Preety_India

I have come so far in socially evolving myself. I need to give myself a pat. Good Job. Although I got more to do. More work on myself. Beginning to realize that a lot of problems get solved automatically if you work on yourself.

I need to adopt the mindset of an emotionally detached right wing troll. There are advantages to it that I didn't previously notice. It helps in survival situations. It helps to be emotionally detached from people. That way what they say doesn't bother you too much. You raise inner defenses so only the people who genuinely care come in through. (also there is no fucking problem in being Super assertive. It helps. Those who respect will respect).

Also don't feel discouraged when you witness any form of groupism or favoritism. It only shows lack of Openness because only closed minded fucks do that kind of nonsense of alienation and mutual admiration society, truly open people are open to all, they don't engage in silly tribalism and social politics. That's not spiritual exactly. Nor is it high conscious, it's just kinda lame and fake. You have to laugh because the people who act like they are so in awe of each other might soon be bored of each other, like fake friends??? I need to thank the universe that I was sheltered from all the social nonsense for so long. I wouldn't have survived it either way.

If you have that mindset then you can't become "good enough" because you will never consider yourself to be even if that's the case. I tried telling you what would be good for you. But you seem to be the type who likes to hold on to their own and listen less to others. It's like you're happy with the voices in your head that tell you all this discouraging things. Well then you're on your own if that serves you. Sorry I can't help you if you wish to carry that mindset. Have a good day.

Don't be discouraged by offensive comments. Biases will always exist. Take the higher road. Don't be emotionally attached to this place. When you realize that things don't align with you and you feel like a pariah, don't take it to heart. It only means that things (people) are being auto eliminated for you.

Another thing to tell myself is - Don't be discouraged. (I'm Going to be discussing stage orange spirituality, a new concept). (I'm implemented a lot of changes in myself).

You don't become a loser just because you are a virgin. There's a kind of cultural conditioning that you need to get out of.. Learn to embrace and love yourself before it becomes a downward spiral Get away from self sabotage.

For some reason I'm feeling weirded out on this forum I'm feeling freaked out right now. I can't explain it. But something is giving me the creeps. Like an awful feeling. As though there is something wrong in this place but I can't put my finger on it. It just feels freaky and absurd. There is bad juju here, it gets to me everytime because I tend to feel things rather than think. People are obsessed with very shallow stuff here although they call it a spiritual place. This place is not good for someone who is trying to spiritually progress. It's a downer I try so hard to fit in here but it always seems very elusive to me.. I was doing well for a while interacting with people but I get the ominous feeling again.. I guess it's just not wise to interact with people here anymore. And I'm not a people hater. I like interactions. In real life I'm a very friendly good kind person. But for reasons this place brings out the worst in me and always, puts me in a bad mood. I say this place is worse than social media. Because even there people have some dignity.. Some of the comments I read here make me wanna throw up or very upset like there is no hope for humanity. In the outside world there are lots of good people. So I shouldn't let this place dictate what I think of the world I have never seen people saying directly crass things the way I see here. Also there is too much racism in this place, everything is always made about race but it's always very indirect and covert and I'm such a person that I always pick up things mentally. So I always sense covert things. This place has a bad mental vibe. It's like entering a house with bad juju and you don't know why you feel sad but you feel sad anyway. I'm a psychic and I tend to sense things psychically all the time. Like if someone has good intent I sense it. My psychic sense is pretty strong. Because I literally feel through things. So i don't talk philosophically. Because I see things for what they are and so I just directly say it rather than beating around the bush. Right now I feel like I should take a break from the forum and focus on my journaling. Also although socialization is necessary and it teaches you a lot of things, this place is not ideally designed for healthy interactions or healthy Socialization. It's too antagonizing and gives out a "weird" vibe. I'm dealing with something that is not good or wise. And I should do what's wise. I'll completely stop interacting on the forum altogether because every time I do I'm disappointed by the lack of encouraging vibe. The antagonizing responses. The covert closet feel to every response. It gets to me. There is some sort of a stinking elitism here that I absolutely cannot tolerate. A person who is genuine will not be able to adapt to this place. It's like you're desperately trying to fit into a dysfunctional community and it never works. For example if you're trying to fit into a group of friends who are constantly boasting how rich they are, would you be able to truly fit in? No. Because you just don't share the same mindset or values so eventually you skip no matter how hard you try to fit in. It's like an abusive relationship or a toxic boyfriend/girlfriend. No matter how much you try to make the relationship work, the abuse will always exist. And the only solution is to break it completely and move on for peace.. I tried to come back to the forum as an experiment to see if I can fit in. Nope. I can't. The politics here is too strong. I tend to sense it. Even if I don't feel triggered or provoked like I used to, there is a certain discomfort or annoyance I constantly feel when I read certain posts. It creates feelings of disgust. I tend to feel a not so friendly feeling or even neutral or calmness when I read here. Although not angered or triggered, it's still makes me feel like I don't want to be a part of it. Like I wouldn't want to be a part of group of people who boast about wealth. Just an example. It's not about being triggered. It's just that it doesn't align with who I am and puts me in a difficult position. This place is not spiritually aligned to my needs. It's too "heavy" and I'm a light hearted person who likes to be happy, chill and just generally nice. I don't think too deep or make a big deal. I just like to say my thank you's and greetings whenever I can.. I don't go too far out to make everything look like a big fucking deal. I don't feel the need to proclaim anything. OK enough said. I will focus on my journals and take a break from the forum.

The more I learn about socialization the more I feel like yuck.. It takes me down a rabbit hole of racism, prejudice, bias, hatred, discrimination, selfishness, materialism, shallowness, boredom and lack of love, spirituality, consciousness You can't find consciousness in a brothel!

One thing that I learned from my break from the forum is to stay the fuck away from confrontational and emotionally triggering topics. I have learned that people who constantly open such threads are the types who probably have tons of time to waste, love getting into conflicts and unnecessary arguments and are just generally trigger happy drama creating attention seeking people. So it's best to avoid conversations in those type of threads. Of course these people aren't exactly interested in learning because they go on endlessly arguing and always say negative crap. No need to feed them anymore. Also there is no need to be hyper critical because it has no advantage.

These are the things I learned last month when I took a break from the forum Social tact Social cues Confrontational language Nuance Maturity Social attitude and psyche Social games and politics Foresight Social psychology Social awareness Social confidence. Boundaries Not being too sweet Neutral attitude and behavior

Being too confrontational and being too sweet. I think both are problematic. Being too sweet causes people to treat you like a doormat and brings in unnecessary drama..

This is true. He was very social as a kid because he came from a big family. His mom is very social and it's something he picked from his mom. He had many friends as a kid. Mother also played a role because she used to encourage him to socialize a lot as a kid. His family is that way.

Learning socialization is very difficult for someone like me who has long struggled with social anxiety. I have avoided social aspects for the majority of my life. It's just that social things cause a lot of drama in my life and I'm a drama-sensitive person. I picked up early on from my mother's behavior to avoid drama causing women as much as possible. Now when it comes to socialization, there are certain things that are very important. It's not simply about learning social tact. Picking social cues and learning social tact is simply one aspect of living among people. The other aspects are related to psyche. Like social attitude and social confidence. Much of my social behavior was a result of lack of social confidence.. I couldn't place boundaries. I couldn't say no. I didn't know how to be strong and polite at the same time. Social attitude is another thing. How you are and how you behave socially dictates a lot of what type of people will exist in your social circle. If you attract unwanted people it's because you engage in those behaviors.. You engage in neutral behaviors and you attract neutral people

I have used confrontational language in the past because my nature is such that I'm easily provoked.. So far I've learned that confrontational behavior only leads to more conflict and hate. It doesn't serve a purpose. So I'm trying to be as less confrontational as possible. I'm trying to understand social psychology in depth and it takes a horrible amount of time to learn these things.

I feel like I have grown so much in terms of maturity and nuance. I have undergone a metamorphosis. I understand people and pick up social cues better now than before. I have come a long way and yes it has taken some time but it's never too late to learn anything I have blocked a lot of social drama from my life successfully. I have learned that being too personal with people comes at its own cost especially when it's not reciprocated in a good way. Plus I'm learning a lot about maintaining a social ego which I didn't have before. Ego games look stupid to me personally.. But I have realized that if I'm to be a part of general society I better learn these games and learn to be good at it to protect my own social sanity.

For some people it's natural. My ex boyfriend has no clue about RSD or Pua any of that. He also tends to hate these things whenever it's mentioned. It's sorta against his pride to learn such stuff. He prides in being confident naturally and most women are just drawn to him. All it takes for him is a simple conversation and most women gravitate to him. So from the way he attracted me I know that all men don't need to rely on pickup or external sources to attract women. Some men are naturally adept and skilled with socialization because they are naturally very social and flirty and they have a charisma that attracts women.. Looks also play a part and some natural masculinity. You can say he is a natural Pua artist, like a natural painter or dancer, born artist I mean.

Well that's very high conscious of you, I like your open mindedness on that. I'm very much that way, at the end of the day I just don't care about these preferences as long as someone clicks with me and I'm happy with them. That's all that matters, even if the guy is shorter than me, it just doesn't matter. This does not mean that I have zero standards, it's just that I don't believe in superficial standards. I have other standards like moral character and behavior. If he is a good guy and treats me with respect, that is enough for me.

@Marcel I wanted to show you my taste in shoes.

@Marcel hun I forgot I had such a huge collection of nail art. You teach me Abundance

And that's why she is so rare. There are videos online where models discuss how dark skinned models are discriminated against fair skinned models. And that is the reason why every year Miss Universe and Miss World titles are always won by women who have European features and never by black women. That's also the reason why when Hollywood recruits black actors and actresses it's usually the pale skinned black people whereas the darker skinned black girls are usually not hired in music videos. There are videos on this subject as well. That's why Rihanna and Beyonce are so famous because they have European features and don't look at all like the average black woman on the street. That's why in Indian marriage ads, Indian guys are always stating - "I want a fair looking woman." All these pathetic fashion industries and corrupt Hollyweird oops Hollywood always seem to have a standard black man like Will Smith or some black woman like Halle Berry just to show that they care so much about diversity that they somehow always seem to have a token black person as a representation in their kitty whereas majority of black people will always struggle meanwhile there will always be a token black man in every TV show, in every award ceremony, in every movie, in every fashion magazine because we care so so much about honoring diversity. That's why when you flip through a fashion magazine there is only one black woman on a page and 20 white females on all other pages. Just another example of how important it is to represent at least, and I mean it, at least one dark skinned person in every project just to demonstrate how much we actually care, that you could only come up with one name of a black woman in the fashion industry. Naomi Campbell has herself talked about the discrimination she faced in the fashion industry. You won't have such a beautiful privilege of what it means to be treated as undesirable in the world because you are a white man. Nobody is going to question your skin color or automatically assume shit about you. Not trying to offend you but just stating that reality is quite harsh for non white people in this world when it comes to beauty standards, appearance and self esteem. Indian marriage ads are full of potential grooms asking for a pale skin girl and dark skinned girls usually get rejected in huge numbers (thanks to colonialism and white Supremacy, for ingraining an inferiority complex in former slave nations that only white skin superior) So when an Indian guy opens a topic about heightism, maybe he should also open a topic about darkism and let the world know that in India there a is massive disease called colorism and how dark skinned women are always looked down on and rejected in dating whereas fair skinned women are preferred because it makes them feel like they are marrying a white woman. Enough said.

She is living in the real world perhaps away from the chaos of the internet. A gentle wise soul.

But men have other standards for women like big tits and beautiful cute face. Probably pale light skin as well..

I took a major step today to make things better.

This is the cutest thing I saw in my entire life.. https://youtube.com/shorts/E5z8W3DUnys?feature=share