Preety_India

Is there something that I'm deeply looking for and I don't find it ? Should I shame myself for it ?

So yea where does this come from ? Where do these thoughts and feelings come from ?

@Chew211 nope. This subject is about guys I meet in real life or boyfriends specifically. The forum thing didn't even start, it was nothing basically,just some coldness. However this topic is about guys I seriously dated.

I feel like crying an awful lot. Just letting it all out. It's too hard on me Just confronting all my insecurities. This is the hardest thing to do. It is making me so emotional because I'm directly touching each of my wounds.

This is the hardest thing to do.

I'm crying so much right now because this is so hard.

My Number 1 insecurity Loneliness This is my number 1 insecurity. I feel lonely an awful lot. There has got to be something going on inside of me that is causing me to feel so incredibly lonely This loneliness could be an inherent thing that's causing me to act out in abnormal ways without realising it.

@Eph75 you're right. I definitely need a kick in the butt and you do a good job at kicking my butt out of the sand.

2 Ways of targeting these insecurities One is to expose them and be upfront about them Do shadow work

@Jon_Bundesen well that's called life. I would be hurt as well if a guy rejected me. That's just how things are That's the learning you're actually and subconsciously looking for Rest is just cushioning and running away from real learning.. aka self preservation.

@Jon_Bundesen you don't need to go to parties. You can have sex in your bedroom and then get on with your work. You don't need partying to explore pleasure..

Tell her upfront that you want only sex. If she finds you attractive enough, then she might say yes or she will flake on you.

Not saying things openly has its own beauty.

Well you can always have sex with someone as long as you are upfront and honest about what you want. If you aren't looking for a relationship, don't make her feel like you do, because that would mean dishonesty on your side. Be open and clear intent right from the get go. You don't wanna screw this.

I also carry a lot of resentment against my ex and I deal with it time to time by Letting it out of my system. I express it in my journal. I sometimes cry. Crying is a release. Important is to forgive that person because forgiveness brings healing in the end By forgiving you're healing parts of yourself that are wounded.

Maybe this is what I can start focusing on as a starting point. I can use alphabets to track and once the trail is over, start back again. Like for example A..... B .. C..

Things that I can do.

Spiritual platitude.

Each has its own place. How do you know how I feel when I'm aroused ? There is no way unless you become me. My orgasms could be stronger than your jerking.

Guys want to know everything. That's a secret I'm taking to my grave. I don't even tell my boyfriend, let alone these stranger men. Bwahahahaahahhahahahah

I guess I resonate with this This is the reason why it's so difficult for me to be selfish. It's like going backwards after going forwards. I mean imagine if you are running your car in reverse direction. There's a lot of resistance, the car makes a lot of noise, too much friction and inability to control , maybe hitting some tree on the way back. I guess this resistance is causing me to not become more selfish. It's like I'm applying the brake and still forcing the steering wheel, the car is trying to go ahead yet the brake means it is stuck and feels trapped in this state. This is a difficult challenge on the path of Spirituality. Going forward but also going reverse. Trying to become selfless, then it backfires then trying to become selfish becomes difficult. It's like a candle that is melting. I can use the example of a candle to explain this . The candle when it's solid nobody can make an impression on it because it's hard to do Now in order to progress SPIRITUALLY, the candle has to become melt and become soft. However in the soft melted state it's very easy to make an impression on it. But this is bad for the candle's health. So the candle needs to become hard again. But this process again needs time and patience.. Once the candle has become hard it needs to become soft again to progress spiritually. This cycle will continue endlessly in iterations between hard and soft I will have to unlearn my selflessness and charitable attitude and become selfish then once again learn selflessness and then come back to selfishness. It's like balancing a rod while walking on a tight rope. Holding the rod helps me survive on the rope. If i keep focusing on the rope too much, I might lose focus on the rod and fall off balance. If I focus too much on the rod, then I'll survive but I'll forget to walk on the rope.

So obviously you'll be focused on male agenda. And you're a male on top of that. Why should I listen to you? By the way I'm also your audience, although a minority.

Dude if you wanna ignore, there is ignore option in settings. just ignore. I do the same to others whose stuff I don't wanna read. If my comments are of zero worth to you, you are wasting your time on me. You can spend it better talking to people who you get along with. No more comments at me please, I don't like it. You be you, I have no problem.

@fopylo aren't feelings used for navigation?

@fopylo I still don't understand you. I read it twice. Still not understanding your point.