Preety_India

Who you kidding? You spent a decent amount of time playing video games. You know it.

Anyone who is with me is always going through a roller coaster. I'm Sorry that you have to deal with Someone like me. Goodluck

I will win this. No matter what. Nothing can defeat me anymore. I got this. Be your authentic self. That's all.

I'm waiting for your collabs. You gotta keep yourself busy on that one. So many many YouTubers to talk to.. Go go go.

I will always be Daddy's little girl Thank you Daddy for giving me that confidence

@Marcel I can't open up about my suicide to you that easily. It takes a lot of time and intimate connection for me to be that vulnerable to be able to open up directly to you about something that hurt me all my life. I don't even open up with my family, let alone. My introversion doesn't allow me to open up with people at all. I only open up when all my guards are down and I'm totally intimate with the person I open up very slowly and gradually when the intimacy becomes stronger and I can feel comfortable being vulnerable I never used to express much to my ex boyfriends because they never gave me the chance even in months in the relationship My only way to open up my wounds is in a journal. Unfortunately people use this Vulnerability in journals to target and harass a person by using their personal life details against them

Right now I only wish to talk in my journal. I can't open up easily even to people that I love intensely and deeply. I'm an introvert I only open up when I'm quiet and alone. In my journals I feel quiet and alone and this is where I open up. I can't open up to people.. I don't open up with family or friends or lovers. I only open up slowly when I'm alone or if I am sitting with my partner physically But even then I can't open up. It's difficult. I feel blank in front of people, even closed or dear ones. I feel like I can open up in a journal or a book where I feel nobody is watching me The feeling that someone might be watching me terrifies me.. I can't open up to a psychologist because they keep staring directly at my face. That's totally unhelpful and the last thing I want is someone directly looking at me when I'm being so vulnerable, it makes me hyper anxious and conscious and I go back into closing myself off. I open up onnly when nobody is around. In real life, I only talk when people are not looking at me. Staring at my face can cause my anxiety to skyrocket So i only talk to myself when I'm alone or in my journal I'm sorry if I'm hard to deal with I know I'm hard and I don't expect anyone to compromise wit my nature

I'll never ever judge a suicidal person. It's monstrous to do that. People who judge someone who is suicidal are truly clueless of what it means to be in that place.

My second suicide attempt that I remember was when I was 14. I tried to burn myself by dousing myself in oil.. I poured oil all over me. But my family rescued me from burning. I was feeling depressed and my social anxiety was disrupting my life.

I think one of my suicide attempts happened when my father died. I didn't get my period for like 3 months after my father's death. The stress of his death had blocked my period. Whenever I suffer deep stress, I lose my periods. So this was a very vulnerable time in my life. I was grieving his death. I remember fighting with my family. I went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and slashed my wrist.. I was bleeding from my wrist throughout the day and then my family came and put a plaster on my wrist to stop the bleeding. That was a major suicide attempt.

It takes a lot to go through whatever I went through. I was bullied all my life. I can feel what others feel when they are bullied. I don't laugh at them. I feel their deep pain. Because I went through so much of that.

It takes a lot to go through whatever I went through. I was bullied all my life. I can feel what others feel when they are bullied. I don't laugh at them. I feel their deep pain. Because I went through so much of that.

I feel like finally I can win.. I can do this. That scared child inside of me can finally get wings and take flight. I was very vulnerable for a very long time. I feel like I'm a winner now. I can win. I have this under my belt.

When I'm suicidal, he gives me hope. He is my Phoenix.

I will remember what Marcel said here. He is right. Trolling can hurt so much.. I learn a lot from him.. He is right about many things.

@Marcel I agree. I'm sorry you had to go through this experience.

@Esilda the joke was meant for them to chill and come together and bury hatchet. Apologies if it was inappropriate.

His every word can drive me insane. But anyway, back to my fetishes.

I'm developing new fetishes. These are just a Natural part of my self. It's so hard though. I can imagine him laughing and saying - "I'll make it har..... umm." just shut up preety.

I'm trying to control but it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to focus on anything.

Just a joke. If @Gregory1 was a girl, I'm sure @lxlichael would have fallen in love with her (him) instantly.. Lmao (but true). I'm telling you @lxlichael wouldn't have been able to resist it. both have something charismatic between them.. @lxlichael, @Gregory1 is your long lost soulmate.

@Esilda you're absolutely wonderful and on point. Happy to have met you as well.

@Gregory1 I'm extremely fortunate to have met a person like you. You're a great person with a great and warm heart. I always appreciate people who are real and I was very emotional after listening to your song. You'll achieve great heights in life. You got this. I am proud of your talents. You're pure hearted and you stay blessed.. I hope you live your life constructively and achieve great things. Some people find you funny and or do not understand you. But I understand you completely. I know deep in your heart you have a heart of gold Cheers guy. Happy to have met you

I'm sure @lxlichael will slowly and gradually start liking @Gregory1 for his many hidden talents, oh c'mon @lxlichaelyou got a big heart, you can easily take this guy under your massive wings, do it for me, this guy has many talents, he only needs a direction and he has a very kind loving heart, trust my words, he is like one of the best people on the forum, don't at all underestimate him and his talents, he has a beautiful soft core, just talk to him and he will open up deeply to you, I like his personality and he is good at his heart, he just recently started a YouTube channel and his singing brought tears to my eyes and I'm not someone who is easily impressed, so please take my word for it. Hear out this guy, I know he did some stupid stuff in your journal, but I tell you he is nothing like how he appears. I know this guy's heart, I intuitively understand people and I can tell this guy has a heart of gold. Please be friends with him and see for yourself. He is a real gem on the forum.