Preety_India

I'll call my brain (when I'm asleep) the sleep boss. It's the power of the subconscious mind. I often get my insights in sleep and in dreams. Here an external entity is playing the role in dominating me For example My sleep boss My twin flame My guardian angel My totem or spirit animal My pets My subconscious mind My intuition or inner psychic The imaginary cult that I'm a part of My therapist My fortune teller or tarot card reader. God Notice how all of these are external and not internal at all. It means we have a connection to the outside world and that determines the trajectory in our life. Often we're too good for ourselves and someone else Can guide us better. Being self defensive doesn't help with self preservation. It's supposed to be counterintuitive. Someone else should defend and protect you, an external source.

I also felt like I should be dominated by someone, like a cult. That they should dictate me what I should do. I felt weak and powerful at the same time. It felt like therapy. On one hand it felt weakening as though I was getting more and more fragile but on the other hand I felt more empowered because I was considered important in this cult. I was being valued though I was dominated. I have no idea how this works but it felt good.

A sense of victimhood actually felt secure and protective I imagined myself as a rape victim. I know this sounds bad. But it felt very healing, liberating, and freeing, recuperating, secure, protective, curative and therapeutic. I don't why. I was watching a documentary. This was the documentary. It helped a bit. I imagined myself as a rape-murder victim of Robert Hansen a serial killer I felt good. Maybe it made my childhood trauma be understood better.. I felt like some angel was protecting me. I felt like I wanted to care for myself better and be less self destructive when I imagined myself as a victim. It gave me a sense of peace. It felt protective for some weird reason As though escaping a serial killer was a victory. That a serial killer attempted to murder me and I escaped and survived somehow and this was a soothing feeling. In many ways it mirrored the years of abuse I suffered and gave me a false support that I had somehow escaped all that.

Yesterday in the evening I was constantly thinking about how I felt more feminine and subdued when I was dominated and it felt so awesome. Even felt protected. It's almost like being in a cult but not a bad cult, a cult where you have authority but benevolent authority..

Here the spiritually significant words are Bypass Liberation and freedom. Lack of freedom is abuse. Lack of self preservation is self abuse Love and growth.

The most important word here is bypass. When you have some evil or bad or flaw in you, instead of letting it be a conduit for the devil, look for a bypass. Bypass the need to do bad things by taking the Liberation route. Set yourself free from forces which will use your flaws and weaknesses to hurt you and others. Just bypass it and focus on good. The negativity will die down.

One thing that triggers psychopathic traits is the need for survival. The need to fight for survival makes psychopath traits more attractive. One way to combat this is to let go Easier said than done especially when you are operating 24/7 in survival mode.

One way to work around my flaws is to keep a lid on it. Let those flaws stay down to a minimum. To keep it as neutral and liberated as possible Make sure those flaws aren't getting activated. For example imagine a small hole in a cloth. Don't allow that hole to get bigger. Keep it as it is.

So I have to cut down on scheming and plotting because those specific traits are rating me high on psychopathy or contributing factors.

The parts where I flunked the test were related to manipulation and lying. The parts related to empathy, I scored well. I didn't have a problem of lack of compassion as I'm high on compassion and empathy. But I'm low on social behavior. There's significant anti social personality stuff like lying.

So I took this psychopath test and it confirms that I have psychopathy from the results. https://www.playbuzz.com/gregs/can-you-pass-the-psychopath-test This is the result and I flunked the test.

Saving the Psychopath Psychopath healing strategies dos and don'ts

After realizing that I might have some degree of psychopathy in me, my next strategy should be to reduce it significantly It causes harm to others as well as me. I didn't find any narcissism in me but psychopathy to a certain level was prevalent. Rule number 1 No shit talking. One thing that I need to stop doing is shit talking. Gossip and shit talking aren't useful, they might seem useful in the moment looking like it's serving some purpose but long term it's a pain in the ass and it boomerangs. In the moment it's kinda tempting because it feels like you're onto something essential that you must know. It doesn't work. Just use a simple strategy. Talk to those who are simple, polite, friendly, non shaming, non gaslighting, affectionate, caring and faithful to a certain degree. That's all.. That simple. Avoid those who create drama and gossip and shit talk or act passive aggressive even in the slightest. The thing is psychopathy can be controlled if the factors provoking psychopathic behavior are minimized down to zero. If you're surrounded by people who bring out the psychopath in you, shut them out. One of the most common types of people who bring out the psychopath in you are narcissists. They make it impossible for you to feel free constantly putting you in traps and chains making you act psychopathic in order to deal with it. For example if someone made your life difficult, you will learn to steal to get your way, in order to survive. This makes you a thief???? But what If such a situation never existed in the first place. I'll call it maladaptive behavior, that is behavior that has been caused directly and indirectly by circumstantial conditions.. Your psychopathy won't be activated in a normal environment Positive healthy environments tend to suppress bad behaviors to a certain degree. Whereas negative unhealthy environments tend to activate bad behaviors and set off the bomb. When you allow people to shit talk to you behind other's backs, you show poor boundaries although you're unaware of this yourself. It has a snowballing effect. They shit talk to you. You add to it. It keeps getting bigger and bigger You feel manipulated. And obviously it is manipulation to poison someone's opinion. Lets say I always thought good about person A. Now person B comes to me and says awful shit about person A day and night, 24/7 and for months. For months they keep coercing and influencing me into believing that person A is so nasty etc etc. This is going to have an impact on the psyche. It's difficult to be neutral. You can only be neutral for a while after which you start believing the narrative presented by person B. Thus you form a negative opinion on or of person A. You don't know how to deal with it. You might even end up attacking person A in order to deal with your cognitive biases against person A. This leads to feelings of doubt, guilt and confusion. It becomes a messy situation. Now you try to defend person A. Yet person B begins to gaslight you for being favorable to person A... This becomes very complex. Person B also signs an agreement with you that none of the stuff should be spoken to person A.. This is the pure definition of gossip and maligning, mud slinging and shit talking in the name of venting. Venting should only be for 1 day not for months and months, otherwise it's manipulation. How should you escape such a tight situation? Just block person B the shit talker. You don't give them air time and tell them to vent elsewhere. So you don't have to fall into the psychological traps they are creating for you. Talk to people who only say positive things. Gossip is attractive but gossip is dangerous. It has a bad effect on mental health of the listener of gossip. Don't allow any Tom Dick and Harry into your life. Learn to be cold to people who don't go by your rules. Don't get easily influenced or manipulated. Mostly shit talkers are the worst kind of people to be around. They are downers They praise you during the shit talk and compliment you so that you should listen to them but at the same time they're putting others down to make themselves feel better. Their praise is fake. If they can shit talk about others they can betray you in seconds and do the same to you. Such people are energy vampires. They suck out the energy from you. They make you slip. They lure you and then prey on you. In short they're predatory and parasitic. And if you're a psychopath (for example me), you will feel energized in wrong ways by such people, you'll feel like taking revenge, you'll feel less stable, more triggered, you'll start playing mind games to deal with it. This is like you're getting trapped in their web and unable to get out and finding psychopathic ways to get out. You're simply looking for liberation. When you lay a boundary and they don't follow it, it's a toxic situation you have found yourself in. If you're a normal person you will handle it without causing much damage. If you're a psychopath you will end up making the whole thing way worse and complicated. Such people are drama Queens and kings. They spread poison yet they themselves are not affected by it. However the psychopath suffers terribly because psychopaths don't have much control on their feelings and actions. They can either be impulsive or they might start plotting long term. This is dangerous to both the psychopath as well as others. How should you deal with such a situation? If you find yourself lying, or doing something underhanded or acting sneaky or sketchy, that's the psychopath coming out. If you feel like you are being dishonest, remember the situation is making you dishonest. Honesty is the best policy. If something doesn't feel right, just let the person know. A loving person will understand and back off and not break your boundaries. A cunning vampire selfish narcissistic abusive person Will endlessly argue and even gaslight and project endlessly.. Whatever praise this energy vampire is heaping you is all fake. Whatever compassion they are showing for your misery is fake compassion. If they say they care so much about you, they actually don't, they're simply using you for their temporary needs. If they say they will help you, it's a fake promise, they will never help you, they will throw you temporary bread crumbs and then forget you. All the help is fake. Even the promises to help you in the future are just a lure to keep you tied up to them or these promises are simply fake promises What they are doing essentially is use you as a "dump basket". They're dumping all their negativity and venting on you like a total parasite so they feel better and relieved at the expense of manipulating and taxing your brain with additional stress that you don't need. What to do in such a situation? Get such people out of your life. They are needy, clingy, parasitic, narcissistic, bipolar, Whiny and generally miserable bitter people with nothing better to do. They are jealous and mean as fuck =my mother, she is always mean, narcissistic and jealous of neighbors and I always tell her to stop being jealous. Such people project their own shit on you either making it look like you're doing something that they might be doing or saying someone else is doing it For example, in the above case, person B will poison my mind by saying person A is jealous but in reality it is B who actually is. Similarly my ex boyfriend Joseph used to always suspect that I was cheating on him and constantly throw false accusations at me and projections at me meanwhile he was the one cheating on me all along. Narcissists tend to hide what they do and project it on you. So whenever they make such statements blaming and accusing of shit you never did, they are the ones who are actually doing it but they always find a scapegoat to pin it on. Either it is you or someone else. Just block such people from your life for good. The first sign is when they start shit talking. Cut them out immediately. Also they either use you or ask you for favors. Narcissists rarely speak without demanding something in return Narcissists generally use people secretly as a dump basket. All you have to do is recognize signs and cut such people for good. Tell them to fuck off and you're saved from a parasite.

The old art that I used didn't have very bright colors. This time I want to be forceful and bring in more bright colors and not let it look dull or eroded. Generally using digital medium. I decided to use white spots in different places to make it look brighter.

Nature, scenery and beautiful images.