Preety_India

Admiration based love is never true love.

Control your attention seeking behaviour.

I had the same exact thought. Do you like country music ?

Lots of deeper concepts Do you want a guy that you attracted or do you want a genuine guy ......be the village belle Validation is a bad thing. It's a dopamine thing. It's a dangerous thing. . You'll always need a strong guy. Without doubt The analogy of the guy A guy B guy C and guy D. Even intimacy can be faked The female version of the nice guy. Why acting "hold off" works so well. But do you really wanna attract that ? Watch whenever you are looking for validation Watch out for narcissistic guys You need you. You be you Self love is the Highest form of love intimacy is only real in the absence of things. Not in the presence of things. love is never Unconditional. Only the highest form of love can exist. One tip - don't be the first person to communicate. Let the person come to you. So you don't feel rejected. Being a soft person is not wrong so if a person hates you for being soft, there's a problem with them, rather than you. .

@RoerAmit I like logical guys. I don't like "stupid and fun" the way Leo says it. I don't even know what that means. But I would be turned off if a guy was acting stupid because it would mean I'm stupid. So the answer to your question will be that you be your authentic self. I don't know about hot girls. But my advice will for authentic women.

@Vzdoh then why does Leo and other guys say that if they like a woman and want her, they are going to show it through sexual intimacy ? So does this mean that a guy showing sexual interest in me is truly interested in me or simply sexually interested in me ? Since that's his version of intimacy ?

@SamC Another way to express what I would define as intimacy as per me is this- Who is strong firm and loving, supportive Someone who really wants you and is not half hearted about it Someone who creates trust and respects you deeply Someone who genuinely cares Someone who understands you the way you wish to be understood Someone who doesn't take you for granted Someone who treats you right. The way you wish to be treated.

Be with a guy Who is strong firm and loving, supportive Someone who really wants you and is not half hearted about it Someone who creates trust and respects you deeply Someone who genuinely cares Someone who understands you the way you wish to be understood Someone who doesn't take you for granted Someone who treats you right. The way you wish to be treated.

Your advice is awesome. I especially liked this part where I need to understand that he is prioritising sex over emotional bond But there is a dichotomy in my brain, a sort of confusion. Leo and many other men on this forum constantly say that guys version of intimacy is through sex. So I tend it to take it as his version of being intimate with me. Maybe that's the reason why I connect me being aroused as me having submitted to him, because if it's his intimacy and if I accept it as his intimacy, I sort of participated in being intimate with him, this generates the thought that I gave him my love by showing arousal ?

This advice is gold.

The best strategy is to avoid horny men. And then I won't feel so aroused.

Note to myself- Don't talk to following guys Don't talk to guys who are too sexy Don't react when a guy smiles Don't respond to flirty text messages Don't read trigger words (aka sexy phrases, immediately turn away when you read those, don't let it enter the brain) Guys usually try hard to place their dick in your head. Resist their efforts. A few days back I received a flirty text. Hmm. And I responded to it after which I felt aroused. Not good. Don't read hardcore stuff that guys write. This is my major turn on. I need to turn it off. Don't read "it." Don't talk to specific people who turn me on. Talk to guys who say things in non sexual manner. If a guy flirts too much, cut him off the list. He is major culprit behind my horniness. Keep it to platonic non sexual conversations with men and only discuss relevant stuff. Talk to guys in funny cute ways without making it horny. Keep away from horny guys. Horny guys make me more horny. Don't be around horny guys.

Sign out and sign in. Problem solved.

I know I should not feel ashamed. Easier said than done.

@Ilan it's interfering with my work.. Last 3 days I spent thinking that a guy is fucking me and kept watching porn and every time I tried to return back to normal, I felt aroused again and submitted to those desires again It was too impulsive. Yea it's normal but usually this is not how I am so this tells me that something is making me extra horny than usual. I don't watch horny videos. Last month I didn't watch any porn. The videos that I generally watch are Cat videos, bird videos or self help or Leo videos. Past 3 days I felt a strong urge to watch porn. So I did Now I don't want to be in this hyper aroused state all the time. It also makes me sexual towards guys. Not a good strategy. I don't want to feel very sexual around guys. It screws my brain. So yea I'm doing noFap and control all this sudden error in my sexual programming. Won't do any masturbation today. Day 1. I guess I will be able to handle this. I should not read any guy Saying sexy things. Full control mode.

Yesterday I spent whole day feeling guilty and upset and feeling red faced in guilt and shame. It's like I gave into guilty pleasure I didn't have this problem last year. Something about this place that's turning up my horniness. I need to tone it down and do some sort of NoFap that guys do so I don't get aroused so much. It is distracting me from work seriously.

So last three days I spent masturbating to porn.. Feel very guilty right now. Not good at all. I feel extremely ashamed of myself. Why do I do this ? Why can't I control myself ?

I need to cut back.

Ok I kinda dropped dead in my chair while writing the post above. When I woke up and saw what I wrote I was like - wtf I think what I wanted to say is that some of the stuff here has begun to make me so horny, it's not good.

Only guys who flirt in seductive sexual manner. The guys who talk normal don't have any impact on me, with them I am not turned on. But I lose control completely when the guy starts flirting or touchy(like holding my hand/moving fingers through my hair or touching my cheeks/ shoulders etc) Or if he stares into my eyes deeply, it becomes extremely difficult for me to say no or look away. I become very aroused/stimulated. I don't like it because it makes me feel flustered or embarrassed. The guy usually ends up kissing me when he can sense it in my eyes/my face usually changes color and turns more red or pink like stimulated and he can catch it that I'm stimulated and I don't refuse his kiss. Later I regret giving him so much power over me. I usually don't meet the guy again.

Do skim.

Hopefully I don't go through a nightmare. Just thinking about the needle gives me heart attack.

I'm just scared of the needle that's all.