Preety_India

@StarStruck you're conflating assertiveness with Devilry. Women don't reward(first of all its not reward, it's simply what women find better to deal with it, their natural preference) Devilry, they simply prefer a more open, confident and assertive guy Do you have a shadow against assertiveness and confidence ? How do you describe a nice guy ? Why do you Jump from one extreme of nice guy to the opposite extreme of a ruthless devil? Why is it so hard to find a grey area where a man is a healthy balance of being polite as well assertive ? You might also want to look into raising boundaries. If you think you're being "nice" it could even be (I'm saying probably) a lack of boundaries that reflects as being nice. A lack of boundaries is always going to be a problem. It can easily get masked as being "nice."

Finasiska... So yesterday I was contemplating about the latest bunch of female characters I had created. Kelenjer Zozha Finasiska Kelenjer was the free spirited woman. Independent. Chill. Finasiska is a woman with great confidence, ambition and never settles for anything less. I also have a third character in mind. I call her Zozha. And she is all about beauty and nature and somewhat new agey Spirituality. I'll try to imagine how each of these women look.

@Michael569 all of this is actually tied in with empathy.

One thing every morning you really can't afford to ignore anymore is a vision board! Set up a slate or a chalkboard. Then start with small goals and proceed to big goals In between all of your interruptions ask yourself - What do really care about ? What do I deserved ? Type out answers to this everyday.

@ll Ontology ll I was talking about your gain in the post dunning Krueger with respect to your own meta awareness ? Have you contemplated that aside from people you could yourself choose to think outside your own box? Isn't that meta awareness?

Felt a bit better this morning after having tea. Can I now write something useful ? I think I'll need a notepad to go along with my journals. I'll keep a private notepad. Collect my ideas there. Then separate those ideas, classify them and then write them in my journals. I have to choose a notepad for this Also use the system, that's a good idea too. One journal won't contain any address. The other journal will. This way a system can be established, a network generated and then created. It will be all fixed. No changes in this system. Everything totally fixed.

@ll Ontology ll and what is exactly your gain ?

I won't date an Aries. It's not working for me. The signature has gone stale. I need to change that. I usually get attracted to Taurus a lot. I'm keeping my options open for Aquarius,Leo and Cancer. So far I dated Pisces, Aries and Taurus. Somehow I'm always rotating between these signs. One thing is sure I will never date a Pisces again. Since I'm a Pisces , there is zero polarity and too much fighting. My strongest polarity was with Taurus so far. Others I didn't date.

I'm on a dating site right now. And last week I got 40 matches on my profile. But the thing is that I tend to slut shame myself and then I don't even talk to them. I get this feeling that if I talk to one guy and then if I talk to another guy then it feels like I'm disrespecting the first guy. I felt confused and the guys are still waiting to talk to me. Now in the morning a few of them called me and I just felt like how can talk to so many. Also this one-itis like you talk about, where if I talk to one guy then that guy is in my head. It's difficult to put another guy in my head. I'm not trying to get emotionally attached. So what should I tell a guy if he asks me -"are you talking to other guys beside me ? " I mean you are right. I should talk to many guys and I only talk to one guy at a time. It reduces my volume significantly because I cut out all guys for one guy

@Blackhawk it's ok.

My last thread on the forum. I constantly feel self pity. I feel ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I was born. I ask myself "why was I born in this world?" I don't like myself. I feel unworthy. My mom told me since the age of 12 that she had undergone an abortion before me and that she didn't want anymore kids. During my teenage years she would frequently argue with me and tell me that I was unwanted and undesirable child. I'm in my 20s now. She used to constantly tell me how she wished I wasn't born. She used to keep repeating this almost regularly. It started to make feel empty and unwanted. I feel like I'm sick of myself. I constantly feel like my birth was a huge mistake I don't know how to get over it.. These feelings are pretty intense and cause me mental breakdowns.

Yes sir !! Self esteem lessons I need to pick from you. (Although I'm not a man but similar applies to women)

How can a person be in a relationship and not be hurt by a cheating partner? It's not an open relationship after all. Pickup is whole nother ball game..

Until the day I die, I should always keep giving.

Just thoughts.

One of my mission statements (there can be multiple mission statements) is to create valuable contributions.

you can recreate yourself. You need trust in yourself.

My mission statement - I always thought the solution to what I wanted was to work harder, or be more focused to force the external situation into place.

Speaking to the collective You have to stay in the healing. Just let it go. Are you still stuck in anxiety ? Are you totally aware in this moment ?

@lisindel I was watching this video today.

Sometimes I think life is an instrument.

This thread is useful as well. can-i-attract-a-man-on-the-same-vibration-as-i?

This thread is a good start. high-quality-woman

@Rishabh R cheating is a very hurtful experience. I have experienced that in my past relationship. It can be very intense especially when the partner hides it from you and you figure it out later. So I can understand your anger. But it seems your anger has sadly turned into a trauma. This can turn into torture. You could be literally torturing yourself with such images. Be aware how this is impacting you. This trauma can turn into a cycle and then become an addiction where it will keep hurting you over and over. One thing that I did was I put my ex on full blast after I discovered his cheating. I turned up the heat and let out all my anger at him by saying everything I wanted to say. This way I got the opportunity to throw my anger at him right after the situation and then be done with it. Holding the anger would have caused me immense pain. So I kept roasting him for days and days and he kept listening to me patiently. He thought I would go back to him and he was waiting for the roasting to get over. I roasted him for full 7 days - verbal barking. After releasing all my anger at him, I packed my bags and left him. This was important for my mental health because keeping that anger is not good. So let it out. Write it down. I did a lot of name calling to my boyfriend that is ex boyfriend. If you can't talk to your ex then write it down somewhere and release all that anger. I cried a lot ???? for another whole month, screamed, kicked into pillow..maybe it's difficult for you to kick into pillow then kick into something that feels hard for you. Punch something that won't hurt. Release all that anger. It takes 2 month period in my estimate, if you are highly emotional like me to keep releasing that anger. It's like a vomiting process.Keep vomiting out that anger. Writing in a private diary is a good way of releasing Emotions and how much you hate that person for hurting you. Be careful though. Once you have screamed, kicked, punched and written and released everything and emptied your anger, you have to calm down otherwise this anger can consume you. Once you have calmed down, then try forgiveness. After two months of screaming kicking into pillow and lots of crying and bad mouthing my ex, I texted him and told him that I forgive him. I completely forgave him. This is very important because it's not good to hold that revenge or grudge inside. Because it's like trapping them into this anger/grudge. It's time to release that person. He felt good that I forgave him and he was relieved and relaxed. Because I can suddenly die one day in an accident and he will be left without forgiveness. That will be a spiritual problem. Before it turns into a spiritual problem, forgive that person as the last stage. Then watch Leo's video on forgiveness and letting go. First releasing the anger is important. Forgive only after all the anger is emptied on that person. Once you have forgjven,you'll feel a sense of internal peace.. Once you reach this stage then try to forget that person completely. Remove every item that reminds you of that person (any gift/letter etc) Now move on with your life and accept that bad things happen and it's spiritually outside your control. Find a partner who is less likely to cheat although this is difficult, even I struggle with this. The problem is that there is no 100% guarantee how a person will behave in a relationship. A relationship is like gambling. That's why you should not be too Emotionally attached early on.. Try to check how the person behaves with you. If they give early signs of cheating like flirting or talking too much about others, make it clear to them that you have strong boundaries and then leave them. With me the problem was that I had already seen red flags like flirting etc but I didn't take it seriously. I didn't establish boundaries. So it went on and l kinda remained oblivious.. There are always warning signs. Like lack of commitment. But even then it's not easy. Sometimes people flirt but they don't cheat. It's tricky. Like I have flirted while being in a relationship because I'm naturally flirty person yet I'm extremely loyal and never had the thought to cheat. But there are people who don't openly flirt yet they cheat behind your back. So it's really about moral integrity and character. You need a high value person to value your relationship. Only then they won't cheat. Sadly we are now living in a society where people rarely value relationships. They justify cheating or simply don't care. People make fake promises of loyalty and don't keep the trust. And that's absolutely crushing and hurtful I have been through that process. It is devastating. Nothing but to accept reality. And just keep looking for honest loyal people, hard to find though That's why I am currently not looking for a relationship. I am scared that it will happen again. And I want to be with someone who is loyal. That was always my number one priority.