. Be careful though. Once you have screamed, kicked, punched and written and released everything and emptied your anger, you have to calm down otherwise this anger can consume you. Once you have calmed down, then try forgiveness. After two months of screaming kicking into pillow and lots of crying and bad mouthing my ex, I texted him and told him that I forgive him. I completely forgave him. This is very important because it's not good to hold that revenge or grudge inside. Because it's like trapping them into this anger/grudge. It's time to release that person. He felt good that I forgave him and he was relieved and relaxed. Because I can suddenly die one day in an accident and he will be left without forgiveness. That will be a spiritual problem. Before it turns into a spiritual problem, forgive that person as the last stage. Then watch Leo's video on forgiveness and letting go. First releasing the anger is important. Forgive only after all the anger is emptied on that person. Once you have forgjven,you'll feel a sense of internal peace.. Once you reach this stage then try to forget that person completely. Remove every item that reminds you of that person (any gift/letter etc) Now move on with your life and accept that bad things happen and it's spiritually outside your control. Find a partner who is less likely to cheat although this is difficult, even I struggle with this. The problem is that there is no 100% guarantee how a person will behave in a relationship. A relationship is like gambling. That's why you should not be too Emotionally attached early on.. Try to check how the person behaves with you. If they give early signs of cheating like flirting or talking too much about others, make it clear to them that you have strong boundaries and then leave them. With me the problem was that I had already seen red flags like flirting etc but I didn't take it seriously. I didn't establish boundaries. So it went on and l kinda remained oblivious.. There are always warning signs. Like lack of commitment. But even then it's not easy. Sometimes people flirt but they don't cheat. It's tricky. Like I have flirted while being in a relationship because I'm naturally flirty person yet I'm extremely loyal and never had the thought to cheat. But there are people who don't openly flirt yet they cheat behind your back. So it's really about moral integrity and character. You need a high value person to value your relationship. Only then they won't cheat. Sadly we are now living in a society where people rarely value relationships. They justify cheating or simply don't care. People make fake promises of loyalty and don't keep the trust. And that's absolutely crushing and hurtful I have been through that process. It is devastating. Nothing but to accept reality. And just keep looking for honest loyal people, hard to find though That's why I am currently not looking for a relationship. I am scared that it will happen again. And I want to be with someone who is loyal. That was always my number one priority.

@ivankiss hey guy thanks for the support. Love your growth..you're on the right track. Cheers!

The person born in the August month can drive me crazy. They are nice and super sweet to me. I met a guy a few years ago. He was that. Smooth operator. Killer guy. Was extra extra nice to me. I used to watch him from far. He would walk straight to me. If I needed something he would do it for me. He would treat me like a Princess. Like I was someone special to him. Hover around me. I used to feel nice. But I didn't sleep with him. He told me once how he wanted to sleep with me and how we can enjoy a vacation together. I simply got very furious (my intense Pisces nature) and just cut him out for good. I just wasn't having direct sex. I wanted to be serenaded before a guy could take me to his bed. I swear if he was with me today, we would have had mad sex. I would have made him go crazy.

This is relevant to the recent thread I opened. It will help me explore where I'm going wrong while trying to attract a man and why I am always attracting some bullshitter.

My compatibility is also high with Aquarius. So I have the list ready Aquarius Leo Cancer I'll say no to Capricorn. Because after careful consideration I have realized not to take that risk Nothing wrong with it though but I just generally think most caps are unlucky for some reason.

Anyway Taurus and Pisces are off the list. I won't date them again because they're highly incompatible. Desirable but incompatible. So who's next ? Maybe Cancer and Leo. I'm not going to try too hard. Get it right or forget this whole relationship crap and get back to work.

I want to get married at the end of this year or next year I'm eager to find that that that that guy The one who will become my ultimate soulmate.

Sometimes I feel like this whole attraction thing is cheap.

It seems every zodiac sign has some incompatibility or flaw. So it just doesn't work. This whole horoscope zodiac astrology thing All 12 signs are deeply flawed in their own ways which distorts every seemingly normal relationship. It only feels good in the attraction phase After that it goes cold. The signs come back to their nastiness

So after filtering out majority of the crapola zodiac signs, the only one who can pacify my restless Pisces soul is a Cancer. Yep. Only a Cancer can keep me happy. The next closest choice is a Leo. Smart and grounded, and doesn't want to hurt my lovely sensitive heart. I have had many Leo friends but not lovers. Not one Cancer lover. You really think I'll let a Cancer go. No way. Once a Cancer comes to me, he is trapped in my net. Ain't not gonna allow him to simply walk away. Will eat him up and swallow him whole. Right now I have nothing to do but wait for the right guy to pass by and then look back at me and I'll give him one look and he will think about me. One sip of my ginger tea...

I have mostly dated hot guys. But it's time to switch it up. Time to look for average dudes. What else can a hot guy offer? Not much. Other than what ..,looks and charms. I'm kinda tired of all that. It doesn't last long. What I like is a guy who is great in bed and a motivator. A guy who knows my mind. A guy who is protective. A guy who knows how to make the relationship work and is just tough with his values. I don't know how that's going to be. I am definitely not dating a Pisces. Joseph was a Pisces. Pisces Pisces disaster. Nah... I need someone I have dated Taurus already. Now.......even Aries .. No.. Maybe I like Cancer. Or a Leo. I'm scared of Scorpio. Charles Manson vibes. Gah! Then comes December. A saggitarius! Please lol, not that nightmare. They are cold like dead fish. My mom is one in that category. Capricorn seem good..but lol boring...they even have a reputation of being super boring. Now don't expect me to sit down next to a Capricorn and discuss the daily newspaper. Or stupid Politics. Men! You know I'm a Pisces. I need sex before breakfast! Next is who ? An Aquarius .....oh God. They are like so so so so so careful. About every thing.. plus so methodical. I will have to keep dancing around an Aquarius just to let him know that I'm actually ready for sex! The only person that comes to mind is a Cancer...... Virgo and Libra are not my type. They are too disciplined and focused and calm. They are too balanced for a freak like me. Plus I'm a freak in the sheets! The only Match is a Scorpio. But my God if a Scorpio ever looked at me angrily with a dead stare(that Scorpio stare that kills people) if there was ever a thing called "killing you with my eyes" then it fits the Scorpio to the T. If a Scorpio ever looked at me angrily with a dead stare, I'll be dead on the floor or I'll run out of the house to the hills and never come back. Please I'm a sensitive Pisces. Have mercy on my soul ! Spare me angry stares. The only place where a guy can look angrily at me is when he is about to fuck me. Then it's hot. Or else I'm scared the shuttle Outta me.

I have dated so many guys. I'm kinda tired.

I think I need to relax. I'm feeling hyper right now. I don't know what happened. My feelings can be pretty strong. And a non responsive environment can make me feel dead Anyway I have my plan under my belt and honestly nothing can be better than that..these are the best times.

@DrewNows like that

I need to make some tea and free up my head a little bit Too much cold and brain fog

All this ATTRACTION theory is making so much sense now.

Also something that I realized in this whole process is that I need to pay careful attention to the man I attract and also look into why I am attracting him and not someone else. This helps in finding clues that help with understanding my own self better. It becomes like a map. The more deeply I study what I'm attracted to the better I get at knowing which aspect of my own personality is causing me to attract the person thus helping me explore Myself better. For a lack of a better term it's like a reverse microscope that I'm using to study the man I'm attracted to yet it goes in the reverse direction to show aspects of my own self that are being reflected under that microscope.

Frankly speaking, this is exactly how it happened with me..it's as though the subconscious finds a way to do what it has to do. It's own internal warning system at work. So I attracted this relationship 3 years ago and it ended last year. And it had many elements that were similar to my childhood abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother. She would constantly keep me in fear. He was controlling and bossy like her, his mannerisms were like her even his spending habits were like her. It's almost I was with male version of my mom and the attraction was very intense. The relationship did hurt me a lot because I became a shell of myself in it,feeling abused and trapped. I got out of it, big thanks to the forum including you who forced and coaxed me out out of it. No denying that the relationship was horrible. Yet it brought to the surface questions regarding why all of this happened and then it lead me to understand that I was actually suffering from trauma which never occurred to me before that relationship. I suddenly became aware that I was living in traumatic state unknowingly and unaware.. once I understood that my trauma had attracted him to me, I started doing a lot of shadow work where I kept targeting my wounds.. once these wounds came to the surface, it was easy to let them go and heal those wounds and not be bothered by them. If it wasn't for that relationship, I probably would have carried the symptoms of trauma forever without realising. Strangely the relationship was like a big punishment yet at the same time it served like a launchpad for me to realize that I needed healing..

what-kind-of-a-man-im-attracted-to-and-why for-the-future-man-of-my-life becoming-a-high-quality-woman fluffy becoming-a-fully-integrated-person list who-can-destroy-true-love

This post I understood really well. It explained me both polarity and resonance. Correct me if my understanding of this post is wrong What I understand is this - Polarity and resonance will exist. Like coexist. Now if both polarity and resonance come from a space of core essence then it's a healthy polarity and healthy resonance? Now if the resonance is because of some shadow element involved, it means that the mind is simply looking to revisit or reactivate or replay aspects of that shadow/trauma. So this won't be healthy because it's based on an incorrect or false false foundation (like doomed from the start because the attraction itself is wrong attraction or faulty attraction )? Similarly if the polarity is due to this hidden subconscious shadow/trauma aspect,then once again this attraction is a futile attraction? And once this shadow is merged, healed and packed up, then it merges with the core essence and stops having its negative effect on attraction? After the all attraction both polarity and resonance happen from the core essence again and in a healthy way ? This is how I interpreted the post. Please correct me wherever I was wrong.

Does this statement mean that we attract someone based on our unhealed traumas and this causes reactivation of underlying traumas and this becomes an attraction pattern(unless dealt with)?

I understood some bits of this although I struggled because of some questions in my mind. People often say that "opposites attract." I understood that core vibrations means I'll attract a religious guy if I'm religious, for example.. similarly if I value dignity I'll attract a dignified guy. But what I didn't understand from the post is how do and why do opposites attract ? Like in my life, I observed that I'm soft tempered and I tend to attract hot tempered guys. It's like I always tend to attract that which is opposite of me/my nature or that which doesn't exist in me . I think this happens because of polarity and this polarity leads to magnetic attraction. How does this pattern factor into the above explanation of core and shadow vibrations. What kind of vibration is operating when I'm attracting the opposite kind?

I don't even know what happened. Because everything happened so quickly.

Hehe waited for this.

I almost kept shaking and trembling, it is that cold I don't know why.