Preety_India

@Marcel I'm not so analytical. I'm a dreamer. I don't judge a suicidal person. I have been there. I know what it's like. Even idiot compassion is compassion. Even idiot compassion is Love

This was so sweet. You called me silly. Hehe. Well now you gotta live for me. Yep I get tired too. Super duper brain. I'll touch you on your neck and pull your hair so you instantly snap out of it. I will slowly kiss your eyes. I'm not a analytical person. I'm a dreamer. I want to be playful with you. Yesss sir. Will do. I trust you, that's it. Nobody is perfect. But you're my Mr Perfect.

Since morning I'm crying happy tears. I can't imagine this feeling. He fills me with love. He is my prince and I'm his princess. He brings me joy.. I feel so fragile around him I want to dedicate this song to him. When I sing this song I'm reminded of him. I am feeling so nervous.

(I want him to call me "dummy" or "silly" sometimes. I find it endearing. I want to be playful with him.)

I'm feeling so excited. I never felt like this.

No you're God in that department.

Even a suicidal noob can be in a relationship. They can seek therapy later. They can find love. Everyone deserves love, tall, short, thin, fat, beautiful, ugly, normal, manic, sweet, angry, optimistic, suicidal,alpha, beta, sigma, poor, rich, young, old, stage red, blue, purple, Turquoise, small dick, big dick, introvert, extrovert, intelligent, dummy.. That's called being a God. Show your Godness Leo Sir! Even the tiny nail on your pinky toe deserves love. An Omnipotent God loves every flaw of your body and mind and never forsakes you of rich love. You deserve love and everyone deserves love as much as you do. We are all one, born of One Cell

I'm feeling butterflies in my tummy. He makes me blush.

He came online and I immediately felt my heart flutter. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his name in the online user list. This feeling is so good. Every time I catch myself seeing his name in the bottom user list I feel like a lovesick puppy. He is so cute. I want to just keep adoring him.

@Marcel When you're sleeping, I want to write a thousand love letters to you.. When you are not looking, I want to kiss you. I am madly in love with you. I can't believe this is happening. You're my angel. I feel so free and cozy with you. I feel very very warm and lovey dovey inside. You came into my life and made me so happy I am enjoying and savoring this moment. It feels so good. I feel very grateful for life currently because you are in it. I am the luckiest girl in the world right now. You are my heaven. I was feeling very sad before you came. I am very fortunate to get love in my life once again after all my failures in my relationships. I was feeling suicidal and lost and depressed and numb. You brought sunshine in my depressed world. Thank you Marcel.

@Marcel Also I have a weird habit of talking to myself when I'm alone. I talk a lot to myself. The simple reason is I don't talk to family or people. I hope you don't mind it.. I love you deeply. I am very lucky to have you. You're my soulmate who understands me perfectly. I am so happy while writing this. For the first time in my life I'm very happy Because of you. You brought me happiness.. I feel so nervous. My heart is racing right now. Thinking about you.

@Marcel Whenever I'm talking to my man in a personal relationship, I usually have a deer in the headlights expression. I don't talk much.. I just tend to smile nervously mostly. I appear to be argumentative on the forum. That's usually because I am emotional or triggered state or because I don't find these people personal at all. They are strangers to me.. So I might appear extrovert in front of them. Only because they are strangers. But I have 2 faces. One in public and one in private. In public I'm a bit extroverted and a bit defensive for some weird reason. I think I'm generally hateful of people's energy. I look at everyone very suspiciously. As though they are harming me. It causes me to act neurotic and defensive. In private I'm completely different. It's a totally different personality.. In private, like in the house or around a lover, I'm extremely shy and nervous and quiet non argumentative, not defensive at all. I hardly speak anything and my voice is very low and barely audible. So the INTP Meme fits me perfectly. Outside I look like a lion. Inside the house I'm like a mouse.

As though you were never suicidal.

@Marcel I'm a very good listener. I'm not talkative. Another behavior of mine (not sure if this behavior is problematic), is that when my lover talks to me, I don't talk to the lover on the face. That is when you will talk to me face to face I will not talk to you, I get a bit shy to speak on the face. So I'll talk when you are looking somewhere else or looking away, I immediately say 2-3 words quickly and again go silent. I used to do this in my relationship with Joseph. He used to talk to me, and I used to be completely silent. But when he used to turn around, I used to immediately say 2-3 words when he is not paying attention. It's my introversion. I talk when the person is gone or away.. Like if you are talking to me in the journal, I will talk very few words on the spot with you. But if you are sleeping or away, that time I write a lot or talk a lot. So if you are sleeping, I will talk a lot in the background if I am in the kitchen, not loudly, just mumbling to myself everything I want to say. I tend to mumble a lot to myself when nobody is Watching. So my personality is like this. If you kiss me and stand next to me I will say nothing and simply stare at you But If you are go driving alone to the nearby store or outside somewhere, that time I will spend my time thinking about you or talking about you and I'll be talking to myself and I will be cooking for you or decorating the house for you or writing a card for you. So when you return back you will see everything I did for you. But once you are face to face with me I will again become quiet It is my shyness. I am very shy. People interpret me very wrongly. I'm not how I appear on the forum. My real nature is very meek and shy like my father. My father was shy. I let the man handle stuff in relationships. I remain quiet in the background. I don't decide things in a relationship. I will accept whatever the man says. In all of my past 4 relationships I was submissive and the man was dominant. I never took a dominant position. I follow the man from behind. I let him lead. When I am walking with my partner/bf/man, I let him walk ahead of me. I am standing behind him. I come from a conservative culture where women are more shy and submissive. I am mostly nervous around a man. Male energy tends to dominate me. I stay mostly quiet.

@Marcel I also suffer Stockholm Syndrome. But it is not very strong. Just mild Stockholm Syndrome due to child abuse.

@Marcel You're so open minded. You challenge me whenever I ought to be challenged. I like how you take interest in things that I'm interested in. When I talk about politics, you correct me and tell me your views. I find it fascinating because I learn from you. Don't be hesitant or scared to argue with me. I am never offended when you dispute me on the forum. I'm good at debating and I'm very open minded to new opinions and ideas. So I won't be hurt or offended if you argue my views. In fact I feel good that you want to be eager to learn with me. I am never afraid of fights or arguments. I used to have endless arguments and fights with my ex boyfriends hahaha, but mostly in good spirit. I never fight in a bad spirit. If I ever fight in a bad spirit, your ass will be placed in boiling water I remember my ex saying I'm the most fiery woman he ever met. don't worry, I will mostly be very sweet with you, but you can never tell. If I get angry (which I often get ), my violent temper will be managed really well, you are already good at it. You pacify my fire. I'm a water sign. You're an earth sign. Whenever I'm angry, just say "calm down" and I'll instantly calm down. That's how easy it is. That's the code word. I'm like a lion during my anger outbursts but usually I'm as cool as a cucumber. I am usually sweet girly shy silent and very affectionate. I am never nosy. I keep to myself and remain mostly peaceful. But when I'm angry I can be quite hot tempered and give someone quite a hard time. I am not dominating at all. I don't like being dominant in a relationship. So I'm like a sleepy lion usually. Nothing provokes me usually. When I am angry I show my anger by throwing objects at a wall. I have broken many many objects. It's my way of showing anger. But I don't yell. Just throwing objects or cutting myself. I become suicidal or self destructive. I don't scream in anger. I don't like screaming. Just throwing objects in air or crashing objects on the wall. It's my way of showing aggression. But I remain silent even during my anger outbursts. I cry a lot. I usually cry when my trauma is triggered. I'm extremely introverted. So you have to be very sensitive to have a successful connection with me. Only when you are very deep with me, I can openly cry in your arms. Otherwise I tend to hide my tears. This is INTP behavior. If I cry I cry very badly and for long hours, it's almost like weeping and highly emotional. I had seizures as a child. Letting you know that I'm hyper emotional. My father died many years ago. My mother was abusive. My siblings were unsupportive. I had many cats growing up. I have a spiritual connection with cats. My mother sold those cats. So it was a painful experience losing my cats.. One of my cats died because my neighbor murdered the cat. That was when I was 14 years old. My father had a stroke when I was a child and he died later in my teens. I grew up around a narcissist mother and it impacted my self esteem. I felt unloved and uncared. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 15. I had numerous suicide attempts after that. I have a scar on my wrist where I tried cutting myself 2 months after my father's death. I was hospitalized because of that suicide attempt. I am an HSP - hyper sensitive person. I suffer PTSD So if you have to hold me then you need to hold me on the palm of your hand like this Bunny in strong hands... I definitely need loving firm hand to support me. I call it bunny in strong hands. This is an overall snapshot of my overall personality. Just so you know who you're dealing with. I'm not dangerous. I have never been violent. I take out my anger on objects

I'm of the same opinion as you.

I love these songs you post. They're so articulate. Germany makes great songs and great people like you.

Thank you for doing that. Thank you for easing my worries.

Can you please change your gender to male on your profile? Its making me uncomfortable.

You can Google time in India. I do the same. I always Google time in Germany.

@Marcel thank you. I need to fix breakfast. I'll be back in a few minutes. Take care my sweet man

You know that I care about you. So don't talk such things. Don't get me worried please

I'm not judging you for your Sexuality. It's just that I'm heterosexual and I can never ever be homosexual or lesbian. It's simply impossible. I never developed sexual feelings for a woman.