Preety_India

Hehe. That's beautiful

I did a simple one with watercolor finish.

So there's a woman in my mind who I picture as my role model. I'll call her Miss C for simplicity

Had a dream Felt like I was being challenged in the dream.

I just love this

Beautiful sounds

@Marcel I also love forest sounds Will post more of the sounds I like.

@Marcel I love to hear birds singing. It's like the most beautiful music.

I want to explore different sounds that are soothing and harmonious to the rhythm of the body.

Bird chirping is almost a form of music. I love these sounds.

A woman I can discuss girly things with.

I want someone cool to hang out with. Someone who isn't much drama. Someone I can have a cup of coffee with and chat and discuss things and who isn't taking things too seriously. Who loves travel, fun and laughter and enjoys being social and positive. Who is not catty or jealous. Or fake. Or passive aggressive shaming type Who tries to get along and loves fun. Who doesn't act too stuck up or bothered by little things.

I want a woman in real life who can be my best friend for life, who is drama free and very supportive. In this journal I'll make mental notes on how exactly that woman will be. What kind of feminine energy she will exude and what I can learn from her company. I want that woman in real life.

I wish I could start my life all over again. Like life 2.0 You have no idea what kind of life I would create. None of this shit will ever get into it. We make so many mistakes and there's just so much to learn

I think I had ignored you on multiple occasions in my journals. But you still came. So I had to be kinda courteous. Was never interested in talking to you to begin with. I have you blocked. You can't message me anymore. Got it???? Take your pity party elsewhere. And insanity. Who me?? I'm not the least insane. I'm simply overwhelmed. But my life is going to get better. So i don't need your advice anymore. Keep it for when you'll need it yourself.

And what if I become one with you. Will I exist?

After many many days finally.

Yesterday I completed this one. I wish I could do something like this sitting in nature

Art, positivity, nature I wanna do stuff that I never did before.

One thing that I seriously lack is foresight and given my power of intuition its a huge irony. I think foresight and intuition are on the opposite sides of the seesaw. Both complement each other You need intuition for foresight. Without foresight intuition is like a nail without a hammer. You simply look at the nail not knowing what to do with it. Without intuition foresight simply cannot exist. Intuition is the nail and foresight is the hammer. But you need the hammer for the nail to fit in place. I wish I had the foresight with a lot of things.

Retreats are so awesome. Only if I boatloads of money I would go on a retreat for a week or a month somewhere in the mountains Last time I went on a retreat was in 2019 I had spent all of my hard earned money on it. But it helped me find peace. It was mega expensive and burned a big hole in my pocket. These days I can't even think of something like that. I have saved up some money for books and art supplies and art classes in the future. I just can't think of going on a retreat Plus I want therapy for PTSD which is mega expensive in my place. I wish I never had to deal with such a family. Too many things that went wrong. Too much passed Too many things I forgot to take into consideration. I tried so hard just to have some peace of mind. I distracted myself really badly for years and it did a good job of handling the trauma.

Lately I have been dealing with too much emotional stress coming from my family. I just don't want them. I wish I could go away somewhere for a retreat. I feel absolutely incapacitated. It's like I don't like anything at all. I feel like I want a break from my family. They have been doing some toxic shit. Like nobody is talking to any one because of whatever my mother did. And I'm thinking I need time till January to sort things out. I have been through so much. I just need to take care of myself. I'm investing in art in the meanwhile and trying to cope to the best of my abilities with my family issues. It's not easy at all. But art has been an uncharacteristic and unusual healer. God give me a breakthrough I really don't want pathetic family members in my life.

I tried making a quick prayer for healing. Because I have been so overwhelmed by my home situation. It's ridiculous to the extreme. I don't even feel like writing about it anymore.