Preety_India

@Girzo I have meditated for years as a child. I come from India where meditation is the staple of everyday life. I didn't live western life. I lived a very coccooned existence where I never talked to anyone. I couldn't speak two words or put two sentences together. I was horribly abnormal and there was no way to exist around people because of my social anxiety that I developed as a result of a spiritual existence. I'm a human being, it is impossible to survive in seclusion. My environment never offered me a semblance of a social life, it's completely opposite of what you see in western countries. As a result of my social and self imposed isolation as a child, I suffered deep psychological distress. The forum gave me an outlet to be a bit of an extrovert. To communicate with people, to share and learn. This has built my social confidence, made me less lonely and isolated, healed the psychological distress and gave me some semblance of normalcy as a human being. So those 20,000 posts, I wear them with pride, they are an indication of my tremendous effort that I put in to pull myself out of my introverted shell and I learned so much that has helped me emotionally and psychologically that mere spiritual practices of meditation can never fix and never cure. So my own Intuition has lead me here and I am blessed to be on this forum. I have never had this level of progress. Without interacting with people here, I probably would have turned into a lunatic in Self isolation and without having a community to support me. The social support received here has partially healed. You can't heal a broken leg by running.

@Girzo I know what's best for me. I had tremendous growth. Thanks. Truly grown people don't feel the need to impose their standards and metrics on others. Everyone has their own destination and their own path that others cannot decide.

Find healthier habits.

Yes totally agree.

@Marcel thank you. I absolutely love it.

Very very important piece of information Very confrontational attitude Boldness Openness.. Be very open about how you feel. Don't be scared to say what you feel Very very very strict boundaries Not be too emotionally attached. Stop being emotionally invested. Don't guilt yourself Be smart and be Frank about your needs. Without shame and with proper pride in non Confrontational way, diplomatic, prioritise yourself and assert without false shame/guilt Distance yourself

Can't say that I can't agree with you. Sometimes life can be unusually dark and sometimes it's unusually beautiful!

Just relax yourself as much as possible. Don't listen to any music during this time. Don't take psychedelics or alcohol or caffeine. Just walk a lot, that reduces tendencies of brain zapping. Keep your mind mostly empty. Try to get enormous amounts of sleep. Your brain will go back to its original wiring. Wait at least 2 weeks for the results.

@Marcel thank you.

I'm not saying that.. You're taking it the wrong way. What I meant is that if there are many posts it shouldn't be considered as a sign of "waste of time" or "not a learner or not adept" just as the number doesn't indicate development necessarily according to you. If you are not going to judge someone for having a higher post count, why judge them for having a lower count either? To me both directions look like a spiritual dick measuring contest. If the presence of something shouldn't conspire judgement, neither should the absence of it, keep it fair both ways.

I sincerely thank the following members for my growth on this forum @Marcel @Nahm @Loba @lxlichael @modmyth @Hulia @sda @MuadDib @bejapuskas @Ananta @Myioko @Eph75 @Loving Radiance @mememe Thanks guys for being patient with me and helping me in my journey. And a special thanks to @Natasha for being so kind and supportive And @DrewNows

I disagree. Post count does matter a shit ton.. It shows how much effort a person is putting in. I have seen tremendous progress in people with higher post count. You're being very short sighted in expecting that growth should stop at 200 posts. Growth is infinite. Don't be so judgemental on simple metrics like post count. It means nothing and if at all only means something positive. People with higher post count aren't coming here to simply waste time. Nobody is that dumb. I'm not persuading you. But please please open your mind. Growth is infinite, please remember that.

A person cannot simply stop thinking about it. They need to be talked out of it. Time, compassion, patience and love can help with talking a person out of suicide. It's some work but someone got to do that work. Also being non judgemental about suicidal people goes a long way in healing them.

@Marcel Well what can I say Mr Supercomputer.. You have turned me into a more loving person. I was a bit more hateful and stingy/defensive before meeting you. You create love in me. I've become so much calmer after meeting you. My love.

@Hulia and you have been so supportive of me. I simply cannot thank you enough for standing by me throughout my time on the forum You're strong, smart, successful, wonderful. Cheers girl.

@Hulia like my boyfriend Marcel says, I need to show compassion to trolls. And yes Marcel is my angel.

@Marcel Posting this song here

Indeed

Have you experienced something like this? I feel like from inside, I'm changing in a massive way. Like a huge change. Do you ever feel like your whole personality is going to change 180 degrees. For example, let's say you were an angry or aggressive person and now something is making you change into a milder calmer friendlier person. Or let's take the opposite. You were a gentle person but now you are getting angrier, or just stricter.. Let me explain what's happening to me. My facial expressions are changing from sweet to mean/strict. I'm changing from a gentler person to someone more strict, pragmatic and matured, more serious and a bit bolder. I feel some kind of inner metamorphosis. Like my inner self is struggling to come out or is undergoing huge transformation. And it's saying very loudly a very big FUCK YOU. It's asking me - why the hell do you care about all this drama around people? If they judge you, blame you, hold you responsible when you didn't do shit, then fuck it, who cares? It's like my inner self is challenging me big time to pick myself up by the bootstraps and not give a damn anymore, because nobody gave a damn about me. Is this a sign of inner growth? I feel a sense of boldness and self empowerment. Like why should I care what someone thinks of me. I used to engage in people pleasing behavior and I took a lot of shit in the process. But now my inner self is saying - STOP!!!! DEVELOP AN EGO. STOP GIVING A DAMN. A strong inner resistance developing gradually. Will this turn me into a narcissist? I feel like I'm developing a strong defense mechanism. Like building a wall around myself where only those people can scale the wall who aren't going to fuck with me anymore, aren't going to play mind games, aren't going to be passive aggressive or manipulate me or aren't going to give me a lame treatment. It's like my my heart is saying — if they don't treat you right, just don't put up with it anymore. The call is yours to make, not theirs. Take back power. Does this feel right or does this feel narcissistic? When I had these thoughts, this music was playing in my mind. Pretty aggressive.

@Anonymoooous you need to grow the fuck up and stop with this harassment. Is this your 8th account? I have never seen such behavior before. You're harassing me since last 8 hours now.. You have huge issues. Stop this behavior.

@Hulia thank you. There's a person who is trolling me constantly on this journal writing weird stuff and is constantly making lots of accounts and posting the same stuff. Keep reporting that person.

@Marcel that's a cool one.

@Anonymooous stop with it.

@Anonymooous @Nahm @universe