Preety_India

Today was a super exhausting day but I managed somehow

Came back finally and the machine in the bank wasn't working so I could not withdraw money. Same old same old. So exhausted. There was a huge crowd there and I couldn't stand it. No ventilation and there was literally no space to breathe.

Talking to myself - I just came out of the shower. Feeling good except that my eyes are red and burning. The damn shampoo got into my eyes as usual. I'm feeling a wave of confidence. I need to go the bank right now to withdraw cash and do some work regarding my account like submitting documents for an investment. I'll be back in 2 hours because the bank ques are quite long.

Took me a lot of time to complete this. I don't like how I shaded the eye. It seems I dragged that shadow a bit too much. Also I see a color mismatch near the eyes. I dragged the brush a bit off that left the canvas and got smeared at the bottom. There are minor imperfections here and there. But overall okay.

Today is November 11 and I got a lot of work to do today. Hopefully the day goes well because I've been feeling some anxiety since morning.

Last night when I woke up I found myself murmuring my lover's name.. I felt instantly relaxed.

I slept in a very unhealthy fashion.

I have been so sleeply lately

This is a very difficult thing to do since your primary instinct is self protection. Don't hold any feelings of shame, regret or embarrassment since none of this situation is your fault. These are the challenges of the job. Let it go from the deeper part of your heart, sit in meditation and focus on this person and accept their actions as a part of their mentality. Focus on how destructive it can be but also realize that this is part and parcel of the job you signed up for. Try to focus on other productive things like art, music, singing or reading. This will take your mind off the event. The only way to heal from a traumatizing incident is to Let lt diffuse on its own with time. That's what I did when my mentally ill mother attacked me a few weeks ago. I invested my time in art and slowly tried to forget what she did. I have been doing better since. Just don't attach yourself to such situations and keep moving on.

It's so eerily quiet around here. Spooky spooky quiet. No coucal. No cat. I don't know what happened to that cat. I didn't hear anything. I feel so delicate right now. And it's so cold. I just need a warm blanket and some soup. Hehe. My emotions are fluctuating right now. Just being by myself is a huge privilege.

my-personal-feelings-part-1 art-class-homework-journal-and-language-learning-class-homework

Last time the forum crashed and I couldn't upload my recent art work. Completed this recently.

I need to plan a whole variety of task masters for all the different stuff that I do.

I'm just hoping that tomorrow will be fine

Money is completely irrelevant on a date. Whenever I went on a date in the past, I never even thought about how much money the guy is spending on the food. Money didn't impress me. Would I like a guy more if he spent more money on me?? Absolutely "No"... I mean I have myself paid either 50/50 split or the whole bill in the past I have no problem with paying for the guy. Because money is just irrelevant. To be honest, if a guy spent excessively on me, I would be creeper out. I would sense that he expects something unusual out of me and maybe that's why he is trying to do some momentary favor. I might even tend to think that the guy might have control issues. This happened with one of the men in the past where he gifted me something and kept telling me how expensive the dress was. It became annoying because he would boast endlessly. I think it hurt my pride. So I returned the gift to him. If I remember in the past when I used to go on dates, the only thing on my mind was to have a fun time, like looking around, walking hand in hand sweet romantic conversations and humor. I wanted a fun chill time and someone who is reciprocating and trusting. To be fair asking to be fun and chill is not much to ask for. Also why will I be on a date just to be disappointed? Isn't a date supposed to be fun?

Trying to keep a track on my progress. Today I meditated for half an hour. I already felt a tiny difference.

@Marcel you're my apple pie. (so excited - jumping with joy)

These days I'm a bit happy because I can see things clearer every day. I'm lucky somehow.

@Marcel I love you so much. You helped me a lot past couple of days. I'm so grateful hun.

I don't see any damage from Twitter or Facebook. In fact Facebook has helped reunite missing people. I'm all for supporting mainstream social media They are doing a great job.

I think you should simply avoid a relationship where you can see signs that the guy is not committing. Problem solved. It's a waste of time giving all your attention and love to a man who is not committing. At the same time I would like to explore the reasons for not committing.. Like for example with my very first boyfriend, he wanted a career and a home and that's why he was putting off committment, he was ready to marry only if he could have enough money to raise a family. I wouldn't really label it as commitment phobia but rather a state of deprivation or a temporary hurdle. This happens in many relationships. In fact even if you found the "one and only" and both of you are really committed to each other, there can still be issues about moving in together, I mean financial issues etc. But if there is no other issue lagging the relationship then most likely the guy is simply not ready to commit. And he should probably let you know at some point. Like for example with my third relationship, I was the one trying to pull away from commitment. But it wasn't as simple as commitment phobia. Initially I was fully ready to commit with this guy. Yet after spending a year with him I realized that he is not marriage material because he had been a cheater. He had acted in ways that can't possibly sustain a marriage. That's when I began to have second thoughts and I sorta withdrew my attachment and commitment to the guy. At a certain point I made it clear to him that if he wasn't going to change, I wasn't going to commit. So i guess with committment issues there are lots of different factors worth looking into. It's not as simple as "phobia" or "wanting the best girl" or "didn't land the best one" or "how to keep a man" or any of that nature. There are too many underlying factors and you could be extremely attractive and yet the relationship dynamic could be shaky and flimsy causing commitment issues. Don't judge yourself if a guy is not committed to you, especially if you do everything right in a relationship to the best of your capacity. Someone's insecurity shouldn't be your responsibility. If the guy doesn't feel like he wants to be with you, you can walk your way confidently into the arms of a man who truly wants you. Trust yourself. I had experiences where I felt the guy was not committed to me. Who cares? If he doesn't find me worthy then someone else will. Raise your confidence as a woman where a man no longer gets to decide your worth or attractiveness. You decide and choose the man you want. And if he is not into you, you can find a man who is into you and wants you. And by doing that you aren't lowering any standards, you're finding what is worth being with.

@Marcel I love you. ❤️

Lots of questions that I'll discuss later What was Jodi's childhood like? Was Jodi abused as a child? What is Jodi's relationship and dating history? Were there tell tale signs of Jodi's psychopathic behavior in early childhood and late teens? What motivated Jodi to kill her ex boyfriend Travis Alexander? (my personal theory) Why is this particular case close to my heart? Why does this case bring up so many emotions? Why is Jodi Arias so famous? Why is there a sense of mystery around Jodi Arias? Why are people obsessed with Jodi Arias? What sets Jodi Arias different from regular criminals? Why was the crime so brutal? Why does Jodi appear so calm? Is Jodi Arias capable of remorse? Is Jodi Arias deserving of a defense? Did Travis Alexander deserve to die? Why does the case of Jodi Arias and Travis Alexander have a haunting nature to it? What does the crime scene suggest? Why is Jodi Arias a Prolific pathological liar? Is Jodi finding peace? Why do some people worship Jodi Arias? Why do some people sympathize with Jodi Arias? What is the dark side of psychopathy? Do all psychopaths kill? Is death penalty justifiable? And much more.

Jodi Arias : Criminal case study and Profiling Part 1 Arias's Childhood Jodi Arias was born in middle California and went to high school in northern California. All in all, it looks like this future killer of Travis Alexander (pictured above) had a fairly normal childhood, but that could just be because no one has much evidence to the contrary. When you come across Arias' young life in an interview, it's always a snippet that provides little to no information. There was nothing odd about her that really stood out; she was a "good girl," according to Tina Ross, a close friend from high school (via Insider). Arias herself even told ABC that she had an "almost ideal" childhood. But was it really? Arias claims things weren't quite so ideal behind closed doors. During early testimony, Arias made claims about the abusive nature of her parents, saying the abuse became increasingly frequent and the beatings became more intense the older she got. At one point, she even claims that her mother carried around a wooden spoon in her purse so there'd always be an instrument of punishment should the need arise. Her parents, of course, haven't admitted to these accusations.

Criminal psychology case study part 1 Jodi was born in Salinas, California, U.S. He is mainly known as Jodi but her real name is Jodi Arias. Her birth date is 9 July 1980. Her age is 41 years as of 2021. She did her school education at Yreka Union High School. Jodi Arias became a household name after she was convicted in 2013 and sentenced to life in prison in 2015 for killing her ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander. There's no question that she killed Alexander, but is Arias a sociopath who carried out a murder or misunderstood and in jail after acting in self-defense? That's the question being posed in a two-hour special, “If I Can’t Have You: The Jodi Arias Story,” Jodi Arias is probably the most discussed and the most profiled criminal in the United States. Her case has been studied by multiple experts and psychologists. Her case is pure gold because it offers a plethora of information on Borderline personality disorder and a host of other complicated psychological conditions. Jodi Arias is also a very good case study for both sociopathy and psychopathy. Description of Jodi as a child Jodi Arias was born in middle California and went to high school in northern California. ... There was nothing odd about her that really stood out; she was a "good girl," according to Tina Ross, a close friend from high school (via Insider). Arias herself even told ABC that she had an "almost ideal" childhood. Arias's childhood friend Patti describes Arias as a good friend.