Preety_India

Since I constantly go blank and my self awareness is very low, I'm going to use this technique to deal with this annoying problem. I'll use two statements to quickly bring my brain into functional working mode rather than being stuck in a blank mode. I'll use two statements - "what's next?" "assessing the overall situation"

So this is how I have decided to proceed forward with my life Everyday early morning I'm going to hold a discussion with myself as to what I'm going to do for that particular day/week. This will keep in a certain frame of mind and help me keep motivated towards what I want. I've noticed in the past couple of days that my articulation has improved a bit (a tiny bit) and it's a huge accomplishment for me. I never thought my articulation was ever going to improve.. But I'm able to write more fluently without feeling awkward or without feeling dumb or blank. I'm able to say things the way I would want to say without it coming out as something else I didn't intend it to be

This is a very good way of dealing with a blank mind. I usually feel kinda empty blank when I wake up early in the morning. I don't know why this happens, it's probably a combination of my absent mindedness and depression. But I'm slowly (really slowly lol), getting a grip on my mental lethargy. (reminding myself that I started a journal called what's next not too long ago)

So what's next? This question really helps me in assessing the overall situation. This is how I'm going to be approaching my life from now on. I'm going to make more plans and then implement them in baby steps. I'll call it — assessing the overall situation. And everyday I'll do the same steps in a repetitive fashion.

Today I did something I normally don't do I walked into that place despite my anxiety and got my stuff done. Felt better that I took this baby step. It gave me some self confidence. I need massive doses of self confidence if I really want to see mega changes in my life. Still a bit timid and scared.. My anxiety always gets the better of me.

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By rounding up people who act like hooligans and placing them in cages forever. That's how you keep the streets safe. If the police is acting passive, you can't do much about it. This has everything to do with how strong the law enforcement is when it comes to dealing with gangs. Yes its tough obviously. But once you get a few gang members in prison they can snitch on other members and you get the whole gang in prison. Any youth that shows even little signs of radicalization needs to be quarantined in remand homes or rehabs designed for potential criminals and terrorists. You need an intelligence unit or task force especially designed to target radicalized groups and arrest them immediately if they have been seen storing guns, weapons, bombs, ammunition. That's the best that can be done. Also public ostracism of radicalized teenagers or adults can help discourage others from joining such outfits. Control immigration and carry strict background checks and verifications on immigrants to avoid potential criminals. Although this might sound like racial Profiling, public security is more important than any racial bias claims.

I've never understood how extroverts manage to do small talk. I have never gotten around it. I'm assertive and I tend to make direct statement like, "I'm not feeling good, I have anxiety." That's as far as I can go with personal talk. People who are extroverts tend to ramble endlessly in a story telling format which is nice to listen to, even though a lot is bullshit, but it fills up for a casual conversation and helps with gaining trust and bonding. Often a direct introverted assertive person like me can come across rude and crude even though there was no such intent. Wish I could also storytell some bullshit!

@DnoReally we never consider a victim's character profile in criminal investigations. That's off limits and actually irrelevant. What would you say if he wasn't a pedophile? How is his character relevant to the fact that he is deceased? Maybe he thought he was saving people from an apparent tragedy. How do you exactly know that Kyle Rittenhouse didn't have the intent to mass shoot the rioters?

@DnoReally he was open carrying a rifle in an agitated rioting crowd. Yes I see that as intimidation. He also discharged his weapon. You can call it self defense. I call it immaturity and stupidity and threatening the public by misusing the second amendment laws Even terrorists carry guns and walk around. Then why are people terrified of them? Why shouldn't people be terrified of a young teen carrying a rifle?

If you think it is pure self defense, then you also need to consider why people jumped on him. They did it for self defense too. A guy carrying a huge rifle can easily be considered a threat given so many shootings in crowded places. The people who either jumped on him or pointed a gun at him thought that they are saving other people from a mad shooter. You never know what is going on in a person's mind when he is carrying a gun through a crowd. People attacking him is equally justifiable. @DnoReally. This is not a case of political interpretations or personal delusions before you jump the gun. It is matter of public security. If someone wants to carry a gun for self defense they can hide it and use it when needed. But to carry a rifle around a crowd, walking around which might seem threatening to people is not a great idea, it obviously creates panic and fear at the very least and actions of a panicked crowd cannot be judged. He was wrong to do what he did. He was not a police officer to carry a gun. You cannot look at this situation through a hyper logical perspective. You have to take human nature into account and how humans are going to react (and in such a situation there is literally no time to interpret a reaction), to a person carrying a life threatening weapon, and that's not a police officer, that's a teen carrying a huge weapon, it almost has a terrorizing impact on people, that's why it wasn't just one person who jumped on him, many people felt threatened. What he did (although might not be criminal in the eyes of law) is an act of public intimidation. Can you blame the public if they felt intimidated? The difference is someone is dead. So he wasn't simply carrying a weapon, he actually discharged. He could have chosen to not be in that place and avoid provoking. Yet he didn't. It's like he was calling for it. Well in that case, it should have been a minimum manslaughter and public intimidation. He is kinda lucky that he was declared not guilty. Because people have died only on pure suspicion of carrying a firearm by scared police officers. Yet he was actively posing as a threat Ridiculous laws.

OK let me try this. Let me think I'm a male for a minute. So if I were a male, what kind of a woman would I want — Kind Loving Funny Warm Affectionate Genuine Loyal Committed Emotional

I'm not happy about the verdict. It sends a wrong message. That's its okay to carry guns, big rifles right into a crowded place and act in a threatening manner and if someone is scared enough to jump on you, you get to play self defense. Is this real life or GTA?

@Marcel I love you hun. Your words touch my heart. I don't know what I would do without you. This is my ultimate song for you by John Denver. Our love is eternal. I am dedicating these beautiful lyrics to you - You fill up my senses like a night in a forest, Like the mountains in springtime, Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses, come fill me again. Come let me love you, let me give my life to you, Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you Come let me love you, come love me again. Let me give my life to you, Come let me love you, come love me again. You fill up my senses like a night in a forest, Like the mountains in springtime, Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

4 pillars of ultimate success according to me Spirituality.. Fundamentally good... Stage Coral Consciousness.... Example zero.. gossip ...stage Green Materialism and Self Actualization. General development... For example setting up a forensic department or working in the field of psychology. Stage orange Survival... Stage Red

Let's see how I get this done

My growth in the last month occurred in following phases.. Self awareness Self confidence Emotional Maturity Social tact Social maturity Social awareness These are the areas I improved on. I saw good result.

things that I have to work on Chronic PTSD and anxiety Self confidence Depression Secondary Psychopathy (hypersensitive nature) Health efficiency (this is a concept where you maintain your health in order to be efficient as long as possible in life. Often times we neglect our health because we assume whatever we are doing currently is very important. It's a huge psychological phenomenon that has dangerous consequences on health)

... Collect resources on CPTSD

I will need 3 things to Kickstart my self development journey Couple of journals Taskmasters and logbooks - Progress reports

Specific Practicing discipline Control on temper Meditation CPTSD recovery Gut healing and healthy food Art work project God connection appearance Cooking Back pain insomnia Daily task efficiency Relationship Breathing p Fluctuating weight