Preety_India

This is the most important journal of my life. #childrenoftruth #childrenofinnocence I like the music in this video although I don't like the song.

Before I die, I want some reconciliation with my mother as some favor/grace to her before death. I want to let go of revenge feelings.

I never want my mother to even touch my corpse because she has no right. She brought tremendous suffering on me.

Only two words to describe my family. #Blackhearts. Living among us are psychopaths. #therewillbejustice #thereiskarma #God protect us from the Blackhearts. Protect us from their deeds.

When you see the bad side of some humans, it's actually a blessing. You realize what humanity is.

I make a prayer so that anyone out there looking for freedom becomes free.

@Dumuzzi they told me today something like"go die if you don't want to listen to us." It's hard to communicate with them. Very domineering. I can't really cut off. So I just need to be strong and keep resisting as hard as I can Most Indian families think of a girl/daughter as a burden who should be gotten rid off. It doesn't matter whoever she marries, they won't care. I'll try to get away from them but that will take some time. But I still don't feel confident that I can manage on my own. If I move to a big city, prices are even higher. It's hard life. And when family is uncooperative, it gets harder. Personally I am so done with them. Western people take their freedom for granted.

Ahh, now that's a good male. Women would have liked you.

Only three words will matter...hope, faith and divinity. Liberation from suffering Hope Staying away from the unjust

That's successful men..but average men just want the hot girls but go around complaining how they don't value intellect.. well weren't they attracted to her only for the looks!

A prayer in times of trouble.

so holy so sacred And whenever I think about happiness or happy times, I think of this indian woman dancing in front of the temple, in front of Indian God statues. It brings a feeling of how life must have been in ancient India, the golden India, where girls would go around dancing, singing songs, where there was no pain of modern materialistic living, no chaos, a simple religious life of love and peace, people being simple and no ego, no egoic games, no hate, only wanting goodness, being in communion with God ready for a new day with new Hope, living in God's image, his glory,his grace to guide everything. God liberating us from suffering and protecting us from foes and those who are cruel,shallow, greedy.

So holy so sacred. In my deepest sorrows, I want to sing kumbaya with the dearly departed souls who left for heaven. See? There's heaven.. there must be ..for all those sad suffering souls on earth, there must be a heaven somewhere because this world appears like hell. This is real hell. There cannot be any worse. But maybe somewhere over the rainbow, there's a heaven where all the peaceful people can go and rest. All the people who were fed up with this world and it's rules and requirements. All those people who were too spiritual for this planet. Those people who left because they could take no more. I feel their voices, their spirits,from beyond the grave, telling me how everything is so awful, how their lives were systematically destroyed by circumstances. How they finally succumbed to the unbearable. They were so holy, so sacred. There is a childish innocence about a person who doesn't fit into this world. I wanna ask those people who died, "do you feel liberated at last?" I feel like we can sing kumbaya together because as good innocent people we belong to each other. We're the loving people, love is our religion, we love loving the divine. Maybe we can ask for liberation for each one of us. Not for everyone though. Because there are some wolves in sheep's clothing amongst us, who wish to play the games of the world. What do we do with them ? Just ignore those wolves and let them who they are. Our prayer should always be to keep ourselves very very far away from them. And far away from their egoic games. .

Good tips. I'll bear in mind.

So holy so sacred. Yesterday I was watching this video on suicides By train. It made me very emotional because I relate to the pain they felt. How terrible life has to be that makes you think that a violent end is a better option. I wish I could meet those people in heaven and I would give each one of those a hug. I'll sing kumbaya with them and let them know that life is brutal but yes we're free.

Nope. Everything around me operates in business mode. Don't know what you mean by this. Nope. I really want to marry a good man..but I don't want my family to decide things or interfere.As usual they interfere with everything and make my life much harder. Today my family told me to kill myself in the morning if I wasn't listening to them. They told me I wasn't worth living in society. Yes this is happening with me. I distract myself a lot in order to forget my pain so I don't focus on solutions. It's like a coping strategy. The coping strategy is to simply forget until it becomes severe. I agree. I work part time. Also I have heart issues so I can't take a lot of stress. I'm in my 20s but I was born with congenital heart issues so it's tough for me to do any job on a full scale, I get stressed out very quickly so I only do little work and earn little money to pay my regular bills. Yea I might look for a job once I'm able to travel again. Right now there are restrictions because of the third wave of Covid 19. So most places are still closed. It will take another three months before job openings start again. Till then I'm stuck in my current job. Sounds good. I really don't know. I can't explore right now. Things I can only do once this whole lockdown situation is dealt with. Most people are out of jobs in my area right now. I need to bear this in mind. I am always looking for perfectionist solutions. Absolutely nobody. My wider family are really cruel people. There's one Uncle who is good. But whenever I talk to him, my family bashes me for it. It's like I'm bringing dishonor to my family in their eyes Really don't know. Money might be needed to move out. But given my earning capacity, not sure if I can sustain it even if I initially move out. The financial situation of my friends also is pretty bad..they are stuck in low end Jobs and they are stuck with parents, but their parents are at least better.

It might appear that I'm generalizing..And I'm aware that there are women who are not only beautiful but also smart. But these guys are usually looking for instagram models, at least that's what they constantly keep talking about in this dating forum very often. That's why I used that as an example. But there are tons of beautiful women on instagram who love to flaunt, of course they also make money out of it and get plenty of men to like them and ask them out. This is like a new phenomenon I'm observing. Now whether they have low self esteem or high self esteem, it's up to them. They kinda want use their own beauty for whatever means and it seems guys are going gaga over them. My point was not so much about the Beauty brain analogy (sorry If I was generalizing) but that the guy I replied to tends to approach women who are generally immature and like assholes and not him because they aren't matured enough to be with good men, so I was trying to explain him that if that's what he is looking for, that's what he will end up with. However he isn't too interested in the emotionally matured women because they're unattractive in his eyes. So if he is going for a girl who has no brains or doesn't value intellectual conversations, then why is he complaining that they don't like intellectual conversations,when he is choosing them purely because they're hot material, obviously if they're lacking it, isn't he looking in the wrong place?

Depends on the level of consciousness of the girl. If I went for a thug, it's only my fault. If you're looking for girls who lack emotional and spiritual maturity, that's what you'll end up with. I can't date an asshole or some psycho who has no emotional understanding and still pretend like I deserve the best. I get what I choose. That's the law of Nature. Nobody to blame but me. You can't have the cake and eat it too. You want both emotional maturity and attraction combined into one. Doesn't work like that It's like if I said I want to guy who beats up people but also has a good heart. Very few women possess both at the same time. You'll find tons of average girls who will love intelligent and intellectual conversations, they would love to share emotional space with you, yet they won't be hot looking. But they will meet other needs. If you're looking for someone hot who spends tons of energy and time into her looks and is generally shallow, then that's what you get, because that's what you were looking for. Of course there are women who are not only attractive but also intelligent and well rounded, yet they are rare. You can't have everything in one. You want the brains and skills of an average girl but the beauty of a hot woman. Umm, doesn't work. Can I have a super rich guy who also knows how to do construction work or clean hotels ? That would be laughable because the rich won't have those skills.. Similarly I can't ask for someone who is super fit but is also addicted to alcohol so I enjoy drinking with them ! You only get your share of the plate. Women when they don't look beautiful, develop other traits like intelligence and wisdom and art etc, because they try to increase their attractiveness in other ways, or they simply grow in other ways. Have you seen a lab scientist looking hot like a Victoria Secret Model ? You can't have both. If there is a woman who is vainly obsessed with her beauty, and she has looks to go with her vanity, then she is less likely to be involved with medical research or become the next tech genius in the world. She will obviously be on social media like instragram flaunting herself, working in modeling, going to malls etc. She will be looking for a fickle conversation and probably a high value high earning guy who can support her gregarious lifestyle. Because she will have big things on her list like vacations, big trips, expensive diamond rings, a guy who can give her all, obviously she knows she is attractive and men will throw themselves at her, then why will she look for intellectual conversations or intellectually stimulating dudes when she is just not into it but into shallow vain things like money and vacations.. You are trying to mix two things. You want the normalcy of an average girl but also the hotness of the hot girl , all combined into one. It's like me saying I want a millionaire but he should like me for being an average girl or he should hang out with me in a trailer park. First of all a millionaire will never pick an average girl like me when he got the option for hot girls, second he won't hang out in a trailer park or a boat with me, because he wants to be on a cruise ship. Whatever you try to say is along the lines of - you're biting more than you can chew. You want to have it all meanwhile just being an average guy yourself. You want someone who is out of your league yet you don't want someone who could easily fit into your league and by that I mean an average girl.. You want someone who has lot of options but you don't want someone with fewer options. Because you ain't providing the sexual value that the hot girl wants. Yet you can easily provide value to an average girl but you don't want to. In one breath if you ask me- why aren't hot girls attracted to me when I can be so intellectual, in the same breath I can ask you - why aren't you attracted to average girls who are intellectual ? There you get your answer.

Thank you. You have shown me more grace and mercy than my own family. God bless..

@ivankiss I'm trying to do that.

Nope.

@Willie I don't have money to move out. I'm dependent on them for the house rent. I can't afford it. I can only afford my other bills like food, transport and electrical. Rest I cannot afford. Because of a huge population, rent is extremely high due to riding demand.

I wish I was never born in this country. Never born in such pathetic circumstances. All people who come from Western countries in this forum, consider yourself very lucky. You have no idea what it's like to be born in a Third world country. It's awful both financially and emotionally. You have basically no freedom. I never want children. Because I don't want them to suffer the fate I suffered. It's best if no child is ever born in the third world because they have to go through so much. I decided to not have children even when I was 14 years old, even at that time I was acutely aware of the suffering around me. So consider yourself lucky if you are born in the West, the taste of freedom is beautiful, something you'll never experience in the third world, where all you see is Stage Blue authoritarianism and parental nonsense..and social control.

Portrait for famguy

Suburbians are a bunch of rabbits. Winderbeetle is a Doctor. Infinite imaginations.